Serious Jeopardy

Norm Macdonald’s turn on SNL’s sendup of Jeopardy was obviously all for laughs, but Captain Sean Bathgate’s namesake SDFHL bunch had no fun at all in an 7-2 beatdown at the hands of ‘Gilda Redner’, and need to get serious soon, or find themselves the laughing stock of the Summer 2025 playoffs…

Momentum is huge in sports, but it isn’t everything, and the playoffs can be a much needed ‘reset’ for some, and an untimely streak snapper for others. Captain John Boddy’s Pink cruised out to 3-0-0 to open their season, built the rest of their playoff case with a 2-1-0 middle third, then crashed hard and limped to the finish line with three straight losses to fall to the four seed. So, a ‘reset’ was certainly the plan for Pink, while Captain Bao Nguyen’s Green looked to continue their resurgence after entering the playoffs through the front door with a 2-1-0 final swing to push to the middle of the post season pack. Nick Vacchio put Green on top first at 3:07 in the first (Brennen Abel & Steve Goncalo), but Jason Lee drew Pink level on a nifty power play series from Liv Bryant and Geoff Downes at 2:31. Eli Schonbrun put Pink’s ‘reset’ in motion in earnest at 7:23 in the second (Jackson Tomaszewski & Downes), and Downes padded the Pink lead at 5:49 (Lee & Captain Boddy). Abel drew Green back to within one with 2:13 to play in the second (Goncalo), setting up a tight, tense third with Pink hoping to preserve their ‘reset’ and avoid an ‘upset’. Green were only in striking distance of the latter thanks to the heroics of Sean Kelly (23/26) who was (once again) keeping his team in a game in spite of a very lopsided shot count (26-10 in Pink’s favor, at game’s end). Alas for Captain Nguyen & Company, striking distance would be as close as they would get, as Mason Holcomb (8/10) deflected all four shots he faced in the final period to earn a 3-2 win for Pink in a fill-in foray for Will Heinl. The ‘reset’ win has earned Pink a rematch with Neon — a chance to avenge a VERY tough/tight 1-0 Week Nine loss and propel themselves one step closer to the Final in the process. Green will need a regroup/reset of their own now, with bottom seeds Purple lurking in the late game this Sunday.

Much like momentum, playoff seeding is important/telling, but far from a fool-proof predicter of post season performance. Captain Carl Vankoughnett’s ‘CarliforNeons’ had not only the momentum of a three game regular season landing-sticking dismount, but also the glory, prestige, and privilege afforded by a hard-earned top seed on their trophy shelf coming into their playoff opener against Captain Mason Holcomb’s Purple. Purple…losers of their last two to faceplant through the back door to the playoffs as the eighth seed…basically Neon’s polar opposite in terms of mojo and expectation, but…you never know how the playoffs winds will blow. The winds blew tumbleweed through a scoreless first that saw the teams combine for seven shots, but Captain Carl finally broke the scoring seal at 7:52 in the second (Jim LaGrossa & Darin Cerasuolo) to set Neon on their presumed path to victory. Justin Hepler made that presumed path a bit less precarious at 6:42 in the third (LaGrossa), but an odd/fluky Chris Malki shot from range tightened the margin back to one with 5:11 to play (Joe Malki & Steve Linke). Neither Chuck Bender (9/10) nor Captain Holcomb (13/15) were especially taxed in this game, but Neon’s one goal edge forced Holcomb to vacate his net in the waning minutes, leading to a Darin Cerasuolo empty-netter to seal the 3-1 win for Neon (Hepler & Mark Nagy). As noted in the first recap, this result sets up rematch for the ages between Neon and Pink in the Winners’ Bracket, and a fight for playoff life between Green and Purple on the Losers’ side.

Yet another typical metric employed in divining the outcomes of playoff play is, of course, the outcome of the regular season matchup. The outcome of the first Red v Brown throwdown was a resounding/convincing 6-2 victory for Captain Wendy Enright’s Red, and (of course) a deflating/demoralizing 6-2 loss for Captain Sean Bathgate’s Brown. Adding to the impact, the fact that this lopsided first meeting loaf came hot and fresh out of the Week Nine oven. The only glimmer of ‘yeah, but’ for Brown…the absence of both Chris Tran and Mark DeGraffenreid in that regular season finale. With both back in uniform in the post season rematch, and stalwart defender Andy Strathman out of the lineup for Red, Brown had to like their chances of keeping this one close, and possibly even staging the first upset of the Summer League 2025 second season. Nope…hard, loud, booming NOPE! Josh Wirt actually had Brown believing the ‘revenge is a dish…’ angle early, putting Brown in front 1-0 with an impressive effort (Austin Szymanski & Mark DeGraffenreid), but the Red storm started less than a minute later with Jon Zygelman’s counterstrike at 5:45 (Owen Perks & Tim Vick). Super sub Shelby Shattuck made it 2-0 with an unassisted tally at 2:12, and Perks notched the first of his three on the night to make it 3-1 before the first break (Zygelman & Trevor Vick). The second period was all Red, with Tim Vick adding his name to the list of Red scorers at 9:40 (Perks), then Perks piling on his second of the game at 9:05 (Trevor Vick), then sliding home his unassisted hat trick capper at 8:12 to push this one into ‘laugher’ territory at 6-1 through two. Trevor Vick became the fifth Red scorer of the night at 8:40 in the third (Perks & Shattuck), and a late deflection goal for Chris Tran (Mark DeGraffenreid & Josh Wirt) did very little to soften the crushing blow of the instant encore 7-2 blowout win for Red. Perks claimed his second straight POTW crown with a 3 and 3 hammer, as Jon Cima (9/11) earned the win with light effort while Matt Henderson (12/19) bore the brunt of Perks’ brilliance, and Red’s truly impressive offensive array. Captain Enright will be back to enjoy the fun with her fully-fueled friends as Red square off against a tough number two in Baby Blue, while Brown look to avoid playing the clown and going down and out of the playoffs as they fight to right their sinking ship against seventh-seeded Grey.

