Well, if you read the caption above, you already know that nothing went to plan in Week Eleven for Captain Joel Gattey’s White side. The odds were ever in their favor coming in, as White had not one, but two head-to-head tie breakers in their back pocket, meaning even a loss to Black would not (in and of itself) be the end of the line, so long as Green OR Neon also lost. Lining up with four players out (Captain Gattey, Jerry Gonzales, Jon Zygelman, and Parsa Mostafavi) would have most teams on edge, but when your last line of defense if Silas ‘The Silencer’ Perks, you have a chance to win no matter what math and logic may have to say about it. Not only had Perks’ team never failed to make the playoffs, they had never failed to make the Final! Captain Rob Gaudio and ‘Threat Level Midnight’ looked to subvert that trend and punch their own playoff ticket, and it was the captain himself that got the ball rolling for Black in the first (from Wendy Enright and Kyle Snyder). Snyder cashed in on the powerplay in the second (from Gaudio and Mason LaGrossa) to add some pad, but the first one was all that super sub Nick Vacchio (12/12) would need against a stripped down White attack. Perks (31/33) did indeed give his team a chance to win with another heroic performance, but the lack of personnel and punch was too much to overcome, and Black would move on to February play with a 2-0 win while White would have to hope for some help to avoid being the last team out…

Captain Mark Nagy and ‘The Money Beets’ just never seemed to have enough this season. Ties that ‘should have been wins’, losses that ‘should have been ties’, and blowouts that ‘should have been closer’…too much ‘should’, and not nearly enough ‘good’. When you roll into the final week of play with nothing to gain, you also have nothing to lose. Captain Jon Salt’s ‘Bluesnickel’ was in a similar position…just at the other end of the standings. A win would only serve to shore up their second seed spot, while a loss could only knock them down one peg. Still…I like to think that most (if not all) SDFHLers play with pride, and play to win, regardless of the stakes, and as much as they stumbled and fumbled their way down the vault runway, Purple really wanted to stick the landing on a tough season. Blue did not seem to miss a beat in the absence of Captain Salt and Mark Ennsmann, with Greg Wirth opening the scoring (from Kevin Wilkinson), then Wilkinson doubling the damage less than two minutes later. Wilkinson made it 3-0 early in the second (from Joe Nguyen and Maureen Ruchhoeft), and whatever pride and ‘play to win’ passion within Purple players hearts was put to one final test. *cue inspirational sports movie music* That’s when the leash came off the scoring lions for Purple….Captain Nagy from TK Mason and Josh Wirt at 5:02, Mark DeGraffenreid unassisted at 4:31, DeGraffenreid from Nagy and Craig Russell at 2:07, and Josh Wirt unassisted at 1:03…four goals in less than four minutes, as Purple FINALLY found that surge they had been so sorely lacking all season. Wirt added an insurance marker early in the third, and DeGraffenreid completed his first hat trick since the Mesozoic Era late (from Nagy and Ian Crooks) to cap a wild and wonderful 6-3 win for Purple which, while ‘meaningless’, meant a lot for a good group that fought hard to the bitter end. Chris Tran (16/19) finally got the goal support he needed/deserved in the win, while Nick Vacchio (15/21) will look to shake off two straight losses (Blue’s only L’s on the season) and get his team back on track in their playoff opener versus #6 Gold.

Captain Kyle Prior’s Grey had an even worse winter than Purple, sitting alone in the standings basement at 2-7-0 coming into Week Eleven…just playing out the string in a game with no meaning at all for them (minus the aforementioned pride), and a mountain of meaning for their opponent. Captain Sean Bathgate’s Neon knew that one point would punch their ticket after watching White fall by the wayside, but a loss would absolutely leave them in jeopardy of a cut line catastrophe, with White wielding the all-important tie breaker totems. David Schlatter is, well, a fucking beast. his 22 points coming in had him just behind Red’s John Boddy for the season scoring title. His goal to open the scoring in this one at 6:49 in the first put him in a tie in that race, and put Neon out in front, 1-0. Jordan Pynn would equalize for Grey less than thirty seconds later, but Carl Vankoughnett would restore Neon’s edge at 5:34 (from Weston Nawrocki). Brandon Olsen (from Captain Prior) drew the underdogs level again in the second, setting up a winner-take-all third. Captain Bathgate recaptured the lead for his team (from Matt Gottfried), and Schlatter doubled the trouble for Grey with his second of the game at 6:32 (from Bathgate). Andy Strathman kept Grey alive with a response just thirteen clicks later, but Schlatter would complete his hat trick in the late going (from Chris Fiore) to finish the season atop the scoring charts with 17 and 8, and finish (an already finished) Grey 5-3. Cory Brin (28/33) was on the busier end of the rink in yet another hard luck loss, while Chuck Bender (20/23) and Neon knew that they had done what they needed to do to make it out of January alive. With the Gottfrieds (Kaity and Matt) departing (BEST WISHES, YOU TWO!), Neon’s new recruits (Julie Ott and Jackson Tomaszewski) are in place and ready for playoff play. Neon will face second-seeded Red in their opener, or what the media is calling ‘The Battle: Boddy v Schlatter’…get your popcorn ready!

