League News

‘The Grape Ones’ moved north of the playoff border in Week Seven after mounting a big second period to push past the ‘Mounties’. Meanwhile, Gold is still struggling to secure safe passage to playoff pastures, while Blue has all but officially been bounced, as we enter the penultimate week of play…

Captain Parsa Mostafavi watched from the bench as ‘My Harsh Will Gold On’ finally found themselves afloat on winning waters. The win, which came at Blue’s expense (of course), pushes Gold above the cut line (for now). Will they treasure this win, hold on tight, and turn to playoff tides, or will they chuck it back into the ocean, much to the horror and chagrin of everyone present? PS: Do you see what I did there…’about face’…with a Canadian accent…’a boat face’…because Gold might have turned their season around…get it? A boat…the Titanic…Rose…Rose has a face…that counts. Get it? Pulitzer nominations are accepted, in lieu of applause.

Captain Tomáš Jankovic and his ‘Bare Naked Linkes’ stared down another top tier competitor in Week Five, edging Navy 3-2 to remain undefeated at 3-0-2. They have tied both Black and Red, with whom they are currently sharing space at the top of the standings, and Zach Salt appears to be on a mission to lead the league in scoring, and (nearly single-handedly) push White to the promised land…

Captain Arnold Gonzales and his ‘Canadian Moun-Theis Of Navy Scotia’ are riding high after galloping past ‘JOntario’ in Week Four. Josh Wirt wore the hat in the win, but the badge has also been worn by Nick Vacchio, and the entire team is straddled snuggly across the back of outstanding goaltending. Week Five marks the midway point in the season, and Navy will face their twin 2-0-2 team, White, in this Sunday’s marquee matchup…

Things aren’t going down so well for Captain Parsa Mostafavi and ‘My Harsh Will Gold On’. Just two goals and zero wins in three games is an icy start, for sure. Even when the sailing looked smooth against Navy in Week Three, Gold found the ice berg, and couldn’t steer their way to a win. There are still plenty of life rafts available, but a meeting with front-running Black this Sunday could be a sink or swim moment…