League News

Leave a glass of freshly-squeezed OJ alone for some time, and all of the pulp will settle to the bottom. Captain Josh Tran’s ‘Pulp Can Move, Baby’ find themselves embodying their real life counterpart in that regard, while at the same time defying their Seinfeldian namesake. A short-benched 6-4 loss to Yellow has them at 0-3-1, and in desperate need of some ‘movement’ as we arrive at the midway point in the Summer 2023 season.

Captain Ryan Karns’ ‘They’re Teal & They’re Spectacular’ is not just a solid on-theme nod to a famous Seinfeld line about genuine…assets, but also a fitting (just barely…am I right) moniker for a team that has some genuine assets of their own. Teal have been filling out the scoresheet nicely (nine goals in three games), while also keeping things VERY skimpy (two goals allowed). Captain Karns himself had a sweet pair (giggity) of points in a 2-0 win over Grey to keep his team sitting pretty and perky on top…for real.

Captain Tyler Winstead’s Olive has scored SEVENTEEN goals in TWO games thus far this season. I don’t need the record books handy to know that this is a record-shattering pace out of the gate. The veritable scoring bonanza has them sharing the top slot in the standings, and has future opponents wondering just how to slow this unprecedented roll…

Costanza body double and Front Page model Pope is out this week & asked for a sub writing the frontpage and recaps so I’m honored to pirate this ship for a week. After quite possibly the longest season in League history that saw just about everything, it’s only fitting that the Summer Season’s theme revolves around nothing, except the first week DID have a little something – make that a LOT of something – a twine tickling THIRTY EIGHT total goals! Its understandable given the multiple outstanding performances this week to already have Cup favorites, but Championships aren’t won in week one, summer absences have a tendency to tilt the Blue Line, and Captains are working to change defensive strategy to curb your enthusiasm. Which Captain has put together the best Package (S8 E05 for the naive) of enticing picture perfect draft picks that will endure the season and hoist the Cup in the final? As the legendary philosopher Chris Berman always says, “That’s why they play the game”.

Congratulations to the Winter League 2023 Champions, ‘CoCoal Chanel’. BACK ROW L=>R Payam Sazegar (definitely not photoshopped in) Kalen Hunter, Jackson Tomaszewski, Nadia Connolly, Owen Perks, Parsa Mostafavi, Mark Ennsmann FRONT ROW L=>R Ryan Loughran, Chris Tran, Captain Shawna Hamon, Don Tran, Melissa Busby (definitely not photoshopped in).