It was ‘another week, another tough loss’ for Captain Bryan Ossa’s slumping ‘FlamingOssas’. After a promising 2-1-0 start to the season that saw them rack up twenty goals and hang tough with the likes of Orange, Pink had drooped to 2-3-0, with a 7-1 loss to White and a 4-2 loss to Lime serving sobering notice that they had A LOT of work to do to stay safe through the regular season. The Week Eight matchup with Black would be a golden opportunity to rebound into the win column and deal a major blow to one of the few teams remaining below them in the standings. When a full compliment of Pink players gathered in warmups to find Papa Jon Salt out of the lineup at the other end, the anticipation of that much-needed rebound abounded all the more. I mean…if you read the first part of the first sentence of this recap, you already know that it was ‘a new week, a new life’ for Captain Hima Joshi’s Black, who came in at 1-4-0, desperate for a detour from their cutline course. Any win would work, but a win over Pink would be particularly prized, given the additional tiebreaker ammunition at stake. Geoff Downes kicked off the scoring at 6:59 in the first, completing a chain from Eric Willard and Rob LaVigne, and Downes quickly (1:10 later) doubled Black’s lead from LaVigne and Evan Melcher. A familiar fear and frustration crept through Pink’s ranks, and those emotions were only intensified by Eric Willard’s strike at 1:30 (Downes and Wendy Enright), then exponentially exacerbated but a (literal) last second Steve Pugliese breakaway conversion to cap a mic drop four spot for Black through one. Pink knew they had the time and talent to recover, but a tortured psyche is not an easy thing to soothe, especially in the course of a live game. Carl Vankoughnett would lead that recovery effort in the second, though, chipping one (Josh Wirt & Elyse Shattuck), then two (Mostafa Azab) past super sub, Nick Meglich, to calm the nerves and focus the resolve of his mates. Alas for Captain Ossa & Company, those would be the last balls past Meglich (28/30) who was stout to say the least in relief of Pink’s own Will Heinl. When Wendy Enright shoveled home an insurance goal on the power play at 8:41 in the third (LaVigne and Willard), there was a collective shoulder slump and heart sink in the Pink ranks, knowing they had let another crucial game go the other way. The 5-2 win was massive for Black, pushing them above the cutline for the first time all season by virtue of the head-to-head tiebreaker with their fallen Pink foes. Neither team is dead, nor (certainly) guaranteed second season survival, but Pink’s free fall has removed them from the current playoff picture, and a recovery from this kind of crash and burn calamity is unlikely, at best…

The Week Eight slate pivoted from the Pink v Black trench battle to a much loftier link-up between Captain Zach Siemer’s 3-1-1 White and Captain Ryan Karns’ 3-1-1 Flint Blue. While it is always beneficial to see how your team measures up to teams of similar caliber and playoff trajectory, there was very little at stake in this intriguing battle of second seed contenders. A win would officially (or, as officially as need be) punch a playoff ticket, and might also serve to increase the odds of holding on to a higher seed, so there was certainly more than pride on the line as the team’s lined up for the opening faceoff. Dan Jurgens put Flint Blue on the front foot with a powerplay goal at 3:41 (John Boddy and Ryan Loughran), and when Boddy doubled the lead at 1:44 (Jurgens & Captain Karns), some mid-volume alarm bells rang through the Siegulls’ hearts and minds. As we all know, one goal is usually all you get when you face Silas ‘The Silencer’™ Perks, and tallying two through one period of play is a win unto itself. The actual win, of course, was still at stake, and Scott Wieland wanted that win. Wieland was a man possessed in this game for White, by far the most impressive performer from either side. His solo strike at 4:07 in the second was the epitome of extra effort, with Wieland collecting his own rebound and sniping home a much-needed response from a bad angle to put his team back in the mix. Wieland’s blast from the point found the twine behind Nick Meglich at 9:29 in the third (Steve Linke), knotting the score at twos, and sending a surge of swagger through White’s ranks. Wieland’s heroics were indeed impressive, and while he was the best player on the court in this game, he did not make THE BEST play. That honor belonged to the humble, unassuming, dare I say unlikely personage of Mr. Ramsey Ksar. Ksar found himself in a battle along the near half boards in the attacking zone, and most in attendance probably assumed that the outcome of that scrum would be something rather benign and ordinary…the defender would chip it out, or Ramsey would struggle through and snap a bad angle chance toward Perks. Nope! As if he had found the exact combination of button presses and joystick wiggles in a very realistic video game, Ramsey spun off the defender, collected the ball in stride, strutted in alone, and sniped the game-winner over Perks’ shoulder…absolutely sublime! It’s tough (to say the least) to put two past Perks, but Ksar’s kshocking ksolo kshelf-job would be the difference in a truly thrilling regular season clash, with Flint Blue coming out on top, 3-2. Meglich (24/26) notched a ‘real’ win on the heels of his successful sub stint, outdueling the biggest baddie in goalie gear (Perks 18/21) to make Ksar’s star turn stand. Both teams remain in very strong playoff position, of course, slotting safely above the ‘six (point) pack’ of teams, but likely out of reach of an untouchable Orange as we wend into the final third of the season.

