Leg Up

Captain Bryan Ossa's 'FlamingOssas' were on their last leg coming into a Week Nine must-win-esque clash with an even-more-desperate Green, but a stellar sub stint in nets from Nick Meglich finally restored them to the win column, moved them above the cut line, and pinked up their playoff prospects...
Captain Bryan Ossa’s ‘FlamingOssas’ were on their last leg coming into a Week Nine must-win-esque clash with an even-more-desperate Green, but a stellar sub stint in nets from Nick Meglich finally restored them to the win column, moved them above the cut line, and pinked up their playoff prospects…

Perfection is a persnickety little princess, and pursuers of said princess leave themselves prone to the pangs of pushback at some point in that pursuit. It was at this late juncture in the season that Captain Copp’s Orange met Captain Captain Goins’ Red, with the former hoping to perpetuate their push to pre-playoff perfection, and the latter merely pursuing points in an effort to stay playoff proof going into the final weeks of play. While Red had brightened their playoff outlook significantly with a two game winning streak coming into Week Nine, a loss to the lossless Orange would drop them into a precarious pack of teams fighting to remain above the cutline, while a win would not only serve as a major ‘statement’, but also all but guarantee passage into April play. Aaron Cooney put the favorites in their favorite position with his tenth tally of the season at 5:48 (Matthew DeBerry), and an 8-3 shot count in Orange’s favor seemed to indicate that this would be just another piece of the perfection puzzle. The same duo made it two-oh at 5:33 in the second, with DeBerry doing to scoring honors, and Cooney lending the helping hand. Josh Tran finally answered for Red, then assisted on a second response from Jackson Tomaszewski that brought the two teams level…for roughly three minutes, before Silas Perks restored Orange’s edge at 1:44 (Cooney) and pushed Orange’s perfection preservation plot just one period from panning out. This recap has been brought to you by the letter P, and Josh Tran’s play positioned him prominently as the ‘P’ in ‘POTW’. Tran’s second of the game at 4:37 in the final frame (Tomaszewski & Palomo Schmidt) drew Red level for a second…and final time, as Jon Cima (18/21) and Red would hold on to FINALLY wrest a point away from Orange, 3-3. All good things must come to an end, and even great things like Orange’s dazzling dominance can slide a step back to ‘just plain good’. Obviously, Orange won’t be missing the point (*rim shot*), as the course of their incredible season has been charted since the early weeks…be the last team standing. For Red, the draw not only provides some additional playoff security, but also provides a patch of pride…the only team so far this season to NOT LOSE to the clear Cup favorites.

That ‘persnickety princess’ named Perfection was hot and heavy with Captain Rob Gaudio’s Blue through the first three weeks of the Wing League 2025 season. The two were seen necking (as the kids say) openly at clubs, and rumors of Blue making that princess a wedded and bedded queen began to circulate through the SDFHL rumor mills. Alas, the princess persnicked…and persnicked…and persnicked, turning a hot and heavy 3-0-0 start to Blue’s ribald romance with rash royalty into a tepid and timid 3-3-0. With perfection well out of the question, Captain Guadio’s gang turned their eyes to the MUCH more approachable Princess Playoff Passable. With the ‘ugly lights’ on, time was beginning to run out for a Blue rebound, and…*GASP*…Captain Zach Siemer’s White was already chatting up PPP, slurring something about ‘coming back to our place to check out our collection of shutouts’ between spilly sips of sangria. Tom Darlington (of all people…seriously) led the rizz-capade with his first (shocker) goal of the season at 8:01 in the first, with Scott Wieland and Steve Linke serving as wingman and wing(old)man. A scoreless second saw Blue REALLY pouring on the charm (10-2 shots in their favor in the period) to absolutely no avail, with ‘The Silencer’™ smoothly taking shot after shot on a stool nearby, making a mockery of their every attempt at making a move on the suddenly-popular princess. Leave it to Scott Wieland to take the sloppy leftovers of any social scene…he would ‘score’ on an empty net to seal the 2-0 win for White, and deliver another staggering slap to Blue’s once peachy playoff prospects. The White shutout win, Silas Perks’ second of the season (23/23) locks Captain Siemer’s side into the playoff picture, but…the result is also the FOURTH straight loss for Don Tran (8/9) and a hard luck Blue. They will now NEED to win, or at least produce a point or two in their remaining two games, or it will be bitter bachelorhood and Blue balls come April. To add drink-in-the-face to this most recent slap…Princess Playoff Passable (who, it turns out, isn’t even a real princess) will be swooning over Orange this Sunday, while Blue vies desperately for her attention…sad.

