League News

Captain Ryan Karns and ‘Karnsma Police’ started the season with two wins. Little did they know at the time, but those would be their only two wins of the season…a season that ended in an overtime loss to White in the league’s first ever ‘play-in’ game. What goes up must come down…what goes around comes around…clichés are like a box of chocolates, and Blue became the first casualty in the most preposterous parade of playoff parity in twenty-five years of SDFHL playoff history…

For the first time in league history, nine teams set sail on playoff waters. Spoiler alert, something will likely go horribly wrong for eight of those teams. One team will find space on a life boat, float past the frozen bodies of their foes, and be rescued by the RMS Cup Winner. It’s sink or swim, starting this Sunday…

For the first time in SDFHL history, we have a season in which ‘every team makes the playoffs’. Still, the bottom two teams need to ‘play in’ to the second season, so there is plenty of hand wringing going on in the lower decks. Captain Palomo Schmidt and ‘Pearl Chen’s Summer Tour’ are already locked into that do-or-die date, with the victim of their only conquest (Blue) clinging to hope that they can avoid being the other party in the one-and-done dismissal dance on July 17. The seeding from top to bottom of the litter will all be scratched out this Sunday…

No one does murder like OJ. Double murder…OJ’s got you covered. After nearly decapitating Blue 7-1, Captain Gattey’s ‘GO, OJ, GO!’ slashed through and cast aside Green, 5-2. Police have identified two primary suspects in the crime…Eric Herrmann, and David Schlatter. The two are charged with TEN counts of aggravated goal scoring, and SIX counts of accessory to murder in the past two games alone! IF they did it, well…all heinous criminality aside…that’s some impressive slicing and dicing!

Captain Steph Palomo Schmidt’s ‘Pearl Chen’s Summer Tour’ has hit rock bottom, as every team in the league currently has them in their rear view mirror (reference check). A win over Blue in Week Four had the band amped (*rim shot*), and with every team technically making the playoffs, White is still very much alive (reference check), but their season will fade to black (reference check) quickly if they can’t win more than once (reference check) in five tries…