Captain Kerri Sevenbergen’s Purple, and Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft’s White both took the ‘fits and starts’ road to Week Three of the playoffs, with each team managing just one two-game winning streak coming in, and (consequently) neither team looking like much of a genuine threat to make a deep playoff run. True to form, both teams had a lopsided win, and a narrow defeat in the books coming into their third at-bat, and with elimination on the line, there would be no ‘bounce back’ opportunity for the losing side this time. Patrick Theis was the busier of the two goalies in a scoreless first period, stopping all twelve shots he faced while watching his team muster just five at the other end, but Purple would find their offensive footing first…in the second, with Jon Salt putting the five seed on top (from Mark Nagy and Eric Willard). A newly reborn Jim LaGrossa answered for White with just 0:23 to play in the middle stanza (from Brennan Abel), setting the table for a dramatic third period. The drama raneth over into overtime, with both sides unwilling to budge, but equally unable to overcome with a regulation game-winner in a stalemate final ten. The overtime was short and sweet for Purple, and short and bitter for White, as Salt tucked home a loose ball (from Janine Ulloa and Willard) to send White home, and send Purple on, 2-1. Patrick Theis (24/25) is really starting to show more signs of his father, Alex, and I am not just referring here to his meticulous goal post alignment ritual prior to each period. He is coming into his own, and Purple will need his best to survive a two game Losers’ Bracket gauntlet with Charcoal and Royal Blue in Week Four. Chuck Bender (15/17) and White become the third playoff castoff with the tough loss, ending their season of ups and downs on a particularly crushing down.

While the second game on the slate lacked the edge inherent with an elimination match, the intensity (of which there was plenty) was driven by the ticket to the Final, dangling in wait for the winner of this high powered showdown. The power came from rather unlikely sources for both teams in the first period, as Ramsey Ksar cashed in his first goal of the season to put Silver in front bright and early in the first (from Zach Salt and Sadie Hellstrom), only to have Captain Janet Biggerstaff Goins score her second of the season (from Eric Herrmann and Carl Vankoughnett) five minutes later to level set the ledger going into the second. The rest of the game was more usual-suspect-laden, with Salt (from Justin Ker) restoring Silver’s lead with the lone second period goal, then Ker soloing one of his own to put Silver up 3-1 with just over half a period to play. Eric Herrmann cut the lead to one less than two minutes later (from Ty Pereira), and Glenn Pinto brought Royal Blue all the way back to even (from Vankoughnett and Herman), notching the rare third goal against Silas Perks, and giving his team hope of a comeback coup. The scene was set for one last episode of ‘Herrmann’s Heroics’, as the supernatural sniper looked to go out with an OT titan toppler in his final SDFHL game (yes, folks…he is moving out, and moving on), but…no. Turning back to the ‘unlikely sources’ theme, it was Arnold Gonzales chipping home the kill shot (yes…his first of the season) with 1:26 to play to send the top seeds to their destined destination…4-3 Silver over Royal Blue in OT. Silas Perks (22/25) allowed three, but held firm when it mattered most to collect his tenth win in thirteen outings this season, while Patrick Theis (15/19) was solid, but not show-stealing in a sub stint for Nick ‘Magic’ Meglich. Both teams remain alive in the quest for the Cup, with Royal Blue rested and ready for the winner of Charcoal v Purple in the three team repechage rumble on June 4th, while Silver have the holiday weekend, and Week Four to rest, recover, and refocus on the ultimate prize. I just want to thank Eric Herrmann for gracing this league with his incredible talent, and (at least as importantly) his calm, cool, sportsmanlike demeanor. Our best to you, Eric! You may have only been a part of this league for a short time, but your legend will live on in Karl Strauss war stories for years to come…

