The bottom seed in any playoff picture is expected to have an uphill battle just to survive an early exit, let alone make any real progress down the path to the promised (to someone else) land. That hill becomes a sheer, icy cliff when you remove the team’s biggest offensive weapon for the first two games of a double-elimination tournament. Captain Rob Gaudio’s gang fought valiantly in their playoff opener against top-seeded Teal, in spite of the absence of said scoring stalwart, Josh Wirt, but Teal’s weapons abound, and John Boddy ho-hummed a hat trick to bounce Blue to the the edge of elimination. Captain Carl Vankoughnett’s crew fell 3-2 in a fun and frantic first game, with #5 Grey producing the lone Week One upset to put Yellow in the same leaky boat as their Week Two opponent. With Wirt once again out of the lineup for Blue, and Yellow benefiting from a fairly sizeable upgrade in nets, it looked like the higher seed would be rowing on to higher seas with relative ease. Jim LaGrossa put the favorites in front late in the first (from Brennan Abel), Captain Carl doubled the lead early in the second (from Elyse Shattuck), and Abel made it 3-0 Yellow early in the third (Arnold Gonzales). All hope seemed lost for Blue, who were heavily outshot and outplayed throughout, but Captain Rob was not going down without a fight. He broke the shutout at 7:49 in the third (from Bryan Ossa), then cut the lead to one at 6:17 (Tim Hamon) to give Blue more than a glimmer of hope with ample time on the clock. Alas, Nick Meglich (7/9) did not see much from there out in his fill-in stint for Jon Cima, and Chris Tran (25/28) was too busy being bundled in goalie gear and saving sizzling shots to score a tying goal for his side (slacker). Captain Carl ultimately iced this one with an empty netter (Abel), capping a 4-2 win for his side, and popping a cap in Blue’s playoff ass in the process. Yellow must now gear up to face their first higher-seeded opponent, the highly-motivated and high-octane Olive. The regular season matchup between these two was way back in Week One, and…well…a lot of goals were scored. Olive prevailed 8-5 back in late June, but this is early October, and months matter…(I have no idea what that means…just sounded cool, I guess).

Isn’t it just the way with life…you scratch and bite and scrape and scrimp to make it, and just when you’re walking through that door to your goal…SLAM! I mean, my recent SDFHL life has been more like standing shivering in the freezing cold, looking through a frosted window at playoff teams feasting and singing happy songs around the fire, but…I digress. Captain Sean Bathgate’s ‘Puffy White Shirts’ are the ones in the door metaphor…rising from the dead (1-5-1 with two games to go) to pull off back-to-back must-wins and make the playoffs as the seven seed. SLAM…a 5-2 opening loss to powerhouse Olive…but the door to the Cup lay still slightly ajar as they regrouped to face partners in parity, Purple. The two met in one of the wildest, most entertaining games of the season in Week Six, with a last minute Ty Pereira strike putting Purple over the top, 5-4. Captain Sev Brown’s ‘I’m An Eggplant’ experienced a more subtle, polite door closing in their opener, with Red’s Jon prevailing over Purple’s Zach 3-2 in another installment of The Salt Shaker™. So…one door…two teams…both hoping to be the slammer and not the slammee. Captain Sev Brown grabbed the knob first (TWSS) at 8:50 in the first (from Trice Harvey and Erin Plone), both teams were jambed up from their until the latter half of the third. That’s when Captain Brown struck again (Pone and Zach Salt), “a sweet backhand by Sev on a ball that found him by himself in front, top shelf over the glove” (so says my secret on-site source) to give his team a 2-0 lead and really ready the slamming hand with time running down. Chris Tran (13/13) did the other half of the slamming honors, exorcising his Blue demons in a sub shift for the ever AWOL Syd Costello, and helping Purple to a 2-0 elimination win over White. Captain Bathgate & Company…you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is…never try. When one door slams, another swings open, and Purple will hope to pilot through another portal and avenge a 5-2 Week One regular season loss to Grey this Sunday.

