In A Flash

Week 5:

Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft and her ‘White Hot Flashes’ stayed undefeated by the nanoest of nanoseconds in Week Five, scoring with 0.00000000001 on the clock (give or take) to draw even with Royal Blue, and keep pace with Aqua and Maroon at the top of the standings as we enter the creamy middle section of the regular season schedule…

When the Chris Tran is away, his two team will play (against each other). Captain Shawna Hamon’s Charcoal strutted into Week Five with a 2-0-0 record, having outscored their two opponents 12-4. Captain Steph Palomo Schmidt and Aqua arrived at 1-0-1, with a very meager 4-2 goal margin. With Chris Tran out (for both teams), Aqua turned to Chuck Bender to stop the pack of remaining potent point producers on Charcoal. With the Darlington’s on the ski slopes, and John Hwang still on the shelf with a badly sprained ankle, the odds were in favor of a Charcoal cake walk. Matt Rogers had a rebuttal to that line of logic, pushing up from his defensive position to spin and fire home first blood late in the first period (from David Schlatter and Mark DeGraffenreid). Schlatter was next to play late period hero in the second (from DeGraffenreid and Rogers) to give Aqua a two goal edge heading into the third. Kalen Hunter finally struck back for Charcoal (from Captain Shawna Hamon and Owen Perks), but a (rather controversial) interference call on Hunter led to a power play that saw Aqua restore their two point padding (Schlatter from Rogers and Brian Sheptycki). Owen Perks cut the lead back to one with 1:15 to play (from Hunter and Hamon), setting up a tense finish. The nerves were settled in short order, as Schlatter launched a full court empty netter just fifteen seconds later to complete the hatter and settle the matter for good, 4-2 Aqua over Charcoal.

John Boddy was a badass trapped in the bloated, rotting body of a bad team in his first SDFHL season. While he still managed 4 and 4 in six games his rookie season, it seemed clear that he was destined to break out for real with his first ‘real’ team. Week Five was that big boom for Boddy, and it served as the backbone for a brutal 6-1 beatdown of color cousins, Purple. Boddy put Maroon in front at 5:35 in the first (from Ezra Cohen and Mark Scelfo), and Chris Malki (from Scelfo) doubled the lead to close out the period. It was Boddy, Boddy, Boddy, and Boddy in the second to build the bulge to 6-0 (assist on the second goal of the period to Papa Malki, then Cohen and Hima Joshi on the fourth). It was one of the more ridiculous single period outbursts in league history (obviously), and something of a statement that JB is absolutely a force to be reckoned with this season. In what would amount to little more than a shutout-spoiling ‘remember me’ marker, Jon Salt finally fired back from Purple (from Mark Nagy) to cap the scoring for the second period, and indeed the game. Patrick Theis (19/25) paid Boddy’s pound of flesh, downing the bitter six pack and absorbing his second lopsided loss of the season. Steve Deppensmith (11/12) was near perfect at the other end, anchoring Maroon’s second straight win in style…not bad for a 98 year old 🙂

Silas Perks…are you tired of hearing about this dude yet? Well…do something about it…score more than one (MAYBE two) goals against him…make him look like less of a well-oiled, well-programmed robogoalie. Either that, or shut up, tip your cap, and take your loss. That’s just the option that Captain Emily Bennington and Red were relegated to, after trying in vain to put one past King Silas in Week Five. A scoreless first had Nick Vacchio the (much) busier of the two goalies, as he faced eight shots to Perk’s paltry three challenges, but both backstops held the fort, and held the 0-0 line through one. Zach Salt broke through early in the second (from Alexis DaCosta), and Justin Ker followed a few minutes later (from Salt and Arnold Gonzales) to give Silver a 2-0 lead…a veritable victory death grip with Perks patrolling the pipes. It was Ker again early in the third (from super sub, Deborah Finucane, and Arnold Gonzales), and 3-0 was indeed more than enough to render Red dead at Silver’s hands. Vacchio (18/21) was impressive, and definitely did his job in the losing effort, put Perks (14/14) was perfect, and you can’t win when the opposing goalie is perfect (it’s new math, I think). The win moves Silver to 2-0-0 with just ONE goal allowed so far. The loss drops Red to 0-2-0, with just ONE goal scored so far. These are two teams with very different trajectories through two weeks of play…but, ‘it’s still early’…

Time is a fickle force…sometimes it fans your face with the cool breeze of feathery fortune, and sometimes it just fucks you with a fencepost (as the nuns say). White and Royal Blue experienced both the ‘feathery’ and the ‘fuck’ side of time in Week Five, with the former definitely left feeling fortunate, and the latter, well…you know. It all started innocently enough, with Royal Blue jumping out to a 2-0 lead in the first, courtesy of Carl Vankoughnett (from Eric Herrmann and Nik Thompson), then Herrmann (from Vankoughnett). Steve Linke answered for White at 7:00 in the second (from Brennan Abel), but it was Herrmann again (from Vankoughnett and Greg Wirth) to restore the two goal lead less than a minute later. Abel closed the gap back down to 3-2 at 6:00 in the third (from Vance Morra and Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft), but it REALLY looked like that would hold as the final score, as the clock wound down the final seconds of play. Enter…utter chaos. With White pushing furiously for the tie, and Blue back on their heels, the action packed every tick and tock remaining on the dying clock. Linke loosed a shot with less than five seconds to play…save…FOUR…ball batted about…THREE…falls to Vance Morra…TWO…Morra handles the ball and moves into shooting position…ONE…fires….ZERO? The ball is in the net. The horn is…horning. Confusion reigns. Then the decision from the refs…it’s a good goal….it’s a last second (give or take) game-tying gasp-inducer…3-3 is your final…drive home safely. Needless to say, the hackles were immediately on high for Royal Blue, pleading for a fair application of the laws of space and time, while White could only wipe their collective brows, and thank that fickle force for finding a way to keep them out of the loss column. The one point swing will not likely make or break either team, but I (for one) am looking forward to a possible playoff rematch between these two…I will have my stopwatch and video at the ready.

Captain Kyra Forsyth and Tropical Blue picked up right where they left off prior to their Week Four bye. Unfortunately for them, where they left off was on the losing end of their first two games of the season. Olive rolled in to Week Five with a matching 0-2-0 record, setting up a ‘something has to give’ scenario that both teams hope would swing in their favor. What swung in Olive’s favor was the skilled scoring sense of veteran sniper, Josh Wirt. In fact, it was literally an all-Josh opposition squash in this one, as ‘The Other’ Josh, Josh Tran, staked Olive to an early lead (from Erin Dowrey) and Josh Wirt made it 2-0 (also from Dowrey) to close out the first. A scoreless second, and an early third period Nick Vacchio tally kept the drama in this one down the stretch, but Wirt dealt the dagger at 2:20, then added a pair of empty-netters for good measure to finish with four, and to finish off Tropical Blue, 5-1. Chuck Bender (7/8) was lightly used, but solid in a sub role for the still-injured Cory Brin, and the man really deserves a standing ovation for completing three games in nets in the same night, and finishing with a 2-0-1 record! Meanwhile, the Sean Kelly (18/21) mystery grows along with Tropical Blue’s woes, as Da Kid has hit a skid that has him wallowing in the way back of the goalie pack with the worst numbers (by far) we have seen from him to this point in his SDFHL HOF career. He will need to get right, and Tropical Blue will need to put up more of a fight if they hope to keep this sinking ship afloat much longer…