While SDFHL oddsmakers were not predicting a twist in the Week Eight Wing League ‘Citrus Bowl’, Captain Joel Gattey’s Lime could not be discounted outright from being the team that would finally find a way to fell Captain Jeremy Copp’s ‘Overpowered Orange Ogre’ (not their actual team name, so much as a nom de punishment I conjured just now). While Lime’s two wins coming in came at the expense of two of the worst teams in the league (Pink and Green), their ties came against two of the best (White and Flint Blue)…the latter of which coming as the result of a last minute lapse. There’s really no nuance to Orange’s back story…they just win…every…damn…week. At 5-0-0, I suppose the only motivations are staying perfect, and keeping the law offices of Perks, Perks & Cooney simmering at the top of the scoring silo. For Lime, a win would be a massive boost to their playoff potential, if not an outright ticket punch, and would put the big dogs on notice that anything can happen in a playoff rematch…including an upset encore. Before there can be an encore, there needs to be show, and Jordan Pynn staged his own two act shooting performance to put the underdogs on top with seeing eye snipes from distance early in the first and second periods. His blast at 9:36 in the first (Leah Gonzales & Joe Malki) served noticed that Lime was by no means cowed by Orange’s lossless legacy, and his similarly-sizzling strike at 8:32 in the second (Craig Russell) had onlookers on high alert for an upset. There would indeed be an ‘upset’ in this one, but not in the ‘unexpected win by an underdog’ sense of the word…more in the ‘damn…I thought we had that one’ usage. Yes, Orange would come to life with Aaron Cooney’s eighth of the season at 7:19 in the second (Owen Perks & Silas Perks), then Silas Perks would level the ledger at 9:24 in the third (Cooney). The teams were now on ‘even footing’, but the rink was clearly tilting in favor of Captain Copp’s crew. Cooney’s second of the game gave Orange their first lead at 5:55 (Owen Perks & Shelby Shattuck), and Owen’s empty netter at 0:36 iced yet another Orange win, this time 4-2 over Lime. Will Heinl (19/22) was very solid in Matt Henderson’s stead, weathering the Orange storm as well as any have so far, while Mason Holcomb (14/16) kept both his and his team’s record perfect at 6-0-0 with another strong effort. To add injury to insult, Captain Joel Gattey suffered a freak calf injury in the second period, and looks to be out for some time. He will need to hope that his team can earn a few more points in their remaining three games to lock in a playoff spot and await his return. Orange has the formidable front of Red, Blue, and White remaining between them and a flawless regular season, and I for one am not betting against them.

While our cover team, Captain Shawna Hamon’s ‘Turds Of A Feather’ are ‘making the paper’ for all the right reasons, it is safe to say that their Week Eight opponents are…not. Green were already in ‘must win’ mode coming into the contest, but with Captain Alan Razoky himself serving a two game suspension, and at least one (likely two) other players refusing to play in an apparent protest of that suspension, there was some concern that Brown might not even have an opponent to face in their bid for a third straight win. To the relief of all involved in keeping this league running strong, all but Alan and the expected AWOLs were suited and booted for Green, and beyond simply ‘showing up’, genuinely fought for their playoff lives from start to finish in perhaps the most exhilarating match of the week, if not the season. Eli Schonbrun put Green in front at 4:50 in the first (Brendan Jew & Trice Harvey), and Schonbrun’s second of the game and fourth of the season at 5:12 in the second (Maureen Ruchhoeft and Chris Tran) doubled the upset edge. When Tran struck to make it 3-0 Green just over a minute later (Jew & Chuck Bender) the long-awaited Green revolution was well and truly underway. Like many revolutions throughout history, however, this one was snuffed out as quickly as it rose up. Weston Oakley began his POTW campaign with his second of the season at 9:10 in the third (Kalen Hunter & Jim LaGrossa), then a pair of Hunter lamplighters at 6:56 (Andy Strathman & LaGrossa) and 3:33 (Oakley & LaGrossa) erased every trace of Green’s advantage. Jason Northrup would finally answer for Green with a solo goal with 2:48 to play, but it took just FOUR seconds for Brown to respond to that response with LaGrossa finishing a Hunter feed to make it 4-4. He wasn’t named POTW for nothing, folks…Weston Oakley, sitting on two career goals, both having come in his last five periods of play…0:45…game-winner (Strathman)…Green heart and back breaker…game over…Brown 5, Green 4…wow! Neither goalie will want to frame and hang their line from this one, but Sean Kelly (23/27) did JUST manage to outduel Chuck ‘Hard Luck’™ Bender (13/18) in this one to keep his team rolling. The stunning win finds the ‘Turds’ all the way back from the winless depths of the standings to 3-3-0, with all of the momentum and mojo you could ever hope for going into their final three games. The loss…obviously devastating for an already devastated Green side, but (contrary to my previous ‘must win’ indication), they are still alive in the playoff hunt. Two of their remaining three opponents are just four points ahead of them in the standings (Pink and Black), which keeps a fair amount of their fate in their own hands. The trickier part will be their March 23rd match with White, but they WILL need a win in all three of their remaining games (and some help) to survive into April…

The Week Eight nightcap was one of those ‘crossroads’ games, with Captain Chad Goins’ Red hoping to snag a second straight win, even their record at 3-3-0, and establish themselves in the thick of a mid pack of teams with solid playoff prospects. Captain Rob Gaudio’s Blue were hoping to avoid a third straight loss, which would see them slide from a 3-0-0 early season record to a 3-3-0 mark heading into the final third of the season. While Jason Remple was already plugged in a producing points, Blue’s two game tumble started with a stunning 3-0 loss to Brown in Kyle Snyder’s Week Five farewell foray, and continued with perhaps the gut-punchiest-of-all-time losses to Flint Blue in Week Six…building a 3-0 lead through two, then allowing four goals, including two in the final 2:07…eeeesh! So, two teams one tick on one side or the other of .500, a great ‘on paper’ matchup…a nice way to wrap Week Eight. Unfortunately for Captain Gaudio & Company, this one was all but wrapped after one period of play. Jackson Tomaszewski muscled his way into thick of the race for second place in scoring pace on the strength of two second period assists, and two first period goals. JT put Red up bright and (super) early at 9:49 (Brennen Abel), then doubled the damage at 6:26 (Abel & Captain Goins). Min-Soo Smith padded the lead with his first of the season at 5:04, and it would be all smiles for Red in the first intermission huddle, up 3-0. Jason Lee finally responded for Blue on the powerplay at 6:39 in the second (Tony Thinh & Captain Gaudio), but Steph Palomo Schmidt restored the three goal advantage at 5:04 (Abel & Tomaszewski). Steph’s lesser half, Gordon Schmidt Palomo, pushed Red’s lead to four at 2:58 (Tomaszewski & Palomo Schmidt), but Jason Remple put Blue back where they left off after the first, rattling home his second of the season at 1:54 (Lee & Dorothy Kline). Lest there was any fear that Blue might do unto Red as Flint Blue did unto them, an Abel solo snipe made it 6-2 Red with 6:33 to play. Tim Vick’s conversion with 0:33 remaining (Remple & Lee) was little more than a minor moral(e) victory for Captain Gaudio’s gang, and a minor ding on Jon Cima’s solid outing (13/16). The 6-3 loss is Blue’s third straight, which puts them in lockstep with Pink for coldest team in the league (not counting Green), while the 6-3 win is Red’s second in a row, and has them liking their chances of making it to April. Don Tran (19/25) and Blue are certainly not in ‘must-win’ mode, by any means, but you really want to snap a regular season losing streak, especially when you have not yet sewn up a playoff spot. The problem…Blue has the 3-2-1 White, and the 6-0-0 Orange up next on the schedule. The silver lining…they play the aforementioned froze bros, Pink in their finale.