It’s as though Captain Shawna Hamon’s ‘Turds Of A Feather’ literally wrestled the figurative ‘Win Baton’™ from Captain Gaudio’s Blue in Week Five. Brown entered that match at 0-3-0, desperate to find a way to win and keep hopes of playoff play alive, while Blue stood at 3-0-0, not even especially concerned about losing superstar Kyle Snyder, what with six points in hand, and plenty of time to rack up more. That figurative baton certainly changed hands that day, with Brown blanking Blue 3-0, and the coming weeks produced two more wins for the former, and two more losses for the latter. Brown watched and waited to warmup as Blue continued their Titanic trajectory with a fourth straight loss, and Captain Hamon & Company hoped that these two eerily intertwined trends would hold true, billowing Browns win streak to four, and all but assuring them of a playoff berth after what appeared to be an out-of-the-gate death. Captain Joel Gattey’s Lime was only partially present, with Gattey himself on the shelf with a calf injury, and, oh yeah…Jordan Pynn (who, I learned has been playing on a broken foot for some time), Chris Malki, Sean Bathgate, and Leah Gonzales all unaccounted for, So, two teams who seem ‘even on paper’ and who share six point mid-pack parking spaces in the standings, but one team missing a lot of potent pieces and a relying on relief from a mere two subs…distinct edge to Brown. A scoreless first saw both teams come out gunning, racking up ten shots a piece to no avail, and while Brown held a 6-4 edge in shots in the second, it was Lime’s Vance Morra who would be first to break through. Morra’s fourth of the season at 5:27 (Joe Malki) had the undermanned underdogs on top through two. Brown’s press produced a 7-1 shot count in their favor, but as the clock wound toward full time, it looked like Matt Henderson might steal a big win for Lime. Kalen Hunter was not particularly a fan of that ending to the story, so he wrote his own with a game-tying tally with 1:42 to play…a gorgeous tic tac toe rush from Andy Strathman to Jim LaGrossa to Hunter to knot things at 1-1…where they would stay. Henderson (22/23) was spectacular in the point-saving effort, while Sean Kelly (14/15) kept his team undefeated since February 2nd with another trademark terrific turn. The point a piece gives each team seven, now just hovering on the high end of the middle pack, primed to punch playoff passage with two games to go.

Captain Bryan Ossa and his cover team, ‘FlamingOssas’, were on the same sinking ship as Captain Gaudio’s Blue coming into Week Nine. After flashing out to a 2-1-0 season start, Pink’s plumage paled along with their once sound playoff position, dropping three straight, including a 7-1 beatdown loss to White, and a dagger of a 5-2 L to a barely breathing Black. If ever there were a do or die test for a struggling Wing League 2025 team, it would be a meeting with a down and desperate Green, already very much in must-win-and-get-help mode coming in at 0-6-0. A loss to Green would be disastrous at best for Pink…a fourth straight loss, yet another loss to a fellow standings basement dweller, and…I mean…the ONLY win for a team that has struggled all season, and whose captain was serving the second game of a two game suspension. Green had every reason to write off the season, make excuses to miss this game, or show up and put forth a half-hearted effort, but that was not at all the case. With Captain Razoky, Eli Schonbrun, and ‘The Browns’™ all out of the lineup, the rest of Green’s roster arrived dialed in and determined to play playoff spoiler for Pink, and keep their own sliver of second season hope alive in the process. The first period passed with no scoring, with Pink holding the edge in shots (9-6) and overall play, but when Green flipped the shot script (9-5 in their favor) in an equally scoreless second, Pink’s FOMP™ (fear of missing playoffs) hit new heights. Sadie Hellstrom finally broke the scoring seal and the palpable tension in Pink’s ranks, tucking home her first (!) of the season on a funky bounce in front (Bryan Ossa) at 7:29. The winless/captain-less underdogs kept the pressure on, with super sub Nick Meglich preserving Pink’s edge in spite of a number of glorious Green chances, but a furious Ossa forecheck and a feathery centering pass led to a second Pink goal (Mark DeGraffenreid), and the collective Pink exhale could have pushed a sailboat across the Pacific. Hellstrom’s second of the game/season at 1:36 was even funkier than the first (Will Heinl & Mostafa Azab), but they all count the same, and the 3-0 score would count for a slump-snapping, possibly-season-saving win for Pink. Meglich (23/23) was otherworldly in the fill-in foray, and with Pink having lost newcomer netminder Michael Haine for the season, they will need to rely on superb sub play from here out if they are to see their way into April (and beyond). The loss was the final nail in Green’s coffin, making them the first team to be officially eliminated at 0-7-0. Pink has ‘The Blues’ remaining on their regular season slate, starting with Captain Ryan Karns’ Flint Blue this Sunday. A single point, coupled with a Black loss would be enough to push Pink into the playoffs, but a loss, let alone a loss and a Black (and/or Blue) win will put them in a very bad place going into the final week of play.

