Our Week Ten cover team, Captain Ryan Karns’ White, found their stride through midseason play, and rolled into a showdown with Captain Joel Gattey’s Red as the hottest team in the league with three straight wins. While having lost just one of their first eight games, Red was looking to move past a four game stretch that was lukewarm, at best. A 3-3 tie with Black, a 2-2 tie with Orange, a 3-1 loss to Brown, and a 0-0 tie with Olive were the most recent entries on their Spring 2024 resume…not exactly a run that would instill fear in any opponent, much less one coming in with White’s winning swagger. A scoreless first meant a fourth straight period of futility for Red, but Jordan Pynn finally broke through on an impressive coast-to-coast solo effort at 7:28 in the second. Josh Wirt evened the score at 5:32 in the third (from Captain Karns and Carl Vankoughnett), but young stud Trevor Vick would have the final say in this one, putting Red up for good 2-1 with 3:21 left to play (Tim Vick & Joel Gattey). Both goalies were somewhere between solid and stellar, with Matt Henderson (23/25) suffering the tough loss to snap his three game win streak, while Chris Tran (21/22) continued to impress in his return, doing a very admirable impression of Sean Kelly in a successful sub stint. Red’s first win since April 28th keeps them in lockstep with Olive for the top spot in the standings. The caveat…both Olive and Black have a game in hand on Gattey’s gang, and will likely find their way past them by season’s end. White’s win streak is snapped, but at 4-4-0, they are a near mathematical lock to make the second season. They face a tough challenge in the 5-0-3 Olive this Sunday, but close the season against a desperate and destitute Pink side.

Captain Chad Goins’ ‘Grayve Danger’ scuffled to a 1-2-1 mark to start the season, with the coup de grace of that unimpressive run coming in a stunning 6-3 Week Six loss to Teal. Since that loss, Grey has rebounded nicely, taking care of business against the rest of the bottom dwellers (a 6-0 win over Gold, and an 8-1 win over Pink), and have added their name to the ‘we didn’t lose to Olive’ list (a 1-1 tie). Captain Kyle Prior’s ‘No Shit, Sherlock’ came into the match with Grey on a wave of confidence borne out of a 2-0-1 run against the formidable likes of Black, Red, and Purple. The runaway leaders in the points race, Mark DeGraffenreid (21) and Zach Salt (20), were licking their chops at a chance to pepper one of the weakest statistical goalies (Jon Cima), and keep Brown’s run of lossless results over playoff-positioned posses growing. Rob LaVigne hit the pause button on Brown’s pump at 4:52 in the first, cashing in his second of the season (from Justin Stege) to give Grey the early edge. Zach Salt responded later in the period (Tony Thinh & Andy Strathman), then tucked home a second with just eleven seconds to play (DeGraffenreid) in the first to flip the advantage in Brown’s favor, 2-1. The middle period was a dream for Grey, and a nightmare for Brown, with Janice Darlington knotting the score at 2-2 at 7:59 (Kyle Snyder & Eric Willard), Snyder wresting the lead back for Grey at 6:13 (Willard), and late goals from Vance Morra and a second from Snyder (Willard) leaving Brown stressing and scrambling down 5-3 going into the third. The lone Brown answer in the second came courtesy of the dynamic duo (Salt from DeGraffenreid), but alas…that would be the last bit of resistance from the favorites. Snyder capped his hat trick with a solo effort in the third to add insurance and remove any doubt that this day belonged to Grey…6-3 over Brown. Cima (19/22) had the last and loudest laugh in the win, while Cory Brin (18/24) was valiant in vain, often left spinning in the crease while Snyder carved through the zone exerting his considerable will. The win officially punched Grey’s playoff ticket, and they will look to continue their standings ascent as Red’s final regular season opponent this Sunday. Brown will have some extra time to lick their wounds on a bye week before closing their season against Gold.