Captain Zach Siemers ‘Siegulls’ are a ‘lock down’ team by almost every measure, but a closer examination reveals what we all already know all too well…Silas ‘The Silencer’™ Perks is a bad dude. White came into Week Six play having allowed ONE OR FEWER goals in each of their first four games, and you might be inclined to believe that a large part of the credit for that stunning stat would be owed to Captain Siemer’s ‘defense first’ draft strategy. However, including their Week Six clash with Captain Chad Goins’ Red, Siemer’s squad has actually allowed the third highest shots-against total (111) in the league! So, you flip to the goaltending statistics page, and there’s that ‘bad dude’…sitting pretty at the top of the pile by a mile with a .955/1.00/1 SO line. Whether it is The Silencer™ just fully feeling it, or some combination of goaltending and a Linke-led defense limiting ‘quality chances’, White’s 3-0-1 record coming into Week Five play was proof that they have a working winning concept. Captain Goins’ group came in on a two game slide, dropping their record to 1-3-0, and leaving them thirsty for a win against one of only two remaining lossless teams. The first period came and went with no score, but served as an excellent illustration of my ‘bad dude’ point above, with Red outshooting White 12-0 (!) to no avail. White mustered some semblance of an attack in the second, with the shot count a bit less in Red’s favor (11-6), but it was Brennen Abel finally breaking through at 3:34 to…get this, loyal reader…put White down for the first time all season! Jackson Tomaszewski and Gordon Schmidt provided the helping hands on Abel’s goal, and it was Tomaszewski and Greg Wirth with the assists on young William Teglia’s strike to make it 2-0 Red with 2:34 to play. Remember, if you’re scoring at home, this is the first time all season that White has surrendered more than one goal…and it would lead to their first loss of the season, with Jon Cima (10/10) and Red holding on for the 2-0 win. Perks (29/31) was no less incredible than he has been all season, but even a perfect performance from him would have meant a tie for Siemer & Company. The win is an important one for Red, swinging them into a pack of teams looking to escape the cut line, while the loss does little to dampen the drive, nor the playoff prognosis for White.

If the league has ever seen a starker example of an ‘up and down season’ than Captain Bryan Ossa’s Wing League 2025 ‘FlamingOssas’, I would be very, very surprised. Pink opened their slate with a convincing 7-3 thrashing of Red, followed by a wild 7-6 loss to Orange, followed by a 7-0 boat race win over Brown, followed by a 7-1 laugher loss to White. So…whether dropping seven on a team, or having seven dropped on them, Pink was running a W-L-W-L chain coming into Week Six…a chain featuring perhaps the craziest contrast between links imaginable. The hope for Ossa & Company was that this pendulous pattern would continue, earning them a big bounce back win over Captain Joel Gattey’s 1-1-2 Lime. Lime’s pattern coming in was a bit less 3D, with a 4-2 loss to Blue, a 4-2 win over Green, and too dramatic ties…one late letdown against Flint Blue, and one late come up against White. The end result of these ‘patterns’ for both teams was four points in the standings, and a strong desire to create cutline distance and improve playoff prospects going into the second half of the season. A scoreless first (only the second scoreless period in a game involving Pink all season) saw Pink outshooting (6-2) and out-chancing Lime, but Matt Henderson and Lime would hold the line and surge to life in the second. Vance Morra converted on the powerplay at 5:54 in the second (Joe Malki & Chris Malki), and when Jerry Gonzales added a solo strike at 4:30 and Joe Malki a third tally at 2:25 (Jerry Gonzales & Chris Malki), the fear of another lopsided loss rippled through the Pink bench. Captain Ossa finally answered for his team at 2:14, finishing a very pretty tic-tac-toe rush from Josh Wirt and Sadie Hellstrom, but all potential momentum from that goal was sucked away by a Sean Bathgate dagger with just 0:05 to play in the middle frame (Leah Gonzales & Joel Gattey). Pink continued to push in the third, rallying the shot count back into their favor (9-3), and carving closer with a successful Mark DeGraffenreid breakaway, but that would be all that a heroic Henderson (21/23) would allow. The ‘heroic’ adjective in the previous sentence stems (in part) from the fact that Henderson was badly shaken up with 4:39 to play, with all signs pointing to an early exit with a gnarly shoulder injury. Nope…he stood back up, shook it off, and went on to finish a big 4-2 win for Lime…the kind of toughness that his forthcoming biopic will feature in an inspirational scene, with swelling music and emotional friends and family looking on in the stands. Michael Haine (11/15) was very solid at the other end, fully resolving any crisis of confidence his Pink mates may have had after a tough Week Five loss to White. Haine will have the benefit of a full array of weapons for Pink in Week Seven, with Carl Vankoughnett returning to run alongside Wirt against a suddenly sagging Blue side.