Green’s gutty, grindy Week Ten draw against Purple was as important as it was improbable. Of course, Purple proved to be pretty powerless over the course of the season, but starting any game with just five players and a goalie, then losing one of those five player in the second period usually spells L. That one Week Ten point, coupled with White’s Week Eleven loss, meant that Green could squeak into the postseason with anything but a loss against a potent and poised Red side. A scoreless first had Green hopeful (any period without a point for John Boddy is a major win), and a strong second had them in control. It was Captain Luke Wolmer leading the way, converting on the powerplay at 7:19 (from birthday boy old man, Chris Malki), then building the lead with his second at 6:02 (from Ramsey Ksar and Jason Lee). The shots kept piling up for the Captain Linke-led favorites, but Sean ‘Da Kid’ Kelly (33/33) was in HOF form from start to finish in this one. A full court empty-netter from the elder Malki was icing on his birthday cake, and extra reason to exhale for Green, who had limped and labored for much of the season, but won when they needed to…a 3-0 slide past the second seed, and into the final playoff position. Jon Cima (20/22) finished the season with a strong (enough) 5-3-1/.862/2.00/2 SO line, while Boddy’s blanking dropped him out of the top spot in the scoring race (no doubt making him eager for playoff vengeance). Green’s big win was a big loss for White, who became the final victim of regular season play. Captain Wolmer & Company can only bask in the glory of making the playoffs for so long…they have a date with top-seeded Orange out of the gate. Red held on to their second seed in spite of the loss (thanks to Blue’s loss to Purple), and will face new-player-laden Neon in their playoff opener this Sunday.

With the playoff pool settled, the night cap (and final game of the regular season) would serve as a mere postseason appetizer for both Gold and Brown. Still, both sides had secured wins in their previous two games coming in, and continuing any momentum at this point in the proceedings is never a bad thing. A scoreless first saw Gold outshoot Brown 8-1, but Nick Meglich was up to the task, and zeroes were the heroes going into the second. Andrew Jacobsen, still in the scoring title sweepstakes coming in, put Gold on the board at 8:31 in the middle frame (from Matt Groe), and Gold continued to pour on the pressure with nine more shots (to Brown’s four). The third period was the twist, though, with Brennen Abel bringing Brown back to even footing (from Dan Soar) at 8:06, then finding the game-winner (also from Soar) with 3:18 to play. Tempers flared quite a bit at this point, but (sadly) the most flared temper was that of a certain referee that I have known my entire life…you might say we are really close. After the shock and awe of that outburst had subsided, the game continued, and Meglich (19/20) made sure that Brown remained in winning form, prevailing over Gold 2-1 to vault over FOUR other teams and into the four seed. Gold was one of those four jumped-over teams, but even with the loss, they held of to the six seed based on the ‘total wins’ tie breaker over both Neon and Green. Don Tran was not in nets for his team in this one, but Sean Kelly (11/13) absorbed the loss in a fill-in performance, giving him a personal line of 44/46 with a win and a loss on the evening. Captain Kaitlyn Brusso and Gold will look to avenge a 4-2 Week Two loss, and extend Blue’s rather unexpected two game losing streak, while Captain Rob LaVigne and Brown will also be bent on revenge, facing a Black team that bested them 6-3 back in Week Six.

