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Last week’s cover team (for all the wrong reasons), Captain Joel Gattey’s ‘Goal-Schlägers’, had nothing to show for the first four games of their season, and nothing but the law of averages, a very good looking roster, and a growing sense of urgency upon which to build any hope (let alone confidence) for a second half redemption. Captain Ryan Karns’ ‘Bar Stool Samples’ came into Week Six having suffered their first loss of the season to Green the week prior, and hoped that a meeting with the only winless team in the league would set them back on the right path at the game five fulcrum. Tim Vick gave Gold just their second opening lead of the season, tucking home a rebound at 6:56 in the first (Matthew Ulloa & Kyle Snyder), and Kyle Snyder quickly reinforced that advantage with his first of the game at 5:19. It was another pair of Gold goals in the second, both courtesy of Snyder who made it 3-0 at 9:22, then completed his hat trick at 2:15 (Steve Pugliese & Ulloa) and capped the scoring in Gold’s 4-0 win over Brown. Don Tran (24/24) was very sharp in a fill-in role for Alex Theis, while Mason Holcomb (21/25) was tagged with his second career (and second straight) loss at the other end. The two game downturn for Brown is certainly troubling, especially when considering they have managed to score just one goal in that span. The hope is that the return of Kalen Hunter this Sunday will give them enough to sneak past a stout Orange side. The win is a big one for Gold, but they are far from out of the woods, especially given that the perimeter of said woods is patrolled by their Week Seven opponent, Captain Jon Salt’s undefeated Heather Blue brigade.

Tanqueray and Solo Cups…a frat party match made in heaven…just add juice. For Captain Mark Nagy’s ‘Do’lo Cups’, that ‘juice’ would take the form of a much-needed win. At 1-3-0 coming in, Red longed to shimmy up the basement stairs to join the real party, and solidify their playoff credibility with the cool kids. The ‘juice’ for Captain Nick Meglich’s ‘Tanqueray & TwoNicks’…just another winning splash to take the edge off the latter half of the season, and keep them in with the really cool kids at the real real party on the top floor. As it went, neither team made a successful juice run, and instead traded straight shots (of gin…*shudder*), puked on one another, then stumbled off to their respective couches to sleep it off. Jordan Kitterman did lose his SDFHL virginity at some point in the middle of the party to give Red reason to raise the roof, but Josh Wirt (Brandon Olsen) killed that buzz minutes later. CONGRATULATIONS, Jordan! To translate for those who hate not-so-thinly-nor-expertly-veiled nonsense, the game would end in a 1-1 tie, with neither team sent walk-of-shaming home, but neither impressing the rest of the throng with an epic naked back flip into the pool. Don Tran (19/20) kept his popularity popping with a second stellar showing (after posting a 24/24 shutout win as a sub the game prior), and Captain Meglich rivaled his rizz (I know…I will punch myself for that…my apologies) with a 20/21 showing. Red will need to pregame hard and be ready to crash Grey’s gala this Sunday, while Green hope to suck down some Lime Jell-O shots and continue their festive foray into the second half of the season.

This season’s installment of the ‘Citrus Squeeze’ had all of the juice that the previous game lacked, and then some. Orange’s early season struggles (1-3-0, coming in) could largely be explained and excused by attendance woes, and even the losses were sprinkled with plenty of peeks at the power that their potent-on-paper roster promised. Lime’s fancy Latin motto is ‘Attendus Atrocious Non Botherus’, and their 2-1-1 record coming in proved that they could hit sets without breaking sweats no matter how light their bench may be on a given Sunday. Lime boasted just ONE player with perfect attendance coming into Week Six, and while that one player (Eric Willard) did plenty of heavy lifting once again, he could not muscle another neon-clad skeleton crew through to a win in this one. Willard did strike first, wasting little time putting Lime in front at 8:57 in the first (Marc Lapointe), but Alan Razoky erased that edge with his second of the season later in the period. The middle stanza saw a six goal scoring bonanza, all kicked off by rookie William Teglia’s first career SDFHL goal. Congratulations, William! Chad Goins and Brennen Abel provided helpers on the milestone marker, and Eric Enciso celebrated the kid’s feat with one of his own less than a minute later to make it 3-1, Orange (Abel & Steve Linke). I want you all to make sure you are sitting down when you read this…Justin Ker was not only in the lineup, but accounted for Lime’s response at 6:29 (Captain Zach Salt & Emily Bennington)! Ker’s appearance shatters the hopes of those who took the under on the Vegas line of 1.5 appearances this season…sorry folks! If it makes you feel any better, I lost that bet, as well. If one is fun, twice is extra nice…it was Teglia again to restore Orange’s two goal edge (Razoky)…no fanfare this time, kid…now it’s just expected. Willard would post his second of the game just nineteen seconds after Teglia’s double dip (Ker & Salt), and Enciso’s second (Steph Palomo Schmidt) capped a crazy flurry of six strikes between the two teams in less than a four minute span. It was a calmer, gentler third, with Willard completing his hat trick with a solo effort to cut the lead back to one at 5:12, and Abel restoring the two goal edge and icing the 6-4 win for Orange with an empty-netter at 0:19 (Palomo Schmidt & Encisco). The result leaves both teams somewhere in the creamy middle of the standings, with Lime at 2-2-1 and Orange at 2-3-0. Call it a hunch, but I suspect both of these teams will find their way into the second season, and maybe even give the higher seeds a run for their money…

