Hands weren’t wrung, nails weren’t bitten, entire seats in the stands (not just the edges) were utilized, and I would be a bit surprised if much of a sweat was even broken, as the much-anticipated showdown between the two seeds at the top sadly lacked much real snap, crackle, or pop. Captain Zach Salt put the top dogs on top early in the first, and Cory Samuels netted the game-winner early in the second, but the night belonged to Luke Wolmer and Alex Theis. Wolmer assisted on Samuels’ strike, then added two of his own to put the game out of reach in the third. Alex Theis (25/26) has been keeping wins out of reach for teams all season, and he was all the shades of solid to spectacular that we’ve come to expect, in spite of Green outshooting Purple in vain by a count of 26 to 14. Zach Siemer did the only damage to Theis’ sheet, but the wind was well out of the challenger’s sails by that point, and ‘Purple Reign’ went on to a 4-1 win. Purple can now enjoy a week off, already perched in place in the Final, while Green is forced to find redemption in the repechage (flexing my rowing lingo, y’all). I’m not a betting man (OK…I actually really am), but I can’t see any team beating Purple back-to-back to snatch their crown. Whoever makes their way to that point better hope they catch Theis on a bad day…assuming he actually has those…

The middle game had a bit more meat on the bone, as the lowest remaining seeds battled to the (playoff) death. Josh Wirt put White in the lead early in the second, but ‘The Herrmannator’ was quick with a short-handed response. Paul Bright picked a perfect time to score his first career SDFHL goal (CONGRATULATIONS!) to make it 2-1 White, but Eric Herrmann answered back again to knot it at two apiece. Gary Peters was in the box for Herrmann’s short handed strike, and he provided the lone assist on the second, but would take matters into his own hands in the third. He potted the game-winner in the early going, and sealed the (already done) deal with an empty-netter with one second remaining. Herrmann assisted on both of those goals, capping a 2 and 2 night, while Cory Brin (24/26) returned to form in time to push his team forward in the playoff picture with a 4-2 victory. Don Tran (20/23) took the loss, and that loss meant the end of the line for Captain Wirth’s hot and cold White side. Orange will need two bowls of Wheaties this Sunday morning. Should they find their way past Pink, they will need to rally their tired legs, and find a way to overcome a rested and ready Green team.

The Week Three gods saved the best for last, as #3 Red faced off against #4 Pink. Jon Salt had Red in front early (with help from Jeannine Stuzka and Min-Soo Smith), and Joe Nguyen accounted for the lone goal in the second to set up a winner-take-all final frame. It was Salt again to give Red the edge at 4:07 in the third, and the clock was steadily ticking away Pink’s hopes of survival. Incredibly, with just twenty-four of those ticks remaining, Carl Vankoughnett found the equalizer, saving Pink’s season, and stunning Captain Janet’s crew. Jim LaGrossa (reportedly) hit the crossbar with seconds remaining…a few inches lower, and this game would have entered league lore for most shocking and surreal comeback regulation win. Extra time produced no winner, although Red continued to build on their impressive shot advantage…they ultimately had nothing to show for it but a 30-13 ‘win’ in that department. For the first time in this playoff season, it was on to the shootout! LaGrossa found pay dirt in the leadoff spot, and Salt found only frustration. Joe Nguyen and Jon Zygleman traded blanks, and neither Carl Vankoughnett, nor Min-Soo Smith could convert. Andrew Wong failed to score in the fourth slot for Pink, but Vance Morra found a sliver of space in Sean Kelly’s armor to even the ledger at 1-1. Maureen Ruchhoeft missed on her attempt, and then Jeannine Stuzka stepped to center court, DID A FUCKING CARTWHEEL, then…also missed on her attempt (kudos for the entertainment value, Neaners!). LaGrossa…so hot right now, LaGrossa…he converted AGAIN to put the pressure back on Salt, and Salt could not solve Da Kid…game over, 3-2 Pink over Red in a shootout. Wow…THAT is what I am talking about, people! Red are resigned to the playoff roadside with the rest of us losers, while Pink prime themselves for a potential double header this Sunday. If they get past those pesky bottom seeds, Orange, they will need to muster the energy to overcome Green. It will be hard to top this game, but here’s hoping for two great games this Sunday…