Such a smooth transition from mentions of Flint Blue and Black…the two faced off in the nightcap, with Captain Karns’ crew looking to punctuate their already-booked playoff passage and stay within striking distance of top-seeded Orange, and Captain Joshi’s Black looking to chain together two wins, stay in the thick of the six point pack, and keep the pressure on Pink, Blue, and the rest of the potential cut line casualties. Proud papa, Jon Salt, was back in the lineup for Black, and with Luke Wolmer away for Flint Blue, the door to a much needed win was ajar for Joshi’s 2-4-0 team. Mark Nagy slammed that door in Black’s collective face just FIVE seconds into play, converting a Dan Jurgens feed into an instant 1-0 lead for Flint Blue. Black would settle in, and Papa (Jon) Salt would have equalize in his newborn’s honor at 8:58 in the second (Rob LaVigne & Wendy Enright), leaving the teams tied going into the all important third. We may want to check Nick Meglich for PED’s, because the man is absolutely shutting down offenses of late. He would earn his second first star honors in as many games in Week Nine, keeping Black off the board in the third and finishing with an 18/19 line (or 41/42 on the night, if you’re scoring at home). John Boddy wasn’t scoring from home, but he was scoring, notching his ninth of the season with 3:50 to play (Jurgens and Pat Gladstone) to lead Flint Blue past Black, 2-1. The win keeps Karns & Company in the hunt for the second season catbird seat, now just two points back of Orange…though Orange does hold the head to head tie breaker, as they do over all but one team to date. The loss leaves Black in a rather bleak position, with four points, and only winless Green below them in the standings. Should they fail to earn at least a point against Lime this Sunday, their playoff hopes could be crushed before they play their final game (if both Pink and Blue manage a tie or better against the top two teams…not likely, but not impossible). A win and some help this Sunday will keep Black alive and kicking into the last week of play, where (as fate would have it) they would face the nothing-to-play-for Green on the heels of a Pink v Blue match that should produce an opportunity to leapfrog their way into one of the final spots in the playoff picture.

Bounced

Captain Joel Gattey’s ‘Goal-Schlägers’ and Captain Mark Nagy’s ‘Do’lo Cups’ finally outstayed their welcome at the CrossBar, and were escorted to the curb to sober up and wait for an Uber. Eight teams are still living it up inside, hoping to outlast the other partiers and raise one last toast with the Cup…

Boxes from the final week of regular season play are up. Recaps, the Week One playoff schedule, and a playoff bracket will be up soon…

Murder One

Captain Joel Gattey’s ‘Murder On The J-Hole Express’ were the last Spring League 2024 team standing, bleeding out the clock after a single Nick Vacchio stab left the one seed for dead in the first game of the Final. It was the dramatic duel to the death you would expect from the two teams backed by the two undisputed giants of the SDFHL goalie ranks, and both teams were great, but there can ultimately be only one survivor, and this time the two seed was the one team who scored the one goal and won it all…