Week Two of the playoffs typically features at least one heavyweight matchup…and this was it. Two of the top regular season teams…tons of scoring and playmaking on both sides…two outstanding goalies…this was THE game to see. As mammoth as this matchup was, and as much as it looked to meet or exceed the on-paper hype, I’m honestly a bit weary of typing up these recaps this season, especially after another clunker campaign for my team. So…I am going to lean on the words of my secret on-site source to tell the tale of Red v Olive. Maureen Ruchhoeft (from Captain Geoff Downes) put Red in front bright and early at 8:36 with “a put-back off a rebound, after she just missed moments earlier with a wrister”. Greg Wirth (from Alexis DaCosta and Wendy Enright) equalized for the two seeds less than a minute later, with our reporter, well, reporting “I thought the second goal was Alexis, so I was surprised to see Wirth here, but…this was a wild and lengthy scramble around the net that he eventually poked in”. Mark Ennsmann opened the scoring in the middle period on “a breakaway…looked like he went five hole” (from Captain Downes). Kyle Snyder knotted things at twos later in the second (from Wirth), with a “goal that was like most…he burst by the defense, cut in to goal front, and put it by Silas”. “Alexis’ goal (from Captain Tyler Winstead and Chris Tullio) was from in close after a failed clearance. It looked like it was deflected off the defender’s stick and over Silas’ shoulder” to give Olive their first lead, 3-2. Enter, Jon Salt. “His first goal was a quick shot from inside the yellow, dead middle after a turnover at the red line by Olive while trying to carry the ball out of their zone. He beat Matt low to the stick side” to tie this thriller at three apiece with 3:18 to play. Both Matt Henderson, (20/24) in a fine fill in foray for Don Tran, and Silas Perks (17/20) kept the balls at bay through the remainder of regulation when…re-enter, Jon Salt: “His OT goal was a failed sky ball clear by Olive, dished to Salt who had a tough angle on the right side (about at the top outside of the faceoff circle) and looked like a wrister high past the glove”…that’s the game…4-3 Red in an overtime thriller that was all it was cracked up to be. I always love hearing that a great game featured great sportsmanship, and our reporter confirms that this one was a “very even game…clean…back and forth”. Both teams remain alive in the playoff picture with Red looking to punch their ticket to the final Sunday in a showdown with top bananas, Teal, and Olive hoping to stay alive and un-alive Yellow in their first Losers’ Bracket battle.

Captain Ryan Karns’ Teal may well be one of the biggest ’embarrassment of riches’ rosters the league has ever seen. Legendary, shutdown goalie…check. Ridonkulously swift and skilled strikers…double check. Gritty veteran defense with a Calgarian cannon ready and aimed…check. Great supporting cast…check. Captain Zach Siemer’s Grey is no sack of potatoes, either, so you figured your ticket price to this one would pay off in at least a few highlight reel goals and high fives….NOPE. It was a goalie duel from ball drop to final tick tock, with Sean Kelly (26/26) doing (surprisingly) more than twice the work at his end through regulation and overtime. Perfect is perfect, though, and Matt Henderson was half as harried, but equally flawless, stopping 12/12 to force the first shootout scenario of the Summer League 2023 playoffs. In spite of the lack of scoring, it all sounds like a great game to me. Our reporter disagrees, calling it a ‘snoozefest’, and sputtering out a few brief chunks of color such as “Grey had the most shots, but most were of the easy-to-stop variety. Sean did make some really nice saves during scrambles near the net, though”, and “Schlatter hit two pipes during regulation…it was mostly him going one on three, and he was pretty good at it, to be honest…but Grey’s defense was strong.” Whatever the opinion of the level of play through regulation and overtime, it was on to the shootout, where “Alan’s goal was low stick side corner” and “Janet’s clincher I completely missed! (though, there was a recording by Nadia)”. Really, secret reporter…you missed the best part? I’ll see if I can get that footage to share with you all, but I can confirm that Alan Razoky and Janet Goins were the only two scorers in the shootout, which meant that Teal prevailed 1-0 to advance to the Winners’ Bracket finals on the unbreakable back of POTW honoree, Sean Kelly. A matchup of Teal and Red is a surefire sizzler, especially as these teams tied 3-3 back in Week Four of regular season play. That is definitely the game to watch this Sunday, but Grey will be watching the waning moments of that one before warming up to defend their playoff lives against Purple. Two more teams will be thrown on the scrap heap this week, and one team will earn a Week Four bye and a trip to the big dance…don’t miss it!

The final week of the Summer League 2023 season kicked off with a clash between the two top teams, Olive and Teal. It’s incredible that the schedule (with some help from the lone rainout this season) saved the battle of the best for last, but it’s a bit ironic that this titanic tilt was also the only truly ‘meaningless’ match on the final Sunday slate. Both Captain Ryan Karns’ Teal and Captain Tyler Winstead’s Olive came in with a record of 6-1-1, so beyond regular season bragging rights, pride, and posturing, little more than the top playoff seed was on the line. A scoreless first was a testament to the two great goalies represented on these rosters, with both Don Tran and Sean Kelly deflecting double digit scoring chances through the first ten minutes of play. It was Captain Karns who would break through first, with assists to John Boddy and David Schlatter, to put Teal on top at 7:27 in the second. Schlatter would follow with one of his own just over a minute later (from Boddy), but Nick Vacchio gave Olive some life with just 0:33 to play in the middle frame, cashing in what has to be a career high eleventh goal to cut the lead in half (from Captain Winstead and Alexis DaCosta). Teal’s roster is so loaded that you almost forget about a veteran stalwart like Alan Razoky. He made sure Olive would remember his name, as he struck for two goals in the third (the first from Schlatter and Joe Nguyen, and the second from Vinny Santora and Captain Karns), building Teal’s lead to three with just three minutes and change to play. Kelly (24/25) would hold on to win the goalie duel, secure the 4-1 Teal win, and celebrate his team’s finish atop the regular season standings with a final record of 7-1-1. Don Tran (26/30) absorbed just his second loss of the season, but never looked off the form that found his regular season numbers right there with the ‘elite’ goalie tier (.914/2.00/3 SO). Teal will hope for a repeat defeat of eight-seeded Blue this Sunday…a team they managed to prevail over 1-0 in Week Seven, in spite of a number of key absences (Boddy, Schlatter, and Kelly…no big deal). Olive will tangle with the seven seed, White, whom they defeated 2-0 back in Week Three.