Captain Mark Nagy and ‘The Money Beets’ dragged the soggy, bloated, rat-eaten corpse-to-be body of their playoff hopes into Week Ten, needing every available point in their remaining two games and a lot of help to miracle a way into what would surely be a two and out post season cul de sac. The desperation was not nearly as deep for Captain Luke Wolmer’s ‘Kelly Kapoorsports’ but at 2-4-2 coming in, a loss to the lowly likes of Purple would leave them in a very precarious place going into the final week of play. Spirits rose on the Beets bench, as it became clear through the course of warmups that Green brought the bare minimum to play…no subs, and no sign of Captain Wolmer, Chris Malki, Erick Zawislak, Matt DeBerry, and Ramsey Ksar. Superstar ball stopper, Sean Kelly…also MIA, albeit with the capable presence of Matt Henderson in nets in his stead. Purple…perfect attendance…primed for a crucial win to keep their season on life support a little longer. A scoreless first had Green encouraged, and the Purple huddle reminding one another that the bones of their opponent’s skeleton crew would surely tire out soon enough. Captain Nagy put his team in front at 7:15 in the second (from Josh Wirt), putting some evidence behind that theory, but Joe Malki converted at 3:53 (from Matt Rogers) to draw the subless side level. Wirt snatched the lead back for Purple (from Mark DeGraffenreid) at 2:10, and it began to look like the long-suffering Beets would go on to control the remainder of the game and secure the crucial two points. Things looked even brighter for Purple and bleaker for Green when Matt Rogers went down and stayed down after a breakaway attempt late in the middle period. Rogers would be carried off with a significant knee injury, leaving Green with just FOUR players and a goalie. It was agreed that Grey Captain, Kyle Prior, could come in to at least match the number of bodies on each side (Prior was a great sport, squeezing into the Green female sub shirt). Purple’s second intermission pow wow had a distinct vibe of imminent victory. After all…a full bench against a team with no subs, no Rogers, and not much left in tired legs. Well…not-so-spoiler alert…Purple found the banana peel. Joe Malki led the attack for Green from the back, slapping a shot off the end boards that bounced out to the side of the net where Jason Lee batted home the game-tying tally…2-2 with two minutes to play. I know this veers off The Office theme, but you could actually pinpoint the second Purple’s hearts ripped in half. Purple’s position brought on that rarest of situations where a team must pull their goalie in a tie game. A single point would do them no good, but that is all they would get (thankfully avoiding the embarrassment of an empty-net game-loser)…2-2 final…RIP, Purple…Green’s season still alive and kicking into Week Eleven.

The haves and have-nots did battle in the second game on the slate, with Captain Geoff Downes’ ‘Orange Vod-Juice-Ka’ playing out the final game of their rip roaring regular season (6-1-2, coming in) against a Grey team very much on death’s door at 2-6-0. I won’t sugar coat this one with pseudo suspense…Orange crushed. Zach Salt cashed in at 6:57 in the first (from Chad Goins and Mostafa Azab), then went on to pour in three more in the second (from Azab, then Glenn Pinto and Justin Ker, then unassisted for his fourth). Captain Kyle Prior (now wearing the properly-fitting proper shirt for his team) had equalized on the power play at 9:03 in the second (from Andy Strathman and Leah Gonzales), but the Salt spate left the score at 4-1 going into the last ten minutes of play. Chad Goins accounted for the lone goal in the third (from Ryan Karns and Salt), putting Grey down and officially out of their season-long misery, 5-1. Matt Henderson (15/16 in this one) capped his Vezina-worthy season with a line of .941/1.22/2 SO, and while Salt did not find the top of the scoring pile this time around, it could (rightly) be argued that it was only because he missed four games. He led the league in PPG with 2.83, and Orange led the league in nearly every important statistical category. Orange is the only team ‘in the club house’, and they can enjoy their Week Eleven bye knowing that they have already secured the top playoff seed at 7-1-2. Grey join Purple on the scrap heap, actually sinking BELOW the Beets with the loss, with ‘who will finish worst’ the only remaining mystery for either team heading into this Sunday’s play.

Two teams already locked into a playoff spot locked horns looking for a better seat at the post season table, with Captain Steve Linke’s ‘Red-Dit-Dit-Di-Doo’ hoping to hand Captain Jon Salt’s ‘Bluesnickel’ their first loss. This one was billed as a sure fire barn burner, but turned into a bone fide bludgeoning, thanks to Big Bad Boddy. Two unassisted Boddy strikes at 8:57 and 8:07 in the first had Red up 2-0 through one, and Sadie Hellstrom made it 3-0 early in the second (from Justin Stege and Phil Nguyen). Another pair of tallies for Boddy over the ensuing few minutes broke this game wide open (from Mark Scelfo, then Hellstrom), and Hellstrom’s second to close out the furious flurry (from Boddy and Captain Linke) left Blue utterly shell shocked, down half a dozen with 12:31 to play. Nick Vacchio (17/23) did stop the bleeding, in spite of Red ripping another eleven shots his way, but Jon Cima (21/21) and Red’s stout defense shut down any retaliation, and a snarling Red offense scorched their way to a big 6-0 win. Blue’s first loss of the season drops them to 4-1-4, now sitting behind Linke’s Red, who hold the wins and head-to-head tie breaker over their rivals at 5-2-2. Neither team can slip any lower than the four seed, so their respective finales will be more about pride, playoff posturing, and (for Blue) recovering their winning mojo. Boddy’s latest ballistic barrage has him atop the league scoring chart with 23 points (15 and 8), but both David Schlatter and Andrew Jacobsen are nipping at his heels, each sitting with a line of 14 and 8. Oh yeah…Sadie Hellstrom also leads all female players in scoring with ten points (4 and 6), and Red leads the league in goals for (32), shots for (219), shots against (113), and shot differential (106). Of course, it remains to be seen whether those nifty numbers will translate to post season success.