The Week One nightcap saw the first team to book playoff passage, Captain Rob LaVigne’s Baby Blue, taking on the last team to make the cut, Captain Tyler Winstead’s Grey. Granted, LaVigne & Company shared the Week Six post season confirmation honors with both Pink and Neon, but they were technically the first, due to the order of the schedule that night. Winstead’s crew, meanwhile, laid dead and waiting to be buried for seven weeks of regular season play before rolling away from the edge of the grave and rising to the seventh seed like a zombie in a way-too-farfetched-even-for-a-zombie-flick flick. All consideration of ‘momentum’ and ‘destiny’ aside, it would take an even less believable effort for Grey to topple Baby Blue on this night, especially with Josh Tran out, and Jordan Pynn having given way to the capable, but hardly-Pynn-akin (no one is, to be fair) Mark Daquipa. This tale read as written, but not without Don Tran (31/34) giving his all and then some to subvert the prevailing plot. Tran’s heroism, even if it had risen to the heights of absolutely perfection, would have BARELY been enough to see his team to a win. With three goals allowed, Grey would have needed literal shot perfection to prevail. That’s right, humble reader…Grey scraped together just FOUR shots! Grey mustered period shot totals of ZERO, ONE, and THREE, whilst THIRTY-FOUR shots were fired the other way. It’s a minor miracle that this game was ever in doubt, but Tran kept Baby Blue frustrated through a 12-0 shot first, and only (finally) allowed the first blemish on his sparkling sheet at 1:34 in the second…Arnold Gonzales from Luke Wolmer. Wolmer made it 2-0 at 9:04 in the third (Arnold Gonzales & Kalen Hunter), and an unassisted strike from Captain LaVigne at 6:47 finally saw the score coming into some semblance of mathematically sane sync with the steeply sloped shot count. Distant Don cousin, Chris Tran (3/4), meanwhile, may well have been lulled to sleep at his end by then, and can hardly be blamed for the lone Grey retaliation off Dan Jurgen’s stick with 5:45 to go (Mark Daquipa and…yes, DON TRAN). That’s right, folks…Don added an assist as the cherry on top of his incredible Sunday sundae, but Baby Blue earned just desserts for their dominant performance with a 3-1 win. LaVigne & Company will hope for a cooler opposing crease-minder when they take on Red in a VERY intriguing Week Two matchup, while Don will hope for a more balanced shot count and some actual scoring support as Grey battle with Brown to stay alive on the Losers’ side.

Some move on, and some live in a van ….

Rookie Captain William Teglia and the “Schmidty’s Salty Blue Balls” are joining Nick Meglich’s “Live From 4S, It’s Sunday White” to live in that Van down by the river for the rest of the summer while 8 other lucky teams moved on in search of playoff glory. The Carliforneons edged out MacBlueber for that coveted top playoff seed but it came down to a tie breaker to get there and with an absolute logjam of teams at the top its anyone guess how the playoffs will unfold. One this is for sure though, Carl is very excited for Pope to return from his vacation because when he volunteered to do all this he didn’t realize how much work it all was! Updates tomorrow, I’m going to bed.

Our early game featured an ecstatic Grey (fresh off their dramatic playoff clinching game last week) against Bao Nguyen’s Green who’s victory over Brown cemented them into the middle of the pack. Bao Nguyen’s confidence in his team was on full display as he eventually arrived to the rink mid-way through the first period. Grey started things off early in the first period with Audrey Stratton burying her first career SDFHL goal! CONGRATULATIONS!!! The early goal was followed by another one only a minute later by Josh Tran. Josh had the distinction of wearing one of the largest hats in league history during the game, which would cast a shadow on the hopes of Green as Jenna Chercoe would score her 2nd of the season putting Grey up 3-0 early in the 2nd period. Green would finally get on the board in the 3rd when the man with the perfect smile (Nick Vacchio) would enable Mr. Abel who scored his 10th on the season. Grey would finish things up a few minutes later and end things in a convincing 4-1 victory winning their last 2 games and heading into the playoffs in fine fashion(Especially Josh Tran).

The 5pm game interestly enough matched the colours and vibe of the 1984 WHAM video for “Wake me up“. Both teams securely in the playoffs were in a tough battle to try and capture that top seed. Eli Schonbrun was looking to extend his scoring streak after a strong performane in week 8 with two goals, meanwhile Neons rookie Darin Cerasuolo and the not even remotely close or in the same universe as being a rookie Pat Gladstone were both looking to extend streaks of their own. Other than the colourful shirts and Pat Gladstone’s putting Geoff Downes down it was a defensive battle from beginning to end. Chuck Bender and Will Heinl (First and 2nd Stars of the game) shut everyone down in a very low scoring game. The lone goal scored by youngster Darin Cerasuolo was assisted by Justin Hepler and Pat Gladstone (“The Hepstones”) which put Neon up 1-0 heading into the 3rd period. With the goalie pulled and a flurry of shots towards the end Chuck Bender held off Pink’s Jon Boddy and company and lead his team to victory which allowed Neon to head into the playoffs on a high note after a win in a VERY competitive game.

The 6pm game battle between Rob Lavigne’s Baby Blue and Mason Holcom’s Purple would have included famed POTW Chris Tran but playing 4 games last week must have been too much for him because he’s taking a break this week. Meanwhile Purple (who were missing half their team last week) are probably still recovering from the exhaustion of it all. Baby Blue are hoping to clinch that first overall spot which could mean this game is a preview of a first round playoff match up! Will Heinl a 2nd star as goalie the game before, scored early in the first from Arnold Gonzales to put Blue up and not even a minute later captain Rob Lavigne (despite an undisclosed lower body injury) netted one to put Baby Blue up 2-0. The MacBlueber women have built a 2 game penalty streak, last week TK Mason took her first penalty of the year and not to be outdone Leah Gonzales kept the streak alive by taking her first of the year and added an assist to boot. This one was all MacBlueber from beginning to end with a solid 4-0 win over the Eggplant’s In A Box and a good team victory as they move into the playoffs as one of the teams favoured to win it all.

