League News

No one does murder like OJ. Double murder…OJ’s got you covered. After nearly decapitating Blue 7-1, Captain Gattey’s ‘GO, OJ, GO!’ slashed through and cast aside Green, 5-2. Police have identified two primary suspects in the crime…Eric Herrmann, and David Schlatter. The two are charged with TEN counts of aggravated goal scoring, and SIX counts of accessory to murder in the past two games alone! IF they did it, well…all heinous criminality aside…that’s some impressive slicing and dicing!

Captain Steph Palomo Schmidt’s ‘Pearl Chen’s Summer Tour’ has hit rock bottom, as every team in the league currently has them in their rear view mirror (reference check). A win over Blue in Week Four had the band amped (*rim shot*), and with every team technically making the playoffs, White is still very much alive (reference check), but their season will fade to black (reference check) quickly if they can’t win more than once (reference check) in five tries…

Captain Jon Salt’s ‘Fembots’ held no power over Grey in their season opener, but have since wiled their way to a 2-0-1 mark to move into a share of the top spot in the standings. Salt has personally account for half of his team’s twelve tallies to this point, and Sean Kelly is as groovy as ever with a .910/1.75. We’re halfway to the final shag-off…keep a close eye on these poison pretties…

Eric Willard got Lime, and his POTW campaign, off on the right foot early in the first, and doubled the damage late in the second. Meanwhile, Alex Theis made a […]

Captain Chad Goins & ‘Hakuna Mostafa’ are not feeling much love through the first two weeks of play, coming in like a lamb with a lopsided Week One loss, and a (misfortune-aided) close-but-not-quite meeting with ‘the other blue’ in Week Two. This season is expected to be wide open and a bit wacky, and even the lowliest team has a chance for last minute redemption, but…the pride still stings with every loss (see what I did there…pride…lions…fuck, I am so awesome)…