Two teams at a crucial crossroads crossed swords next, with the winner assured a playoff perch, and the loser left in the quagmire (giggity) of eight point hopefuls going into the final week of play. Captain Sean Bathgate’s Neon was only slightly more in need of a W, with their 3-3-2 record falling behind Captain Kaitlyn Brusso’s 4-4-0 on the merit of the first playoff tie-breaker, total wins. Still, a head-to-head win would do wonders for either side, while a loss meant mere uncertainty, not certain death. Andrew Jacobsen put Gold on top at 5:40 in the first (from Erin Plone), and Sev Brown doubled the lead at almost exactly the same point in the second (from Jacobsen). Neon’s first response came from the likeliest of sources, with David Schlatter pushing home a power play point to cut Gold’s lead to 2-1 through two. It was Jacobsen again at 9:04 in the third, then again for the hat trick at 6:48 (from Brown) to build Gold’s lead to 4-1. Kaity Gottfried, playing in her last game for Neon, and likely her last career SDFHL game, went out with a bang to bring Neon back within two (from Carl Vankoughnett and Schlatter), but it was too little, too late. Jacobsen’s 3 and 1 gave him the bragging rights win over scoring ladder rival Schlatter, and powered Gold to a playoff-clinching 4-2 win in the process. Julie Ott has been tapped to step in for Kaity, with a replacement for husband Matt expected early next week (should Neon punch their ticket). Don Tran (15/17) collected his fifth win of the season, while Chuck Bender (17/21) absorbed the loss to drop his personal season record back to .500 (3-3-2). As noted, the win has Gold in with ten points (5-4-0), while Neon is left to battle for their playoff lives in their season finale this Sunday. They join fellow eight pointers Black, White, and Green in the hopper of hope that is Week Eleven. Neon has the advantage of facing cellar-dwelling Grey, while Green must face a robust Red, and Black and White play each other in a game primed for the possibility of the always controversial ‘gentlemens’ agreement tie’.

The night cap saw Dan Soar and Brennen Abel popping six caps in White’s ass, leaving Captain Joel Gattey’s team wallowing in the cut line muck and mire down to the Week Eleven wire. Abel kicked off the scoring just 0:38 in (from Soar and Captain Rob LaVigne), then Soar punched home a pair (from Abel and Janice Darlington, then unassisted) to give Brown a commanding 3-0 lead through one period of play. Abel notched the lone goal of the second (from Soar), then the dynamic duo completed their respective hat tricks in the third…Abel unassisted, then Soar from Hima Joshi and Abel…bringing the final White washing total to 6-0. Nick Meglich (12/12) earned the third star of the game with his spotless outing, while Silas Perks (27/33) suffered a VERY rare lopsided loss. The win was just enough to punch a playoff ticket for Brown, who at 4-4-1 earn passage no matter what happens on the final Sunday, thanks to a complicated series of ifs, thens, and tiebreakers. White has head-to-head wins over both Neon and Green, but can still miss the playoffs if they lose to Black, and both Green and Neon earn at least a point in their respective finales. Like any good season, and most in SDFHL history, the final playoff cut will come down to the last week of play…

