Last One In…

The mathematical rubber really meets the road in the final weeks of the regular season, with teams cozied along the cut line carefully calculating the significance of win/draw/loss scenarios. Obviously, it is often very important how other teams in similar standings strata fare, as well, but you can’t control the course of another game, so the simplest (and sanest) option is to ‘just win, and hope for the best’. Captain Hima Joshi’s ‘Zero Dark Birdy’ had not been doing much ‘just winning’ at 2-5-0 coming into the first of two weeks of make-up play, leaving them ‘hoping for the best’ (and a little help) to survive to see the second season. Captain Joel Gattey’s injured calf did not keep him from showing up to support his Lime mates in their bid to collect a point (or better) and officially secure playoff passage. A loss for Black would mean a lost season, so it was really ‘just tie…at a minimum’ for Joshi & Company as the ball dropped to open the Week Three Make-Up slate. Papa Jon Salt put Black on course for that much needed result, sniping home his seventh of the season from Wendy Enright at 4:18 in the first. Salt’s goal touched off a wild series of scoring from both sides in the ensuing minutes of play, as Jordan Pynn equalized for Lime at 3:46 (Vance Morra), then Sean Bathgate gave Lime their first lead at 0:22 (Morra)…then Marc Lapointe re-tied the game with just six ticks left in the opening ten (Steve Pugliese & Enright)! So…two to two going into the second…and going into the third…and at the final whistle…no scoring for either side outside of that 4:12 span in the latter half of the first. Both Matt Henderson (20/22) and Chuck Bender (17/19) (in a fill-in role for the globetrotting Will Heinl) were sharp, with the 2-2 tie just enough to keep Black’s playoff hopes alive (pending later results), and just enough to lock Lime in for April games. Black will need Blue to loss to Pink at 5:00 this Sunday, and will need to follow that result with a win of their own over the disaster that is 0-8-0 Green. So, plenty of ‘hope for the best’ left for Black, but it is now a must-win-and-get-help final day of play.

Another team fretting over points and pushing through to the playoffs hit the court next, as Captain Bryan Ossa’s Pink warmed up opposite a skeleton crew showing for Captain Ryan Karns’ Flint Blue. Having just witnessed Black’s one point result, Ossa & Company knew they would be in with a win, and the odds of collecting that win were significantly improved with the likes of John Boddy, Luke Wolmer, and Ryan Loughran (who combined to account for over half of their team’s goals, coming in) not in the Flint Blue lineup. Pink would be without the services of Sadie Hellstrom and the aforementioned globetrotter, Will Heinl, but with their ‘big guns’ (Carl Vankoughnett and Josh Wirt) locked and loaded, this was Pink’s game to lose. Karns’ Krew showed early push, but soon flagged, and Pink began their assault in earnest late in the first period. Josh Wirt found twine at 3:32 (Elyse Shattuck & Mostafa Azab), and Carl Vankoughnett followed just twenty ticks later to pump Pink’s lead to two (Wirt & Captain Ossa). Vankoughnett struck again less than a minute later (2:34, from Mark DeGraffenreid and Pat Gladstone), and with a 13-3 shot count in Pink’s favor through the first period of play, it seemed clear that the FlamingOssas would get the result they needed on this day with relative ease. The action quieted down in the second period, but Vankoughnett’s hat trick capper at 4:47 (DeGraffenreid & Ossa) kept any inkling of a Flint Blue comeback at bay going into the final period of play. That final period saw a fourth Vankoughnett goal (Wirt & Gladstone at 8:10) and a sixth and final goal for Pink, courtesy of Captain Ossa at 7:27 (Vankoughnett & DeGraffenreid) to stick the dismount on a 6-0 playoff-clinching win. Jon Cima (12/12) was hardly tested in a surrogate shutout stint, while Nick Meglich was GREAT, but gutted in a 33/39 losing effort. The win gives Pink two in a row, evens their record at 4-4-0, and takes all pressure off for their regular season wrap against Captain Gaudio’s Blue. The loss for Flint Blue was hardly a playoff positioning hinderance for the presumptive second seeds, and should foster no concern otherwise for Captain Karns’ & Company, given the limited bench and arsenal available in this loss (however convincing).