With their victory over Pink last week, Captain Wendy Enrights Gilda Redners have positioned themselves to finish tops in the league.  Sitting just one point back of 1st place a victory this week could catapult them over multiple teams and into first heading into the playoffs.  Captain Sean Bathgates Brown look to rebound from last weeks loss to Green, the summer attendance plague struck brown last week but a victory over a top team like Red may build some confidence for them heading into the post season but with both Pope and Chris Tran (of Week 8 POTW game) absent this week it would be a tall order when facing the full fury of Red.  No scoring until later in the first period when Owen Perks and Trevor Vick combined for 4 unanswered goals. Brown wouldn’t have an answer until late in the 2nd when Erin Plone scored her 2nd from Joel Gattey but it would only take 19 seconds for Red to answer back, this time the resurging Jon Zygelman(Who is already complaining he is going to get drafted too early next year).  Red would finish with the 6-2 victory and finish 3rd in the regular season and looking very strong headed into the playoffs.

In the battle for the wooden spoon, Captain William Teglia and Captain Nick Meglich faced off in the final game of the night and the regular season. Captain Teglia’s team played with a short bench for so much of the season that they could have considered renaming the team to “Schmidty’s Schweddy Balls”. Catain Meglich’s “Live From 4S, It’s Sunday White!” came into the game tied with blue which meant the game did have some significance with both teams trying to avoid that last place finish. It would be rookie Captain Teglia himself to open up the scoring early in the first period in a mother-son effort with Janet Goins picking up an assist as well as Jason Northrup. The mother-son duo would once again combine to feed Jon Salt late in the 1st period to move the Blue Balls into a 2-0 lead. Janice Darlington would score her first of the season to move White within 1 (Assisted by Vance). That was as close as White could get though with Brendan Jew adding an insurance goal with assists from Jon Salt and Chad Goins(To make the hat trick of family members).

And just like that regular season ends and the playoffs begin, Pope returns Thursday so I will be relegated to ball boy once again. The Captains all have the playoff game times, Pope will update the schedule on Thursday or Friday with scorekeeper assignments and refs.

For whom the cowbell tolls…

The only drama rivalling the Coldplay kiss cam scandal is that of the SDFHL three-way race for the playoffs battle between Tyler Winstead “It’s Not Grey In A Three Way”, William Teglias “Schmidty’s Salty Blue Balls ” and Nick Meglichs “Live From 4S, It’s Sunday White!”. All 3 teams have been hit hard by the summer attendance curse but going into Sundays games they all still have a legitimate shot at that coveted last spot!!! Who will make the cut, and who will take the 6 week holiday is anyone’s guess……

First game of the day featured a surging Brown(4-3) vs a leafy Green(3-3-1). A win for Captain Bathgates Brown would gain them ground on Red while Captain Bao Nguyens Green only needed 1 point to clinch their playoff birth. Despite the lopsided shots on goal, it was an understaffed Brown to strike first with Josh Wirt beating Matt Henderson late in the first period. But that was it for Brown. Thats when the man with the perfect smile took over, Nick Vacchio scoring first at 8:40 in the 2nd assisted by young Canuck Brennen Abel and power forward Sadie Hellstrom. Vacchio would then get his 2nd of the game only a few minutes later unassisted at 3:18 that ended up being the game winner and playoff clincher for Green.

The 5pm game featured Pink who are currently in the three-way tie at the top of the standings and Red a mere 1 point behind. Red have been helped by the resurgence of Jon Zygelman as well as offensive juggernaut Owen Perks and point per game high schooler Trevor Vick. Papi Tim Vick (despite his very limited skill and hockey sense) is having a career season in assists! Captain Boddy has been leading by example though sitting at the top of the scoring race with a massive 17 points. A bit of controversy before this game even began after a clerical error resulted in Red not having a goalie. A last minute fill in by our POTW Chris Tran would change the dynamic of the game. After a scoreless first period, Pink started the scoring early in the 2nd with Jason Lee scoring his 2nd of the year from Erin Plone and Parsa. Young Canuck Owen Perks would respond a few minutes later followed by an unassisted goal from Trevor Vick. The teams would trade goals until the 3rd when POTW nominee Owen Perks got his 2nd of the night that would move Red ahead for good. Perks finished off the hat trick with a few seconds remaining to lift Red over Pink in a game that had enormous playoff seeding implications.

Game three is where things really start to matter. Rob Lavignes Baby Blue vs Nick Meglich’s White. Baby Blue are deep in the hunt for the top spot and top playoff seed while White are battling to make the cut. Bryan Ossa going down to injury as well as Rob Lavinge’s “Undisclosed lower body injury” are cause of some concern for Captain Lavigne however Baby Blue are fortunately still one of the speediest teams in the league. This game started off with very stingy defence on both sides. The only real highlight of the first two periods was TK Mason taking her first Penalty of the year with only 41 seconds left in the 2nd period. It would be Captain Lavignve though at 3:19 in the 3rd who would seal the fate of a very forgettable season by Captain Nick Meglichs White. The win keeping Baby Blue in that race for the first spot and top seed in a very competitive race. White now have a an incredibly important game against their arch rival Dark Blue in the battle for the Wooden Spoon with both teams wanting to avoid that last place finish.