At a certain point in a dismal season, desire and desperation melt into acceptance…any maybe even atrophy into apathy. Captain Jeannine Stuzka’s Gold REALLY needed an upset win over Purple in Week Eleven to keep their steadily sinking playoff hope boat afloat. Amazingly enough, a win (combined with the results for Orange and Teal in the games that followed) would be all they would need to be very much in the thick of the hunt for the final playoff spot. With Chris Tran back in nets and looking sharp as ever, and with Ty Pereira and Alan Razoky back in the lineup, the stars seemed align for a sparkplug, season-saving victory. A scoreless first saw Tran twice as busy as Don Tran stand-in, Nick Meglich, at the other end (10-5 in Purple’s favor), but even when Gold turned up the shot production in the second (12-10, in their favor), they could not find twine. Jon Salt finally broke the scoreless stalemate with 2:12 to play in the second (from Joe Nguyen), dropping Gold into an all-too-familiar hole going into the third. In fact, over the course of the entire season to that point, Gold had only held a lead once…for the final 8:18 of their only win over Pink in Week Four. So, while (very) used to playing from behind, Gold was also (very) used to never catching up. Catch up they did, however, with Brennen Abel notching his sixth of the season at 6:32 to knot the score at ones (Ty Pereira & Alan Razoky). A game-winning goal was not in the offing for either side, as both Tran (28/29) and Meglich (26/27) held firm to secure each team a point in the 1-1 tie. Mathletes (or AI) may reveal that the point has already shored up a playoff seed for Purple, but dunces like me will wait until the result of their Week One make-up matchup with Teal. While not a win, Gold will definitely take a non-loss. Actually, in the group of cut line teams battling for survival, it could be argued that Gold is in the best position (in spite of having one less point). Stuzka’s crew take on Orange this Sunday, then close their season against Teal. Wins over those two teams could allow them to leap frog to safety, and give them new life into July.

One of the teams that Gold will need to jump past if they hope to make the playoffs is Captain Bryan Ossa’s Orange. Attendance, particular the attendance of WMD super sniper, David Schlatter, has been the Achilles heal for Ossa & Company this season. With Schlatter in the lineup, Orange is 1-1-2, without him, they are 0-3-1, including a crucial, crushing 4-1 loss to Pink in Week Ten. With Schlatter out of the lineup again against a beefy Black side, Orange were braced for another L…they just hoped to keep it from being one of the lopsided variety. Mark Scelfo (Geoff Downes & Brendan Jew) and Brendan Jew (Sean Bathgate & Dan Jurgens) put Black on top by two in the first, and a three goal second period for Black meant that it would, indeed, be a lopsided affair. Some people get a taste of power and success and handle it with calm, cool poise and quiet, respectful dignity. Others like to showboat and rub it in the faces of those that oppose them. Marc Lapointe clearly camps in the latter tent, and I for one am sickened by his antics. Lapointe’s second of the season at 5:59 in the second made it 4-0 Black (Sadie Hellstrom & Captain John Boddy), and after Jurgens made it 4-0 (Downes and Boddy), Lapointe decided that he just HAD to have a second (Boddy). Brendan Jew built Black’s advantage to five in favor at 4:13 in the third (Jurgens), and after Rob Gaudio finally struck back from Orange just over a minute later (Mostafa Azab), Marc ‘The Merciless’ Lapointe decided he just HAD to have his precious hat trick (Downes & Scelfo), scoring with 1:10 remaining to wrap the 7-1 Black beatdown. Marc, if you’re reading this, I hope you’re really proud of yourself. You’re probably too busy making TikTok videos of all the babies and elderly people you have punched to prove how big and tough you are to care, but YOU sir are a monster. It’s no surprise, really…spelling your name with a ‘c’ like a so many psychopaths before you. I kid, of course…CONGRATULATIONS on your first career SDFHL hat trick, Marc! You are a beloved, and even a down and out Orange side had to tip their caps for this performance. Orange will need a heroic (Lapointe-esque, if you will) performance (or two) of their own in their final two games, or they (like so many babies and elderly people who crossed paths with ‘The Merciless’) will be punched out (of the playoffs). If Schlatter makes his way to the rink this Sunday and next, Orange have a chance to knock Gold out of the race, upend Brown and slip into the final playoff spot…

It’s generally not considered difficult to lose a hockey game, but if your goalie has a .958/0.83/2 SO line going into your final three games of the season, the level of difficulty on somehow finding a way to anything but a win is very, very high. I won’t go so far as to say that Silas ‘The Silencer™’ Perks is single-handedly winning games for Olive, but when you consider that the team in front of him has scraped together a mere sixteen goals in eight games (including the Week Eleven game recounted in the recap you are currently reading), they might very well find themselves below the cutline without Perks’ game-changing abilities. Their goal total is just one better than 2-6-0 Pink, and is one LESS than 2-6-0 Teal and 1-5-2 Orange. Only Gold has fewer actual goals, though, with three goals in Olive’s meager total having entered an empty net (neither Orange, nor Teal have a single ENG, and Pink has just one). Granted, Olive has managed to keep a clean L column even in Perks’ two absences, but (not to go too far down the asterisk rabbit hole) those results came against a Schlatter-less Orange and a Pynn-less Red. So, while Silas may not be soloing wins, he is very clearly THE player around which opponents must focus their game plan (and prayers, if they are of that persuasion). It’s never a good time to face The Silencer™, but it was a particularly bad time for Captain Zach Siemer’s Teal, who remain in a pack of hungry and hopeful teams looking to slip out the back door of the struggle bus and into to the safety of playoff pastures. Jon Zygelman’s goal with 3:23 to play in the first (Hima Joshi & Dan Soar) might as well have been worth ten with Perks looking on, and when Captain Copp doubled the lead with his first of the season early in the second (Chris Fiore & Shelby Shattuck), it was definitely time to stop the fight. Getting back to the main idea of this recap, Olive was outshot TWENTY-ONE to FIVE in this game, and still came away with a 2-0 win. If ever their were an argument for a no doubt, slam dunk season MVP, it would be Perks Spring 2024…gross. The win moves Olive to 5-0-3, fully in the driver’s seat for the top playoff seed with two games to play, and a game in hand against Red. The loss, while not remotely unexpected for Teal, means that they must now hope for points against Purple, and/or Gold in their remaining games, or they will be brushed aside like so many balls slapped Perks’ direction.

