League News

I am recycling the cover photo from the second week of regular season play to commemorate the fact that Captain Joel Gattey’s ‘Murder On The J-Hole Express’ have rattled past ‘No Shit Sherlock’ station, and are chugging on to the Final stop. Red now enjoy a bye week, and await the survivor of a ménage à mort this Sunday (Olive v White, with the winner taking on Brown). It’s hard to derail the team that wins their way into the Final first, but the term ‘trainwreck’ exists for a reason…

Captain Jeremy Copp’s ‘Olive Us Are Suspects’ came into their Playoff Week Two meeting with Brown with zero losses in eleven outings, but now (as the harsh playoff world would have it) find themselves in the ‘Losers’ Bracket after a tough 2-1 loss. Playoff hockey is a cruel mistress…one who will stab you in the back just when you think it’s safe to roll over, drift off to sleep, and continue dreaming of Cup glory…

Well, it looks like the mystery of President Pope’s murder has all been wrapped up in a neat little package…case closed…nothing further to see here. If you missed the news, General Severus Eggplant and his Purple puzzlers snatched a White hot tip off the wire, and pinned the murder on Duchess Jeannine Gold-Diggerton. The Butler confirmed the Duchess did indeed do the deed, doing the President in with ‘repeated balls to the face’ until he succumbed to excessive cranial trauma and collapsed in the crease. The back-slappery in the 4S Manor ballroom was in full swing, with General Eggplant swigging champagne between boastful bursts about his incredible acumen and insight. Purple will have their party, as promised, but here’s what REALLY happened…