The real playoff pins and needles came into play from 5:00 on, with four games straight to decide the fate of the six teams who had yet to clinch playoff passage. Captain Zach Siemer’s team entered the week as the leader of the back pack, and it would take a loss and a lot of bad luck to land them on the playoff sideline, but…math can be a cruel mistress and ‘you never know’. Captain Ian Crooks’ Black had settled all the way to the bottom of the standings at 1-4-3, and only a win and some help would be enough for eleventh hour salvation. Kalen Hunter ripped Blacks’ hearts out before they could even beat twice, racing in off the opening faceoff and scoring NINE seconds in to give Grey what has to be a record for fastest lead in league history. Black would right the ship, and Steve Linke equalized with just three seconds to play in the first (from Mark DeGraffenreid and Stephanie Palomo Schmidt). Sadie Hellstrom flipped the script, turned the tide, and <enter third cliché of your choice>, giving Black a 2-1 lead on the power play at 9:46 in the second (from Captain Crooks and Mark DeGraffenreid). Alas, it would be just Black’s luck that Tom Darlington had just graduated from an intensive three month hockey course (taught by his wife, Janice…of course), and his new skills would translate into his first goal of the season to tie the game with 1:37 to play in the second (from Dan Soar). Soar would cash in one of his own to open the third period scoring (from Hunter) to put Grey back on top, Darlington’s second of the night (this was an advanced course, people) from Hunter pumped the lead to two, and Hunter’s empty-netter sealed the 5-2 win for Grey, and sealed Black’s fate, forever laid to rest in the crypt at the bottom of the Summer League 2023 standings. Matt Henderson (15/17) (shout out for always being the first person to ‘like’ the post announcing that new recaps are up) was strong and steady in the win, while Chuck Bender (12/16) and his mates would find consolation only in their open NFL Sundays for the coming month or so. The win moved Grey well out of harm’s way with nine points (3-3-3), but there was still one last playoff lamb to slaughter, and while this result eased tension for some, there was still wishful work to be done for others.

At 3-1-4 coming in, Captain Geoff Downe’s Red was already seated comfortably in the playoff lounge, with just their final seeding, momentum, and a possible scoring title for Jon Salt on the ‘what’s at stake’ list. Captain Rob Gaudio’s Blue had only just learned that they would survive the regular season. Black’s loss, and the fact that both Orange and White were set to clash in the nightcap (and therefor could not both win) meant that their seven point total entering warmups would be enough…if only JUST enough. It’s a good thing for Blue they didn’t need a win, because they very much did not win…they failed to even keep it close. Red smashed and grabbed their way through the first period, with goals from Mark Ennsmann (Chris Fiore), Geoff Downes, Jon Salt (Ennsmann), and Captain Downes himself (Salt and Ennsmann). The second period was still all Red, with Salt (Downes and Ennsmann), and Rogers (Ennsmann) building the lead to 6-0. Salt (from Fiore) kicked the extra point at 3:04 in the third to wrap the whipping at 7-0, locking in the three seed for Red, and dooming Blue to the bottom seed with the same seven points and two total wins that they had coming in. It’s not often that you see Chris Tran (25/32) touched up for more than two or three, but…it happens. Tran was also slated to sub in nets for both Purple at 7:00 and White at 8:00, so…this was just the start of a LONG night. A shutout can sometimes feel a bit ‘hollow’ when there is a seven spot at the other end, but Silas Perks (30/30) was just as dominant in preventing goals as his teammates were in racking them up. He finished the regular season atop the goalie stats board with a terrifying 4-1-2/.959/0.86/3 SO line…gross. In other chart-topping news, Jon Salt’s hat trick and a helper performance capped a staggering statistical season with 13 and 7 in just SIX games played! Only a handful of players (including little Salt Bro™, Zach) would have a chance to equal or eclipse that total in the final two games on the slate…