Chris Tran FINALLY made his debut in nets for Gold, after missing his team’s first half dozen games with old man knees. Tran was very sharp, but as the story has gone for most of the bottom teams in the standings this season, poor attendance dulled any hopes of making his efforts pay off. Without the services of Alan Razoky, Ty Pereira, Harsh Wanigaratne and Matt Groe, Gold’s only hope would be to somehow steal a lead, and hold on for dear life. Captain John Boddy’s Black fired twenty shots at Tran in the first two periods, but it wasn’t until late in the second when one finally found a way past the veteran netminder…Marc LaPointe’s first goal (and, indeed, point) of the season off a wild, bouncy, post-and-out rebound play with helpers to Pat Gladstone and Sean Bathgate. The third period was ALMOST as quiet as the first, with Gold pushing in vain to equalize (finally topping Black in shots in a period with a 9-8 edge), but Brendan Jew (from Captain Boddy) ended any comeback hopes for Captain Jeannine Stuzka’s desperados, capping a 2-0 Black win with his second of the season. Tran finished with a 26/28 line…definitely giving his team his all, and keeping their slim hopes of a non-loss alive to the bitter end, while Ryan Loughran (15/15) earned all of his money in the third period push from Gold, holding strong to earn his first career shutout and improve Black to 4-1-2. If this game wasn’t quite a ‘must win’ for Gold, their remaining three games absolutely are. At 1-6-0, they will need to run the table, and probably rely on some help to survive into July. The biggest challenge left on their schedule comes in the form of Purple this Sunday. If they can manage and upset in that one, they have a beatable pair in Orange and Teal to follow. A loss to Purple will almost certainly mean that Gold will be the first team out.

The Salt Bros Battle™ is always a hot ticket, and with Zach’s 5-2-0 Brown looking to stay in the hunt for the top seed, and Jon’s Purple hoping to shore up their playoff footing, the Spring 2024 regular season installment had plenty to offer beyond Sunday dinner bragging rights for the two superstars. Captain Sev Brown’s bench was barely there, with Tyler Winstead, Jason Northrup, and Juan ‘Always Gone’ Ortiz elsewhere at game time, while Captain Kyle Prior’s Brown would be without Andy Strathman, Shawna Hamon, Maureen Ruchhoeft, and Cory Brin. Of course, all but Strathman would be covered by subs (Sadie Hellstrom, Pat Gladstone, and Ryan Loughran, respectively), so Brown would once again enjoy a wo/manpower advantage over their rivals in Week Ten. The first period saw Purple carry the majority of the play and create more chances, including an open look in the slot that Joe Nguyen did not let pass (from Captain Brown). A scoreless second meant that this grudge match would stay gritty into the third, and when Nguyen cashed in again with 5:55 to play (Salt), it looked like the elder Bro™ would have the latest laugh in the series. Brown kept fighting, though, and a crisp passing series from Zach Salt to Sadie Hellstrom to Mark DeGraffenreid cut the lead back to one with 3:43 to go. Lo and behold, less than a minute later, Robert Pietropaula snapped home his first career SDFHL goal (Hellstrom & Salt) to knot the score, and set up a frenetic fight to the finish. Both Don Tran (17/19) and Ryan Loughran (14/16) held firm the rest of the way, etching a 2-2 sister (or, brother) kiss entry in the Salt Bros Battle™ archives. The salvaged point keeps Brown in first place…for now, and also makes them the first official playoff team with eleven points. They hold the ‘total wins’ and ‘head to head’ tie breaker over Red, but both Olive and Black lurk in striking distance, both with a game in hand. Despite failing to stick the dismount, Purple remain playoff safe at 3-3-1, and will look to improve their security against a down (and nearly out) Gold this Sunday.