The obvious primary storyline in the Spring 2024 Final was the battle of the league’s two top goalies. Silas ‘The Silencer’™ Perks has gotten more press than Taylor Swift of late, but if you missed his Scrooge-On-Meth miserly mission this season, he went 6-0-2/.968/0.63/4 SO for Olive through the regular season. He was only slightly less lockdown in the playoffs, but still by far the toughest goalie to face (if you like scoring goals and winning games) on any given Sunday. Red’s Sean ‘Da Kid’ Kelly…a living legend whose legacy only lengthens each season. His regular season line of 5-1-1/.940/1.14/2 SO would put most any other netminder’s numbers to shame, but Kelly would need to be at his sharpest to outduel Perks and make certain that this Final would only go one round. To no one’s surprise, this one played out as expected…an extremely tight, and extremely low-scoring affair. A scoreless first saw both teams finding a few chances, but no conversions, with Red holding the slimmest of edges in the shot count department (5-4). Olive, not typically known for outshooting their opponents, actually doubled Red’s shot total in the second (10-5), but it was Red’s Nick Vacchio who would shoot the only shot that counted…finding and burying a rebound off the back boards to give Red the one goal edge (Alexis DaCosta) on the powerplay at 6:36. It was another double up in the shot column for Olive in the third, as they fired twelve at Kelly with just six hitting Perks, but Kelly (26/26) was the Jedi Master to Perks’ Padawan in this one, as he and his Red mates made their only goal the only goal they would need to reach their goal…the Spring League 2024 Cup. Congratulations once again to Red, and also to Silas Perks (15/16) and his Olive mates, who absolutely dominated the regular season, and came up JUST short of their late summer destiny.

SDFHL Spring League 2024 Champions: ‘Murder On The J-Hole Express’: Back Row L=>R Alexis DaCosta, Jackson Tomaszewski, Jordan Pynn, Tim Vick, Craig Russell, Captain Joel Gattey Front Row L=>R TK Mason, Nick Vacchio, Sean Kelly, Wendy Enright, Trevor Vick

Murder By Numbers

Horrors abound, as two more bodies have been discovered in the dark corners of the 4S Manor grounds. First President Pope, then Duchess Jeannine Gold-Diggerton, and now Baron Bryan L’Orange and Princess Janine diRosa have all met their respective untimely demises at the hands of an assailant (or assailants) who remain at large. While the butler appears to have been cleared as a suspect by authorities, he does (somehow) seem to know more than an innocent man would, or should know. Whispers and hopeful hints are all those who remain alive have to go on, but the sense is that someone will crack this case very soon…or die trying.

Princess Janine diRosa reported several ‘attempts on her life’ over the course of her stay at 4S Manor, but fellow guests were dismissive of her colorful claims, and even authorities lost interest with what appeared to be the ramblings of a paranoid attention seeker. Among the more sensational stories…’ Detective Redman poisoned me, and locked me in the cellar in Week Five!’, ‘General Eggplant nearly bludgeoned me to death in Week Eight!’, and ‘Colonel Chadwick Grey stabbed me eight times with a steak knife in Week Nine!’. If you recall the story of ‘The Boy Who Cried Wolf’, you know that the boy (and all the sheep he tends) are ultimately eaten…by an actual wolf. diRosa & Company needed a win and help to live beyond their latest ‘brush with (playoff) death’, and Jim LaGrossa put them on top 1-0 at 8:35 in the first (Josh Tran), then plumped the lead to two at 7:04 (John Gamm). The ‘White Wolf’ was lurking, though, and the fangs flashed once (Josh Wirt from Dorothy Kline and Kerri Sevenbergen), then again (Mark Nagy from Carl Vankoughnett and Wirt) to erase the edge, and push Pink back to the brink. Vankoughnett added a solo strike at 4:24 to give White their first lead, and send ‘The Tranthers’ into a mad scramble for survival. Josh Tran (from John Gamm) equalized at 2:51, but the panicked Pink press would never find a game-winner, as super sub, Ryan Loughran (33/36) and White held on to preserve the 3-3 tie and send Princess diRosa to the makeshift manor morgue to join President Pope and Duchess Gold-Diggerton. Nick Vacchio (22/25) absorbed the last loss of a listless Pink campaign that seemed hopeless from the outset. It is unclear at this point how investigators intend to handle this gruesome twist. While it is clear that Reverend Ryan Blanco was the last to see diRosa alive, it is possible that her death was the result of aggregate trauma from a series of brutal attacks…perhaps ‘the boy’ was not ‘crying wolf’ after all…