Black’s non-win in the early game had already unlocked the playoff gates for both Captain Shawna Hamon’s ‘Turds Of A Feather’ and Captain Chad Goins’ ‘Chadinals’, but securing a higher seed and building some momentum going into the first round is never a bad idea. After dropping to 1-3-0 in a Week Five loss to Flint Blue, Red had surged back to 3-3-1 with crucial wins over White and Blue, and an impressive tie with previously-perfect Orange. Brown’s regular season redemption had traced a similar arc, with a 3-0-1 run flipping their season from an 0-3-0 flop to a 3-3-1 fun and gun frolic. With the obvious likelihood of a tie aside, one of these teams would finally forge their way above the .500 mark and move into the upper half of the standings, while the other would have their lossless streak snapped and find themselves in the frantic fight to not face Captain Jeremy’s juggernaut Orange to open their playoff campaign. Pat Gladstone threw the first stone (see what I very lamely did there), playing in her THIRD game of the evening in place of the absent Janet Goins, converting a passing series from Josh Tran and Brennen Abel to give Red a lead at 7:30. Abel would double the lead at 6:04 (Jackson Tomaszewski & Steph Palomo Schmidt) to cap a period that saw the leaders outshoot the trailers 9-2. The shot discrepancy continued in the second, with Red getting the better of Brown by a 10-3 count, but only one of those ten shots, Gordon Schmidt’s second of the season (Abel) at 9:22, found a way past a busier-than-he’d-like-to-be Sean Kelly. Brown pushed back in the third, mustering six shots to Red’s eight, but could find no answer to the three goals already on the books, nor the fourth chipped in by Josh Tran with 5:04 to play (Abel & Greg Wirth). Jon Cima (11/11) collected his second low stress shutout of the evening in Red’s 4-0 win, while Sean Kelly (23/27) and Brown suffered their first loss since a 7-0 Week Four beatdown at the hands of Pink. As noted, both teams are already a go for the playoffs, but both can potentially improve their playoff positioning with a good showing in their respective finales. Red could move up as high as the three seed with a win over Lime and losses for both Flint Blue (Brown) and White (Orange), but could also fall as low as six with a loss and a combination of other results. Brown can climb as high as the five seed with a win over Flint Blue and losses for Lime and Pink, but can also fall into the dreaded eight hole with a loss and a Blue win.

Captain Alan Razoky’s Green have been dead and decomposing for what feels like months. A rough start had them increasingly desperate for better results, but when no saving grace was found, things quickly unraveled. Razoky himself was suspended for two games for conduct in the late going of a particularly lopsided loss to Orange in Week Six, and the games since have generally been lightly attended, almost a bye week for opponents, and just another strike in the loss column in a beyond bleak trudge to finish out the regular season. Captain Zach Siemer’s White was having a near polar opposite experience, living up to their preseason ‘defense wins championship’ billing by having allowed an absolutely anemic EIGHT goals over seven games coming in (contrast that with Green’s thirty-one over that span), only having lost by more than one goal once (a 2-0 loss to Red), and just generally coming into every game with a chance to win. That ‘chance to win’ was (of course) high on this day, especially with Green missing Alan Razoky, Andrew Jacobsen, Brendan Jew, Sev Brown, Kaitlyn Brown, and Audrey Stratton. So, with two female subs plugged in…six total players for Green against a full White roster, eager to collect their two points and stay in the mix for the second seed. Jon Zygelman broke the scoring seal bright and early, converting at 9:25 (Captain Siemer & Vinny Santora), then had seconds with 1:58 to go (Siemer) to give White a 2-0 lead…something that a team backed by ‘The Silencer’™ can almost always count on as a guaranteed indicator of impending victory. Captain Siemer echoed Zygelman’s feat in the second, scoring unassisted at 2:00 and again at 1:31 (Janice Darlington & Tyler Winstead). A 4-0 lead, a 25-4 edge in shots over two periods, one lonely sub on the opposing bench, and a goalie who routinely says ‘no’ to heroic comebacks…just 360 doom and gloom for Green. Eli Schonbrun shone a bit of light into that gloom with 1:43 to play (Chris Tran & Maureen Ruchhoeft), but Scott Wieland’s response just thirteen seconds later restored the four goal edge for Green, and Silas Perks (7/8) and White would wrap the 5-1 win to draw even with Flint Blue in the race for second place. Chuck Bender (29/34) has played every game this season for Green, and is to be commended for standing in and giving his all every week, even when some of his teammates choose to avoid the ugly late stages of a tragic season. Green will close out their season against a desperate Black, with only the hope of avoiding an 0-9-0 season and the opportunity to play spoiler as potential selling points for their dejected ranks. White face the ultimate playoff tune-up in Orange in the final game of the final Sunday of regular season play. While White cannot hope to advance past Orange in the standings, a win would slather Siemer’s squad with a fair spread of confidence going into April play.