From the Salt Bowl to the Dunkin’ Bowl, the Week Ten middle game pitted two struggling sides with a combined two wins, a lot of donuts, and a sprinkling of ties to show for thirteen games played. Attendance (or, lack thereof) has been the story for most of the cut line teams this season, and Captain Janine Ulloa’s Pink had reason to perk up with no Rob Gaudio and no David Schlatter (AGAIN) in the lineup for Orange. The two had combined on 21 of Orange’s 36 points, and 11 of 16 goals, coming in. So, a full-benched Pink (with Pat Gladstone and Kaitlyn Brusso filling in for the absent Captain Ulloa and Steph Palomo Schmidt) would have to be considered the favorites at game time, in spite of having lost their previous two games by a combined score of 15-2. Captain Ulloa may still be grounded with a lower leg injury, but she was beaming with pride early in the first when son Matthew gave Pink an early leg up with his second career goal, and second goal in as many games (from Gordon Schmidt). Super sub, Pat Gladstone, padded Pink’s lead in the second (Greg Wirth & Schmidt), and with the two big Orange guns AWOL, that one really felt like the death knell for Orange. In case there was any doubt, a short-handed strike from Mason LaGrossa with 4:08 to play swiftly removed it, and Lil’ LaGrossa™ followed with the the lone assist on Josh Tran’s second (!) of the season to make it 4-0. Nick Vacchio (11/12) would win The Battle Of The Nicks™, but his shutout bid was undone by a Mostafa Azab conversion with just twelve ticks remaining. The big 4-1 win (amazingly enough) keeps Pink alive in the playoff hunt, but they will likely need to win out after their bye this Sunday in order to make it to the second season. Nick Meglich (23/27) suffered another tough loss to drop his personal record to 1-3-1, and leave Orange down on the cellar steps of the standings at 1-4-2. Captain Bryan Ossa’s group must put that game in hand over Pink to good use this week, but they will REALLY need their stars in the lineup and their stars aligned if they hope to survive an encounter with powerhouse Black.

Attendance is a big deal this season (broken record, I know), but both Rob Gaudio and David Schlatter were in the lineup for Orange in Week Nine against a VERY short Teal side…and Teal still stomped them, 6-2. So, while poor attendance and crippling losses aren’t perfectly corollary, that shocking, lopsided Teal triumph was certainly a glitch in the matrix, and only came courtesy of a monster 3 and 2 performance from Luke Wolmer. The win over Orange gave Captain Zach Siemer & Company hope for a resurrected season, but Captain Ryan Karns’ White had plans of their own to continue their standings ascent. A scoreless first bled into a second period that belonged to the upstart underdogs. Trice Harvey’s second of the season at 8:11 (from Erin Plone) and a fourth on the season for Week Nine POTW, Luke Wolmer (from Chris Malki and Harvey) had Teal on top and in the driver’s seat heading into the final ten minutes of play. To briefly borrow from last season’s theme, and quote the ever-so-quotable Michael Scott…’how the turntables‘. Ramsey Ksar’s second of the season made good on the powerplay for White with 9:30 to play (Carl Vankoughnett & Mark Nagy), and Josh Wirt drew the teams level with a solo effort at 3:42. Both sides pushed hard, producing one of the higher shot totals of any game this season (37-28, in Teal’s favor), but both Matt Henderson and Chuck Bender held strong as the clock wound toward what seemed like a certain draw. Alas, Teal would be undone…Mark Nagy came through with the GWG with just 0:42 to play (Wirt), dealing a crushing blow to Teal’s playoff push with a late stunner…3-2 White over Teal. Bender (34/37) snatched second star honors for his efforts in the losing cause, while Henderson (26/28) and White added another big notch to their mojo belt, and recorded a third straight win to make them officially the ‘hottest team in the league’. Both teams face a steep challenge in Week Eleven, with White grappling with the 4-1-3 Red, and Teal trying again to get on track against the only undefeated team in the league, the 4-0-3 Olive.

At least once a season, there is a game where very little happens. Or, rather, stuff happens, but none of it really means anything, because it doesn’t make the score sheet. Avid fans of very little to no scoring (so, soccer fans, and fans of Carl Vankoughnett’s sex life) would have had Red v Olive circled on their calendar at season’s start, with the league’s top two goalies squaring off in a ‘which team will score the game’s only goal and win this thing’ standoff. As fate would have it, Silas Perks was not in nets for this one, so it would be Nick Meglich v Sean Kelly with the winner claiming sole possession of the top spot in the standings, as well as a potentially valuable tie-breaker, come season’s end. Perks’ absence, coupled with the palpable aura that is ‘Da Kid’ and an ultra-rare Alexis DaCosta sighting gave Red the edge in this one, but Olive has some kind of unbeatable aura of their own going, and this was sure to be a dog fight. Red’s ‘edge’ was evident, at least in the shot totals (23 to Olive 11), but Meglich proved he has a very passable Perks impression, stopping everything Red brought. Kelly was half as tested, but equally effective…that’s right, folks…no goals, no assists, only one penalty (weirdly, on Meglich)…nothing to see here. The 0-0 tie…the first, and likely only one of the season, is actually kind of delicious. Neither team needed a point, let alone a win in the standings, and this result sets up a potential playoff rematch where there are no ties. Both teams officially clinch a playoff berth with the point, but Olive remain the only loss-less team in the league, and are primed to snatch the top seed with a game in hand on both Red and Brown as we roll into the final three weeks of play.