Mister (‘Doctor’) John ‘Black Hat’ Boddy and his cohorts stayed (mostly) out of the shadows of suspicion amid the growing trend of (for lack of a better term) dead ends coming into the final week of the investigation into the murder of President Pope. While some reports had Black Hat ‘skulking about late at night’, and even ‘fleeing the scene of a vicious attack on Reverend Blanco’ in Week Six, the good ‘doctor’ managed to keep a very low profile from week to week, while at the same time maintaining a high position in the ‘body count standings’. Colonel Chadwick Grey and his cadre of cadets had a bit more (alleged) blood on their hands over the course of their stay coming into final Sunday ‘play’, having been accused by both Duchess Gold-Diggerton and Princess diRosa of violent attacks, and also having gotten the considerable better of Professor Kyle VonBraun just two weeks back. Both Black and Grey had no real fear of death upon meeting to ‘discuss things’ in the library Sunday night, and manor staff described the air in the room to be ‘full of laughter, cigar smoke, and mutual respect’. Kyle Snyder did get in a rather pointed jab at 6:50 in the first (Eric Willard), and Willard doubled down with a late second period diss (Janice Darlington), leaving Black searching for a witty retort as the ‘friendly meeting’ wound into the wee minutes. It’s worth noting the ‘Doctor’ Black himself was not in the room, and in fact, most of his entourage (Bao Nguyen, Dan Jurgens, Marc Lapointe, and Brendan Jew) had ‘retired early’ that night (if that is to be believed). Pat Gladstone did show up, and showed Grey that even a bit of Black still has bite, slapping Grey’s back in a ‘congratulatory gesture’ that staff later reported looked more like a ‘passive aggressive threat of things to come’ (from Geoff Downes). Ryan Loughran (21/23) was very solid as the last line of defense for a VERY thin pack, but Black would ultimately concede to Grey in this strange gentlepersons’ duel, 2-1. Jon Cima (12/13) collected his fourth win in eight tries, and while besting (a barely-there) Black may have boosted the bravado of Colonel & Company, it did nothing to improve their postseason position (fifth).

I am sure I am not the only one who finds it suspicious that Lady Leah Tealsdale has scarcely been seen since President Pope’s murder back in late March. I mean, how many mysteries introduce a character in the first few scenes, then write that character out long enough for you to forget about them, then…BAM…remember that sneaky looking lady from the arrival scene…SHE DID IT! The Lady herself was in attendance, fanning herself and sipping ‘just iced tea…definitely not Jagr and soda’ out on the North Lawn, with the best seat in the house for a ‘friendly’ croquet match between her Teal mates and the late Duchess Gold-Diggerton’s bereaved bunch. It may have been ‘just another croquet match to pass a late afternoon hour…without getting too sweaty’ for Gold, but this match meant everything to their opponent. They would need a win, then anything but an Orange victory in order to avoid becoming the latest corpse tossed into the mass grave out by the hedge maze. Will Heinl had Teal on the front foot at 3:36 in the first (from Justin Ker and Elyse Shattuck)…that’s right, folks…Justin Ker is playing this season! While he has been only slightly more apparent than his injured OG captain over the past two months, he showed up when Teal needed him most, and showed up three times on the scoreboard in their all-important finale. He followed the primary assist on the Heinl strike with a solo effort late in the first (0:28), then repeated the unassisted feat for the only goal from either side in the second to put Teal up three. Ty Pereira bashed one through the wickets for Gold (from Hima Joshi and Brennen Abel), but that would be the only measure of retaliation from the down and out underdogs. Chuck Bender (3/4) earned perhaps the easiest win of his, or any goalie’s career with a THREE SAVE EFFORT. Chris Tran (24/27) may look back with relief that he missed most of the season for Gold, but one can’t help but wonder if he might have been their saving grace. The 3-1 Teal win was just more dirt on Gold’s grave, but meant that Teal might live to fight another day, pending the result of the nightcap between Orange and Brown.

The buzz around the manor is that Doctor J’ermé Olivier is VERY close to solving the mystery of President Pope’s murder. His keen observation, conversation, and subtle persuasion skills have been deployed expertly throughout the protracted and unexpected stay that followed the brutal killing. Dr. Olivier is no doubt a very sharp dude, but it is clear that the real brains of the operation are nestled within the sublime skull of Agent Silas ‘The Silencer’™ Perks. Olivier, ever the fraidy cat cautious individual, hired Perks as his personal body guard the moment it became clear that murder was afoot (and likely afeet) at the Manor. Perks has earned his (considerable) paycheck as ‘life safer’, but has also proven to be a super sleuth in his spare time, soaking up all but three possible clues coming into a picnic lunch date with General Severus Eggplant and his Purple-clad posse. Both teams knew they would survive the encounter (I mean, it was just a nice lunch together, out under the shade of the willows on the West Lawn), but Olivier (and Perks) are always looking to ‘come out ahead’ from any interaction, and they did just that (AGAIN) on this occasion. Aaron Cooney made a good point early in the meal (riffing off a smart aside from Hima Joshi), then things got quiet for a period. Cooney had his mates roaring with another bon mot early in dessert course (with Ralph Feuer and Branden Olsen setting up the punch line), and Olsen made sure Purple would not talk their way back into the conversation with an uncontested zinger as the servants cleared plates and offered coffee and tea. Feuer was asked to leave the picnic after shoving a defenseless old man (Steve Linke) into the mud, and authorities have asked that he remain in his quarters for a few weeks to cool off. The eleven save 3-0 shutout win was another feather in Perks’ already-feather-riddled cap. He finishes the season with absolutely Ebenezer numbers – .968/0.63/4 SO…the gaudiest line of his gaudy career. Olive now have all but three clues they would need to know all of the details of President Pope’s death, and they will enter postseason play as the top seed with a 7-0-3 record. They look to defend their undefeated ledger against Teal, who (spoiler alert) slipped into the playoff party JUST before the doors snapped closed. The loss for Don Tran (10/12) and the Purple clan means a seventh place finish at 3-4-3. They will look to upend a rested and ready Red side in the round one opener this Sunday.