I am sorry for the lack or recaps again this week…it’s been a tough season 🙁

Captain Joel Gattey’s White was well entrenched in the ‘desperation’ camp coming into Week Eight. At 1-3-2, they shared the standings basement with Grey and Purple, and while Silas ‘The Silencer’ Perks had kept them in games (and even won them one), their seven goals scored was the lowest in the league. They would either need to have a breakout offensive outburst, or hope for Perks perfection against a high octane Neon side who rolled into Week Eight with nearly thrice the goal total, and at least twice the swagger. Captain Gattey himself was out with injury, but it had to be some relief to him and his mates to see Kaity and Matt Gottfried out of the lineup on the other side for this one. Bryan Ossa drew first blood for White at 5:14 in the first (from Jon Zygelman), and a strangely anemic Neon mustered just two shots in the first ten minutes…not nearly enough volume to expect results against the league’s reigning goalie god. A five shot second period did produce pay dirt, however, as the (ironically) white hot Carl Vankoughnett converted on the powerplay at 7:38 in the second (from David Schlatter and Captain Sean Bathgate) to level the ledger at 1-1. The third period belonged entirely to White, who finally found that aforementioned ‘offensive outburst’ in the form of Ossa’s second of the game, Zygelman padding that lead (from Jeannine Stuzka), and Ryan Loughran icing the 4-1 White win on the powerplay. So…desperate team finds their scoring form, gets the game they have come to expect from their stud netminder (Perks (12/13)), and secures a crucial two points in the standings to move above the cut line for the first time since Week One. The kicker, they hold the tiebreaker over Neon, who now feature an identical record, but find themselves below the cut line as a result of this loss. Both teams turn to the holiday break knowing that another important game looms on the other side. Neon will face off with Brown, and White will joust with Green…a win in these games means leapfrogging to playoff safety (at least temporarily).

Captain Geoff Downes’ Orange strutted into Week Eight at the top of the pile, with just a 1-0 loss to Green in Week Five dulling the shine on their 5-1-2 record. That one loss came in the absence of Janet Goins, Justin Ker (surprise), Mostafa Azab, and…oh yeah, Zach Salt. So…maybe you write off the L, but maybe you also worry about another L when you roll into battle with Brown without Bao Nguyen, Glenn Pinto, Nadia Connolly, and…oh yeah, Zach Salt. At 3-3-0, Captain Rob LaVigne’s Brown was neither dashing nor desperate, but every point counts, and a chance to topple the top dogs (regardless of their attendance) is always a mouth-watering prospect. Brennen Abel had the underdogs out to a strong start with his league leading eleventh of the season at 2:43 in the first (from Harsh Wanigaratne and Janice Darlington), and Vance ‘Refrigeration’ Morra doubled the lead early in the second (from Captain LaVigne). Well, you don’t get handed a free pass to the top of the standings, and Orange showed their stripes in the absence of their brightest star, rallying to a 2-2 tie late in the second. Both goals belonged to Captain Downes…a 2:40 strike from Mostafa Azab and Ryan Karns, and a 0:46 conversion from Ker and Azab. Matt Henderson (28/30) continued his tour de force season, keeping his team alive and kicking from start to finish, and improving his league leading line to .935/1.43/1 SO. Nick Meglich (11/13) was considerably less pressured at the other end, but coming away from a tangle with Orange (Zach Salt, or not) without a loss is impressive, and the single point gives Brown some much needed cut line breathing room. Numbers are hard, but I believe that Orange has already clinched a playoff spot. Brown will likely need just two more points to make certain they are playing into February, and the last leg of their campaign begins with a match with a potent Neon side who will be determined to swap places with Captain LaVigne & Company in the standings.

Our cover team was up next, and while Red came into Week Eight play at 3-2-2, and having moved through their schedule to date with relative calm and ease, the fact that most teams behind them carried a game in hand meant that they would need to stay on the front foot going into the two week holiday break (made three weeks virtue of their January 7th bye). A loss to Captain Kaitlyn Brusso’s 3-3-0 Gold would push them to .500, and have them waiting a full month to redeem themselves and resume their final playoff push. Zach Siemer put the heat on Captain Linke’s crew with his second of the season at 8:08 in the first, but a late pair of goals from (who else) John Boddy flipped the lead in Red’s favor moving into the middle ten. Sadie Hellstrom had the first assist on Boddy’s first tally, and she chipped in one of her own in the second (from Josh Tran and Phil Nguyen) to make it 3-1. Hellstrom was not done yet, building Red’s lead to 4-1 with her second of the game/season (from Captain Linke) at 6:08, and with Gold having mustered just FIVE shots on goal to that point, it began to look very bleak indeed for Captain Brusso’s bunch. Andrew Jacobsen finally produced an answer to Red’s run of four (from Erin Plone and Alan Razoky), but Justin Stege blocked any emergency exists with an empty-netter to seal the deal for Red…5-2 winners over Gold. Boddy’s two tallies have him in a tie for the goal scoring lead at the holiday break with eleven (Abel), and while Red show no shortage of scoring punch, one COULD raise an eyebrow of concern over their goaltending. Jon Cima (4/6 in this win) has fared just fine with the avalanche of goal support that he typically enjoys, and Red does allow BY FAR the fewest shots per game (now 92 in eight games), but his .816 save percentage is the worst in the league, and if teams down the stretch/in the playoffs find a way to put more volume his way, that could be an issue. Still…a win is a win is a win, and Red now have four of them in eight tries, and a total of ten points, which is good enough for a (virtual) tie with Blue for second place at the break. Don Tran (19/23) takes the loss for Gold, who now find themselves at 3-4-0, very much in danger of being dragged below the cut line when play resumes in January.