Poor attendance has routinely proven to be the biggest game-changer this season, with a number of teams taking hard L’s due to a short (or even empty) bench. No team has suffered the slings and arrows of absenteeism quite like Teal. Most teams have missed an average of 1-2 players per week, not including goalies. Teal has EIGHTEEN missed player games in six team games (an average of three players shy of capacity any given week), and that is not including their original captain, Leah Gonzales, who played just one game before bowing to injury. With just one win coming in, and with Ian Crooks, Joe Malki, Justin Ker, and Trice Harvey all out of the lineup, it would take a minor miracle for Captain Zach Siemer & Company to avoid another humiliating loss, let alone for them to overcome Orange and double their season win total. Enter: Luke Wolmer, our intrepid POTW, and likely savior of Teal’s sad, sinking season. Wolmer converted a Will Heinl pass at 4:20 in the first, and a Chris Malki helper at 2:51 to stun Orange and set the scene for a truly remarkable upset. David Schlatter responded for Orange midway through the second (Rob Gaudio), but Captain Siemer restored Teal’s two goal lead minutes later (Wolmer and Chris Malki). It was Wolmer again to extend the lead to 4-1 early in the third (Chris Malki and Siemer), then Heinl making it 5-1 from…who else…Wolmer and Malki. A Gaudio from Schlatter strike made it 5-2, but Heinl’s second (from…yep…Malki and Wolmer) was the final straw on Orange’s already broken back. The shocking 6-2 win moves Teal to 2-4-0, and while not out of cut line peril by any means, they sit primed for a legitimate playoff push against all conceivable odds…simply incredible. The loss is a particularly rough one for Orange, who now slip below the cut line themselves, with Teal now holding the total wins and head to head tiebreaker over them. Both teams have juicy games on deck after the holiday break, with Orange facing on-death’s-door Pink, and Teal looking to continue their ascent against standing neighbors to the north, White. The outcomes of those games will no doubt shape the lower half of the playoff landscape.

Captain Jeannine Stuzka’s Gold were Week Eight headliners, but in the P Diddy, Trump, San Jose Sharks sense of the ‘honor’…for bad/very bad reasons. With White handing the ‘Handlers’ a third straight loss to drop their record to 1-4-0, the second half of the season would likely need to be reciprocal (or close to it) to preserve any playoff hopes at all. Sometimes the schedule breaks in your favor, and sometimes it sends your wounded animal of a team into the den of a fierce predator. Captain Jeremy Copp’s Olive entered Week Nine play as one of only two unbeaten teams, and they would leave as the last team standing in that regard. Broken record here…it would be another Olive effort played out on the stout back and shoulders of ‘The Silencer’, Silas Perks. Gold outshot Olive 6-1 in the first period, and 21-7, overall, but neither goalie would yield in the first, and a lone Ralph Feuer goal at 8:09 in the second (Jon Zygelman) had the underdogs fearing that even one would be too much to overcome with Perks patrolling the pipes at the other end. My statistician has just informed me that this was not only Feuer’s first career SDFHL goal, but his first ever point! CONGRATULATIONS, Ralph! Zygelman doubled the lead with an unassisted effort early in the third, and when one isn’t enough for a Perks-backed side, two certainly is. Alan Razoky rendered that second goal vital (Brennen Abel & Andrew Wong), slicing the lead in half with his first goal/point of the season (!). Perks (20/21) and friends would hold the rest of the way, though, with Jason Lee tucking his first of the season into an empty net to seal a 3-1 Olive win, and push Gold that much closer to five free Sunday evenings. It doesn’t get any easier for Gold after the holiday break, with a very tough Black on the books. Olive will face perhaps the toughest challenge to their spotless loss column this Sunday in a showdown with 4-1-2 Red.