With Captain Goins’ Red moving to a safer place in the standings with their win over White, and Captain Ossa’s Pink sliding closer to the cutline with their loss to Lime, the already weighty trench battle between Captain Shawna Hamon’s Brown and Captain Hima Joshi’s Black took on an additional significance. The winner would keep pace with the four point pack, keep their vanquished opponent below the cutline, and earn a potentially important late season tiebreaker in the process. A win for Brown would also give them two in a row, and serve as some notice that they ‘are back’ after a very slow start to the season in the absence of super star, Kalen Hunter. Coming into Week Six, Hunter had appeared in just two of his team’s four games, but had accounted for three of their four goals. Brown would almost certainly need to find some more ‘secondary scoring’ to survive this season, and…right on cue…Kevin ‘The Deputy’™ Dinino came through, netting his first of the campaign at 9:24 in the first (Captain Hamon). Eric Willard would respond immediately for Black, equalizing just nine seconds later (Steve Pugliese) on what must have been a quick step and shoot off the ensuing faceoff. Brown found more ‘secondary scoring’ with Jim LaGrossa snapping home his second of the season at 3:46 (Hunter & Hamon) to give his team a lead going into the second. Following the trend, it was Weston Oakley’s turn to convert for Brown, finding powerplay paydirt at 6:42 in the second (Hunter and Greg Francisco) to pad Brown’s slim lead. Not only was this another bit of ‘secondary scoring’ for Brown, but it was also Oakley’s first career SDFHL goal! CONGRATULAIONS, WESTON! Evan Melcher brought Black back to within one at 9:05 in the third (Willard), adding his name to the ‘secondary scoring’ trend, which Black would certainly need in the absence Jon Salt. As if to remind all involved that ‘primary scoring’ is also important, Hunter’s fourth of the season (LaGrossa) was also the fourth of the game for his team, and Sean Kelly (16/18) would hold it down from there to seal the 4-2 win for Brown over Black. Chuck Bender (10/14) shouldered the loss for Black in Will Heinl’s absence, with Captain Joshi’s team remaining idle below the cutline through the midway point of the season at 1-4-0. As fortune would have it, her team can immediately redeem themselves and make progress to playoff safety with a win over winless Green this Sunday. Of course, a loss in that game would be the end of the road for Green, but in all likelihood, a loss would spell the end of the second season dream for either team.

In life, there is ‘good drama’, and there is ‘bad drama’. ‘Good drama’ would be…Severance, or Squid Game, or any other movie or show that keeps you locked in on the edge of your seat. ‘Bad drama’ would be SDFHL Wing League 2025 Week Six Orange v Green. Captain Jeremy Copp marshalled his Orange troops into this contest with a 4-0-0 record, TWENTY-THREE goals-for, and three of the top ten scorers in the league (Owen Perks, Aaron Cooney, and Silas Perks) on the court together at any given time. Captain Alan Razoky’s Green came in as perhaps the biggest underdogs in SDFHL history at 0-4-0, having managed just eight goals in those four losses, and with a near-palpable cloud of aimless despair hanging over their ranks. For good measure, Chris Tran would be out of the lineup for Green due to injury, while Orange was fully present and primed to play. In spite of the mismatch ‘on paper’, and by every measure of performance and projection to this point in the season, this game really did have some ‘good drama’ through two periods of play. Owen Perks continued his absolutely scalding scoring pace with his ninth of the season at 9:14 (Silas Perks), but Captain Razoky equalized for Green at 3:55 (Andrew Jacobsen) to send the two teams tied into the second. Orange pumped up the pressure in the second, outshooting Green 12-3, but Chuck Bender was as equal to the task as could be hoped (or more), holding Orange to just two tallies…an Aaron Cooney strike at 8:19 (The Perks Boys™), and a solo snipe from Christopher Fiore at 6:22. So, in spite of the expected heavy tilt of the court in Orange’s favor, and in spite of an 18-5 edge in shots, Green had hung tough with their formidable foes, and the concept of a courageous third period coup was not outside the realm of possibility. Owen Perks’ second of the game at 8:44 (Cooney & Silas Perks) certainly dashed Green’s hope, but the game wore on through the middle point of the third at a still-very-ho-hum 4-1 score. That’s about when the ‘bad drama’ ensued. Cooney’s second of the game with 4:06 to play (Owen Perks), and his hat trick turner at 3:39 (Owen Perks & Shelby Shattuck), broke the game open to a 6-1 Orange rout, drawing accusations from Green (or, at least, one player on Green) of Orange ‘running up the score’. It should be noted that Orange cannot help but ‘run up the score’…they have now averaged SIX goals per game…they are just an offensive juggernaut. At any rate, Fiore’s second of the game to make it 7-1 (Justin Stege) was the final straw for Captain Razoky, as the ‘bad drama’ came to an ugly head, with Green’s leader leading his team off the court in protest of Orange’s potency with 2:34 remaining on the clock. Yes, loyal reader…for the first time in SDFHL history, we saw a team refuse to finish a game, and essentially forfeit…’very bad drama’. As noted, Bender (19/26) was sharp in spite of the seven spot, keeping his outgunned gang in the fray going into the final frame. Mason Holcomb (4/5) was obviously hardly tested, but kept his personal record, and that of Orange perfect at 5-0-0 in the pretty/ugly 7-1 win. Needless to say, the two teams remain on their polar opposite paths with this result, with locking down the top playoff seed the only remaining to-do list item for Orange, and with Green now in must win mode for the remainder of their (miserable) season.