Silas Perks…Silver’s shining shield…regular season MVP…hard to beat once, let alone twice, let very much alone thrice…the new gold standard in SDFHL goaltending. Kalen Hunter is not impressed. He made a fat wad out of all of that laud and threw it on the ground. For those of you who missed Hunter’s Week Three act…it was shocking…it was awesome…it was shock and awesome. The speedy Young Canuck™ sniper made Silas look very ordinary, starting with a streak down the right side, and a lightning quick snap over Silas’ shoulder to put Charcoal in front early (from Jackson Tomaszewski). He wasn’t close to done with just the one, as he ripped home another with 0:50 left in the first (from Chris Tran and Shawna Hamon), then ANOTHER at 0:36 to play in the opening frame. That’s some straight cold-blooded ninja shite right there…dropping a hat trick on ‘the guy’ in one period…*shudder*. Owen Perks converted a nice pass from (who the F else…Hunter…second to Parsa Mostafavi) to make it 4-0, but the score might as well have been 85-0 at that point, as ready and rolling as Captain Hamon and her henchpeople were from the start. Just for good measure, it was Perks from Hunter again…a gorgeous passing play to cap a 5-0 flex to eliminate (and humiliate) a shell-shocked Aqua. Don Tran (14/14) was hardly tested in his shutout showing, while Silas Perks (19/24) was left shaking his head and tipping his cap to brother, Owen, and fellow Young Canuck™, Kalen, in a fill-in firing squad foray for (traitor) Chris Tran. Melissa Busby did absolutely nothing once again, but was awarded a pity third star as part of my pre-emptive campaign to avoid being cancelled. Captain Steph Palomo Schmidt and Aqua become the fourth team in the second season recycle bin, while Charcoal will look to lean on their youth and overall fitness to survive a back-to-back battle royale with Purple and Royal Blue in Week Four.

Playoff action commences after the Memorial Day Holiday. Enjoy the long weekend, and enjoy the tournament, if you are planning to come out and play!

Bad breaks are a part of life, and certainly a part of sports. Captain Wendy Enright came into the season with a bad break waiting to happen, with goaltender Cory Brin’s health questionable (at best). When it became clear that Brin was a no-go, Zach Siemer was brought on to permanently patch that roster hole. Siemer was great, and Olive went on a hot streak that ultimately landed them a four seed in the playoffs. Meanwhile, one of their top picks in London Peters had reinjured his recently-surgically-repaired knee just as that hot streak was getting started, and with the word coming through that he would need more surgery just before the playoffs began…enter, Patrick Walker. Walker played just one game with the team (a playoff loss to Purple), before reinjuring himself. So, hobbled, but hopeful, Captain Enright’s crew sought to defy the roadblocks continually placed in their path, and overcome against eighth-seeded Aqua. It was the captain herself (with assists to Gary Peters and Tomáš Jankovic) putting Olive out front in the first, tucking home a rebound in one of many (MANY) frantic crease scrambles in front of Chris Tran throughout this one. David Schlatter brought Aqua back level forty seconds later, but a crazy deflection own-goal (credited to Erin Dowrey, with assist to Josh Tran) put Olive back up one through one. Marc Lapointe had a questionable goal disallowed, but then cashed in one that counted to even the score again (from Captain Palomo Schmidt and Brian Sheptycki), but it was Dowrey again restoring the lead (this time a non-own-goal, with help from Will Heinl). The third period was all Schlatter, as Aqua’s superstar put two solo efforts past Siemer (20/24) to tie the score, then give Aqua their first lead, then pad that lead with two empty-netters, for good measure. If you’re scoring at home, that’s five Schlatter goals in a 6-3 final, Aqua eliminates Olive. Chris Tran (26/29) was harried from start to finish, as Aqua just could not find a way to clear their zone, but he held the fort, and Aqua hold on to move on to face a charged up Charcoal in Week Three. In a fun little twist, Tran is a member of both teams. He will be suited up and playing out for Charcoal, but does so in a unique no win/no loss situation. Congratulations to Olive on an amazing season of overcoming, and best wishes to Erin Dowrey, who is moving on to bigger and better things in DC. Erin, you are a class act, and will be missed!