It has been another painful season for yours truly…having to type up a seemingly endless string of summaries of yet another loss after yet another loss for my team. The high from Purple’s win over basement buddies, Grey, was worn away quickly by the sobering reality that we would likely need at least five points in our final four games to have any hope of playoff redemption. Enter…Black, a team that was once like Purple, but whose two game win streak coming into Week Eight put them in a relatively comfortable perch in the middle of the standings, and at a decided advantage in all ways over their 1-3-2 opponent, not the least of which advantage being the all important confidence. Kyle Snyder put any confidence Captain Mark Nagy & Company did muster/possess to the test with a late first period jab (from Mason LaGrossa and Eric Caligiuri), and an early second period powerplay cross (from Captain Gaudio). Purple would fight back, with Josh Wirt cutting the lead in half at the midway point in the game (from Mark DeGraffenreid), but the penalties starting piling up for Purple, and with that came pressure, and with that came another Black goal. This time is was Jim LaGrossa from Wendy Enright and Kyle Snyder, but even as I type this, I remain skeptical that it was an actual goal. It was counted as one…and counted as the second powerplay conversion for Black in the second period, a wild stretch that saw Purple charged with three penalties, and Black sitting for one. It was more of the same in the third…three more Purple penalties, and two more Black box visits, but Purple managed to shake off the short-handed situations, and a second goal from Wirt (Captain Nagy & DeGraffenreid) early in the final frame made this one tight and tense to the bitter end. Alas, it was just that once again for Purple…a bitter end…another loss…this one a 3-2 head shaker to a surging Black. Don Tran (24/26) secured the win in a sub role, while Sean Kelly (28/31) absorbed the loss in the same capacity at the other end. The three week win streak has Black quite comfortable, though not quite assured of a postseason place at 4-4-0. They will come out of the break to a true test against penthouse pimps, Orange, while Purple will begin their final fateful push to playoff safety beginning with an uber-important grapple with Gold.

Captain Luke Wolmer’s crew put up a fight in Week Seven, with the skipper himself posting a hat trick, but Neon had a scoring bee in their bonnet that day, and not even the likes of Sean Kelly could hold back the offensive flood that left Green soaking in an 8-4 loss. Joe Malki was not in the lineup for Green in that beatdown, but he returned in Week Eight hoping to avenge his team against a down and out Grey side. Captain Kyle Prior’s gang were looking for a bounce back of their own, fresh off a loss to Purple, the lone remaining un-feated team in the SDFHL Winter League pool at the time. In fact, they were in desperate need of at least a tie to stop the bleeding and save them from an extended basement stay. Spoiler alert…it was the Joe Malki side of this story that would have a happy ending in Week Eight. Joe and Papa Chris had the assists on Matt Rogers’ early first period goal, as well as Rogers’ second goal minutes later to make it 2-0 Green. It was the Joe show from there, with two goals for the young Malki to close out the first (the first from Rogers, and the second on the powerplay from Emily Bennington), then a late second period strike to complete the hat trick (from Rogers…who also clearly had a big night). Captain Wolmer capped the scoring even later in the second (from Joe and Chris…again), and a (mercifully, for Grey) quiet third meant that Joe’s Green Dead Redemption would come in the form of a 6-0 win over Grey. The 18/18 clean sheet for Kelly has him back on track, and the win pushes Green to higher ground in the standings at 3-3-1. It has been all downhill for Cory Brin (17/23) and Grey since his show-stopping 24/24 effort in a 2-0 Week Five win over Red in his first game back from a long league hiatus. Now sitting at 2-5-0, Grey will need to find a way to at least two wins in their remaining three games if they are to have any hope of surviving to see the second season. The bad news…their opponents in the new year…an undefeated Blue side, current top dogs, Orange, and another high-powered offense in Neon…ouch!