Not all losses hit the same. For Captain Rob Gaudio’s Blue, dropping their first game of the season to a previously unbeaten Brown side…in shutout fashion…in super star Kyle Snyder’s final SDFHL game…that was a tough loss. Still, at 3-1-0, and having brought in the skilled and speedy Jason Remple to replace Snyder, Blue had to like their chances of bouncing back in Week Six against their rival shade, Captain Ryan Karns’ Flint Blue. If you read the headline above, you know already that this was another loss for Blue…and as tough as their first loss of the season was, their second was at least twice as tough. It all started well enough, with Jason Lee putting Blue up 1-0 just thirty seconds into play, and ‘The Other Jason’™ Remple wasting no time before contributing to his new team with the lone assist. Remple then scored his first of the season at 8:39 in the second, finishing a string from Captain Gaudio and Lee to really make himself at home on Blue’s roster, and Captain Gaudio himself made it 3-0 with his second of the season with less than a minute to play before the second period intermission (Tony Thinh & Bao Nguyen). A three goal lead…a late, gut punch second period goal…all of the momentum and swagger going into the third…all signs pointed to Blue getting back in the black in Week Six. Nope. John Boddy started the Flint Blue rally with 8:42 to play (Dan Jurgens & Mark Nagy), but as another three minutes ticked away thereafter, the pushback goal felt like more of a death rattle than a spark plug. When Dan Jurgens cut the lead to one at 5:37 (Nagy), it was at least clear that this one would be a fight to the finish. The clock wound down to the final minutes of play, with Blue still holding a lead and sensing a win when…Luke Wolmer…2:07 (Captain Karns & Jurgens)…now a 3-3 tie! Flint Blue’s Week Two third period scramble to a tie against Lime was impressive, but they went and topped themselves with a three goal rally to tie Blue…and then went and topped themselves again, stealing the win with Boddy finishing the rally he started early in the third with the go-ahead goal at 1:43 (Ruchhoeft). Absolute incredulous devastation on one bench, and ‘pinch me’ jubilation on the other. Nick Meglich (19/22) would hold on to preserve the flat out heist of a 4-3 win for Flint Blue, while Silas Perks (26/30) shouldered a very tough and very rare loss in an even rarer capacity as a sub (for Don Tran). Yes…buried lead alert…Flint Blue pulled off this little coup against ‘The Silencer’™…simply incredible! Blue will need to shake off this brutal loss and find a way to regain their winning ways against a hungry Pink side, while a suddenly-tied-for-second-place Flint Blue will push their house money into the pot against a resurrected Brown.

When Team A outshoots Team B 25-11, the logical money is on Team A to win. The hedge is Team B to steal a win with a final score of something like 1-0 or 2-1. The moonshot/sucker bet would be taking Team B to rout/humiliate Team A 7-1. This hypothetical became all-too-real for Captain Bryan Ossa’s Pink in Week Five, as they played the very unfortunate role of ‘Team A’ to Captain Zach Siemer’s ‘Team B’. Captain Siemer put his team in front with his fourth of the season at 6:20 (Tyler Winstead), and Jon Zygelman made it 2-0 less than a minute later (Janice ‘The Better’ Darlington & Steve Linke). White improved their goals to shots-on-goal ratio from 2:4 in the first to 3:5 in the second, with a Steve Linke solo strike at 6:07, followed by a Zygelman solo effort at 2:34, and the Zygelman hat-trick-capper at 1:43 (Janice ‘The Better’ Darlington). White ONCE AGAIN improved their goals to shots-on-goal ration in the third, this time to 2:2, with another unassisted Linke goal at 9:09, and one last tally from White’s white-hot captain at 6:35 (Zygelman). Silas ‘The Silencer™’ Perks (24/25) was in peak Perks form, with his bid for a second shutout in four games spoiled only by a Mark DeGraffenreid slapper with 1:36 to play (Mostafa Azab). The laughably lopsided 7-1 win saw White more than double their goal scoring output through their first three games (from 6 to 13), and has them perched just below the only other undefeated team in the standings, Orange, as we arrive at the halfway point in the season. The humbling (and, frankly, deeply troubling) loss for Pink drops them to 2-2-0…still playoff safe, but clearly exposed, and nervous about potential repeats of this debacle.

As if our thirst for passionate, bitter rivalries weren’t already slaked by the two weeks of ‘Four Nations Face-Off’ hockey, Week Five saw the long-awaited birth of the best and biggest new SDFHL grudge match…Captain Jeremy Copp v Captain Hima Joshi. The two are (by all reports) still happily married, but they bravely (if ‘bravely’ is the word) decided to challenge that marital bliss this season by not only playing on separate teams, but CAPTAINING separate teams. Captain Copp’s Orange came in as the overwhelming favorite in this one, having dispatched their first three opponents with varying degrees of ease, thanks in large part to an absolutely clinical offensive front. Captain Joshi’s team struggled to 0-2-0 out of the gate, but came in on the heels of a rousing 4-3 come-from-behind win over Red in their previous game. While Orange was certainly favored to prevail, we all know how these frenzied feuds can play out…it’s usually anyone’s game. Christopher Fiore seemed to snuff out that fantastical notion immediately, sending a half court laser past Will Heinl just SEVEN seconds in to give Orange the lead before the scorekeeper had even clicked the pen (Justin Stege with the assist). Arnold Gonzales matched the defensive scoring at 7:25, drawing Black level with assists to Eric Willard and Captain Joshi herself. Owen Perks would give Orange back the lead at 5:26 (Gladstone), and unfortunately for Black, this was just Owen ‘getting it Perk-olatin‘™ on his way to another first star honor. As if Orange needed ‘secondary scoring’, Andrew Wong found the score sheet in the second with what is almost certainly the best goal of his SDFHL career. Actually, when you are comparing just TWO goals (yes, that is his career total), I suppose I better use ‘better goal’ to describe this gem. Wong (perhaps having undergone severance, and not realizing that his outie has always been a pass first, stay at home defender) went coast to coast and snapped a shot far side past Heinl to give Orange a 3-1 lead. Owen Perks notched his second of the game with just 0:38 remaining in the middle period, moving Orange into the third with a commanding 4-1 edge. Stege further sharpened that edge with his second of the season at 5:12 (Owen Perks), then Owen completed the hatty at 4:13, with the unselfish pass courtesy of brother Silas (please take note of this style of play, Mr. Wong). Black took the loss with a grain of Salt, with Jon’s late, no-angle net-finder making the final only a slightly-less-unsightly 6-2. Mason Holcomb (11/13) kept both his personal record and that of his team spotless at 4-0-0 with the steady stint, while Will Heinl (15/21) became the latest victim of ‘The Big Orange Machine™’. I followed up with the wedded warriors, and although Hima does owe Jeremy two more car washes and one ‘take Chef to the vet’, all reports are that this clash has not put them any closer to divorce. Now, if Black makes the playoffs…