Captain Sev Brown’s Purple took the desperation baton for the 7:00 game, needing a win to get in to the postseason through the front door, or a tie, and an Orange loss to sneak in the back door (TWSS). Captain Carl Vankoughnett’s Yellow were in the rare position of being ‘frozen’ in the standings with regular season hockey left to be played. No result could result in any movement in either direction, with Red’s win locking them in at the four seed. Further, Grey’s winning finish meant that the Yellow v Grey matchup was already set in stone for playoff Week One. So, all of the pressure fell on Purple, but Zach Salt (from Captain Brown) and Trice Harvey (Brown and Salt) lowered that PSI with a pair of pops early in the first to give the desperados a dos a cero edge. Purple knuckles whitened and throats tightened as Captain Vankoughnett (Brennan Able and Jim LaGrossa) cut the lead to one at 9:16 in the second, and LaGrossa (Abel) brought Yellow level with 2:13 to play in the middle ten. You wouldn’t think that 2:13 left in a period would be enough time for more than maybe one more goal, but…you’d be wrong. Salt’s unassisted second at 2:05, his third at 1:48 (Wollmer and Captain Brown), and Harvey’s second of the night brought the blitz to bear on Yellow, and put Purple up 5-2 going into the final third. The tides turned again in the third, as an early strike from Elyse Shattuck (LaGrossa and Abel) got Yellow back in scoring form, but all remained calm from there until late in the period, when Captain Vankoughnett’s second of the night (from Mason LaGrossa) cut the lead to one with 1:11 to play. Luke Wolmer put Purple back on top 6-4 at the 0:59 mark, but his effort would ultimately stand as the game-winner after an incredible tic (LaGrossa)-tac (Abel)-toe (Vankoughett) tally capped Vankoughnet’s hat trick at 0:32, and kept the heat on Purple down to the final buzzer. Syd sub, Chris Tran (25/30), and Purple would hold on (BARELY) to a 6-5 win, completing their transformation from ‘dead and gone’ to six seed. Yellow did find some merit to the meaningless loss, with Brennan Abel’s four assists proving just enough to share the scoring title honors with Red’s Jon Salt (CONGRATULATIONS!). Jimm Reifsnyder (11/17) was tagged with the loss, but he was also merely a stand in for this one. He would need to take a short rest, and ready himself for his real game…a winner-take-all showdown with White in the season finale…

Again…it’s as if the schedule itself has a pulse, a brain, and a wicked sense of humor. Final faceoff of the season…two teams with everything to lose and everything to gain facing off under the lights in what is essentially a ‘play-in game’…crazy. Captain Josh Tran’s Orange held a one point edge over White in the standings, with the first ‘2’ in their 2-4-2 record coming in having come off a to-be-expected win over Black in Week Six, and a WTF beatdown of Olive in Week Seven. Anything but a loss in this game would have Orange squeezing through. Captain Sean Bathgate’s White had struggled most of the season, but had pulled the nose of the plane up in Week Nine with a super stunning trashing of top tier Teal. They would still need a win (and nothing less) in this one to survive to the second season. Timing is everything, and Pat Gladstone picked the perfect time for her first of the season…weaving through three White defenders and spinning off another before shaking and baking Chris Tran and finishing with a backhand shelf job! OK…she just tucked home a loose ball that was sitting on the goal line behind Tran after a Justin Stege shot found most of the way through the five hole, but…it counts just as much as the highlight reel jobber would have. Jordan Pynn responded for White two minutes later (from Chris Malki), and Joe Malki put White up 2-1 late in the first (from Papa Malki). A scoreless second meant a tense third, with both Nick Meglich stunt double, Chris Tran (24/25), and Jimm Reifsnyder (16/19) battling hard to give both sides a chance to the bitter end. Joe Malki (from Ramsey Ksar) underscored the ‘bitter’ bit of that phrase for Orange with his second of the night early in the third to give White a 3-1 lead which they would never relinquish. So, like the phoenix from the ashes…White’s rebirth was complete…and Orange’s season turned to ash. The winning coup brought Captain Bathgate’s crew to a closing mark of 3-5-1, good enough for the seven spot. They will look to avenge a 2-0 Week Three loss to Olive when playoff action kicks off this Sunday.