The Week Two slate kicked off with the first of two elimination games. Captain Pynn’s ‘Rolling Gladstones’ finally found a full bench at the end of the attendance woe rainbow…but they also found The Herrmannator lurking, poised to propel Orange onward after an embarrassing 5-0 loss to Purple. Eric Herrmann found the net twice before most fans had found their seats, weaving, wowing, and wreaking wrister havoc on Grey’s defense to make it 2-0 less than two minutes in. Grey would find their form, and Kevin Wilkinson found an answer less than a minute later to cut the lead in half. It was Wilkinson again early in the second to bring things level, and Grey really held the better part of the play from there out. The end of regulation came with the score still knotted at twos, but with Grey having outshot Orange by a 31-14 margin. The only shots that count are the ones that go in, though, and Dorothy Kline’s innocent-looking blue line fling found a will and a way to bound in past Chris Tran (12/15) to seal the OT deal for Orange, 3-2. Nick Meglich was otherworldly in a fill-in role for Cory Brin, stopping 30/32 to frustrate, and ultimately finish Grey. The loss lands Grey on the scrap heap with Cream, Blue, and Brown, while Orange live on to face the only other ‘under seed’ remaining, White, this Sunday. Orange tied White 4-4 in Week Four, but it’s worth noting the Josh ‘The Wirtinator’ Wirt was not suited for White in that showdown.

If you were hoping for a Week Two playoff parity party, I sure hope you caught the first game of the evening. The rest…not remotely close. Captain Joe Malki’s Green continued their playoff push by pushing over (then pummeling) White with shocking ease. Chis Malki, Jet Javelet, Chris Malki, Jet Javelet, Jet Javelet, Chris Malki, Chris Malki…two players, seven goals, and a touchdown lead with more than six minutes to play. White could not even muster a token positive from the match, with Nick Meglich giving Josh Wirt nothing to shoot at on a penalty shot in the third. Meglich would earn the shutout on 10/10, while Don Tran (23/30) absorbed the loss, and the brunt of Green’s barrage in the 7-0 slaughter. Chris Malki would finish with 4 and 2, Javelet with 3 and 1 and a loose tooth (after taking a ball to the mouth with six seconds remaining). It’s full steam ahead for Green, as they prepare for the big battle of the bands with Purple. White have a lot of wound licking to do, but they are still alive, and will look to bounce back against a high-powered, but hit-or-miss Orange.

A scoreless first period was as good as it would get for Pink, who left their big guns (twin scoring leaders, Carl Vankoughnett and Jim LaGrossa) in their other pants. This is not a recommended practice when facing any team, let alone playoffs phavorites, Purple. Justin Stege finally broke the seal late in the second, and Captain Zach Salt tacked on the game-winner less than a minute later. Salt would go on to drop a hat trick in the third, Cory Samuels would get in on the goal scoring and goal assisting act, and Stege would pick up two helpers of his own to turn a slow and steady slide to victory into an absolute boat race. Greg Mallinger became the lone scorer for Pink in garbage time, spoiling Alex Theis’ shutout bid (13/14). It was a rare result indeed for Sean Kelly, who was solid, but ultimately peppered and Salted to death (29/35). The 6-1 romp has Captain Salt and ‘Purple Reign’ moving on to face their rivals, Green, with a spot in the Final on the line. A win, and they’re in. A loss…could mean a Salt v Salt Loser’s Bracket showdown…we’re all winners, in that case. Pink will look to make that matchup a ‘what if’, as they turn to face Red and ‘the other Salt’ this Sunday. For Pink’s sake, here’s hoping they bring those big guns…

While not quite the blowout beheld in the previous two matchups, Red’s 4-2 win over Black ‘felt’ pretty convincing. Jon Salt got Red on the board very early (9:15), and had the three seed up 2-0 minutes later (7:19). Andy Strathman responded for Black late in the first, but it was Kim Hernandez with the game-winner, and Salt to complete his hat trick in the second. Strathman cut the lead back to two with his second of the game early in the third, but Andrew Lockard (23/25) stood tall the rest of the way to preserve the 4-2 win, and send Black to their two-and-done playoff exit. Wayne Wong (16/20) put forth a valiant effort in his first season in nets, posting a 4-4-1 regular season record, but alas, his fate, and the fate of ‘Black Slappath’ was signed and sealed with a Salty kiss. Captain Vacchio’s team join Grey, Cream, Blue, and Brown on the playoff sidelines, while Red look to rev up their revenge tour this Sunday versus Pink.