And then we have the 7pm game of Grey vs Purple. This is where the drama really begins, this is the CEO and the Head of HR Coldplay moment. With the huge win last week Rookie Captain Mason Holocombs Purple moved themselves out of the cellar but not out of danger. Grey with 4 points are still in total control of their playoff future and with both teams missing key players its anyones game to win or lose. In perhaps the most lopsided game of the entire season unassisted goals by former Blackburn Stinger Jordan Pynn and Josh Tran lifted Grey past an absolutely exhausted Purple who were missing their entire first line including last weeks POTW Shawna Hamon. The win was enromous because it clinched the playoff sport for Grey relegating both White and Dark Blue to the basement and the golf course. Because both White and Dark Blue lost it also clinched for Purple. It was yet another win for this weeks POTW Chris Tran, but in this one he didnt really have to do much because he didn’t face his first shot until the end of the 2nd period.

Rookie Captain William Teglias “Schmidty’s Salty Blue Balls” may not lead the league in points, however they definately lead the league in absenses with a combined 19 missed games this season. Silas “The Silencer” Perks has faced a league high average of 31 shots against him in his 5 games and has still managed to finish 3rd in his Save % this season which is insane. With a Grey victory Dark Blue required wins in both this weeks game as well as next weeks game to even have a chance for playoff glory. The game remained scoreless through almost the entire first period until Neon got a quick one, only to have Jon Salt score 4 seconds later to make it 1-1 after 1. Enter rookie sensation Darin Cerasuolo. The youngster would score 3 unanswered goals on the silencer moving Neon up 4-1, Justin “The Albatross” Hepler added a goal of his own and two more assists to add to Neons total. Tony Thinh Scored a nice goal on a pass from Jon Salt in the dying minutes, but it was too little too late as Neon won in convincing style 7-2 heading into a game against arch rival Pink which will could determine the top seed heading into the playoffs.

Surprise!

Captain Mason Holcomb’s ‘Eggplant In A Box’ significantly grew their playoff chances in Week Seven. A two game losing streak had them hanging limp down by the cut line, but hard times call for hard solutions, and Purple have now erected a strong second season case after a shocking 4-0 pounding of the Pink…

A rousing 5-3 Week Four win over Brown had Captain William Teglia’s Royal Blue (finally) in the win column, and (presumably) proved that a playoff pulse was present with plenty of points still possible in the pending pentad of play dates. Tough, tight losses to Red (2-1) and Pink (3-2) in the ensuing weeks made the big win over Brown feel much more like a death rattle than a rallying point, and the ‘Salt Scores, Silas Saves’ strategy that seemed so sound from the start was now strained to the point of snapping. Still, a second win in Week Seven over Captain Bao Nguyen’s Green would bring Royal Blue back into the thick of the playoff pack, and leave them with a considerably improved projection and sense of purpose heading into the final two weeks of play. Green came in on a two game slide of their own, having lost 6-3 to Pink in Week Five, then 2-1 to Baby Blue in Week Six…a game that should have been a blowout, and would have been a blowout with anyone but an absolutely possessed Sean Kelly in nets (37/39). So, two teams in increasing need of a course correction, two of the top goal scorers in the league in Brennen Abel (8) and Jon Salt (8), and a goalie matchup for the ages with ‘Da Kid’™ opposite ‘The Silencer’™…GO! You can’t spell ‘Goncalo’ without ‘GO’, and the veteran forward (and Pope stunt double) put Green in front at 1:01 in the first. Brennen Abel doubled Green’s lead with a gut punch goal with just four ticks remaining in the first (Captain Nguyen)…the required (and usually rewarding) second strike against The Silencer™. The rare (and often required) third strike against The Silencer™ came at 2:32 in the second, with Goncalo pumping home another unassisted belt notch to push Green to a 3-0 lead. Gordon Schmidt finally answered for Royal Blue less than two minutes later, but with the shot count at 21-9 in Green’s favor through two, and a keyed up Kelly keeping the crease at the other end, it would take more than a shake of Salt to save Royal Blue from a third straight loss. That shake would come, with Salt cutting the lead to one with 3:42 to play (Tony Thinh & Captain Teglia), but Da Kid™ (17/19) would hold on to outduel The Silencer™ (30/33) in an important 3-2 win for Green, and an equally devastating loss for Royal Blue. The win moves Captain Nguyen’s Green to 3-3-1, and finds them tucked cozily in the middle of the pack and almost (actually, quite likely definitely) in playoff position with remaining games against a resurgent Brown (4-3-0) and a gasping Grey (1-4-2). Captain Teglia & Company will either need to find more ‘secondary scoring’ (Salt accounts for 9/15 team goals, with one of the remaining six goals coming courtesy of super sub, Jenna Chercoe), or hope that the ‘Salt Scores, Silas Saves’ strategy will pay off when it counts with a gnarly 5-2-0 Neon up next, and a down and desperate White waiting in Week Nine.

