Suff(e)rage

Week 6:

Captain Audrey Stratton’s Silver side has been enjoying lavish meals, afternoons by the pool, and weekly spa treatments at the W Hotel to this point in the season, and several other teams have been racking up points and stashing them in an IRA, or some offshore tax shelter. It’s nice to see teams do well, but we should also keep the less fortunate in mind. Red, Tropical Blue, and Black are now a combined 0-10-0, with Black having failed to score a single goal through three games! I’m not suggesting that these teams are open to charitable contributions, but if they don’t find a way to make ends meet soon, they will all remain below the cut line, with no playoff ballot to cast come May…

Captain Leah Gonzales’ Maroon rolled into Week Six on a…well, roll, having dispatched their last two opponents after an opening week push with Aqua. Captain Janet Goins and Blue came in reeling a bit, having won big in their first outing, lost big in their second, then suffered the lasting sting of a beyond brutal buzzer beater (?) against White in Week Five. Would the waves of woe continue to lash Blue’s shores, or would Maroon experience bad times at the L Royale for the first time this season? A busy first period held no answers, as Eric Herrmann’s opener for Blue was met minutes later with John Boddy’s equalizer, and followed by a Chris Malki strike to put Maroon in front. Nik Thompson brought Blue back level, and the first frame closed at 2-2. A scoreless second period kept the tension tingling, and left both teams primed for celebration, and braced for failure. Enter Erin Plone…scoring her first SDFHL goal at 6:49, on an assist from Kyle Prior to account for the game-winner (CONGRATULATIONS)! If you predicted ‘Plone from Prior to seal Maroon’s fate’, I would like you to buy my lottery tickets, and join me on trips to the casino from here on out. The milestone marker was followed quickly by a contribution from perhaps the most predictable combo in the land (Carl Vankoughnett from Eric Herrmann), then it was Herrmann from Thompson on the powerplay to put the final notch on the 5-2 belt for Blue. Nick Meglich (13/15) jumped right back on the track after the crazy, controversial ending against White that saw his win wiped away, while Steve Deppensmith’s lossless streak came to crashing halt with a 19/24 effort.

Early season losses don’t always spell doom for an SDFHL team. There is often a ‘settling in’ period with the new mix of players, and there may be other factors (attendance being the primary) that can make for a slow start out of the gate. Still, with only ten games on the slate, a playoff team typically needs at least eight or nine points to survive to the second season. That would be something like a 3-4-3 record. Unfortunately for Captain Kyra Forsyth and Tropical Blue, the four in the middle of that string is now firmly in place, after falling flat again in their fourth attempt to fly. Nick Vacchio, who has actually had a downright heroic and impressive season thus far (in vain), got the starving dogs on the board first in the first, but Mark Nagy was quick (:33 seconds later quick) to answer for Purple, making it 1-1 through one. Eusebio Brown found his first of the season (perhaps his career?) from Christopher Fiore in the second to put Tropical Blue back on top in the second, but Purple prevailed with a pair in the third…Weston Nawrocki from Jon Salt to tie it, then solo Salt to win in, 3-2 Purple over Tropical Blue. Patrick Theis (12/14) leveled his record at 2-2-0, bouncing back nicely from a 6-1 beatdown in Week Five, while Sean Kelly (13/16) suffered his fourth loss in what is quickly becoming THE story of the season, thus far. Unfortunately for Tropical Blue, that is a very scary story, and one that is unlikely to have a happy ending. Week Seven finds them in a crucial showdown with fellow winless wonders, Black. A win could be all they need to start trending in the right direction, while a loss…time to start looking into ‘fun things to do on Sunday evenings in San Diego in May’…

Captain Wendy Enright’s Olive was pitted (see what I did there) against two of the tougher teams in the league in their first two weeks of play, resulting in two losses. With goalie Cory Brin still lingering in limbo with a shoulder injury, a significantly short-benched Olive turned to Chuck Bender in Week Five to turn things around…against Tropical Blue. If you read the previous paragraph, you know how that game ended, and with it ended Olive’s winless ways. They hoped to throttle that trend in a Week Six meeting with Captain Emily Bennington’s Red. If you happened to read the headline blurb, you also know how this one ended…with Olive prevailing 3-1 to even their record at 2-2-0, and keep Red in the early season losers’ lounge at 0-3-0. A scoreless first saw Red outshoot Olive 6-3, but super sub, Nick Meglich (13/14), held the fort while his surrogate team fumbled for their offensive form. They found that form in the second period, with Will Heinl (from Jason Northrup and Josh Tran) breaking the scoring seal at 1:20 to play in the middle period, and Josh Wirt following with the game-winner at 0:39 (from Dr. Gary Peters, MD). An early third period strike from Mostafa Azab had Red back in reach of their first positive outcome, but London Peters (from Wirt) sealed the deal, and sentenced Red to another tough loss. At the risk of beating a dying (possibly dead) horse, Red will really need to hit reverse on their current course ASAP if they have any hope of pushing into the playoffs. They face a tough challenge in Royal Blue this Sunday, then another against Aqua in Week Eight. They will need points in one or both of those games, or the season will start to look, feel, and frankly straight up be lost. Olive pull into their bye week at 2-2-0, with Zach Siemer coming in as a permanent replacement for Cory Brin in nets. An even record, a stable goalie situation, a two game win streak, and a rested, recovered team…all good things.