Captain Joe Malki’s band came out smelling like roses in Week One of playoff action, avoiding the upset fate of fellow GNR-themed team, ‘Goins ‘N’ Roses’. Jet Javelet had Green on top early in the first, and Chris Malki doubled the lead early in the second, then assisted on the game-winner seconds later, courtesy of super sub, Steph Palomo Schmidt. Rob Gaudio finally threw a counter punch for ‘Black Slappath’ later in the period, but Captain Joe Malki converted helpers from Pops and Palomo Schmidt in the waning seconds of the second to make it 4-1. Andy Strathman’s marker at the midway point in the third kept the TV audience tuned in, but Nick Meglich (13/15), and Green’s staunch defense would get the job done, and preserve the 4-2 win. Wayne Wong (12/16) suffered the loss for Black, who must rebound or retire in a Week Two matchup with a wound-licking Red. Green move on to face upstart six seeds, White, with their eyes on progressing to the Winners’ Bracket Final.

All this media hype surrounding regular season scoring leader and rookie sensation, Eric Herrmann…and then this. Captain Zach Salt let his stick heat the oven, chop the apples, make the crust, and serve a fat 5-0 piece of humble pie to Orange. Of course, it should not be all that shocking when a top seed downs a bottom seed, but this one was definitely billed as a ‘great, exciting matchup’. Captain Salt scored early in the second, then assisted on Justin Stege’s goal to make it 2-0 through one. Salt shook another into the mix in the second, then completed the hat trick early in the third. Cory Samuels rounded out the scoring for Purple, and Luke Wollmer collect four assist in the beatdown blanking. Alex Theis was Alex Theis, stopping all dozen shots he faced to keep things from getting ‘great, and exciting’, while Cory Brin (13/18) suffered the slings and arrows of a motivated one seed in the loss. Purple strut on to face Pink in…possibly a ‘great, exciting’ matchup…maybe. Meanwhile, Orange will need a return of ‘The Herrmannator’ to continue their playoff push against Grey. This may well be Captain Bill Casey’s final SDFHL game. I love that dude, but I hope it is 🙂

Our Week One ‘cover team’ made the paper for all the wrong reasons, falling to sixth-seeded White 2-0 in a tight playoff fight. Don Tran stood tall to the tune of 21/21, keeping seasoned sniper, Jon Salt, and the rest of Red’s offense frustrated from start to finish. Two scoreless periods rolled by before second rounder, Mark Ennsmann, smashed home the game-winner just over a minute into the third. Scott Wieland recorded the lone assist on that goal, and the last minute empty net insurance from Josh Wirt to seal Red’s fate. Tran earned POTW honors for his heroics, which boosted White to the only upset win of the night, and into the waiting arms of the second seed, Green. Red will look to red-eem themselves against Black, whom they trounced 5-2 in Week Eight.

Red proved that it’s hard to win an SDFHL playoff game, even with the ‘edge’, and even under the best of conditions. Grey was the underdog to Pink, but only based on the head to head tie breaker. Their season finished with a fantastic flurry, and they felt confident coming into their opening round match…until they learned that they would be missing four players, including two of their top five picks. With one sub on the bench, and with no absences at all for Pink, it was going to take a masterpiece of patience and counterpunch for Grey to survive. They didn’t. Jim LaGrossa finally broke a scoreless tie with a post-and-in snipe past Don Tran (filling in for the concert-going Chris Tran). The late second period tally felt at the time like the only goal Pink would need. It was, as the second period was quite quiet, as well, as only a super fluky Carl Vankoughnett bouncer would find twine. Sean ‘Da Kid’ Kelly (18/18) held Grey at bay, removing any doubt that the tide might turn. The 2-0 win for Pink over Grey matches the regular season Week One result for this matchup, and moves the four seed on to face a poised and potent Purple. Grey will hope for more bodies, and at least one goal as they fight for their playoff lives against Orange this Sunday.

