Live & Let Die

Week 9:

Staying A-Lime stayed alive in Week Nine, hustling past Purple to save their troubled season. Gold was solid when they needed to be, outlasting Orange to claim the final spot on the playoff dance floor. Pink and Red…crying by the dumpsters. The disco really heats up this Sunday…does your team have the moves to keep up?

Tie Dye saw Black’s AJ, and raised them a BS.  That’s Brian Sheptycki, for those of you who have been under a rock for the past five weeks.  Sheptycki has racked up fifteen points (11 and 4) in that span, powering his team to a 4-0-1 record, and vaulting them into the playoffs as a very dangerous three seed.  Sheptycki’s 10th and 11th goals of the season counted as the game-tying and game-winning markers, washing out Andrew Jacobsen’s early strike, and giving Tie Dye a 2-1 win over Black.  London Peter’s had a helping in hand in both goals, and the soon-to-be-departed Mark Boulanger earned the win with a 16/17 showing.  Tie Dye will face Orange in their playoff opener–the team that served as Sheptycki’s first victim back in Week Five when he dropped 2 and 2 in a 6-2 win.  Black limp into the playoffs, having lost their last two games, including a gut-puncher to Pink.  They face Purple in their opener, whom they defeated by a 3-0 score back in Week Five.  

Captain Joshi & Company’s path to playoff redemption hit Checkpoint White in the final week of play.  Unfortunately for Pink, they did not have ze papers, and were promptly rounded up and executed.  White’s passing and cycling kept Pink spinning and sputtering, and four separate scorers tensed the netting in a 4-1 White on Pink mercy killing.  Carl Vankoughnett, Steve Goncalo, Jordon Pynn, and Quinn Hume each accounted for one goal, with all but the first tacking on an assist, to boot.  Shelby Shattuck collected two assists, and Chuck Bender came within 0:34 of a shutout, allowing just one goal to Eric Willard on the sixteenth shot he faced.  The story for Pink in this game, and indeed this entire season, can be summarized by Chris Tran’s line…39/43.  So, after a heroic 3-2 win over Black in Week Eight had lifted Pink’s playoff hopes high…said hopes were unceremoniously dumped off a cliff in Week Nine.  The remaining results on the night confirmed their impact on the ground below.  Meanwhile, it has been official since Week One that White is the team to beat.  They enter the playoffs to face Gold as the top seed.  At 7-0-2, with a goal differential of +22 (more goals than six other teams have even scored this season), and all the swagger of a champion, they are the odds-on favorite for summer Cup glory.  

‘Stayin’ A-Lime’ earned their namesake honors, and headlines in the process, with a Week Nine must-win conversion over Purple, 3-0.  Joe Malki furnished the game-winner early in the second, and Emily Lincoln and Harsh Wanigaratne supplemented the scoring in the third to save the season for Captain Enright’s brightly-clad gang.  Alex Theis was in top Theis form, stopping 14/14 to preserve the crucial W.  It was Lime’s second straight win, pulling them from a dead-in-the-water three points to a playoff-path-paving seven points.  They enter the second season as the seven seed, and will look to avenge their 2-0 Week One loss to Green this Sunday.  The loss leaves Purple in the four slot.  Captain Salt’s crew will have regular season revenge on their minds, as well, as they square off against Black in the Week One early game.  

Red was up next on the must-win docket.  A victory would vault them past Pink and Gold, assuring them a playoff position even in the (seemingly unlikely) event that Gold rose to a win over Orange later in the evening.  The point was rendered moot, as Red rendered zero goals, and zero points in the standings in a 5-0 swan song loss to Green.  Dale Stuzka paid dividends in his first game since coming on to replace suspended super star, Steve Jones.  Stuzka’s 1 and 1 included an assist on the second of Dan Jurgen’s three goals, giving Green hope that their is still plenty of chemistry in the Green labs as they enter the playoffs.  Mara Bernd’s first of the season rounded out the scoring in the win, Bill Casey collected three assists, and Jurgens added two helpers to his hat trick to give him POTW panache.  Andrew Lockard’s 14/14 clean sheet could be marked with something of an asterisk, given the absence of Red’s biggest weapon, Josh Wirt.  Still, a win’s a win, and Green racked up enough of them to secure the second seed.  They will face the upstart Lime this weekend, hoping to prove that there is playoff life after Jones. 

Captain Janet Goins and Gold stepped out for their warm-ups knowing what needed to be done.  A win meant ‘we’re IN’.  A loss…’we’re OUT’.  A tie would pull them even with Pink in the race to the final spot.  They tied Pink 0-0 in the regular season, would have an identical record with a tie in their final game, as well as an identical goal differential.  They would advance on the FOURTH tiebreaker, which is total goals scored on the season.  So…a tie or better, and Gold could snatch a playoff seed in the (literal) final hour.  Connor Miller helped his team take the ‘better’ option, scoring twice to help Gold to a vital 4-3 win over Orange.  Rookie, Chris Turner, opened the scoring for Gold just 0:25 in, and fans were treated to another rare Kamal Gill sighting, as the oft-AWOL sniper added 1 and 1 to the winning cause.  Rob Sangha served up six PIMs to accompany his one goal, and Jet Javelet and Nick Vacchio helped make things interesting to the end for Orange.  Gold’s careful-what-you-wish-for Week Nine heroics have earned them a meeting with White, who bludgeoned them 5-0 in Week One.  Orange will hope their hit and miss season is due for a hit as they take on the hottest team in the league, Tie Dye.