The second game on the slate was an ‘upset’, by virtue of seeding, but the lead up to this game shows that it probably played out as you would have expected. Captain Leah Gonzales and her sixth-seeded Maroon got smacked around 5-1 in their playoff opener against number three Blue, while White nearly pulled off the biggest Week One coup, falling 1-0 to number two Charcoal. Still, attendance issues can often throw a wrench in expectations, and the word on the street was that both Steve Linke (extreme old age), and Phil Nguyen (lingering concussion symptoms) might be on the shelf for White in this one. Not only were both present and accounted for, but a tried and true difference maker made his first ‘real’ appearance of the season, as well. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back to the league Mr. Jimothy LaGrossa! A perennial top ten scorer, LaGrossa came into the playoffs having recorded zero goals, and just two assists in eight games. It was the ‘new hotness’ who kicked off the scoring for White, though, as Brennan Abel provided a solo penalty kill punch, but four of the remaining five White goals came courtesy of the Ghost Of LaGrossa Past. His first tally came in the first (from Andrew Wong and Vance Morra), with Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft padding her team’s lead with just three ticks left in the period (from Abel). It was LaGrossa again in the second to make it 4-0 (from Abel and Linke), then (*sad trombone*) the lonely Maroon response from Chris Malki (from John Boddy) to close out the second with White in front 4-1. Without son Joe in the lineup (speaking of attendance wrenches), Chris and crew would put nothing more past Chuck Bender (16/17). LaGrossa double-dipped in the third, with the first coming from Abel and Ruchhoeft, and the second a solo effort to close out a big game for Big Jim, and a big win for White, 6-1 over Maroon. Captain Gonzales group become the second playoff casualty with the loss, while White hope for more LaGrossa heroics against a tough Purple side this Sunday.

As the evening shifted to the top seed tilts, the winds of parity blew in out of the east, sweeping tension and apprehension across the strained faces of determined competitors, glistening with the dew of effort, and evincing the effort to do whatever it takes to win (how’s that for ‘poetry in motion’, kids?). First up was the #2 Charcoal versus #3 Royal Blue, which lived up to the billing as a surefire epic between two high-powered teams. Royal Blue carried the swagger of a 3-1 regular season win over Charcoal with them into the rematch, but it was Charcoal on the board first, with Mark Ennsmann converting a Kalen Hunter pass into pay dirt. I am having a bit of trouble reading the second assist on this goal…maybe….Martha Buzzard? Megan Busper? I’ll move on…no one really cares about second assists, anyway. It was (who else) Eric Herrmann who would provide the response from Royal Blue in the second (from Nik Thompson), and the rest of regulation belonged to Charcoal’s Don Tran and Royal Blue’s Nick Meglich. Neither goalie would budge, and an OT period was also a blank for both sides. The first shootout of the Winter 2023 playoffs was truly one for the ages. When Kalen Hunter tucked his leadoff attempt past Meglich, it (must have) seemed likely that Charcoal’s time to shine had come. Spoiler alert…that would be the only conversion that ‘Magic’ would allow! Carl Vankoughnett gave his team life with a third round green dot, and it was a vast sea of red x’s on both sides thereafter. Finally, in the TWELFTH round, Nik Thompson lit the lamp, and lifted his team on to the Winners’ Bracket Final. Obviously, a huge round of applause and many, many pats on the back were in order for both goalies in 2-1 shootout win for Royal Blue, but Meglich’s efforts were (by all accounts) legendary. He stopped 15/16 in regulation/OT, then 11/12 in the shootout against a murderer’s row of shifty snipers. Don Tran (19/20 + 10/12) was certainly no slouch, but this is just one of those ‘SOMEBODY has to lose’ situations, and it was Tran’s turn this time around. Royal Blue now move from facing the second seed to the first, as they will square off against Silver this Sunday with a berth in the Final at stake. Charcoal will look to regroup, and avenge a 4-2 regular season loss to bottom-seeded Aqua.