Captain Josh Tran’s Orange had already squeezed themselves back into the playoff picture with back to back 5-2 wins over Black and Olive, and a win over Grey in Week Nine would all but complete their transition from dead and gone to alive and kicking in the playoff mix. Grey entered Week Nine heading the opposite direction, having dropped their previous two games to Blue and Yellow, and finding themselves way too close to the cut line for comfort. So…high stakes in this penultimate fixture for both sides, but as is often the case in this league when two teams REALLY want a win…neither of them gets it. Eric Willard put Grey on top with just 0:34 remaining in the first, with the lone assist coming from Captain Zach Siemer, and Andrew Jacobsen responded early in the second for Orange (from Jackson Tomaszewski) to keep the tension on ten going into the third. Willard’s second of the night (from Rob LaVigne and Tom Darlington) put Grey back on top with 7:27 to play, but Captain Tran had an answer on the power play at 3:12 (from Justin Stege) to knot the score for good at 2-2, and send both teams home with a point, a half-consoling-half-congratulatory pat on the back, and a slightly improved chance to persevere to playoff pastures. Matt Henderson (25/27) faced nearly twice the heat at his end, with his mates mustering just fourteen shots against Jimm Reifsnyder in the absence of the vital likes of Kalen Hunter and Dan Soar. Grey find themselves at 2-3-3 (seven points), and Orange now sit at 2-4-2 (six points). While I have not run all of the possibilities through our SDFHL super computer, I believe that both teams can still miss the playoffs, depending on how the final four games of the season pan out. Of particular importance, of course, is how the two fare in their respective finales, with both teams controlling their own destiny (win, and most definitely in…tie, and almost assuredly in…loss…start hoping). The rub, both teams face hungry/desperate five point teams, with Grey facing off against Black, and Orange capping the season slate against suddenly-wakened White.

The ‘big hurricane’ was something of a fizzle for most of San Diego county, but there was definitely enough rain to wash the Week Eight slate to the end of the regular season schedule. For Captain Ian Crooks’ Black, this meant that their not-at-all-anticipated meeting with Olive would not be one last chance to salvage their sinking season, but rather a ‘let’s hope for a miracle win to ease our minds going into a finale against Grey’ foray. Captain Crooks & Company came out frenetic (yet focused), but ultimately fizzled, and had to take the ‘whip’ in lieu of the ‘miracle’ (I have officially resorted to mayonnaise puns, ladies and gents). Kyle Snyder tucked home a juicy rebound to make it 1-0 Olive late in the first (from Nick Vacchio), and Vacchio cashed in on the power play at 3:19 in the second to make it 2-0 (from Shelby Shattuck and Greg Wirth). Mark Nagy cut that lead in half, and gave the Black bench a big boost with just ten ticks remaining in the middle period, but Vacchio (from Snyder) quickly snuffed that spark, restoring Olive’s two goal edge just over a minute into the third. A pair of goals for Alexis DaCosta (the first from Vacchio and Wendy Enright, and the second from Snyder and Captain Tyler Winstead) put any hopes of a comeback coup out of the question for Black. Don Tran (33/34) continued to crush Olive opponents’ hopes and dreams, keeping Black’s desperate attack at bay throughout, while Chuck Bender (13/18) could only hope for more ‘run support’ while facing nearly half the shot volume at the other end. The 5-1 Olive win was far more lopsided than the run of play would have predicted, but Captain Winstead’s side now find themselves deadlocked at 6-1-1 with Teal, whom the scheduling (and weather) fates would (of course) find a way to match up in the final week of play (surreal). What precious little margin for error Black had coming into Week Nine is out the window now. They must prevail over Grey in their finale, and even then will need some help to find their way into mid-September play.

Yellow and Red met in the middle of the Week Nine set for the only game in which both teams had already clinched a playoff berth. Both Captain Carl Vankoughnett’s ‘Yelloooow, Newman’ and Captain Geoff Downes’ ‘Little Cherry Seinfeld’ found bounce back wins in Week Seven, giving them eight and nine points, respectively, so this game provided a lull in the tension and desperation of the surrounding games. Jon Salt made his triumphant return to Red’s lineup, and made his presence felt with a solo strike just three minutes in. Brennan Abel saw that solo strike, and raised with two of his own to turn the tables in Yellow’s favor, 2-1 through one. Christopher Fiore brought Red back level (from Salt and Kevin Dinino), and both Silas’ sub, Chris Tran (20/22), and Jon Cima (7/9) would hold the line from there to lock in a 2-2 deadlock. Now at ten points (3-1-4), Red cannot improve from their current three seed position, and can only move down to fourth if they fail to beat Blue and Yellow beats Purple. Yellow (4-3-1) can only move up to the three seed (by way of the very scenario I just laid out), but cannot move down even if Blue or Grey tie them in points, as they would still have a higher win total. So, it will be another rather meaningless game for both teams next week from their perspective, but both teams are being counted on by the likes of Black, White, and Purple to play spoiler to their desperate rivals. As such, most of the interest in these games will be coming from the unfortunate teams around or below the cut line…I personally have my Red and Yellow fight flags ready to fly…