Our cover team drew the early game once again in Week Seven, and the desperation that comes with a 0-3-2 record (the only record with a leading goose egg) drew a fiery speech from Captain Mark Nagy just before the opening draw. A scoreless first kept the flames of frustration and desperation fanned in the first intermission huddle for Purple, with yet another tie, and certainly yet another loss not really an option at this point in the season. It was the captain himself leading the charge in the second, breaking the scoreless knot at 6:04 from Josh Wirt and Ian Crooks. Any calm and confidence derived from a one goal edge was quickly eroded in the third, as Andy Strathman showed no ill effects from a nasty first period tumble into the boards, drawing Grey level at 9:43 from Alexis DaCosta and Jordan Pynn. Both Cory Brin (8/10) and super sub, Sean Kelly (16/17), kept the keel even into the late going, but Purple’s purpose would not be denied, with Josh Wirt snapping home his team’s first game-winner of the season with 1:37 remaining (from Captain Nagy)…2-1 Purple over Grey. The win, while absolutely crucial and certainly cherished by Purple, still finds them in a hole below the cut line floor boards. They will need to repeat the feat this Sunday against a resurgent Black band to cultivate any real playoff hope going into the holiday break. The loss keeps Grey in that same dank basement at 2-4-0, and their clash with 2-3-1 Green this week is now as big as it gets for Captain Kyle Prior’s crew, too.

Scoring was obviously at a premium in the first game of the night, but goals were cheaper by the (literal) dozen in the second square-off. Yes…TWELVE total goals, but…how would this Costco quantity of conquest be divvied between Captain Sean Bathgate’s Neon, and Captain Luke Wolmer’s Green? Chris Malki was first to enter a claim, finding twine less than two minutes in (from Matt Rogers) to push Green in front 1-0, but Carl Vankoughnett answered once (from David Schlatter), then twice (from Shawna Hamon) to flip the lead in Neon’s favor, 2-1. Captain Wolmer found time on the first period clock to pull the teams even at 2-2, and the first intermission found both sides feeling pretty good about their equal share of what looked to be a big goal scoring pie. All of the pie slices went to Neon in the middle third, as Schlatter tallied his first of the night (solo), Vankoughnett completed his hat trick (from Hamon) and Hamon pumped the lead to 5-2 (from Vankoughnett and Vinny Santora). I should pause at this point to remind you that this five goal spate was not coming against a broken broom braced against the cross bar…this was all coming against living league legend, Sean Kelly! So, the swagger was certainly on for Captain Bathgate’s crew, and that swagger translated into two more slices of pie to open the third…Schlatter’s second (from Vankoughnett and Chris Fiore), and Vankoughnett’s FOURTH (from Schlatter) to put this one in boat race territory, 7-2. Captain Wolmer finally found a response for his team (from Chris Malki), but Neon quickly restored their five goal edge on one of the prettiest goals of the season…an absolute dime from Schlatter to Kerri Sevenbergen, who promptly roofed it…sick! It was Captain Wolmer again, who capped the scoring (mercifully, for the poor scorer), capped his hat trick, then turned, saluted, and went down with the Green ship, 8-4. When the flood of score sheet ink finally ebbed, Vankoughnett had racked up a career high six points (4 and 2), while Sean Kelly had perhaps a career worst 24/32 in nets at the other end. Chuck Bender (10/14) was steady enough to get the win for Neon, who now find themselves in the middle-of-the-pack pack at 2-2-2. Captain Wolmer’s Green will need to do some wound licking and soul searching after this one. At 2-3-1, they are only BARELY balancing above the cut line. A Week Eight showdown with Grey is as big as a game gets at this point in the season for Green, and they will need ‘Da Kid’ back on form to firm up their footing in the standings.