You might expect a broken, beaten, one-win team limping into the final week of play to just lay down and die, but Brown gets massive pride points for showing up, and showing Pink a tough game. Captain Joshi’s team was not yet locked into a playoff spot with nine points coming in, but were likely (consciously, or not) expecting to extend, then end Brown’s misery with relative ease. Brian Sheptycki served notice that Brown would not go down without a fight, getting the underdogs on the board right out of the gate. Patrick Walker and Carl Vankoughnett turned the tide to Pink’s favor before the close of the first, but it was Sheptycki again to level the score midway through the second. Vankoughnett netted his second with just six seconds remaining in the second, and as fate would have it, that would be Brown’s fate accompli. A scoreless third period meant that Pink would prevail 3-2, securing their playoff place with the win, and pushing their regular season ledger above .500 (5-4-1). For Captain Goncalo & Company, the loss was as meaningless as any of the other eight they suffered in a very forgettable 1-9-0 campaign. Pink now ready themselves for a Week One playoff match with Grey, whom they defeated 2-0 back in Week Three of regular season play.

The second game on the slate simmered with much more playoff implication that the opener. At 4-3-2, Black was certainly more comfortable than White, whose 3-4-2 meant ‘must win’ (and maybe ‘need a hand’, as well) to get in. Rob Gaudio tightened the jaws and whitened the knuckles on White’s bench with the first strike in the first, but Mark Ennsmann answered almost immediately for White. Ennsmann just kept on ‘answering’, even when Black went quiet. The second period saw Ennsmann’s second, followed by a Jason Northrup power play pushback for Black…then Ennsmann again to complete the hat trick. Ennsmann shoveled another on the pile early in the third, and Shawna Hamon netted an empty netter in the closing minute to complete the 5-2 coup. Hamon and Josh Wirt each racked up a pair of assists to share the offensive load (TWSS). Whoever has the scoring baton on a given night, it really appears that White is finding their form at the right time. This result, combined with a loss by Orange later in the evening (spoiler alert) meant that White would rise to the six seed, and Black would settle as the seven seed. White will look to avenge a 4-1 loss to Red, while Black hope to survive against a motivated two seed, Green, with whom they tied 2-2 in Week Ten.

The middle game on the menu was another meaty slice dripping with playoff possibility. For Captain Ryan Karns and Mötley Blüe, one distinct possibility was missing the playoffs altogether. Even a win over powerhouse Purple might not save Blue from five free Sundays, but a loss would surely spell the end. For Purple, well, winning is their way, and a win would be their way to the top playoff seed. Captain Zach Salt set the tone for the favorites in the first, Raj Cheema responded for Blue, then Janice Darlington said ‘we’ll take that lead back…thanks’ (just like that…I heard her say it). Birthday boy, Justin Stege, had the helper on Darlington’s game-winning tally, and would score one of his own to open the second. Blue pushed the play, but Alex Theis (10/11) stood tall to preserve Purple’s edge. Phil Nguyen grew that edge in the latter half of the third, and Janice ‘J-Dagger’ Darlington sealed off any hope for a safe exit for Blue with her second of the night in the final minute of play. Both Stege and Salt collected a pair of assists to fatten their season totals, and Theis wrapped a wrecking ball season with a line of 7-1-1/.933/1.22/ 2 SO. The 5-1 face smash finally fulfilled Purple’s first place destiny, and flushed Blue out of the playoff picture in the process. Purple start the playoffs with a juicy draw in Orange…a matchup that produced a 2-2 Week Ten draw…WITHOUT Eric Herrmann in the lineup…