Salt v Salt…the sibling rivalry that begs the question…can’t they just both lose, somehow? No…they can’t…they have been on separate teams since a failed experiment back in Zach’s first season. So, one of these two has to win, but…that means one also loses! It’s an emotional rollercoaster for me just considering the outcomes of anther Salt shakeup, but…consider the outcomes we must. A scoreless first saw Silver’s last line of defense the busier of the two tenders, as Purple brought an all out attack out of the gate, racking up eleven shots to Silver’s three. It was more or less more of the same in the second, with Purple pouring in another twelve to Silver’s seven, but one of those seven found a home in the netting behind Patrick Theis. It was the younger Salt doing the damage, with the insult to injury being that it was a short-handed strike (from Arnold Gonzales). It was not only a SHG, but it was a GWG…that’s right…the only goal of the game, and the only goal that presumptive league MVP Silas Perks (28/28) would need…the man is on another level. Patrick Theis (12/13) was saddled with the loss, but it was more Perks’ win than Purple’s loss…let’s be honest. The 1-0 end-around has top-seeded Silver right where the math has told us they belong, in the Winners’ Bracket Final against Royal Blue this Sunday, with a ticket to the Final in the balance. Purple have to feel proud of their effort, but equally purple-xed by what they could have done better in this one. They will have to regroup and exorcise their offensive demons in the Losers’ Bracket battle dome, starting with a rematch with White, whom they boat raced 6-1 back in Week Eleven. So, the league can rejoice in knowing that Week Three of the playoffs finds us all with the ability to once again root against both of the Salt Boys™….huzzah!

Both Captain Leah Gonzales’ Maroon and Captain Wendy Enright’s Olive rolled into the final week of regular season play knowing that their playoff passports were already set and stamped, but it never hurts to have a bit of momentum going into the second season. Maroon looked to build off their Week Thirteen waltz past a beleaguered Black, while Olive looked to rebound after their six week lossless streak was pitted the week prior by a desperate Aqua side. Josh Wirt opened the scoring in the latter half of the first (from Will Heinl and Gary Peters), and doubled Olive’s lead early in the second (this time from Peters and Heinl). Joe Malki halved Olive’s edge minutes later (from Jeffrey Henderson and Ryan Karns), and Karns would go on to notch a second assist on sub Janine Ulloa’s early third period tally (first assist to Chris Malki) and the lone assist on John Boddy’s game-winner at 7:18 in the final frame. Boddy provided the helping hand on Ezra Cohen’s insurance marker at 5:11, and Steve Deppensmith (7/9) literally could not lose at that point, as Olive was credited with just one shot in the third (!). Zach Siemer (27/31) deserved better than the 4-2 loss, but continues to look very strong since coming on board full time to replace Cory Brin midway through the season. The win bolstered Maroon’s playoff position to the six spot, while Olive merely ‘stayed put’ at the four seed, in spite of the loss. It’s very important to note that Olive managed a very impressive resurgence from 0-2-0 to 5-4-1 in spite of being without their second round pick, London Peters, for all but four games this season. With London officially back on the shelf with a re-torn MCL, Patrick Walker steps in to provide some playoff punch, starting with a Week One match with Purple. Maroon will look to avenge a 5-2 Week Six loss to Royal Blue when playoff action commences this Sunday.