While it feels like Green has been dead and decomposing for months, it feels like Orange has had a playoff spot locked in since Week Two. In reality, they have had a spot reserved since their Week Five 6-2 win over Black, which left them the only undefeated team at 4-0-0, and the very clear Cup favorites on the strength of their insane offense and efficient team play. Captain Copp’s creation lasted all the way to Week Nine before conceding so much as a point in the standings, a 3-3 tie with Red, and with the top playoff spot all but guaranteed already, their pair of make-up games to wrap the regular season would be much more about their opponents’ needs than anything else. Captain Rob Gaudio’s Blue certainly had needs after crashing out form a 3-0-0 start to a 3-4-0 record coming into their Sunday date with the resident juggernaut. While they could technically afford to lose a fifth straight, it would put them in a very bad position going into the final week of play, with Black sitting just one point below them with only the shell of Green sitting between elimination and a leapfrog win for Captain Joshi & Company. Obviously, this was not an ideal time to draw Orange as an opponent (not that there is an ideal time), but Blue brought the full roster and all the hope they could muster…you never know. When Trevor Vick gave the desperate dogs the first lead of the game at 3:39 in the first (Captain Gaudio & Tony Thinh), the ‘you never know’ optimism rippled through the Blue ranks, but an Aaron Cooney equalizer at 1:52 (Owen Perks), and an Owen Perks lead-stealer at 1:05 (Christopher Fiore & Cooney) served as an sobering reality check. Owen Perks made it 3-1 at 8:23 in the second with his league best thirteenth of the season (Silas Perks), but Captain Gaudio responded for Blue at 6:49 (Jason Remple) to keep his team close. Close would be the only consolation Blue would manage in this one, as Cooney’s twelfth of the season at 3:46 (The Perks Boys’™) in the second restored the two goal edge, and Cooney’s thirteenth, an empty netter with two ticks remaining, sealed the 5-2 win for Orange, officially locked them in as the top playoff seed, and left Blue in need of points and/or help on the final Sunday of play. Mason Holcomb (10/12) kept his (and his team’s) ledger free of loss with another solid effort, while Don Tran (23/27) and Blue’s fifth straight loss leaves them the coldest team outside of the corpse of Green. Blue face Pink in their finale, and a tie in that match would assure them a playoff berth…even if Black goes on to beat Green, Blue would advance on the head-to-head tie breaker, and even in the case of a three way tie at seven points with Brown/Blue/Black, Black would be out, having lost to both. If Blue should fail to secure a point against Pink at 5:00, they will need to hope that Black finds a way to lose to Green, or Black will be the last team in, and Blue will be, as the headline suggests, a rotten egg…