Save Ferris!

Week 3:

Jon Salt’s ‘Ferris Blue-ers Day Off’ is not looking so hot in the early going. Unlike their namesake, however, they do not appear to be faking it. With just two goals, zero wins, and a -50 shot differential (ouchie) through three weeks of play, it may be best for all involved if they just stay home and get some rest on Sundays…

Girl fight!  Tiffany Fox and Melissa Busby squared off in NETS (capitalized for Melissa’s benefit) in Week Three, and the outcome was…predictable.  Fox stopped all fourteen shots she faced, while Busby managed a meager 9/12.  Glenn Pinto accounted for one of the three nicks in Busby’s numerator, and added an empty-netter to really seal the deal.  To be clear, an empty net allowed fewer goals than Busby…just want to be clear on that.  Tim Vick and Mostafa Azab provided the middle scoring layers for Pink, and Dale Stuzka collected two assists in the 4-0 win.  “I guess I am just really horrible at everything I do”, mused Busby after the loss.  Well, she’s certainly not horrible at self-assessment, and that’s…something?

Red stayed perfect in Week Three, improving to 3-0-0 with a 3-0 win over Tie Dye.  Ian Crooks accounted for the game-winner in the second, Joe Nguyen added late third period insurance, and some callous chick ‘scored’ on a poor, defenseless empty net to really rub it in Tie Dye’s innocent faces.  “It was an empty net goal…she acted like she had just won the lottery WHILE having an orgasm.  I get it…you don’t score all that often, but, I mean…have some class”, quipped Connor Miller, who assisted on the ‘big goal’.  Captain Nick Adkins collected his first shutout of the season, dropping his GAA below 1.00 in the process.  Sean Kelly took the tough loss, deflecting 19/21 real shots…the other ‘shot’ was recorded by the aforementioned female player.  To protect her identity, I will refer to her as M Busby.  No, no…that’s too obvious…Melissa B.  Phew…identity…secured.

The woes continued for Captain Chris Tran’s Purple clan.  Tran (25/28) was outstanding in NETS, flashing from post to post to stop first, second, third, and fourth chances on multiple occasions, but White wore him down and out in a 4-1 win.  Brian Sheptycki factored in all four goals for White (2 and 2), including a crucial empty netter with 1:20 remaining.  You know, people don’t get enough credit for empty net goals…it’s really not ‘easy’, folks.  Kim Hernandez was amazing in her return to SDFHL action, scoring the game-winner, and otherwise making Tran’s life a living hell.  Tom Darlington opened the scoring for White, and Danny Antonelli accounted for the lone Purple goal, as the latter sagged to 0-3-0 out of the gate.  Christian LeClair was steady, but underworked in the lopsided tilt, stopping 10/11 to collect his second win of the season. 

Orange may be the fastest and furiousest team in the league this season.  The top line of London Peters, Jet Javelet, and David Bronstein has more speed and energy then a coked up cheetah, and I’ve seen my share of coked up cheetahs, so…I would know.  That line led the way again, with Peters’ 1 and 1, Bronstein’s  2 and 0, and Javelet’s 0 and 2.  Captain Kevin Dinino snapped home the final nail in Royal’s 4-1 coffin, with the only retaliation coming from Steve Goncalo in the third.  Zach Siemer remained unbeaten in his SDFHL goalie career, stopping 6/7.  Royal falls to 0-3-0 with the loss, but the bigger loss in this one is goalie, Alex Theis.  Theis’ blocker hand was crushed by an opposing player (who shall remain nameless) after a scramble in front of the net.  He suffered significant ligament sprains, and will be out for at least a month.  Chris Tran had to abandon his stripes, and suit back up to finish the game for Theis, who exited with 4:13 remaining in the second period.  Orange continued the onslaught when play resumed, racking up 34 shots in the winning effort that leaves them as one of only two teams without a loss through three weeks of play.

Captain Kayleigh Marsolini is…kind of a bad ass.  Having never played a single minute in an SDFHL game, she eagerly volunteered to be a captain.  She kept her hand in the air, even after I explained that she was probably ‘not ready’ to draft a team.  Unseasoned captains have something of a history of being a draft table disaster, and the league had never before allowed a BRAND NEW newcomer to take the reins.  Well, it is so far, so great for the quick study, proving that confidence and determination is worth its weight in goals.   Speaking of goals, the captain herself netted the game-winner – the first of her SDFHL career – in Black’s 4-2 win over previously unbeaten Maroon.   Jim LaGrossa, Mark Nagy, and Dan Jurgens rounded out the scoring for Black, who improved to 2-1-0 on the season.  Oh…small side note…Jordan Pynn has yet to join the team.  Holy hell…maybe Kayleigh is a witch?  If not, she should definitely dress as one for Halloween.  Matt Henderson evened his personal record at 1-1-0 with the victory, stopping 17/19, while Chuck Bender suffered his first loss behind a rather dismal 7/11 line.  Justin Stege and Jerry Gonzales each scored their first goal of the season to build the hope of another miraculous Maroon finish, but it was not to be in Week Three.