Said ‘down and desperate’ White was next to take a turn at trying to turn their trajectory, coming into their match against Captain Wendy Enright’s ‘Gilda Redner’ at a woeful and wanting 1-4-1. That’s a tough record through any lens, but White could either choose to take hope or lose heart in just how close each of those four losses were to a productive point (or two) in the standings. Week One…a 2-0 loss to Purple with Jerry Gonzales out of the lineup. Week Two…a 3-2 loss to a potent Pink, with Boddy’s game-winner coming with 3:05 to play. Week Three…a 4-1 loss to Green…obviously overmatched in this one. Week Four…a 2-2 tie with Grey. Week Five…a stunning 3-2 coup over Neon. Week Six…a rollercoaster 4-3 loss to Brown. So, one tie, one narrow win, and three narrow losses, but never ‘enough’ to string together positive results and paste together a playoff push…probably not the best Sunday to face a peaking, Perks-powered Red. Enright & Company came in riding a 2-0-1 streak, having improved their overall record to 3-2-1 after a slow start, and with perfect attendance and eyes on the punched playoff ticket prize, it would take all the heroics Captain Meglich could muster, a few timely strikes, and perhaps a little luck for White to survive against the heavy favorites. Trevor Vick wasted little time putting Red in front, sending his second of the season home at 8:23 (Captain Enright & Tim Vick) just 0:13 prior to being whistled for the rarest of minor penalties…carrying two sticks. It was Andy Strathman whose stick Vick was (innocently and thoughtfully) retrieving back in the first, and Strathman’s stick (now in full control of its owner) doing the damage on the powerplay at 1:18 (Jon Zygelman & Owen Perks) with a shelf snipe from the point to make it 2-0 Red through two. Captain Meglich was almost certainly reminding his team during the second intermission that this game was still very much in reach, and even very much more vital to their season survival. Meglich’s mates, sappy sports movie lovers, and long shot bettors with big money on White could hope for a third period rally, but statistics can be sobering, and with just eleven goals to show for twenty periods of play, the odds of White churning out two to tie or three to top in ten minutes of play were, well…very long. Jon Zygelman made those long odds even longer at 8:20 (Perks & Strathman), and when Payam Sazegar scores his second career goal in 107 career games, you know your coffin is well and truly nailed shut. Sazegar’s goal was a pretty one, for sure, completing a nifty tic-tac-toe combo from Zygelman and Perks at 2:59 to build Red’s lead to four. Trevor Vick would then close the scoring that he opened back in the first, recording his second of the game and third of the season at 1:49 (Papa Vick & Captain Enright) to cap a convincing 5-0 Red win, and leave White lurching into the final two weeks of play in near-literal ‘must win’ mode. As seems to often be the case, Jon Cima (7/7) had a damn-near-relaxing ride to his fourth win of the season, while Captain Meglich (21/26) was very overworked and (obviously) under-supported in a fifth loss the finds White just steps from the playoff scrap heap. This Sunday could very well see White slide still closer to a bitter end, with Captain Rob LaVigne’s 5-2-0 Baby Blue waiting to lay waste to a lame and limping opponent. Amazingly enough, a sixth loss would not eliminate Meglich & Company, with both Royal Blue and Grey still wallowing nearby, and the former on the schedule for the final game of the season…you just have to love the SDFHL schedule gods.

After an inspired (and surprising) 3-0 first win of their season over previously-unbeaten Baby Blue in Week Three, Captain Sean Bathgate’s Brown fell back down with an equally surprising loss to previously-winless Royal Blue in Week Four. Taking solace from the fact that they had already faced the league’s top three teams in Pink, Neon, and Baby Blue, Bathgate & Company looked to mount a midseason rise to playoff safety. Wins over Purple and White had their record even at 3-3-0, and had them poised to put the finishing touches on their playoff security in a Week Seven showdown with Captain Tyler Winstead’s Grey. A lack of scoring punch to the tune of just eight goals in the six games coming in was clearly the primary root of Grey’s 1-3-2 start, with a tie for third worst goals against (18) serving as the yucky yin to that yucky yang (yes, I get that yin and yang are supposed to be diametric opposites…save it). The good news for Winstead & Company was that the team sharing that third worst goals against was warming up across from them as the two sides prepared for the Week Seven middle game. A scoreless first bled into a strange second, with both teams controlling the ball in the offensive zone for minutes at a time. One particular such push for Brown lasted OVER FOUR MINUTES! Somewhere in that feast or famine chaos, a Mark DeGraffenreid (slow and steady) point shot found twine behind Don Tran to finally break the scoring seal and give Brown a 1-0 lead (7:29 from Chris Tran and Josh Wirt). With the shot totals in near lock step, and the zone/possession time tipping back and forth wildly, it was definitely ‘anyone’s game’ going into the third. Erin Plone decided she’d like to be that ‘anyone’, persisting on a rebound series in front at 6:26 (Josh Wirt & John Kushneryk) to cash in her first of the season and lower the collective pulse of her Brown mates. The clock wound ever onward in Brown’s favor, and a Wirt’s league-leading tenth of the season off a steal/breakaway with 0:41 would put the game out of reach for good for Grey. While the rest of the Brown bench was happy to be locked in for the win, Wirt decided to pull the ultimate hockey jinx no-no and state (out loud) ‘let’s get the shutout’…Jordan Pynn from Captain Winstead and Josh Tran maybe ten seconds later at 0:07….bruh! Matt Henderson (18/19) was his standard sharp self in the 3-1 Brown win, which (along with other results on the evening) officially locks Bathgate’s Bunch into August play. Don Tran (17/20) shouldered another Grey loss that drops them to 1-4-2, JUST above the cut line with two games to play. Amazingly enough, just one win in their final two games (Week Eight against Purple, then Week Nine against Green) may be enough to book playoff passage for Grey, but even two losses would not necessarily eliminate them! If Grey, Royal Blue, and White all lose this Sunday, and Grey loses and Royal Blue and White tie in Week Nine, we would have three teams at 1-6-2…with only ties between all three teams head to head! That would drop us all the way to the ‘goal differential’ tie breaker, which currently favors Royal Blue (-7), followed by White (-11), then Grey (-12). Of course, that combination of losses and a tie is not super likely but…intriguing, none the less. At 4-3-0, Brown have only improved playoff seeding on their agenda as they face off against Green this Sunday, and Red the following.

