League News

Captain Jon Salt’s ‘Jonnie Wolmer Blue Label’ have stayed out of reach of ‘the common teams’ all season, still sipping pretty on the highest of shelves in the standings at a smooth 3-0-2. The bitter aftertaste of a loss has yet to touch their lips, and their spirits are high in all ways…

Whether or not the flakes of gold in Goldschläger are real, they go into your digestive system, and out the other end as (sparkly) waste. It’s fitting, then, that Captain Joel Gattey’s ‘Goal-schlägers’ find themselves in the standings toilet through four weeks of play. While they are far from flushed, it’s going to take some difficult, dirty digging and sifting to salvage any real value this season…

A toast…to all of the tangy twists that this SDFHL season has to offer. Captain Janet Goins’ ‘Abelol Schmidts’ raised their glasses after raising some eyebrows with a stunning, spritzkrieg 6-4 win over previously-perfect Atomic Blue in Week Four. It was Orange’s first win of the season, but also (definitely) the first time the (suddenly shaky) ‘Silencer’™ has allowed a six pack of strikes. It’s an (ironically) sobering reminder that anything can happen when you belly up to the Crossbar on Sunday…

Captain Ryan Karns’ ‘Bar Stool Samples’ got a bit hammered on ‘Jonnie Wolmer Blue Label’, and found themselves down 3-0 with 80 seconds to play. Their prayers to the porcelain god were answered though, and they proceeded to stage the greatest rally in SDFHL history, scoring three times in the span of 64 seconds to regain their feet and tie another one on…

The ‘CrossBar’ was jumping on opening night, with new friends (and foes) hammering shots, buzzing with new linemates, and generally getting the party started on the Fall 2024 season. Some teams partied harder than others, and some may just want to black out the whole night, but the boozing has just begun, and the strongest livers will deliver the ultimate prize…