Baron Bryan L’Orange, ever the ruthless dickface shrewd strategist, planned to ensure the survival of himself (first) and his entourage by shelling out A LOT of that baron bling to secure the services of one of the most notorious killing machines the Manor has ever allowed on the premises…David ‘Throat Slasher’™ Schlatter. So, sort of the antithesis of the Olivier method, if you will…kill ’em with…killing, and by killing, avoid be killed. As the classic Beatles hit goes, though, money ‘Can’t By Me Attendance’, and Schlatter appeared far more interested in slashing through six packs of Linke Lager (local brewery…not bad, actually) than lacerating larynxes since the day he pulled up to the Manor in a tiger print Jaguar (he loves irony almost as much as murder). L’Orange and his mates would need Schlatter to show, and would need him at his cold bloodiest to put down Professor Kyle VonBraun’s Brown in a high stakes game of poker set to go down in the second floor conservatory overlooking the pool (I’m granting you that the location sounds very un-badass). VonBraun’s brood had proven very proficient with weapons themselves over the course of their stay, boasting two of the more ‘offensive’ characters to ever roam the corridors in Zach ‘Assault’ Salt and Mark ‘Dagger’ DeGraffenreid. Putting Orange out of their misery would also mean holding their edge over the Colonel and his crew, and with no Schlatter to be seen as the first hands were dealt, it seemed pretty clear that the Baron and buds would be short-stacked from the start. Sure enough…quads out of the gate for Brown, with Maureen Ruchhoeft betting out first (from Robert Pietropaula and Shawna Hamon), Mark DeGraffenreid raising less than a minute later (Zach Salt), Tony Thinh re-raising (Ruchhoeft and DeGraffenreid), then Ruchhoeft (from Salt) showing the nuts (a pair of goals in the hole, with a matching pair on the board) to scoop most of Orange’s stack before the deck was even warm. Rob Gaudio read a subtle signal from Mostafa Azab, and bluffed his way to a small chip salvage for Orange, but Brown continued to turn over hot hands, with DeGraffenreid (Ruchhoeft) and Shawna Hamon (Salt) keeping the river flowing for the favorites. Hamon’s second big hand of the night (Salt & DeGraffenreid) gave Brown a 7 to 1 chip count lead, and while Schlatter (who arrived after the first orbit) finally started to make an impact, it was too little, too late. Gaudio (Schlatter), then Schlatter (Gaudio) brought the stacks a bit more level, but Salt (DeGraffenreid & Strathman) put Orange back on tilt, rendering the final notch in Gaudio’s hat trick belt (Jess MacKinnon) nothing more than cold consolation as Brown brushed Orange aside, 8-4. DeGraffenreid and Salt finished the season with 28 points each, tied for tops, and NINE points better than runners up Gaudio and ‘Doctor’ Boddy. Orange have not been seen since their last chip was swept away…the rumor is that the Baron owed A LOT of money to A LOT of dangerous people, at least one of whom is also sequestered at the Manor. Brown will look to avenge themselves this Sunday against a Grey gang that roughed them up quite a bit in their last encounter. With the President and now three prominent guests slain, the tension is tightening, and the knives are now well and truly out…

Dead Or Olive

‘Olive’ is just ‘Evil O’ backwards…food for thought, especially if you’re pitted (see what I did there) against Captain Copp’s crew, who continue to kill it at 3-0-1. They got away with their latest lethal laceration in spite of the absence of Soar and Silas…scary!

