League News

Captain Rob Gaudio’s ‘Threat Level Midnight’ secured their second win of the season, besting Brown 6-3 to move above the cut line with four games remaining on their schedule. The threat of missing the playoffs is still very real for Black, and a (fitting) faceoff with Gold(en Face) this Sunday will either tick them closer to a second season stamp, or tock them back down into CriManSqua territory…

Captain Luke Wolmer’s ‘Kelly Kapoorsports’ did their namesake proud in a B-A-N-A-N-A-S 1-0 triumph over the previously unbeaten ‘Orange Vod-Juice-Ka’. Green actually outshot Orange 25-6 (!) in a furious, but ultimately only BARELY fruitful effort, thanks almost entirely to the otherworldly play of a one Mr. Matt ‘Man Possessed’ Henderson. Wolmer’s crew have (fittingly) split their wins and loss evenly thus far at 2-2-0, but will look to continue their upset uprising in a Week Six throwdown with the only remaining undefeated team in the league, Blue…

Captain Joel Gattey’s ‘DWhite Schrutes & Scores’ took a page from their namesake, and treated their 0-2-0 with the critical urgency that it deserves. After all, while it is technically ‘still early’, any one game can be the difference between in or out, come playoff time. That is particularly true when you are facing off against your standings neighbors, whichever rung of the ladder you may find yourself on. A big 1-0 win over a desperate Purple side proved that White is not taking anyone lightly, and is definitely not messing around when it comes to their playoff safety…

Captain Jon Salt’s team has been anything but impish in the early going of the Winter 2023-24 season, confidently dispatching Brown and Gold in the first fifth of their season slate to stake a shared claim to the top spot in the standings at 2-0-0. We know that the hockey fates can be as fickle as Belsnickel himself, but Blue is doing all the judging, and handing out all of the punishment, so far…