The penultimate Week Seven match was one of power on power, with Captain Carl Vankoughnett’s 4-2-0 Neon taking on Captain Rob LaVigne’s 5-1-0 Baby Blue. With Captain LaVigne himself out of the lineup with an undisclosed lower body injury (well, I supposed I just disclosed it), and a surprisingly stat-tacular Bryan Ossa (4 and 2) on the shelf for the remainder of the season, Neon were seen as slight favorites in this one. Ryan Karns’ absence tipped things back Baby Blue’s way a skosh, but the return of Neon’s true superstar, Pat Gladstone, was more than enough to make up the difference. Obviously, neither team had any more in this game beyond bragging rights and playoff posturing, but it is always good to ‘measure’ your team against other strong teams, especially in Neon’s case. Their two losses this season came back-to-back coming into Week Seven — a pair of 3-2 losses to two of the lowest teams in the league. Those two straight Neon losses stood as the only win on the season for both White and Grey, and served as notice to Vankoughnett & Company to respect and be fully prepared for any opponent, regardless of records/expected outcomes. Will Heinl was first to act, completing a series from Kevin Hunter and Gary Peters to give Baby Blue the lead at 4:32 in the first. Young super stud, Darin Cerasuolo, was quick to respond, leveling the ledger just nineteen seconds later (Mary Nagy) with his sixth of the season. Luke Wolmer would restore the Baby Blue lead at 7:51 in the second (Leah Gonzales & Heinl), but the rest of that middle stanza belonged entirely to Neon. Justin ‘The Albatross’™ Hepler tied the score with his fourth of the season (Nagy), Captain Vankoughnett gave Neon their first lead of the game at 4:14, and Jim LaGrossa’s second of the season with 1:32 to play iced a big bounce back 4-2 win for Neon, drawing them level with their fallen rivals atop the standings at 5-2-0. The loss is the first of the season for Chris Tran (16/20), with Baby Blue’s only other loss coming against…Chris Tran and Brown 🙂 Chuck Bender (11/13) and Neon steady themselves with the win, and keep themselves in prime position to capture the top seed going into the final weeks of play. Vankoughnett & Company share first place with Baby Blue, whom they have just beaten (if you have any measure of reading comprehension at all) and Pink, whom they will face in their regular season finale. Baby Blue warp their season against a woeful (but…super desperate) White, then a mid AF (as the kids say) Purple. So, a chance to play spoiler, and a definite chance at that top spot for LaVigne & Company, but they will be rooting for Pink against Neon, having beaten the former and now lost to the latter.

With Parkageddon™ in full swing earlier in the slate thanks to the 500th youth soccer tournament of the year, games were running well behind by the time the ball dropped on the nightcap between Captain Mason Holcomb’s Purple, and Captain John Boddy’s Pink. Pink came in riding high at 5-1-0, but with Captain Boddy out of the lineup, and all of the major weapons and defenses in place for Purple, this game had a decent level of upset potential. Slowing the roll on that storyline considerably was the fact that Holcomb & Company came into Week Seven play as THE coldest team in the league. Three consecutive losses (2-1 to Neon, 4-1 to Brown, and 3-2 to Red) had shifted Purple from 2-1-0 to 2-4-0, and a fourth straight L would keep them in cut line peril with just four points going into the final two weeks of play. Chris Malki put the redemption plan in motion with his second of the season at 2:10 in the first (Shawna Hamon) and a scoreless second meant that his goal would remain alone and lonely into a winner take all third. Pink can typically rely on plenty of ‘secondary scoring’, with Jackson Tomaszewski (5 and 8) and Geoff Downes (5 and 3) as the likeliest sources, but those sources could not find a way to produce in their captain’s absence, and Purple capitalized with some ‘secondary scoring’ of their own in the third. Zach Siemer’s third of the season finally gave Purple some breathing room with 8:00 to play (Chris Malki), and Shawna Hamon snatched POTW honors with her first of the season at 3:10 (Steve Linke and Joe Malki), then her second of the game/season into an empty net at 1:00 (Chris Malki). Hamon’s 2 and 1 turn, combined with Captain Holcomb’s 16/16 sparkler meant a huge 4-0 upset win for Purple, moving them to six points and relative playoff safety going into late July. The loss was just Pink’s second of the season, and the first on the season for Will Heinl (17/20). As with Chris Tran, his team’s only prior loss came at the hands of his ‘other team’ (although, Will was not in the lineup for either team in that Week Four matchup). Holcomb & Company will hope to avoid the same upset fate that they dished out to Pink when they meet with Grey this Sunday. A win would put them in, while a loss would leave them in a dangerous position, especially given that Baby Blue await them on July 27th. The loss is of little real concern for Pink, especially with the asterisk provided by the absence of their super star captain. A missed opportunity to regain sole possession of first place, and slightly dampened hopes to end up on the top of the pile come month’s end are about the extent of the damage to what is still a clear Cup contender.

Folks…I am out on vacation through the end of the month. Carl has graciously volunteered to handle all of my web site and Thursday Night Hockey duties. Please contact him with any questions/complaints/kudos…I will see you all in August!

Low Hanging

Captain William Teglia’s ‘Schmidty’s Salty Blue Balls‘ are holding truer to the last part of their name than they would like through six weeks of play. The ‘Balls’ are ‘scoring’ at a middle-of-the-pack rate, but their 1-4-1 record reflects that they are certainly not ‘closing the deal’/’getting lucky’. Royal Blue will need to tighten up, start producing, and find some real release in their final three games, or it will be *snip snip*…out of the playoff picture.

As we begin our gentle slope into the playoffs, a subset of teams scramble to stay clear of the cut line cliff. While no teams are in ‘must win’ mode just yet, the matchups in the middle ground of the standings take on almost as much meaning as those in the dreary depths. Captain Wendy Enright’s Red came into Week Six on an upward swing, having tied Green in Week Four, and beaten Royal Blue in Week Five to finally even their record at 2-2-1. Captain Mason Holcomb’s Purple, by contrast, were on the down escalator, with losses to Neon and Brown dropping them to 2-3-0. So, the second half of the season kicked off with one team looking to continue their upward momentum, and the other looking to arrest their fall. Andy Strathman had Red on the front foot first with his first (!) goal and first (!) point of the season at 5:13 (Jon Zygelman), but Joe Malki provided an unassisted answer less than a minute later. In an eerie coincidence, 5:13 would also be the time of the first goal in the second period, with Dorothy Kline’s first (!) goal/point of the season (Tim Vick & Trevor Vick) wresting the lead back for Red before Joe Malki (this time a little over a minute later) responded (Chris Malki & Shawna Hamon). Trevor Vick kept the back and forth scoring pattern going with his first (!) of the season at 1:57 in the second (Tim Vick & Payam Sazegar), but that is where the pattern would abruptly come to an end. Jon Cima (17/19) made his team’s three tallies stand with a perfect 8/8 third in Red’s 3-2 win, while Captain Holcomb’s perfect 7/7 third (in a valiant 17/20 effort) could not save Purple from a third straight loss. The win propels Red into the top half of the standings at 3-2-1, and with the 1-4-1 White up next, they may well punch their playoff ticket this Sunday. Purple’s road is considerably rockier, with powerhouse Pink up next. A fourth straight loss, combined with a win for either White or Royal Blue, would plant Purple below the cut line with just two games to go.

