League News

Captain Ian Crooks’ ‘Midnight Muffin Monsters’ have hit rock bottom after a loss to (previous) dead last denizens, Orange. Honestly, no one wants muffin bottoms…even the hungry and homeless. There is (literally) nowhere to go but up for Black, but with just three weeks of play remaining, and with a big game against ‘Puffy White Shirts’ looming, they will need to find the bran and berries to rise up, or risk hitting the compost pile…

After an 0-2-0 stumble out of the gate, Captain Carl Vankoughnett’s ‘Yellooow, Newman’ have rattled off three straight wins, making them the ‘hottest team in the league’ as we jump over the season hump and into the home stretch.

Leave a glass of freshly-squeezed OJ alone for some time, and all of the pulp will settle to the bottom. Captain Josh Tran’s ‘Pulp Can Move, Baby’ find themselves embodying their real life counterpart in that regard, while at the same time defying their Seinfeldian namesake. A short-benched 6-4 loss to Yellow has them at 0-3-1, and in desperate need of some ‘movement’ as we arrive at the midway point in the Summer 2023 season.

Captain Ryan Karns’ ‘They’re Teal & They’re Spectacular’ is not just a solid on-theme nod to a famous Seinfeld line about genuine…assets, but also a fitting (just barely…am I right) moniker for a team that has some genuine assets of their own. Teal have been filling out the scoresheet nicely (nine goals in three games), while also keeping things VERY skimpy (two goals allowed). Captain Karns himself had a sweet pair (giggity) of points in a 2-0 win over Grey to keep his team sitting pretty and perky on top…for real.

Captain Tyler Winstead’s Olive has scored SEVENTEEN goals in TWO games thus far this season. I don’t need the record books handy to know that this is a record-shattering pace out of the gate. The veritable scoring bonanza has them sharing the top slot in the standings, and has future opponents wondering just how to slow this unprecedented roll…