The creamy middle of the Week Five schedule saw Captain Ryan Karns’ Flint Blue taking on Captain Chad Goins’ Red, with both teams looking to double their win total and improve their playoff footing heading into the midway point of the season. As coincidence would have it, both teams came in on the heels of a 4-3 win, and while Flint Blue (1-1-1) enjoyed a slightly better record than Red (1-2-0) at game start, that extra Flint Blue point came from some very late game heroics from Captain Karns himself in Week Two. So, after two blowout bouts to open the Sunday slate, this one certainly held parity potential. Captain Karns kept his hand hot, netting his third of the season unassisted at 5:09, and when Luke Wolmer doubled Flint Blue’s lead just forty seconds later (Dan Jurgens & Ryan Loughran), it looked like another Week Five washout was well underway. Jackson Tomaszewski stemmed the tide with his fifth of the season at 1:14 (Gordon Schmidt & Josh Tran), and a Tran tally with just 0:22 to go brought the balance all the way back going into the first break. Tran struck again at 7:22 in the second (Schmidt), catching him up to Tomaszewski for the team lead in goals at five, and giving Red their first lead of the game. Alas for Captain Goins & Company, that lead was very short-lived, as John Boddy leveled the ledger just 0:38 later (Karns & Loughran). Alack for Goins’ group…Wolmer wrested the lead back at 2:23 (Leah Gonzales), leaving Flint Blue up 4-3 heading into the final period of play. Boddy added insurance with his second of the game with 7:34 to play (Ryan Karns & Mark Nagy), and Jurgens put things out of reach for good just eleven seconds later (Maureen Ruchhoeft & Nagy). So, while the Week Five lights had finally shined upon a tight and competitive game through two, the 6-3 final in Flint Blue’s favor will go into the box score archives as a third straight laugher. It’s worth noting that Nick Meglich (26/29) was the busier of the two goalies, but stood strong and outdueled Jon Cima (12/18) to push his team into a cozy, playoff-poised position in the standings. Red will need to find their form in the coming weeks if they hope to join Karns’ crew comfortably north of the cut line, and with a 3-0-1 White up next, it will take some doing to get that done this Sunday.

Our cover team this week is (obviously) making the paper for all the wrong reasons, and at 0-3-0 coming in, Captain Razoky’s Green would need to will their way to a Week Five win, or find themselves (already) teetering on ‘must win out to make the playoffs’ territory. Captain Joel Gattey’s Lime had cobbled together a 0-1-2 record coming in, but with their lone loss coming to a stout Blue side, their first tie coming as the result of Captain Karns’ late game heroics in Week Two, and their second tie coming against the now 3-0-1 White, it was clear that those two points were well-earned and to be respected. Still, a win for Green would move them ahead of their color cousins, and provide the extra security of what might be an important head-to-head tie breaker come late March. Joe Malki put Lime on top at 4:56 in the first, with Captain Gattey providing the lone apple, but Captain Razoky’s second of the season brought Green even at 1:47 (Andrew Jacobsen). Not all goals hit the same, and a goal scored late in a period is always extra impactful. Joe ‘Mr. Impactful’™ Malki delivered just that for Lime, notching his second of the game with just 0:28 on the clock to give Lime back the lead going into the second. It was another late period goal…another late period Joe Malki goal…his hat-trick-capping fifth of the season coming with 1:15 to go in the middle frame to provide some padding for Lime just prior to the second period break. Jordan Pynn’s goal at 3:41 in the third (Sean Bathgate & Vance Morra) had this one sliding toward a fourth straight Week Five rout, but Eli Schonbrun (Brendan Jew) restored at least some measure of respect for Green in another losing effort, this time a 4-2 Lime squeeze. Matt Henderson (18/20) improved his personal record on the season to the proverbial ‘sample platter’ 1-1-1 with the win, while Chuck Bender (20/24) and Green now find themselves the only team without a point in the standings at the halfway point in the season. They will likely need to capture eight of the remaining ten points available in their schedule, and as cruel fate would have it, their first opponent is Captain Copp’s 4-0-0 juggernaut, Orange.

The final hope for a Week Five hand-wringer came in the nightcap, but with Captain Rob Gaudio’s Blue coming in at 3-0-0, and Captain Shawna Hamon’s Brown down at 0-3-0, the odds and the aura suggested another one-sided win would be in the making. To add further shine to Blue’s prospects for staying perfect, this game would serve as the grand finale for Kyle Snyder…easily one of the best players this league has ever seen. Snyder would no doubt want to go out in a blaze of glory, perhaps capping his career with another first-star-worthy performance in leading his team to a fourth win in as many tries. Kalen Hunter had other ideas, and those ideas began at 8:39 in the first, as he opened the scoring (from Weston Oakley and Jim LaGrossa) and…with apologies for the CAPS, but sometimes life warrants it…gave Brown their SECOND GOAL AND THEIR FIRST LEAD OF THE SEASON (!). I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge that this was Oakley’s first career SDFHL point…CONGRATULATIONS, WESTON! Hunter would strike again just seven…correction…SEVEN seconds later, with an unassisted effort, the logistics of which I am still trying to piece together. Just like that, the uber-underdogs had the upper hand, and seemed well on their way to a much needed win…perhaps even a lopsided win, since all the cool kids are doing that in Week Five. A scoreless first saw more strong play from Chris Tran in his sub stint for Sean Kelly, and Tran (20/20) would stick the landing on the clean sheet, besting long lost cousin, Don Tran (14/17), and keeping Snyder and the rest of Blue’s battalion at bay from start to finish. Hunter, meanwhile, became the fourth hat-trick-haver of the week, pushing Brown’s lead to three (Captain Hamon) to stay with 7:04 to play. The 3-0 win is beyond big for Brown, as it not only keeps them paced with the rest of the precarious playoff potential pack, but also provides some much-needed confidence heading into the second half of the season. That second half kicks off for Brown with a crucial showdown with standings neighbors, Black, while Captain Gaudio and Blue will look to fend off their sister shade (Flint), and get back on the winning track with Jason Remple joining the ranks to replace the departed Kyle Snyder. Kyle…we wish you all the best in your post-SDFHL life. You have been a pleasure to have in the league, your skills are inspirational (and devastating…won’t miss that) and you know who to reach out to for a Thursday night booking whenever you might be in town…