The middle game saw half the offense as the 5:00 flamethrower, as both Captain Kaitlyn Brusso’s Gold and Captain Rob Gaudio’s Black looked to build on important Week Six wins. Black was the needier of the two, coming in at 2-4-0, while Gold rolled in at 3-2-0 with their bye week behind them, and their eyes on the upper reaches of the standings. Kyle Snyder struck first in the first, cashing in on a power play (from Mason LaGrossa and Andrew Wong) to put Black on top, and Snyder would double the damage (from Captain Gaudio) in the second to build the lead to 2-0. Gaudio kept the ball rolling (into the net) for Black early in the third (from Will Heinl), before Gold finally fought back with one of their own…Alan Razoky from Ty Pereira and Andrew Jacobsen. The clock became a factor for Brusso’s bunch, and late power play provided the opportunity to make a late push. With that push came a pull (of goalie, Don Tran), which allowed Wendy Enright to push home a rare SHG/ENG to put this one out of reach, 4-1. Jacobsen would make good on the power play with eight seconds to play, but it was too little, too late to avoid a losing fate, 4-2 Black over Gold. Chuck Bender (15/17) enjoyed his second win of the evening, this time in a fill in role for Jimm Reifsnyder, who has yet to suit up this season for Black. The loss drops Don Tran (21/24) and Gold to 3-3-0, but the silver lining is that .500 is good enough for fourth place at this stage, and ‘The Golden Dundies’ hold a game in hand on all three teams above them in the standings.

The evening’s proceedings took the next exit off Highscore Highway back on to the quiet, gently curving streets of Parity City, where local goal ordinances prohibit teams from more than a pair apiece. Captain Steven P Linke’s Red looked to continue their steady push to the top. coming in as winners of two straight, both of the big number/blowout variety (7-5 over Black, and 7-2 over Neon). Captain Joel Gattey’s White, on the other hand, were just looking to stay alive in the playoff picture, with their 1-3-1 record coming in only JUST enough to keep them from settling to rock bottom in the standings. Compounding matters, their five goals in those five games coming in made them officially the most anemic offense in the league (obviously either of Red’s previous two games alone would eclipse their season total). So…power and poise versus desperation and determination…a struggle that found no hint toward resolution in a scoreless first. It was Captain Gattey breaking the seal at 9:18 in the second (from Ryan Loughran), then assisting on Jon Zygelman’s second of the season to give White a 2-0 lead. Josh Tran put the first blemish of the night on Silas Perks’ sterling sheet, cutting the lead in half late in the second, with assists to John Boddy and Mark Scelfo. Phil Nguyen took the scoring torch, and brought Red level at 9:14 in the third (from Sadie Hellstrom and Boddy), and neither Jon Cima (6/8), nor Perks (28/30) would budge from there out, leaving both teams in compliance with the Parity City scoring ordinance in a 2-2 sister kiss. You read that right, Perks was nearly four times as busy as Cima in nets! It will not surprise you to learn that White’s -53 shot differential is by far the league’s worst, nor will you be shocked to read that their (now) seven goals for…also the league’s worst. The saving grace has (not surprisingly) been ‘The Silencer’, who has kept them in every came to the tune of the second best total goals against thus far. Perks and his White mates face a tall order in that department this Sunday, with Neon (twenty goals for) on the schedule, but the flip side is that Neon has also allowed twenty goals. It will be interesting to see which force wins out in that one, but if White cannot find a way to find some potency and prevail post-haste…they’re paste.

The nightcap stayed centered in Parity City, and if you have any measure of reading comprehension/retention, you know that this installment of the Battle Of The Salt Bros™ was a tight, low scoring affair. Fun twist…only a single point, and not a single goal was scored by either of the titular brothers in this, the top dog show down between 5-1-0 Orange and 3-0-3 Blue. Justin Ker made a rare appearance at the rink, and made his presence count with a 1 and 1 outing. The goal came as the first of the game in the first (from Zach Salt and Glenn Pinto), and the assist came on the game-tying Orange tally late in the third (more on that later). Kalen Hunter equalized for Blue less than a minute after the Ker strike, and Maureen Ruchhoeft found her first of the season late in the second (from Mark Ennsmann) to flip the lead in Blue’s favor. It was another unlikely late game hero with that aforementioned game-tying goal for Orange…Janet Goins. Her first of the season at 2:17 lifted Orange back to equal footing, and with both teams having reached their two goal Parity City max, that would be all of the scoring in a second straight 2-2 tie to wrap the Week Seven slate. In a delightfully amusing twist, this game featured the very same goalie match-up (and the very same result) as the 7:00 standoff, as Silas Perks (20/22) filled in for Orange’s Matt Henderson while Jon Cima (12/14) pinch hit for Blue’s Nick Vacchio. Perks was only 50% busier than his counterpart in this one, but the result was the same, and both Orange and Blue are happy to split the points and remain comfortably atop the standings at 5-1-1 and 3-0-4, respectively. The former has the most wins, and the most points to this point in the season, while the latter is the only team remaining with an unblemished loss column. It will be fun to watch how this race for the top spot unfolds down the stretch, but rest assured that both of these teams will be a force in the playoffs, no matter what happens through January play.