The only team who has it worse than Gold to this point in the season is Captain Janine Ulloa’s Pink. Already at 1-5-0 coming in, the least punchy of bunches were absolutely in must-win mode coming into a match with Captain Chad Goins’ Grey. Goins’ group came in with the ‘sample platter’ record of 2-2-2, with their last two games coming against the combatants in the previous game…a 6-0 trouncing of Gold, followed by a 1-1 tie with Olive. Pink’s only win coming in came at the expense of a struggling Teal side…a team that actually beat Grey back in Week Six. So…there was hope on the Pink bench as the opening faceoff dropped, and a first career SDFHL goal for Matthew Ulloa at 7:51 in the first (Kaela Martin) (CONGRATULATIONS, Matthew!) had Pink pumped. Alas, much like my typical bedroom performance, that would be the only pump of the night for Pink. Vance Morra continued his hot hand with his fifth of the season at 6:12, Kyle Snyder followed with the first of three on the night less than thirty seconds later (Morra & Janice Darlington), and Tom ‘The Other’ Darlington (Chad Goins) made it 3-1 Grey after one. A scoreless second was a relief and source of renewed hope for the desperate underdogs, but the lopsided shot count (27-9 through two) had even the most optimistic Pink player hoping the dam wouldn’t break. It broke in the third….Jeffrey Henderson unassisted, Snyder from Morra, Snyder from Henderson, J-Dizzle from Snyder and Morra, and Justin Stege from Captain Goins and Snyder….a five goal spate to wash Pink away (likely for good), 8-1. Jon Cima (13/14) collected the win for Grey, who improve to 3-2-2, while an absolutely besieged Nick Vacchio (29/37) did his best (the man is not a miracle worker) for a Pink team that has honestly seemed doomed from the start, and now seem doomed to finish in dead last.

With the heavyweight bout between Brown and Red looming in the late game, Black versus Purple made for the perfect undercard. Captain John Boddy’s Black came in looking to bounce back from a very lopsided loss to Brown the week prior…their first of the season, while Captain Sev Brown’s Purple was riding high off the synthetic sense of satisfaction that can only come from stomping Pink. While both teams look to be on playoff pace, a win would secure a space in the upper reaches of the standings, and with the likes of White and Teal beginning their midseason climb, points are paramount. Sean Bathgate got the party started for Black with his first of the season at 6:28 in the first (Sadie Hellstrom & Mark Scelfo), but Jon Salt equalized later in the period (Captain Brown). The second period was a veritable scoring bonanza, with the two teams exchanging blows in a wildly entertaining orgy of offense. Pat Gladstone batted home her first of the season on a chaotic series from Geoff Downes to Captain Boddy to the post to her stick to give Black a 2-1 lead, but Purple responded with two goals in a 1:15 span…Joe Nguyen from Kaitlyn Brusso, and a solo Salt effort to turn the tide in Purple’s favor. Downes followed with a pair of goals over the next two minutes to wrest the lead back for Black…the first from Gladstone and Bathgate, and the second from Sadie Hellstrom. That second dose of Downes damage would serve as the game-winner, with Captain Boddy’s solo empty netter serving as the only mark on the scoresheet in the third. Always a bridesmaid, Nick Vacchio (18/21) secured the win for Black in Ryan Loughran’s absence, leaving Don Tran (13/17) and Purple to suffer the 5-3 loss and drop to an even 3-3-0 on the season. Black will look to continue their playoff build in Week Ten against a scuffling Gold, while the Purple v Brown throwdown will serve as the next installment of The Battle Of The Salt Bros™…don’t miss it!

Captain Joel Gattey’s Red steamrolled their way to a 4-0-0 mark through the first four games of their season, but hindsight shines a spotlight on this achievement, and the cracks in the case for excellence are evident. Their first win…a 5-2 romp over Gold, the second…a 4-1 strut past Teal, the third…a 6-1 punchout of Pink, and the fourth…a 1-0 squeak past a Salt-less Purple. The combined current record of those first three teams…4-15-0. So, while Red was winning the games they should win, subsequent ties with Black and Orange showed that the pundits yelling ‘PAPER TIGER’ might not be wrong. Captain Kyle Prior’s Brown has also benefited from its share of soft opposition, having also racked up wins against the Triangle Of Sadness™ (Gold/Teal/Pink), and otherwise having benefitted more often than not from their opponents’ poor attendance. So…an intriguing matchup between two teams that look great in the standings, but may well just be ‘pretty good’. While you can never (ever) count on Alexis DaCosta showing up for a game, the absence of both him and Tim Vick gave the betting edge to a fully-staffed Brown as warmups wrapped. Mark DeGraffenreid would put that advantage in writing at 6:15 in the first (finishing a beautiful passing play from Shawna Hamon and Zach Salt), and a scoreless second kept this tilt of titans tense going into the third. Tony Thinh converted a DeGraffenreid feed into five hole glory to make it 2-0 early in the third, but when Jordan Pynn answered with a solo effort at 2:32, there was still time for this game to be claimed by either side. A late tripping penalty to Nick Vacchio made the odds longer for a Red redemption, and Zach Salt’s powerplay punctuation mark (DeGraffenreid & Andy Strathman) put things out of reach for good, 3-1 Brown over Red. Cory Brin (22/23) earned his ‘Beat Sean Kelly’ scout badge in the win, outdueling the living legend who stopped 21/24 in a tough loss. The 1 and 2 DeGraffenreid effort, and Salt’s 1 and 1 keep the dynamic duo in the gold and silver podium places with twenty and eighteen points, respectively. While it is still too soon to say that either of these teams is a Cup favorite, they are both surely destined for the playoffs…perhaps a juicy rematch awaits.