Without question, Captain Audrey Stratton’s Silver squad has been THE story of the regular season. A sparkling 7-0-2 record had them pulling into the final week of regular season play with the top seed already on ice, and only their lossless luster at stake against an inconsistent Purple pack looking to make a late splash, serve notice with a ‘statement’ win, and improve their second season stock. If the relatively low stakes for both sides didn’t sell tickets, the promise of another Salt Bros™ showdown would. One problem…only one Salt Bro™ was present and accounted for. Plan C…fans would surely want to see Silas Perks in action. The unquestioned occupant of the goalie iron throne would surely end his magical season with more magnificence…right? Brandon Olsen was the first to shout ‘wrong’ in response, putting Purple on the board in the first (from Mark Nagy and Weston Nawrocki), and Trice Harvey’s first career cash-in (CONGRATULATIONS!) from Nagy and Jon Salt put Silver in a very unfamiliar place…down two. Justin Ker (from Sadie Hellstrom and Matt Gottfried) and Alexis DaCosta (from the same dynamic duo) restored balance to the game and the scoreboard, but the sole Salt made his presence felt again (from Eric Willard and Nagy) to make it 3-2 Purple through two. Sadie Hellstrom leveled the ledger again early in the third (from Joel Gattey and Ker), and as the clock wound into the final minutes, it looked as though Silver would indeed complete their wire to wire L-free campaign. After all, Perks had only allowed as many as two goals (never more) in the same game three times this season, making Purple’s three bagger already ‘over quota’. Eric Willard converted a Jon Salt pass to quash that quota, and give Purple a 4-3 edge. Salt added an empty-netter (from Nagy) to make it 5-3, but Alexis DaCosta (from Kevin Dinino and Ker) kept it spicy to the bitter end with an answer at 0:02 to play. The frantic finish was a remarkable twist to Silver’s scintillating season, as their lossless run was snapped with just 2:48 to play in a ten game span. The 5-4 win for Purple pushes them to the five seed, and while the win comes with something of an asterisk (no Zach in Silver’s attack), it is still a huge hat hanger going into May play. As noted, the loss merely tarnishes Silver’s sterling record, but they maintain their catbird seat, and look to bounce back form their only loss to date in a meeting with the eighth-seeded Aqua.

Captain Shelby Shattuck’s ‘Black Widow’ has been dead and buried for what feels like two months. After failing to score a single goal in their first five games, they clawed and crawled their way forward through the second half of the season like an extra on ‘The Walking Dead’. Their final week of play finally arrived, and at 0-8-1, with absolutely nothing to play for beyond pride and a love of the game, you had to figure they would go out the way they came in…with a whimper. Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft’s ‘White Hot Flashes’ proved ‘unkillable’ through their first six games, avoiding loses with remarkable last minute (and last second) escapes, but they finally got in touch with their mortality with two losses in the three games leading up to the final week of play. They looked to right the ship, take the ‘auto win’ over Black, and snatch the three seed and some momentum in the process. A scoreless first bled past, followed by a scoreless 6:09 in the second. Lo and behold, it was Black who struck first, with Jordan Pynn creating and finishing his own chance to put the underdogs on top. Brennan Abel answered for White a minute and change later (from Captain Ruchhoeft and Geoff Downes), setting up a third period for all the marbles (however insignificant the marbles). Matt Henderson (18/19) was great again…poor guy has been swabbing the decks and polishing the rails of the Titanic all season, and his efforts FINALLY paid off. It was Justin Stege with 2:49 (from Harsh Wanigaratne and Pynn)…his second of the season, and Black’s FIRST GAME-WINNING GOAL OF THE SEASON! Honestly, it was great to see…a team with no reason left to fight fighting to the very end, and ending a very low season on a nice high note, 2-1 Black over White. If you’re scoring at home, Stege’s goal tied him with Pynn for the team scoring lead with two. Only two other players had a goal (Matt DeBerry and Alan Razoky), for a total of six goals in ten games. While this will go down as one of the most offensively challenged teams in league history, this win buoys them above the ‘worst team ever’ waterline, for sure. Chuck Bender (11/13) absorbed his third loss in four games, and White back into the playoffs as the seventh seed at 4-3-3. They will need to switch back to ‘unkillable’ mode when they face a stout Charcoal side in their playoff opener this Sunday.