The chip on Jon Salt’s shoulder is really threatening to cause him some significant back pain. It’s also doing plenty of damage to Red’s opponents, who have been feeling the sting of his ‘I’m still really good’ campaign for months. He’s still really good, and he had the last laugh (of the regular season) at the expense of his upstart foil, Eric Herrmann. The scoring opened with Salt from Linke, matched just over a minute later by Captain Casey from Herrmann. The second period went Salt (unassisted), Eric Willard (from Herrmann and Dorothy Kline), then Salt from Linke again. The third…Salt from Linke AGAIN, then Willard from Herrmann and Casey, then solo Salt…his fifth of the night. Both teams entered with ten points, but Salt’s scorched earth drive powered Red to a 5-3 victory, and a third place regular season finish. Oh, it also powered Salt himself to a…second place finish in the scoring race…two points behind Herrmann, who appeared in three fewer games. Salt is good, Herrmann is just….gooder. Andrew Lockard (22/25) improved his personal record to just north of break even at 4-3-1, with a win that kept his team from falling into the bottom half of the bracket. Red will square off against a revitalized White in Week One, while Orange will need to shake off this loss, and ready themselves for a rematch with top-seeded Purple.

Purple’s win over Blue meant a loose, smiley warmup for Grey. Even a loss to Cream could not keep them from the second season. Still, you never want to back into the playoffs, and you never want to be at the back of the playoff pack, if you can help it. So, a nearly-full Grey bench set their sights on a win in their finale. The absence of Jurgens, Gottfried, Gottfried, and Pereira made a convincing Grey win seem like a foregone conclusion, but…stranger things. Cream’s short bench brought plenty of heat in the early going, but Mark DeGraffenreid, Marc Lapointe, and Craig Russell all scored within 1:06 of the late third period to take control for Grey. DeGraffenreid padded the lead with his second in the second, and Eugenio De Santis added to the pile before Ian Crooks finally broke the seal (and Chris Tran’s shutout bid) in the final minutes of play. So…not much mystery or suspense in the 5-1 nightcap win for Grey, who slot in at the five spot behind Pink (who edge them in the standings based on the head-to-head tiebreaker). Captain Joel Gattey must have been thrilled waking away from the draft table, with an absolutely loaded roster, and absolute reason to believe that making the playoffs would be just the beginning. In the end, it was (significant) personnel/attendance woes, and shaky goaltending that was their undoing. Grey live to fight on after back-to-back wins to push their record to 5-4-1. They will meet Pink in the middle of the playoff bracket this Sunday with revenge on their minds.

The heat of the playoff push was already on in the Week Ten opener between Blue and White. Both teams entered with a fringe-worthy seven points, and the intensity was evident. Glenn Pinto struck first for White — a short-handed tally with Captain Greg Wirth in the box for tripping. Mark Nagy drew Blue level early in the second period, and Raj Cheema scored a controversial ‘was it, or wasn’t it’ goal to give Blue a 2-1 edge. That edge lasted just twenty-four seconds, as Pinto struck again (this time on the power play) to knot the score at two to two. There was much squawking and ruffling of feathers from both sides late in the middle frame, but the third period was (relatively) quiet on all fronts, and the 2-2 score would hold up as the final. So, both teams entered and exited the match with identical records (now 3-4-2), and the head to head tie breaker is obviously a wash. White does hold an advantage in goal differential (+4, to Blue’s -1), but all of this may be rendered moot, depending on the results on this Sunday’s games. We may look back on this draw as the result that either saved or sunk both teams. Neither team has an easy outing in their finale. White will hope to add at least one point to their standings total against Black, while Blue faces the heir apparent to the top playoff seed in Purple.

Pink’s playoff positioning was put on pause by Purple, who resumed their winning form after a month-long hiatus. Captain Zach Salt put his team in front late in the first (with help from Luke Wolmer and Janice Darlington), and Matt Rogers accounted for the game-winner early in the second. Carl Vankoughnett kept his hand hot, and kept Pink in the game with a late second period marker, but Alex Theis (15/16) would hold on to outduel fellow elite netsmith, Sean Kelly (14/16), and delay Pink’s playoff ticket punch in the process, 2-1. At 4-4-1, Pink find themselves in the thick of the standings slosh pit. The good news for Captain Joshi & Company…their last game will come against the long dead, dead last Brown. Purple have been sitting playoff pretty for weeks, but can claim the top seed (and ‘Reign’ on Blue’s parade) with a win in their final go.