Captain Ryan Karns’ ‘Wirt-Collar Crime’ limped into Week Seven play with a 1-3-0 record, and TEN of their fourteen goals coming in their lone victory, a wild Week Four overkill ownage of Orange. Captain Kyle Prior’s Brown rolled in with the opposite record, but also with the knowledge that the scheduling and attendance gods had smiled on them to that point in the season, particularly in their Week Five trouncing of a taped-together Teal roster with no subs and even less sizzle. Attendance is a fickle mistress, however, and a rendezvous with a mistress sometimes leads to unwanted results. With Zach Salt and Shawna Hamon out of action, it would be down to a quality sub (thank you, Jess), and the rest of Brown’s roster to scrape enough skill and stamina together to outlast a good team with a bad record. Jim Peters notched his first career SDFHL goal (CONGRATULATIONS, Jim!) tucking home a backdoor pass/shot from Mark DeGraffenreid to give Brown the early edge, and super sub, Nick Meglich, held White off the board in spite of facing thrice as many shots as his counterpart (15-5 edge in White’s favor through one). Carl Vankoughnett finally broke through for White on the penalty kill (Josh Wirt), and Kevin Dinino (Karns) sandwiched his third of the season between trips to the box for high-sticking and slashing to give White the one goal edge through two periods of play. Chuck Russell returned the short-handed favor at 3:13 in the third (DeGraffenreid), and with Matt Henderson shaken up on the play, there were thoughts that a stand-in would need to stand in to finish out the game. Henderson would shake it off and stand tall the rest of the way, though…a rest of the way that included a game-winning Wirt wrister at 1:33 (‘The Ryans’™…Karns and Owen)….White over Brown, 3-2. The win is a big one for White, who move out of cutline country and into the middle of the pack at 2-3-0. Matt Henderson (20/22) can ice his shoulder with a winning smile on his face, while Nick Meglich (26/29) was studly as ever in the losing effort in lieu of Cory Brin. The loss knocks Brown off their pursuit of a top spot in the standings, but at 3-2-0, they are still well in the playoff mix as they make the turn into the truly tough part of their schedule (Black/Red/Purple). Fun fact…and don’t look now…actually, do look now, as I am sure it will change this week…with two assists in this loss, Mark DeGraffenreid (yours truly) remains your points leader at the halfway point in the season!

On paper, our cover team, Olive, looks fairly ordinary…at least to these old, cobwebby eyes. ‘The Silencer’ has certainly staked a solid claim to ‘best in the business’, Dan Soar and Jon Zygelman are proven (though, not ‘premier’) point producers, and the rest of the cast is solid, but my preseason predictions would have had this team closer to struggle bus then armored tank. With both Soar and Silas out of the lineup to face Orange, SURELY the first loss of the season would land on Captain Jeremy Copp & Company…right? Wrong….and don’t call me Shirley. Zygelman put Olive on top very early (Hima Joshi), and the confusion and controversy surrounding the goal would not keep it off the board. Aaron Cooney’s second of the season even earlier in the second (Christopher Fiore) doubled Olive’s advantage, and Zygelman’s second of the game (Cooney) came without controversy, and gave Olive a 3-0 lead. A Schlatter-less Orange (speaking of notable absences) finally found their scoring form with 0:05 remaining in the middle stanza, with Mostafa Azab making good on a Jess MacKinnon feed….her first career SDFHL point (CONGRATULATIONS, Jess!). Weston Nawrocki kept the teeth clenched and sweat flowing on both sides, cutting the lead to one at 3:44 (Azab and Rob Gaudio), but pseudo-Silas, Ian Crooks (14/16), and Olive would hold on for the 3-2 win to remain undefeated at 3-0-1. Nick Meglich (24/27) suffered his second loss of the night, but this one actually counts towards his numbers, which remain really good at 1-1-0/.942/2.00. Now at 1-2-1, Orange are JUST above the cutline, but really in need of some positive midseason momentum. The bad news…they face 4-0-1 Red this Sunday. Olive will look to keep their loss column spotless against a resurgent Grey side who have won two of their last three.