Captain Sean Bathgate’s ‘Turd Burgenson’ were circling the bowl after a tough opening pair of opponents in Pink (6-2 loss) and Neon (3-1 loss) had wiped out their first two efforts, but had since mustered wins over Baby Blue and Purple to arrive at Week Six at 2-3-0. The only unaccounted for loss in the previous sentence…a disastrous Week Four flushing at the hands of then-winless Royal Blue. A loss like that certainly saps the expected confidence a team would/should have against other struggling teams, and Captain Nick Meglich’s White certainly falls into the ‘struggling team’ category. Coming in at 1-3-1, White were as close as any team to ‘must win’ country to start the second stretch of the season, but a win over Brown would move them above the cut line, and indeed above Brown with three weeks to play. Rob Gaudio put White on the path to realizing that rally to redemption, notching his second of the season just 0:36 in (Eric Willard & Maureen Ruchhoeft), but Mark DeGraffenreid equalized at 5:32, completing a nifty passing chain from Captain Bathgate to Austin Szymanski. The gorgeous backdoor feed was Szymanski’s first SDFHL point…CONGRATULATIONS, Austin! The intensity remained high in the second, though the shot counts (a mere 4-2, in Brown’s favor) were meager, and the scoring stripped down to a single strike…a sweet and subtle five hole tip on a centering feed for super sub, Hima Joshi. Marc Lapointe was the primary on the Joshi goal (Chris Tran the second), with his yeoman forechecking efforts leading to a hard-fought 2-1 Brown lead going into the third. The shots and scoring ratcheted up in a wacky final period, with Chris Tran padding Brown’s lead at 4:39 (Erin Plone), then tucking home and empty-netter (Mark DeGraffenreid)…the presumptive deal-sealer to make it 4-1. Jerry Gonzales had other ideas, cashing in at 1:04 (Gaudio), then 0:36 (Vance Morra) to cut the lead back to one and leave the Brown bench stunned and sweating to the final buzzer. That final buzzer did come with no further heroics, however, with Mason Holcomb (11/14) preserving a vital 4-3 win for Brown in Matt Henderson’s absence. Captain Meglich was also absent, but Will Heinl (20/23) was his more than capable stand-in in the losing effort. The win has Brown level at 3-3-0…smack in the middle of the standings going into the final third of the season. They hope to keep their distance from the likes of their next opponent, the 1-3-2 Grey, and push closer to a playoff perch in the process. White will need to start their playoff push in earnest this Sunday, as Captain Meglich returns to lead his team against a resurgent Red.

‘MacBlueber’ made the front page in Week One, after pulling off an incredible 2-1 coup at Red’s expense, in spite of being outshot 34-12, and in spite of the absence of their top two offensive weapons in Kalen Hunter and Luke Wolmer. Captain Rob LaVigne & Company have continued to strut through the summer season after that stunning start, even toppling the seemingly untoppleable Pink in Week Four after suffering their own (and only) shocking loss to Brown the week prior. Their 4-1-0 mark coming into their Week Six middle match with Captain Bao Nguyen’s 2-2-1 Green was good for a share of first place, and having already vanquished one of those shareholders (Pink), really anything but a loss would make them the first team to punch a playoff ticket. Green’s last outing was a 6-3 loss to said supercharged shareholder (Pink), and the Week Six hope was not just a bounce back, but a big win over a clear Cup favorite to make a strong statement, push into the lead pack, and draw closer to a playoff berth of their own. Four small problems fulfilling that hope…the absences of Brennen Abel, Dave Bourgouin, Mostafa Azab, and Nick Vacchio. So…short bench and long odds for Green, but…you never know. The favorites came out firing in this one, with Baby Blue outshooting Green by a 10-2 margin, but Sean Kelly was absolutely on another planet in another solar system somewhere in the Amazeballs Galaxy in this one. Will Heinl did manage to find a sliver of space (Amazeballs Galaxy callback, for the win) to slide home the first goal of the game for Baby Blue at 7:38 (Captain LaVigne), but that would be all Kelly would allow through that 10-2 first, and the FIFTEEN TO ZERO period to follow. I repeat/clarify…Baby Blue racked up fifteen shots in the second to Green’s zero…and yet this remained a 1-0 game going into the third. LaVigne & Company had to be feeling confident going into that third, but might also have felt a tinge of fear that they could have a much-deserved win snatched from them, just as they had snatched a much-deserved win from Red in their season debut. Luke Wolmer finally provided an opportunity for a collective Baby Blue exhale with 3:38 to play (Gary Peters & Kalen Hunter), and while the lopsided shot count continued (14-2 for Baby Blue), one of those two Green shots did find twine at 0:05…Steve Goncalo (Captain Nguyen). When the dust (mainly from the relentless flurry of Baby Blue shots) settled, Chris Tran (3/4) would collect his team’s fifth win…perhaps the easiest of his career…2-1 over Green. At the other end…an absolutely ridiculous 37/39 museum piece from Sean ‘Da Kid’ Kelly…probably one of the most heartbreaking regular season losses of his storied career. The win, combined with other Week Six results, locked Baby Blue is as the first official playoff participant. Their Week Seven opponent, Neon, will likely be the last true challenge to their quest to finish at the top of the pack. Green, meanwhile, remain in stable playoff condition in spite of the loss, especially given that two of their remaining three opponents, Royal Blue and Grey, are below them in the standings, with each having managed just one win to this point in the season.