The sunset brought a shift back to serious second season striving, as two five point teams battled to find a backdoor out of the basement. Captain Rob Gaudio’s Blue had tight tussles with even the two top teams over the previous four games, but did not quite have enough, losing 1-0 to both Olive and Teal. Wedged between those results were a disappointing 1-1 tie with White, and a much-needed 3-1 win over Grey. Captain Sev Brown’s Purple really hadn’t found their footing yet in a mainly down, sometimes up 2-4-1 coming in. Two points could not put the worries away for either team, but the winner of this game would find themselves very much in the driver’s seat going into the final week of play. Tim Hamon put Blue in that seat four and a half minutes in (from John Gamm), Zach Salt pumped Blue’s brakes with an unassisted effort at 1:48, and Josh Wirt (from Shawna Hamon) revved Blue back to a one goal lead with just 0:37 to play in the first. Captain Gaudio built Blue’s lead to two at 2:43 in the second (from Wirt and Tim Hamon), and that would hold on as the game-winner, with Salt (from Captain Brown and Luke Wolmer) and Gaudio (from Wirt) cancelling each other’s output in the third. Chris Tran (15/17) backstopped the big Blue 4-2 win, while Chuck Bender (7/11) could not find enough stopping power to prevent a loss in the absence of Syd Costello. As noted (ad nauseam) in the earlier recaps, the Week Eight makeup games on September 10th are massive for both of these teams. A single point against Red for Blue will guarantee them a playoff perch, and even a loss might not spell disaster. Purple will need a win and a dash of help to guarantee a spot, but one point would be big, and they can even get in with a loss, provided both Black and White lose. It’s going to be a CRAZY, convoluted Sunday for all but the top four teams…buckle up!

It really pains me when the play in this league devolves into chirpy, chippy, cheap shot chicanery. We have had a good run of good play, featuring good sportsmanship and good will of late, but…then came the Teal v White Week Nine nightcap. Teal came in with very little to prove, undefeated at 6-0-1, and primed to claim the top playoff seed with a win against woeful White, and anything but a loss to Olive in their finale. Captain Sean Bathgate’s team, by contrast, entered at 1-5-1, dripping with desperation, and needing a minor miracle against Teal and a good result in their finale against Orange to have any hope of staying off the playoff scrap heap. So, some ‘heat’ was to be expected in this one, but all accounts have this game slathered in shame, with possible suspensions looming, and a ‘Spirit Of The League’ refresher clearly required. Some actual hockey events took place between the wrestling and whining, as Mostafa Azab put the underdogs on top at 7:43 (from Will Heinl and Sally Jackson). Joe Nguyen evened the score just twenty-nine ticks later (from Joel Gattey), but Joe Malki put White back on top, then padded that lead with a pair of late period strikes (one from Papa Malki, and the other from Azab and Papa Malki). David Schlatter cut the lead back to one with the only goal of the second period (from Nguyen), but that was as close as the heavy favorites would get to maintaining their L-less season. Emily Bennington (from Chris Malki and Brandon Olsen) had White breathing easy again with her third of the season in the third, and the ‘minor miracle’ was realized, 4-2 woeful White over titan Teal. The shocking result keeps White alive to the bitter end, but they will need to take at least a point from Orange, and get some help elsewhere, or that bitter end will merely have been delayed. Teal will no doubt recover just fine from this flesh wound, and it may provide a little extra motivation for Captain Ryan Karns & Company in their final showdown with Olive.

Yellow and Grey met to open Week Seven in a middle-of-the-standings battle that could be either a springboard or a trapdoor for both teams. Captain Carl Vankoughnett’s ‘Yellooow, Newman’ had righted the ship after an 0-2-0 start, rattling off three straight wins before falling to Teal 5-2 in Week Six. Captain Zach Siemer’s ‘Graymerica Industries’ had tread a very uneven path coming in, never having strung together so much as two of the same result, but weaving a cool pattern in the process (W-T-L-W-T-L). The pattern failed them in this case, as they fell through the trapdoor and into playoff peril, while Yellow sprung to reasonable safety in a wild, and somewhat controversial 3-1 win. Grey looked great out of the gate, with Kalen Hunter snapping the first shot of the game over Jon Cima’s shoulder at 9:45 to put his team on top 1-0 (from Rob LaVigne). That would be the only goal of the first, and Scott Wieland would record the only goal of the second to bring things level (from Captain Vankoughnett and Brennan Abel). Abel lofted a lazy ball out of his defensive zone, but managed to put it on net. This negated an icing call, but also (somehow) happened to slip through the pads of Matt Henderson to give Yellow a 2-1 lead. With just 3:36 to play, Grey pressed for the tie, and it looked as though a deflected/seeing-eye shot MAY have found the back bar and out just a minute or so after Yellow’s go ahead strike, but…it was ruled no goal and play continued. Grey had another goal disallowed in the second, after the referee blew the whistle, having lost sight of the (still loose) ball. Goals on the scoreboard are the only ones that count, though, and the scoreboard still read 2-1 in favor of Yellow into the waning seconds of the third. Mason LaGrossa used those waning seconds to net an empty netter, rounding out the scoring, and sending Grey to their first ‘streak’ of any kind…a two game losing streak. Captain Siemer’s crew now find themselves at 2-3-2, just one point ahead of a hungry pack of four teams with five points apiece. They are very much in control of their own destiny, though, with games against two of those four teams to close out the regular season (Black and Orange). A win against either team, or points in both should certainly be enough to punch their playoff ticket. Yellow’s 4-3-0 has them sitting in fourth place, all but assured of a spot in the playoffs, and primed to play spoiler for Purple in Week Eight, and potentially improve their postseason position in their finale versus Red.

