League News

Tails…Red loses. Captain Brandon Olsen and ‘Nicelbackcheck’ were the only underdogs to overcome in Week One of playoff action this past Sunday. The six seed now has designs on pressing their unexpected momentum against second seeded White, while Red will need to regroup and survive the Loser’s Bracket trenches, as the playoffs flip to the knockout stage.

“OAT, OAT…and STAY OAT!” I am paraphrasing here, but these words were overheard on Sunday, as Gold and Blue were officially sent packing from the playoff picture. The remaining eight teams have nothing to lose (nor gain) in the final Sunday of regular season play, save positioning, pride, and the plumping of personal points.

‘The Grape Ones’ moved north of the playoff border in Week Seven after mounting a big second period to push past the ‘Mounties’. Meanwhile, Gold is still struggling to secure safe passage to playoff pastures, while Blue has all but officially been bounced, as we enter the penultimate week of play…

Captain Parsa Mostafavi watched from the bench as ‘My Harsh Will Gold On’ finally found themselves afloat on winning waters. The win, which came at Blue’s expense (of course), pushes Gold above the cut line (for now). Will they treasure this win, hold on tight, and turn to playoff tides, or will they chuck it back into the ocean, much to the horror and chagrin of everyone present? PS: Do you see what I did there…’about face’…with a Canadian accent…’a boat face’…because Gold might have turned their season around…get it? A boat…the Titanic…Rose…Rose has a face…that counts. Get it? Pulitzer nominations are accepted, in lieu of applause.