Captain Joel Gattey’s ‘Malkiwis’ came into Week Four play with the early season blues, having lost their opener to Blue (4-2), and having lost a third period lead to Flint Blue (4-4). The lone point was something, but still stung, and Lime was hungry to get their season on track with a first win against Captain Zach Siemer’s ‘Siegulls’. Probably (if not definitely) the last person a struggling team wants to see warming up between the pipes at the other end…Silas ‘The Silencer™’ Perks. Perks appeared to be in prime form in White’s first two outings, although the second of their two wins coming in was really more about an under-powered opponent (Brown mustered just six shots) than Perks’ trademark prowess. Lime would surely prove a bigger challenge for the studly shot stopper, and Captain Gattey’s crew was ready for the reciprocal challenge of finally pinning an L to his line, and earning their first W in the process. A scoreless first saw Lime on the front foot, outshooting White 6-3, and while the shot trend continued in the second (13-7 in Lime’s favor), it was White’s Steve Linke who would be the first to find twine (3:36 from Jon Zygelman). The shot total was extremely lopsided in the final frame, with Lime racking up ten to White’s ONE, but per usual, The Silencer™ was stealing the show, and had White primed to steal two points. Joe Malki finally broke through for Lime with just 1:25 to play (Jordan Pynn), salvaging another precious, but painfully-difficult-to-procure point for Captain Gattey’s still-winless side. Perks (28/29) was the obvious choice for first star in this one, while a nearly-one-third-as-busy Matt Henderson (10/11) was relieved that his personal record was spared a second loss in as many tries. The 1-1 tie is exactly the kind of score that SDFHL oddsmakers would have predicted for just about any game involving White this season, but Captain Siemer and his crew are having the first laugh (at the very least) now at 2-0-1. Lime sit just above the cutline now at 0-1-2, and will have to hope that their streak of tough luck comes to an end against Captain Alan Razoky’s 0-3-0 Green when league action resumes on February 16th.

My personal assessment of teams, be it fresh off the draft, or after a week or two of live play, is typically not so great, but having seen Captain Jeremy Copp’s Orange play twice (once as a referee, and once as their opponent), and having two eyes, a Flint Blue roster, and at least a loose sense of SDFHL player skill levels, I had the two teams in the second game of Week Four pegged as two of the best. At the very least, I figured this game would prove/disprove my theory about their respective Cup contender statuses, and/or would be a good early season ‘measuring stick’ for the two sides. Owen Perks put Orange up at 3:37 in the first with his fifth on the young season (from Brother Silas™ and Matt DeBerry), but Captain Karns answered at 2:18 (Dan Jurgens) to keep things knotted through one. It’s worth noting the Flint Blue managed to keep both the score even and the shot count close (7-8, in Orange’s favor) in spite of killing two overlapping penalties which gave Orange forty-eight seconds of five on three play. The shot count was dead even (five apiece) in the second, but Chris Fiore was the only player to make a shot count, putting Orange back in front at 6:21 (Silas Perks & Shelby Shattuck). The third period saw the teams trading punches, but with something of a quirky twist thrown in, for good measure. Matt DeBerry shored up his second star honors with his first of the season to put Orange up 3-1 (Silas Perks), and not long after John Boddy responded for Flint Blue to cut the lead back to one at 3:37 (Ryan Loughran & Jurgens), Captain Karns’ & Company were forced to pull their goalie to push for the tie. Silas Perks found the empty net to ‘ice’ the game…but Boddy struck again with 0:29 on the clock (Luke Wolmer), leaving the outcome of the game in question to the final buzzer. Mason Holcomb (16/19) and Orange would hold on for the 4-3 win, with the Silas Perks owning the very rare stat of ’empty-net game-winning goal’. Nick Meglich (14/17) was certainly solid in the losing effort, and again, boasts the very rare distinction of posting the losing line that actually matches the goals-allowed of his winning counterpart…bizarre! So, while my acumen may not always be accurate, and in spite of their dissimilar records through the first third of the season, I am standing by my contention that both of these teams are top Cup contenders. I for one am anxious for the playoff rematch, if nothing else…