Red (AKA ‘Maroon 2: Electric Boogaloo’) trod a similar tragic trail to Black this season, but Captain Emily Bennington & Company did manage a Week Thirteen coup that gave them five points and (at the time) a chance at a last gasp playoff redemption. Captain Steph Palomo Schmidt’s Aqua promptly snuffed out that flicker of hope with a stirring comeback win over Olive in Week Thirteen, leaving Red in the same ‘already dead’ boat as Black going into the final week of play. Unlike Black, Red could still play spoiler in this one, with a win over Aqua leaving the door open for Tropical Blue to sneak into the eighth and final playoff slot. Aqua needed anything but a loss to (finally) punch their playoff ticket, and preserve any measure of momentum and confidence going into May. With the Gaudio Bros™ out of the lineup, Aqua hoped they might only need one goal to seal the deal. They got that one with 0:55 remaining in the second, as David Schlatter danced in, and juked and jived his way to a pretty breakaway goal. Brian Sheptycki had the lone assist on what would be the lone goal in the game, as Chris Tran (19/19) and Aqua’s defense kept Red’s remaining offensive threats at bay to secure the 1-0 brow-wiping win. Tran’s season has been overshadowed by Silas Perks’ heroics, but a .915/1.75/2 SO season line is, to quote Larry David, ‘pretty…pretty…good’. It was a double whammy loss for Nick Vacchio (9/10)…just another loss for Red, of course, but the Aqua win slammed the playoff door shut on his other team, Tropical Blue, as well. So…two teams…no playoffs for Vacchio, while his counterpart hogged all the playoff pride with both Aqua and Charcoal advancing. Making the playoffs is great and all, but it is certainly going to take a stronger effort than a one goal wiggler from Aqua to replicate Purple’s feat against Z Salt, ‘The Silencer’, and the rest of Silver this Sunday…

So, unlike so many seasons past, the final game of the Winter 2023 season ended up meaning absolutely nothing to either side. Tropical Blue had just watched as their playoff coffin was nailed shut, and Charcoal had no chance of moving up nor down from their seat in second place. At least there were still two stories in play at the player level…would Owen Perks rack up enough points to tie, or even topple Eric Herrmann for the scoring title, and would Melissa Busby continue to be the the stubby, superfluous appendage on the fist of fury that is Charcoal? I am sure I don’t need to tell you that the latter came to fruition…Busby has made zero impact in three games since joining the team…not a shock. Perks did get on the board in the first, but it was two minutes for hooking, which is not what he had in mind. Meanwhile, Ryan Loughran laced a wicked wrister past Sean Kelly to put Charcoal in front (from Chris Tran and Jackson Tomaszewski), and Kalen Hunter’s solo effort early in the second gave the favorites a 2-0 lead. Nick Vacchio continued to shine in the dark for Tropical Blue, notching his seventh of the season to cut the lead to one, but it was Hunter again to restore the two goal lead going into the third. Owen Perks recorded the primary on that second Hunter strike (Chris Tran had the second apple), but that would be all the scoring he would do in this one, as he finished the season with the silver in the scoring race with twenty points (13 and 7). Sean Kelly (17/21) was darting and sliding and breakdancing, and otherwise standing on his head, but alas, this game was a microcosm of a season lost for Da Kid…even when he had his best stuff, there was just not nearly enough in front of him. Captain Shawna Hamon put her stamp on the scoresheet with another sweet, sneaky wrister that slipped in near side (from Hunter), capping a comfortable 4-1 win for her team, and giving them some extra playoff steam. Don Tran (11/12) netted his sixth win of the season, and finished third in the goalie ranks with an impressive .898/1.63/2 SO line. All the pieces are there, and Charcoal look to make a deep playoff run starting with a repeat of their Week Thirteen 4-0 winning feat against White in this Sunday’s night cap. Sadly, Tropical Blue’s final game would also be the final game for Captain Kyra Forsyth, who is now off to pursue her PhD in sunny Indiana. We wish her well, and hope she comes home to play with us again at some point. Best wishes and safe travels, Kyra!