Silas Perks is something special. He was the backbone of Captain Jon Champine’s champion Green team in his rookie season, and he has been about as close to untouchable as it gets so far in his sophomore stint. His numbers (.968/0.67/1 SO) through the first three games of the season are gaudy, but somehow barely illustrated just how dominant he has been. All of this excellence provides a perfect backdrop/amplifier to one of the most badass snipes this league has ever seen, as Janice Darlington caught a pass on the right side, moved in a few steps, and snapped a shelf-rattler over Perks’ shoulder to stun everyone within a five mile radius, and put Aqua out in front, 1-0. Seriously, folks…I get chills thinking about it…it was insane. Unfortunately for Captain Stephanie Palomo Schmidt, that sublime strike was by no means a sign of an unraveling for Perks, but rather the…only goal he would allow all game *sad trombone*. Matt Gottfried leveled the ledger in the second period (from Zach Salt and Ramsey Ksar), and a Benny Hill inspired third period for Aqua meant that the lead, and plenty of insurance would follow, ultimately resulting in a 4-1 Silver win. Sadie Hellstrom tucked home the rare short-handed game-winner early in the final frame, Justin Ker’s furious solo forecheck led to the third tally, and Gottfried capped his night and the scoring with empty net icing. So, once again, Silas Perks (18/19) laughed last and loudest (not that he would actually do that…far to nice a lad), keeping Silver a perfect 3-0-0, and furthering the narrative that he is now the best goalie in the league…indeed, one of the most valuable players in the league, regardless of position. Nick Vacchio (15/18) was sharp, but ultimately at the mercy of the team in front of him…an Aqua side who certainly had moments of confusion and lack of focus. It is the first loss of the season for Aqua, but they will definitely need a better effort against Purple this Sunday if they hope to avoid their second L in as many weeks.

Captain Shelby Shattuck’s ‘Black Widow’, ironically, has no bite at all, let alone a deadly one. While the team is by no means feared/startling/scary like their namesake, their numbers thus far this season are absolutely the stuff of nightmares. Zero wins, three losses, zero goals scored, fifteen goals allowed, and a shot differential of -22…*shudder*. It did not help that the Week Six opponent was the de facto early season juggernaut, Charcoal. By comparison, Charcoal stands at 3-1-1, with TWENTY goals for, eight goals allowed, and a +19 shot differential. To say that this one was lopsided would be like saying ‘Kid Rock is maybe not the most talented dude…his ‘music’ is not the best’ (it would be a massive understatement, lest you are a fan of talentless, stringy haired rednecks). Owen Perks took the torch from his much-ballyhooed bro, notching the first goal at 3:53 in the first (from Mark Ennsmann and Parsa Mostafavi), and Jackson Tomaszewski followed with his SDFHL career first (CONGRATULATIONS!) from Captain Shawna Hamon and Perks to make it 2-0. The floodgates opened in the second period, as Kalen Hunter converted a Tomaszewski feed, Perks’ tallied a second on the night (from Ennsmann), Ennsmann snapped home one of his own, then assisted on Ryan Loughran’s second of the season (with second assist to Captain Hamon). The score after two would hold through as the final, Charcoal over Black, 6-0. Major kudos are due Captain Hamon for moving her most dangerous forward back to play defense for the second half of this game. They did not stop trying, and there was nothing patronizing about the move, nor their play from there out…it was just a small change that showed big sportsmanship…at least in this reporter’s eyes. Oh….look who was filling in between the pipes for Charcoal…Silas Perks! His 13/13 clean sheet clearly wasn’t the big difference in this game, but it did mean another scoreless outing for the beaten and beleaguered Black. Chuck Bender (19/25) took the lumps and the loss in place of Matt Henderson, who is scheduled to return for this Sunday’s big showdown between Black and the only other team with more losses to this point, Tropical Blue. If Captain Shattuck can get attendance from her big pieces, and those big pieces can FINALLY break the scoring drought, it could be the turning point they have been looking for. If not, you can all but consider this spider crushed.