With all of the media hype and accolades that swirl around ‘The Silencer’™ and ‘Da Kid’™, there is not a lot of attention left to go around to the rest of the goalies in the league. As such, I certainly would not blame any of you for being ignorant of the fact the Matt Henderson is absolutely crushing it this season. Henderson has proven to be a fearsome force in flourishes throughout his career, but his first four games with Captain Jeremy Copp’s Grey this season are on a new level. With ‘Da Aforementioned Kid’ out of the lineup for Captain Geoff Downes’ White, it would be up to super sub Eric Kroeker to outduel the GOTS (greatest of this season) and carry his temporary host team to a much-needed Week Six win. Jason Lee, one of maybe two or three players in the league who are quieter and less assuming than Grey’s goalie, gave his team the lead with his first of the season at 6:26 (Hima Joshi). That…that was all, folks…just the one ball past Kroeker (12/13), and another donut down for Henderson (15/15) to secure the 1-0 win for Grey, and improve his gaudy numbers on the season to 3-0-1/.971/0.50/2 SO. If you have the SDFHL streaming package, and you watch most (or all) of the games each season, you know that Captain Copp drafted Silas Perks last time around…he was absolutely bonkers, lights out amazing. Perks is now struggling, but Copp has ‘this season’s Silencer’ now…it’s uncanny! The win propels Grey to 3-1-1, just a point off pace-setting Heather Blue at the top of the table. Incidentally, Heather Blue holds that standings edge thanks in part to boat racing Grey in Week Four…the one week that Henderson missed, and the week that accounts for 6/8 goals against for Grey. Captain Downes’ and White will need to find the right kind of consistency this season if they hope to avoid being sucked into the cut line void. The pattern thus far has been L-W-L-W-L…if they get that next W this week against Atomic Blue, they will be back in the hunt, but they cannot afford a run of L’s, at this stage (that would be the bad kind of consistency).

Preseason ticket sales for ‘The Battle Of The Blues’ were through the roof, with the promise of a high-powered offense taking on ‘The Silencer’ in what many may have expected to be a potential Cup preview. The secondary market saw trickles, then floods of tickets over the past few weeks, however, with the recent profound and unprecedented struggles of Atomic Blue’s Silas Perks. Perks has perennially proven to be THE goalie to beat in this league, often carrying otherwise ‘serviceable’ teams to great heights, but back-to-back games with SIX goals allowed meant two straight loss for Captain Rob Gaudio’s gang, and (very) tempered expectations for a competitive clash with Captain Jon Salt’s Heather Blue. Don’t sell that Silencer stock just yet, fickle fans…because it looks like he’s back, and his Atomic Blue mates jumped on his ‘back’ back in this one. Captain Gaudio gave his team their first lead since Week Two with his seventh of the season at 3:51 in the first (Mostafa Azab & Scott Wieland), and Perks was perfect through the first…then the second to keep his team in line for a massive statement win going into the third. Heather Blue doesn’t do losing, though, and Captain Salt saved the day again with 5:44 to play (Ty Pereira), finally solving a reborn, resolute Silencer™ to knot the score at 1-1. That would be the only damage that either Perks (25/26) or Eric Kroeker (10/11) would allow, however, which thrilled fans who held on to their tickets for this one…a tight, tense 1-1 draw. Heather Blue remain the only lossless team in the league with the one point result, and the tie not only stops the bleeding for Atomic Blue, but (much more importantly) serves notice that their biggest weapon (ironically, a shield) is back in the mix.