Grey came into their Week Ten matchup with Green desperate and determined, but decidedly underdogs. Green strode onto the court with more than twice as many wins, more than twice and many points, and nearly twice as many goals for as Grey. The stat that was most closely matched between the two…goals against. Grey had allowed just twelve goals in their previous eight games, and Green had allowed thirteen in nine games. Only Purple boasted a lower total in that column, with none of the other eight teams having proven even remotely as stingy. So…could Grey escape Goliath with a 1-0 win? They could…and they did! A furious first period push saw Grey racking up nine shots to Green’s three, and forced Nick Meglich to have his A+ game to keep zeroes on the board. Green pushed back in the second, but Grey still held the edge in play and quality chances. The longer the game remained scoreless, the less likely it seemed that Grey would find a way to prevail. Finally, at 7:36 in the third, Craig Russell spun and smashed a shot past Meglich (16/17) to break the scoreless tie, and send Grey’s bench into a relieved frenzy. Green pushed back, but could not solve Chris Tran (17/17) to generate the equalizer. The 1-0 minor miracle over Green has Grey back to .500 at 4-4-1. They will still need either some help in the earlier games this Sunday (a loss for Blue or White would do), or they will need to squeeze past Cream in the night cap to advance. Green’s rollicking regular season rolls to a close, as they enter their bye week on top of the pile at 7-2-1. They can only fall as low as the second seed, and even that would require a tie or better for Purple this Sunday.

Captain Goncalo’s Brown has been dead and buried for what feels like months. Their Week Ten matchup with Black felt like something of a sad formality…just one week closer to a merciful end to a nightmare season. Black was fully suited and booted…Brown was missing Brian Sheptycki, Steve Noceti, Jeff Henderson, and…insult to injury, Nick Vacchio in nets. Vacchio was out because…Vacchio was in for Black…he’s Black’s captain. Rob Gaudio picked up where he left off from last week’s POTW performance, putting Black on the board late in the first, and adding two (very unnecessary) insurance strikes in the second. It was Captain Nick Vacchio who would score the game-winner against Steve Deppensmith (who was filling in for…Nick Vacchio…I hope you’re keeping up with all of this), and Andy Strathman rounded out the scoring for the winning side with his second of the season on the power play. Mark Daquipa provided the lone response from Brown, who took their bitter medicine once again in the 5-1 loss. Gaudio’s hat trick and helper finds him in a three way tie for second place on the scoring charts (10 and 6), while Jeff Anderson’s four helpers help him to a tie at the top of the assist leaders board. Wayne Wong stopped 20/21 to improve his rookie campaign record to 4-3-1, and help Black to the very vergiest verge of playoff safety with ten points.

Cream’s postseason dream was no match for the nightmare that is The Herrmannator. Actually, that’s not entirely fair…the Orange aura is much deeper and darker than one boogie man. The Erics ™, and The Deputy ™ represent three of the top five point scorers in the league this season, having combined for FIFTY-ONE points, including THIRTY-ONE goals and TWENTY assists! That’s gross. Long story short, this game was a perfect storm of the league’s most potent offense taking on the league’s most porous goalie. The Erics ™ had Orange off to a 2-0 lead through one, Willard found the game-winner early in the second, The Deputy ™ (Kevin Dinino) made it 4-0, and both Herrmann and Dinino would score again in the third. Jon Champine had the only punch back through all of that punishment, and he assisted on Tim Hamon’s way-too-little-way-too-late tally in the waning seconds…‘Twisted Citrus’ curdles Cream, 6-2. The loss officially lands Cream on the playoff scrap heap. Captain Gattey’s roster is loaded, but Deppensmith was simply outmatched by most of the league’s big guns each week. Their season may be over, but there is still potential for them to play spoiler against Grey this Sunday. For all of their firepower, and all of their staggering statistics, Orange has still not secured a playoff spot. They face a tough Red team this Sunday, and a loss in that game puts them in peril of being passed outright by Pink and/or Grey, and leaves them open to fall into a ten point pile up with two or three other teams. It’s going to be a crazy Sunday, and we all get one less hour to prepare for it…