John Boddy, David Schlatter, Sean Kelly…the current silver medalist in the scoring race, a perennial score-at-will terror, and the league’s long standing king of goaliedom…all three of these players, plus Joel Gattey and Janet Goins out of the lineup for Teal against Blue in Week Seven. Blue had attendance woes of their own (Captain Rob Gaudio, Bryan Ossa, and a suspended Janine Ulloa), but (with respect), it’s hard to compare to the missing Teal pieces, and it was hard to imagine Captain Ryan Karns’ team finding a way to overcome this significant star power shortage. A scoreless first had Teal hopeful, but Blue had to believe that tired legs would keep their opponent from finding a way out of this match alive. There was still plenty of pep in Joe Nguyen’s step at 6:15 in the second, as he found a hole in Chris Tran’s pads to put Teal in the driver’s seat, 1-0. Nick Meglich (24/24) did his best ‘Da Kid’ impression in this one, keeping Blue at bay, and giving his heavily outgunned hosts a chance to hang on and remain lossless on the season. Teal did just that, milking that one goal lead to the finish line, with a little help from Captain Karns’ junk (third star of the game). Chris Tran (8/9) absorbed the hard luck loss, having faced just over a third the shots his mates managed, but it’s that goals allowed stat that translates to wins and losses, and Teal escaped a short-benched week with yet another tick in the win column, 1-0 over Blue. At 6-0-1, (spoiler alert) Teal now stand alone atop the standings at 6-0-1…now the only team (spoiler alert) without a loss, third in goals-for (23), and first in goals-allowed (7). The results of the 7:00 Week Seven game certainly took some wind out of the ‘Battle Of Unbeaten Beasts’ matchup with Olive this Sunday, but all signs still point to that one being a hot ticket. The loss keeps Captain Gaudio’s team stuck in that aforementioned four pack of five point teams. They will need to have a good showing this Sunday against Red, and/or find a way past Purple in their final game if they hope to see the second season.

It was fitting that Black and White would meet in the one Week Seven matchup that was most clearly a ‘do or die’ duel. Captain Ian Crooks’ ‘Midnight Muffin Monsters’ came in with no wins, with their last non-win coming in a crushing 5-2 loss to (previously un-feated) Orange. Captain Sean Bathgate’s ‘Puffy White Shirts’ entered Week Seven with a win to their name (a 7-4 ambush of Yellow), but the same measly three points as their opponent at 1-4-1. The winner of this game could at least be assured some measure of control over their playoff fate, with five points in the bank and two games to play, while the loser would find themselves alone at the bottom of the pile, in (very) desperate need of two wins, and likely a fair amount of help to find a way through to September play. Mostafa Azab put White in front first (from Chris Malki and Jordan Pynn), but birthday girl (August 12th), Steph Palomo Schmidt, would equalize with 1:19 to play in the opening frame, finishing a gorgeous passing sequence from Rich Shane to Tomás Jankovich to Palomo Schmidt’s back door perch. Jordan Pynn untied the game in favor of White at 4:52 in the second (from Will Heinl), but Mark Nagy brought Black even again just eight seconds later, and a wild series of penalties (one on Black, then two on White) led to a go-ahead power play strike from Dan Jurgens (from Nagy and Gary Peters). Mark DeGraffenreid (very momentarily) found his late 90’s form, weaving past a pair of White defenders, then shoveling a backhand past Nick Meglich to make it 4-2 (from Steve Linke and Peters) early in the third, then Sadie Hellstrom made her return officially triumphant with a pretty tip goal (from Nagy and DeGraffenreid), and an empty-netter in the dying seconds to cap Black’s 6-2 long overdue uprising. Jimm Reifsnyder (6/8) was steady and solid as can be in a fill-in role, while Nick Meglich (15/20) was left hollow, suffering another loss for White after a sparkling shutout performance in relief of Sean Kelly in another win for Teal. The loss has Captain Bathgate’s bunch in a real bind, to say the very least. They will need wins in their final two games, or at the very least a win over Orange this Sunday and some help if they hope to survive. The ‘iceberg, dead ahead’ for White…Teal in Week Nine…yikes. The win for Black, coupled with losses for Blue and Purple, and a shocking (spoiler alert) second win for Orange, has created a log jam of teams with five points apiece. The odds are that three of these four teams will survive, while one will fall on the scrap heap with White (purely making mathematical assumptions here). Depending on tiebreakers and the like, the playoff picture could be mostly settled this Sunday. If the final spot(s) come down to the final week of play, it will be one last summer sweat out for Blue, Purple, Orange, White, Black…and possibly Grey.

