Unless you skipped the headline blurb, or have a VERY short short term memory, you know that our cover team is making the paper for all the wrong reasons. Their bout with Captain Janet Goins’ Royal Blue kicked off the Week Seven slate, and (again, in case your memory is as tragically awful as the 2022-23 San Jose Sharks) it did not go well for Captain Emily Bennington’s Red side. Scott Wieland did put the winless whelps on the board first at 8:47 in the first period, but PPOTW (the extra P is for pity), Carl Vankoughnett, called…then raised that challenge with his first two tallies of the night to give Blue the lead heading out of the first frame. A scoreless second set up a thrilling third in which we (finally) got our first Rob Gaudio sighting of the season (speaking of people who have disappeared mysteriously). Gaudio’s power play strike at 8:34 was answered just over a minute later by Old Man Vankoughnett, giving Blue back the lead. Hima Joshi entered the fray with her first of the season at 5:29 to re-knot the score at 3-3, but it was Vankoughnett again, this time with the helping hand on Eric Herrmann’s game-winner at 4:02. Nick Meglich (13/16) held strong in nets to earn the 4-3 win for Royal Blue, who improve to 3-1-1 moving into the halfway point in the season. Nick Vacchio’s valiance was once again in vain, as his 26/30 effort was not enough to prevent another hard luck loss. Needless to say, Captain Bennington and Red will need to achieve liftoff ASAP if they want to avoid being grounded for the playoffs. Their season is all but officially on a wing and a prayer as they face a tough challenge in Aqua this Sunday.
The Gift Of The Magi, Romeo & Juliet, Black v Tropical Blue…all tragic tales of ironic fate, each one sadder than the next. Two winless, desperate teams met in Week Seven, and yes, ladies and gentlemen…both teams left winless! The icing on the cake in the rain…neither team scored a single goal. If you’re scoring at home, Black has still yet to score…at all. That’s twelve full periods of scoreless hockey to start the season…not so much as a lucky bounce into the opponent’s net. Tropical Blue has six goals this so far this season, thank you very much, but what they really needed was a win. What both teams got was what the really didn’t need…another non-win. It’s perhaps the most deliciously depressing outcome in league history…mutually assured destruction by way of futility. If you subscribe to silver linings, both teams did earn their first point in the 0-0 draw, with Matt Henderson earning first AND third star honors with an applause-worthy 25/25 sparkler, and Sean Kelly returning to ‘Da Kid’ form with a 13/13 clean sheet. Both teams can also now look down at a team for the first time this season, with Red still stuck in the starting blocks at 0-4-0. There is still time for one or both of these teams to claw their way back into the playoff picture, but math is a cruel mistress, and splitting the two points in this game is really just another loss for both teams…sad.
From have-nots, to haves, the evening shifted to a battle of unbeatens, with Captain Audrey Stratton’s surprisingly stout Silver side taking on Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft’s well-rounded White. Just to complete the ‘opposite side of the coin’ comparison completely, both lossless teams left lossless! Sadie Hellstrom put Silver in front at 6:54 in the first with her third of the season (from Arnold Gonzales and Ramsey Ksar), but Young Canuck™ super stud, Brennan Abel, responded for White early in the second (from Old Man Linke) to put the teams on even footing through two. Ramsey Ksar would notch a second assist on Justin Ker’s go ahead marker for Silver at 7:32 in the third, but Abel was not done contributing for White, this time providing the helper on Geoff Downes’ power play leveler with 3:02 to play. The 2-2 tie was a strong result for both sides (as opposed to the bitter back breaker a one point result was for Black and Tropical Blue). Both teams are now firmly entrenched in the upper half of the standings, and both hold a game in hand over every other team with five points or more. All of that is well and good, but what was GREAT was (once again) the play of Silas Perks in nets for Silver. Perks turned aside 28/30 to remain unbeaten on the season, and untouched at the top of the goalie stats stacks (that one’s for you, Chris). Chuck Bender (12/14) turned in a fine performance at the other end as well, in what continues to be a statement season for the seasoned statesman. His 2-0-2/.871/2.00 line has him third in the goalie parade this season, and he has been a reliable last line of defense so far for a clear contender.
Parity is great and all, but three draws in one night is down right FIFA-riffic. The nil-nil Black/Tropical Blue fixture (love that this is somehow the term for ‘game’ in Britspeak), then the 2-2 Silver/White sister kiss (more fun with slang), then Aqua and Purple completing the tepid trilogy with a 1-1 grinder. If you read the front page last week, or were lucky enough to bear live witness, Janice Darlington scored an absolutely world class goal, wristing home a roof job past Silas Perks (current king of goalie kings) to the jaw-dropped joy of everyone in eye shot. Fast forward to Week Seven, and it was lesser Darlington half, Tom, doing to the sniping, burying a centering feed from Mark DeGraffenreid past Patrick Theis to give Aqua a 1-0 edge late in the first. Seriously, I don’t know what is in the water at the Darlington Manor, but…I need some of that scoring punch. They’re both smart cookies, so they’re probably just watching educational videos on the subject. Whatever the case, it’s working…and working wonders for my assist numbers (which are the only numbers I have). Brandon Olsen would settle the score (for good) in the second, finishing a feed from Jon Salt who had his work boots on for a fair stretch below the goal line to make something out of nothing. Chris Tran (17/18) was sharp as ever, despite coming off a personal two week hiatus to treat his addiction to popping bubble wrap (or vacation or something…I don’t pry), and Patrick Theis made his SDFHL HOF father proud with a brilliant 28/29 outing. Much like Silver and White, the 1-1 tie keeps both teams purring along out of harm’s way, running at the point-or-so per game clip needed to secure a playoff position come late April.
Leave it to Captain Shawna Hamon and ‘CoCoal Chanel’ to call the cops on the raging parity party that was Week Seven. Captain Leah Gonzales and Maroon came into the match looking like confident contenders, but Charcoal has a habit of playing ‘to the pain‘, and making mighty look meek. They added seven goals to their gaudy season stash of TWENTY SEVEN in this one, and have once again forced me into recapping this game with a comma separated list of accomplishments in lieu of my signature flowery prose. Kalen Hunter (unassisted), Kalen Hunter (from Chris Tran), Owen Perks (from Tran and Mark Ennsmann), Perks (unassisted), Ennsmann (from Parsa Mostafavi), Chris Tran (unassisted), and Mark Ennsmann (from Perks). Two in the first, three in the second, and two more in the third to dispatch Maroon with sickening ease, 7-2. Maroon did keep it a game through the first half of the proceedings, as Chris Malki found twine at 0:59 in the first, and John Boddy’s hot hand tied things (VERY) temporarily at 2-2 early in the second. Don Tran (12/14) turned in another winning performance, while Steve Deppensmith (11/17) felt the full sting of a seven spot in the loss. Maroon will have bounce back on the brain this Sunday, as they line up against a 2-2-0 Olive, while Sean Kelly will have to be in full Sean Kelly mode for Tropical Blue to keep Charcoal from hitting the mid 30’s in goals scored through six games…scary stuff, people!