It is no surprise that the two total goals scored for Captain Hima Joshi’s ‘Zero Dark Birdy’ in their first two outings translated into an 0-2-0 season start. What is surprising is that this was NOT the lowest goals-for total in the league…a distinction that did (and still does) belong to Captain Shawna Hamon’s Brown, who have managed just ONE goal through now three full games. Captain Chad Goins’ ‘Chadinals’, by contrast, had racked up a respectable seven goals in their first two weeks of play — three in utter vain in a 7-3 opening week boat race loss to Pink, but two of their four in a 4-3 win over Green coming in a rousing rally with just 1:09 left to play. Black had a ‘strength of schedule’ argument in their favor coming in, having played Blue (now 3-0-0) and White (now 2-0-1), and the chance to play a team with a few weak spots and a loss on the books was a welcome relief. Jon Salt converted that relief into pure confidence for Black, breaking the scoring seal at 9:20 in the first with his second of the season (Eric Willard), but Josh Tran responded for Red at 7:30 (William Teglia), locking the teams in early to what looked destined to be a high-scoring dog fight. Eric Willard put Black back on top with a solo effort at 4:35, and the dead even shot count in the first (8-8) seemed to indicate that we would, at the very least, likely be in for a close contest in this one from start to finish. Brennen Abel equalized for Red with 1:45 remaining in the second (Teglia), and just when it looked like things would remain tied going into the third, a super strange/fluky/unintended ricochet goal found the netting behind Will Heinl to make it 3-2 in Red’s favor with just ten ticks left before the second intermission (credit on the goal going to an unsuspecting Jackson Tomaszewski). It was more early period punch from Jon Salt in the third, with the sublime sniper lacing home an unassisted strike to bring Black level at 9:31, then Salt once again to complete the hat trick at 3:37 and finally wrest the lead back for Black, 4-3. Heinl (21/24) would make that 4-3 score hold up for a Black win, their first of the season, and the first of his SDFHL starting goaltender career. CONGRATULATIONS, WILL! Chuck Bender (13/17) absorbed the loss in Jon Cima’s stead – it would be his first of THREE games played on the night…we all owe this man a big thank you for his selfless devotion to the league!

If you can’t beat ’em (on the court), at least put the smack down in the ‘best team name’ competition. Captain Shawna Hamon’s Brown certainly ‘can’t beat ’em’ so far this season, with just one goal-for coming into their match with Captain Bryan Ossa’s Pink, but when the veteran captain dropped ‘Turds Of A Feather’ on my desk last Sunday afternoon, I knew her team would have at least one ‘big win’ this season. Frankly, this season’s crop of names are not exactly tough to beat, but this moniker (apparently owing its birth to one Greg Francisco), coupled with the team motto/chant of ‘stink together’…*chef’s kiss*. At the risk of appearing biased, the team with the second best name this season was Captain Ossa’s pride and joy, the ‘FlamingOssas’. By the starkest of contrasts, Ossa’s club had amassed THIRTEEN goals in their first two games, seven in a win over Red, and six in a one-goal loss to Orange. Spoiler alert…the contrast between these two teams’ offensive output get much starker in Week Four. The return of Andy Strathman and Kalen Hunter to Brown’s lineup, and a very-much-on-form Sean Kelly made for a scoreless stalemate through the first period and a half of play, with Pink having nothing to show for their very convincing edge in shots (23-6, through the first two periods). Josh Wirt would finally break the seal at 5:33 in the second (Carl Vankoughnett), and Vankoughnett followed with one of his own at 3:32 (Pat Gladstone & Wirt), just twenty ticks before Wirt struck again (Sadie Hellstrom) to put Pink up 3-0 in three blinks of an eye. The initial scoring spate left the floodgates ajar, and four more goals in the third would burst them wide open and flush Brown down to another humbling loss…Carl Vankoughnett from Elyse Shattuck and Wirt at 6:33, Wirt from Hellstrom and Vankoughnett at 6:13, Wirt from Mostafa Azab and Mark DeGraffenreid at 3:08, and Will Heinl from Vankoughnett at 0:39. The 4 and 2 effort from Wirt and 2 and 3 line for Vankoughnett has the duo sitting at one and (tied for) two in the scoring race, while Pink’s team total TWENTY goals through three games is certainly an eyebrow-raiser for future opponents. Chuck Bender (11/11) kept Brown’s season goal total at ONE with a shutout in his second sub stint of the night, while the 7-0 Pink win somehow made a very sharp Sean Kelly (27/34) look rather pedestrian. Needless to say, ‘Turds Of A Feather’ will need to find their scoring touch in short order, starting with their Week Five showdown with Captain Rob Gaudio’s undefeated ‘Blue Jays’ (quite possibly dead last in the team name race, if it is any further consolation to Captain Hamon). A loss, let alone another shutout loss, will go a long way to assuring that Brown ‘stink together’ all the way to the playoff scrapheap.

Another SDFHL Sunday, another blue-green clash on the slate. Captain Rob Gaudio’s Blue opened the season with a 4-2 win over Lime, and Lime would go on to suffer a heartbreaking 4-4 tie at the hands of Flint Blue in Week Two. Rains washed out what would have been a break from the blue on green crime, but Week Four brought the color rivalry back into focus with Captain Razoky’s Green hoping to find their first win of the season against Gaudio’s undefeated flock. While this game marked the end of just the first third of the regular season, another loss for Razoky & Company would certainly have them in a deep hole. Conversely, a third win to open the season would have Blue already in striking distance of the typical eight team playoff watermark of nine points. Captain Gaudio put his team out front first at 3:09 in the first, converting a Tony Thinh pass into paydirt, and Kyle Snyder doubled that lead with an unassisted end-to-end rush with just ten ticks remaining in the opening period (always a back-breaker). Green rallied in the second, flipping the lopsided shot count (11-5 in Blue’s favor in the first…then 13-3 in Green’s favor in the second) and finally cashing in against Don Tran to cut the lead to one. I never thought I’d see the day my fingers would type the words ‘we had an Andrew Jacobsen sighting’…as the perennial super star sniper finally registered his first of goal (and point) of the season at 1:22 in the second (Jason Northrup)…a good indication of why/how this team has struggled to this point in the proceedings. Blue’s one goal edge would hold strong over the ensuing ten minutes of play, and Ralph Feuer would deposit an insurance marker with just 0:23 remaining (Trevor Vick). I checked…this was NOT an empty-netter…just a very late goal to make the final score 3-1, Blue over Green. The result sees ‘the rich’ (Blue) getting richer, while ‘the poor’ (Green) see their playoff prospects get poorer, but (as noted in the headline blurb) Blue will be losing their first round stud, Kyle Snyder, after their Week Five match with Brown (talk about ‘poor’). It remains to be seen whether the Board will find a replacement for Snyder that comes anywhere close to his level of skill and scoring prowess, but Captain Gaudio’s team can take solace in the fact that they are already a near lock for the playoffs at this point.