We all, of course, know that the Bible is the most famous work of fiction ever committed to paper, but some of the parables and prose can still find real relevance and application in our modern world. Take ‘David versus Goliath’, for instance…the classic example of a lopsided battle “on paper”, with a terrifically twisty result that inspires underdogs around the world to this very day. Captain Josh Tran’s ‘Pulp Can Move, Baby!’ had already begun to bulk up a bit with a huge Week Six win over Black, but they were absolutely still in David mode at 1-4-1, with little hope of defeating Captain Tyler Winstead’s 5-0-1 Goliath with sass and slingshot alone. Mind you, this Goliath had become much kinder and gentler over the past month, having killed just seven local villagers in the that span after laying waste to seventeen the two weeks prior, but even without the bloodbaths and bludgeoning, the Olive trend had been their opponents’ end, and the odds were not in favor of Biblical ‘history’ repeating itself in this ‘lopsided battle’. The combatants wrestled to a scoreless draw through one period of play before David finally landed a shot at 7:39 in the second in the form of Andy Strathman’s fifth of the season (from Captain Tran and Justin Stege). Goliath would exact swift revenge a minute and a half later, with Nick Vacchio continuing to add to his impressive summer season numbers (from Chris Tullio and sub Steph Palomo Schmidt), but this only sent David into flurry rush mode (Zelda reference) with three unanswered goals from Matt Gottfried (Jackson Tomaszewski), Justin Stege (Jeremy Copp), and Tomaszewski (Mike Chiaco) to stun the giant, and leave him reeling in place down 4-1 after two. Captain Tran made it 5-1 early in the third, and Goliath would manage just one more swing of his giant limbs (Kyle Snyder from Chris Tullio) before collapsing atop a row of nearby houses in defeat, 5-2. So, if the Bible has taught us nothing else (and it hasn’t), it’s that you should never give up, and you should always have hope…or…something like that. Orange now find themselves hopeful, indeed, having won two in a row to resurrect their season (that’s a whole other Bible story that I don’t have time for). A win over White this Sunday could be all they need to make it to the second coming (no time), but failing that, they should still be alive to the finish line, where they will meet Grey in a match dripping with playoff implication potential. The loss is certainly tough to swallow for Captain Winstead’s waylaid winners, but they can climb back on top this week with a win over ‘that other Goliath in town’, Teal.

It’s always a sellout crowd in attendance to watch a Salt Brothers Smackdown™, but the scalpers took it on the chin when it was announced that this would (once again) be a low sodium installment. With younger, better looking, better liked, and more skilled brother Zach away, ‘the other Salt brother’ made Purple pay, leading the way for Red with a pair of first period goals and a third period helper en route to a 4-2 Red roundup of precariously-playoff-perched Purple. Salt’s first came at with just 1:40 remaining in the first (from Maureen Ruchhoeft and Christopher Fiore), and a short-handed solo strike with just 0:02 left in the opening stanza. Luke Wolmer was still plenty warm after his POTW performance in Week Six, and he promptly led Purple back with a pair of his own–an unassisted powerplay goal at 8:30, and another lone wolf bite at 6:28 to even the score at two all. Syd Costello (26/30) who was, by all accounts, in beast mode, was busy keeping Purple on track to victory with her trademark acrobatic slides and saves, but Justin Ker made the score sheet (and the Wrong Shirt Hall Of Fame) with the game-winner at 4:44 in the middle period (from Captain Geoff Downes and Fiore). Costello earned a very rare POTW honor for a member of a losing side, continuing to hold her team in under intense Red pressure heading into the final ten minutes of play, but Maureen Ruchhoeft notched her second of the season (Salt) at 8:35 in the third, and Silas Perks (18/20) held the fort at the other end to hang on for a 4-2 Red victory. The win has Captain Downes’ team in third place heading into the final two weeks of play. At 3-1-3, they are very likely already a mathematical lock for the playoffs (but who has time for that math). They will look to improve their position and polish their poise for playoff play with remaining games against Blue and Yellow. Captain Sev Brown’s brigade were (of course) hoping to find a way out of the cut line pack with a Week Seven coup, but will now have to get in the trenches and fight for their playoff lives against those same two teams (Yellow and Blue). A win against Yellow might be enough to get them through, but they will likely remain alive even with a loss, depending how the rest of the ‘Gang Of Four With Five’ fare in Week Eight…