Very much unlike their lighter blue brethren, Captain William Teglia’s Royal Blue have finally made the front page…for all the wrong reasons. With White’s loss earlier in the evening dropping them 1-4-1, the cellar door was ajar and ready to be kicked open. A win would allow Teglia & Company to cross to the safe side of the cut line threshold, and improve their record to 2-3-1 in the leadup to their Week Seven matchup with a 2-3-1 Green. In short, this was THE chance to turn everything around…they just needed to climb the stairs to that door and…SLAM! I forgot to mention that Captain John Boddy’s Pink was guarding that door, and while already sitting pretty at 4-1-0, Pink was pumped and primed to keep pace with Baby Blue in the race to the top seed. Jackson Tomaszewski put Pink on top first with his fourth of the season at 2:21 (Ryan Loughran & Captain Boddy), but Jon Salt answered on the power play at 0:40 with his nearly-league-leading eighth (Janet Goins). It was all Pink in the middle frame, with Tomaszewski snapping home his second of the game at 8:25 (Elyse Shattuck), and Geoff Downes adding some padding at 3:59 (Loughran & Tomaszewski). You’re (almost) always in a game with Silas ‘The Silencer’™ Perks as your last line of defense, and even with a lopsided shot ledger (28-11 in Pink’s favor from start to finish), and a short bench (Captain Teglia, Gordon Schmidt, Jason Northrup, and Steph Palomo Schmidt all out), Royal Blue still had a chance to rescue at least a point with ten minutes to play. Enter our POTW, newcomer Jenna Chercoe. Chercoe was still in search of her first career SDFHL point, and having that first point come in the form of a goal would be golden. Lo and behold…Jenna Chercoe at 8:36 in the third from Brendan Jew and Jon Salt…CONGRATU…wait…Jenna was serving as a sub for Steph…so while her goal would bring Royal Blue a step closer in a rally to tie, it would not actually count as her first career goal…*sad trombone*. Still, with plenty of time left on the clock, Royal Blue were still in it to win it against a powerhouse Pink…until that ‘plenty of time’ became ‘a few minutes’, then a ‘few seconds’, then…buzzer. Will Heinl (9/11) would hold on to seal Royal Blue’s losing fate, 3-2, while ‘The Silencer’™ (25/28) was left making plans to meet up with Sean Kelly at the local chapter of the Lack Of Goal Support Support Group™. The win books playoff passage for Pink, and drops Royal Blue to 1-4-1. A win over Green this Sunday is now as close to a must as it gets (without being a true ‘must’). A nasty Neon waits for Teglia’s crew in Week Eight, and (as the SDFHL fates always have it) the final game of the final week of play will be Royal Blue v White…the two current cellar dwellers. Either (or both) teams may still have a shot to survive at that point, but they will both need points between now and then or the point will be moot.

Jenna Chercoe scored ‘her first career SDFHL’ goal in a sub role for Royal Blue, but of course that *sad trombone* signaled that ‘sub goals do not count toward career numbers’. No one likes a sad trombone, but Jenna apparently hates them. Just TWELVE seconds into the nightcap, with Chercoe and her Grey mates desperate for their first win of the season against a very tough Neon side…BANG…*happy trombone*! It’s comical, if you imagine that someone tapped Chercoe on the shoulder to inform her that her goal for Royal Blue would ‘not count’…then she dons the shirt for her true team, scores a ‘true’ goal, and struts off with a ‘count THAT’ expression on her face. That’s how I want to imagine it all unfolding, but I am sure Chercoe was much more demure (as the kids say) about the milestone strike to put Grey in front at 9:48 (Josh Tran). However it went down…CONGRATULATIONS, JENNA! It should be noted that this was the first lead of the season for Grey! Captain Winstead was so inspired that he followed with his first of the season at 5:12 (Jeremy Copp) to double that lead and send shockwaves through Neon’s ranks. After all, Captain Carl Vankoughnett’s Neon came in as heavy favorites at 4-1-0, and with the return of ‘The Albatross’, Justin Hepler, all of the smart money was on the (considerably) brighter clad brigade. Hepler did answer for Neon later in the first…JUST beating out the final tick of the clock to cut the lead back to one with a gut punch goal at 0:01 (Captain Vankoughnett & Ryan Karns). Jordan Pynn lit the lone lamp in the second, converting at 2:36 (Mark Scelfo & Dan Jurgens) to restore Grey’s two goal edge, and check off another modest milestone…the first time Grey had managed to score more than two goals in a single game. Neon pushed back hard in the third, racking up a 9-1 edge in shots en route to a 28-12 show of shot dominance, but alas…in the absence of their true superstar, one Patricia H Gladstone, the most Neon could muster in the way of response was a solitary strike from the stick of rookie sensation, Darin Cerasuolo. DC’s fifth of the season (Hepler) came at 5:48, but Don Tran (26/28) would finally get the offensive support he needed to lock in a Grey win…a massive 3-2 coup over Neon. Chuck Bender (9/12) shouldered just his second loss in six tries, but now at 4-2-0, Neon are still a virtual playoff lock with three games to go. They do face two titans in their final stretch in Baby Blue and Pink, with a desperate and potentially dangerous Royal Blue in that mix, as well. Grey can only bask in the glow of their first win for so long…they still have a lot of work left to do to make safely into August play, with three tough, but beatable teams remaining on their slate in Brown, Purple, and Green.