Our Week Eight cover team, Gold, is making the paper for all the wrong reasons. With just one win in four tries coming in, and given that the lone win came against league punching bag, Pink, Gold knew they would need a good result against an up and down White side, or risk falling that much further behind the playoff pack. With Silas Perks suited up in place of the still-on-the-shelf Chris Tran, and with a full bench, including the heavy shot of Alan Razoky and perennial scoring standout Brennen Abel in he lineup, it felt like this one was Gold’s game to lose. Unfortunately for Captain Jeannine Stuzka & Company, that is just what they did. Captain Ryan Karns’ White came out with guns blazing, racking up thirteen shots in the first period. Only one of those shots found a way past Perks…a Mark Nagy strike with a helping hand from ‘The Deputy’™, Kevin Dinino. Gold pushed back in the second, posting thirteen shots of their own, but Matt Henderson was in beast mode, and would keep his team on top going into the third. Both Perks (31/32) and Henderson (25/25) were perfect in the final third, meaning that Nagy’s late first period goal would be all White would need to push past Gold, 1-0. The win is significant for White, evening their record at 3-3-0, and moving them into relative comfort in the middle of the standings with their bye week still to come. The loss, while not a death sentence for Gold, leaves them at 1-4-0 with five games to play, including a tough Week Nine matchup with Olive. It’s not quite ‘must win’ time yet, but it’s definitely must-not-lose May for the Handlers, if they have any hopes of playing into July.

Captain John Boddy’s Black strutted through their fist four games without a loss (2-0-2), and while I don’t have a comprehensive attendance chart in front of me, a quick check of the boxes for those four games show just one player missing each time out. One of those four absences (Sadie Hellstrom in Week Seven) was covered by a sub, making three net absences over four games, which has to have them tops in the league for showing up…which we all know is half the battle. That shimmering show-up trend would dull in Week Eight, as Black took to the court to face Brown without Marc Lapointe, Dan Jurgens, and Brendan Jew. A short bench is not always a problem if it means more playing time for a super star, and with Captain Boddy’s history of ho-hum heroics, Brown would need a strong showing from their own super star (Zach Salt), whose absence the week prior spelled doom for Captain Prior’s side. It was a strong Salt showing, indeed, and an old, forgotten, Rec Gym relic proved he also has some ‘super star’ swagger left in the satchel. Mark DeGraffenreid (said forgotten relic) opened the scoring for Brown at 8:06 in the first (Shawna Hamon & Zach Salt), then doubled the edge at 2:57 (Salt). Salt kicked off the second with a solo strike, and DeGraffenreid followed quickly with the hat trick capper/game-winner (Andy Strathman). Captain Boddy finally broke through with two retaliatory responses at 7:00 (Pat Gladstone) and 3:21 (Geoff Downes), but DeGraffenreid’s fourth of the game on the powerplay (Hamon and Tony Thinh) had Brown up 5-2 going into the final ten minutes of play. Boddy would complete his own hat trick, and restore concern to the Brown bench just twenty seconds into the third, but it was all Brown from there out…Salt (Hamon), Salt (Russell), Thinh (Salt and Maureen Ruchhoeft), Ruchhoeft (DeGraffenreid & Strathman). The late spate turned a potential thriller into a 9-3 boat race, with Brown handing Black their first loss of the season, and providing yet another ‘attendance is key’ data point. With six points for Salt (3 and 3) and five for DeGraffenreid (4 and 1), this new dynamic duo keep command of the top two spots in the scoring table with 17 (DeGraffenreid) and 16 (Salt) through six team games. Math will tell you that the two have combined for more points that a number of other (entire) teams this season, while chemistry will tell you that Brown is a volatile threat any given Sunday…goggles, coats, and gloves, people!

Captain Jeremy Copp’s Olive found themselves an even rarer breed after Black’s defeat, now one of just two lossless teams at 3-0-2. The impressive mark is all the more intriguing when you consider that the team entered Week Eight with a goals-for total (11) in the bottom half of the standings. Olive’s clear key to the undefeated kingdom…’The Silencer’™, Silas Perks. Perks’ numbers are bonkers once again this season, with just FIVE goals allowed in five games coming into Week Eight. Captain Chad Goins’ Grey have proven to have no trouble scoring this season, but Perks is a different animal, and Jon Cima and company were definitely playing the role of David to Perks’ and friends’ Goliath. Both David and Goliath were perfect in the first, with Grey’s 9-5 shot advantage producing no advantage on the scoreboard. Justin Stege finally put a ball past Perks at 4:11 in the second (Captain Goins & Kyle Snyder), but SDFHL’s prodigal son, Aaron Cooney, evened the score with his third of the season less than two minutes later (Dan Soar). Grey enjoyed a 7-4 edge in the middle period, and produced another lopsided shot count in the third (8-3), but Perks (23/24) held firm on his end…and Cima (11/12) did well enough with the sling shot to stun the giant with a 1-1 result. Another loss-free week has Olive still in the running for the top spot in the standings at 3-0-2, while the point keeps Grey in relative standings safety with a sample platter 2-2-2 mark. Both teams can exhale and look forward to an (expected) easier outing in Week Nine, with Olive taking on the 1-4-0 Gold, and Grey hoping to unleash their pent-up high-powered offense against a 1-5-0 Pink,

It’s too late to ease concerns with ‘it’s early’ speeches, and consolatory back claps are starting to sting more and more with each loss logged for Captain Janine Ulloa’s Pink. At 1-4-0 coming into a Week Eight meeting with Captain Sev Brown’s Purple, the injured Ulloa could only prop her crutches next to her camping chair and hope the sails would finally unfurl on her swiftly sinking ship. Purple came in rested and reset, with their bye week offering equal parts time for recovery and time for reflection on a pair of tough, tight losses in their previous two outings. I would normally try to build a bit of artificial ‘suspense’ in these recaps (you’ve already seen the boxes, and I am REALLY late with the recaps this week), but there’s really no helping the total lack of close competition in this one. Jon Salt put Purple in front just 1:16 in, and Emily Bennington closed the period with her first of the season to make it 2-0 (Captain Brown & Salt). The middle period was rather quiet, with Salt’s second at 2:57 serving as the only scoring (Jason Northrup), but the third was a bludgeoning bonanza…Salt on the powerplay (Jon Champine), Salt unassisted, Salt’s FIFTH (Kaitlyn Brusso), and Champine (Brown & Joe Nguyen)…a four goal frenzy to put Pink down a touchdown with less than a minute to play. Don Tran (23/24) was not completely untested at his end, but only a last gasp effort from Mason LaGrossa at 0:25 (Gordon Schmidt) kept him from a clean slate…but of course did no real good in the 7-1 Purple pile on. Nick Vacchio (27/34) continues to suffer the slings and arrows of being the last line of defense on a very bad team, but even a great day for an all time great goalie would have fallen short when one last minute goal is all your team can muster. Now at 1-5-0, it’s no longer a matter of ‘if’, but ‘when’ Pink will officially eliminated from playoff contention. The win propels Purple to 3-2-0, on the right side of .500, and still in the thick of the playoff pack as they make the turn into the second half of their schedule.

Week Eight saved the best game for last, as a tense, tight tilt between Orange and Red kept the pattern of thriller-thumping-thriller-thumping-thriller intact. At 3-0-2, Captain Joel Gattey’s Red was really starting to show the swagger of a Cup lock, while Captain Byran Ossa’s 1-2-1 Orange came in still in search of a consistent winning formula. It’s hard to concoct any formula, much less a winning one without some key ingredients, and Orange would once again find themselves lacking the not-so-secret sauce that is David Schlatter. Captain Ossa was also elsewhere in this one, but Orange drew some consolation and confidence from the absence of Alexis ‘Absence King’ DaCosta and Sean Kelly at the other end. A scoreless first was also a shotless first for Orange, with bored-to-tears fill-in, Don Tran, looking on as Nick Meglich stopped all seven shots he faced. Rob Gaudio found twine behind a startled-awake Tran with one of Orange’s five shots in the second (Jess MacKinnon & Mostafa Azab) at 7:18, but Wendy Enright responded at 6:06 (Nick Vacchio) to restore balance through two. It was an eerily similar pattern in the third, with Gaudio’s second coming at 7:19 (Azab), and Trevor Vick’s response (Tim Vick) coming at 5:29, to knot the score at 2-2, where it would stay. Meglich (25/27) was his typical yeoman self in helping to wrest a point away from the league’s big bad wolf, while Tran (10/12) did a perfectly adequate Sean Kelly impression to keep Red undefeated at 4-0-2. Orange will look to climb away from the cut line in Week Nine, with a scuffling, attendance nightmare Teal in town, while Red look to preserve their pristine L column, and keep circling challengers at bay against Brown.