The marquee Week Seven matchup between Black and Red lived up to the ‘tough, tight, and thrilling’ billing. Captain Joel Gattey’s Red knew nothing but winning coming in, while Captain John Boddy’s Black had split points once in their first three outings, and hoped for at least a point and a renewed zero in the loss ledger against the early season frontrunners. Rookie sensation, Brendan Jew, kicked off the scoring for Black with his first career SDFHL goal (CONGRATULATIONS, Brendan!) with the lone assist belonging to Mark Scelfo (pronounced SKELL-fo…now you know). Geoff Downes made it 2-0 in favor of Black later in the first (Bao Nguyen and Captain Boddy), and it was starting to look like a third Meglich loss of the night would be the first loss of the season for Red. Jordan Pynn took matters into his own super skilled hands in the second, careening coast to coast to cash in with a sick strike to cut the lead in half, and Tim Vick followed later in the period to even the score (Nick Vacchio and Captain Gattey) heading into the final frame. Vacchio’s powerplay punch (Gattey and Trevor Vick) had Red all the way back in the driver’s seat with 7:10 to play, but Captain Boddy answered just twenty seconds later (Dan Jurgens) to knot things at three apiece. The clock carried the day from there, as Nick Meglich (20/23) would hold the line for Red in Sean Kelly’s stead (and avoid a personal third loss on the night), and Ryan Loughran (13/16) would keep both himself and Black lossless for at least another week with a strong effort in the 3-3 thriller. Black face an intriguing challenge in Brown in Week Eight, while Red will look to regain their winning ways against an up and down Orange.

If Red v Black was the marquee Week Seven matchup, Teal v Pink was the bathroom stall graffiti game of the night. Captain Janine Ulloa’s ‘Tranthers’ came into the contest as the lone un-feated team, while (new, replacement) Captain Zach Siemer and Teal had only just slipped off the schneid with a shocking 6-3 grilling of Grey the Sunday prior. Needless to say, both teams were in rather immediate need of a batch of better results, and stepping on the shoulders of another cellar dweller is the ideal way to climb out of a woeful hole. It’s hard to step anywhere with a ruptured Achilles, and Teal’s tender tendon this season has been attendance. Without Chris Malki, Luke Wolmer, and Will Heinl in the lineup, Pink was presented with a platinum opportunity to prevail on a proverbial platter. The first period passed without a point, but Teal’s tired legs started to show in the second, and Pink’s peckish offense started to produce. John Gamm’s first of the season came courtesy of Matthew Ulloa’s first assist, and Mason LaGrossa gave Pink just their second two-goal lead in five games later in the period. Jim LaGrossa matched his son’s goal with one of his own midway through the third (from said son and Gordon Schmidt), and would later add an empty-netter (once again, from Mason) to seal the deal on the first W of the season for Pink, 4-1. Captain Siemer served up the only resistance in a futile fight (Joe Malki and Justin Ker), and Chuck Bender (14/17) and Teal dropped to 1-4-0 with the loss, now officially dead last in the league going into their bye week. Nick Vacchio, rich with wins as a member of Red, finally felt the joy of victory in nets with a smooth 17/18 showing. A win is nice, but Pink are FAR from out of the woods at 1-4-0, themselves. They will need to upset a rested 2-2-0 Purple side this Sunday to bring any real sense of hope to their situation.

The nightcap saw two hungry teams looking to stay alive in the playoff hunt at the midseason mark, with Captain Chad Goins’ 1-2-1 Grey facing Captain Jeannine Stuzka’s 1-2-0 Gold. Both teams were looking to bounce back from a Week Six loss, but Grey had perhaps a bit of additional motivation to prove that their 6-3 loss to previously-winless Teal would not define the rest of their season. At the risk of sounding like the most broken of records, attendance is a big factor in this league. Captain Stuzka’s team has been without vaunted veteran netminder, Chris Tran, all season long, and would have to hope that Zach Siemer (essentially an ’emergency’ sub) could hold off Grey’s attack, while their own offense could find a way to start and run without its engine (Brennen Abel). The good news for Gold…Grey would be without Kyle Snyder, Rob Lavigne, and Jeff Henderson in this one, making the odds making on this one hazy, at best. Enter Vance Morra, whose quiet, unassuming manner allows him to fly well below most opponent’s radar. Morra was flying high in this one from the start, racking up a natural hat trick in the first period to give Grey a commanding 3-0 lead. Eric Willard and Captain Chad Goins assisted on the first goal, but the other two were unassisted ‘radar schmadar’ strikes from the sneaky skilled vet. Tom Darlington made it 4-0 on the powerplay in the second, and Willard (Justin Stege and Janice Darlington) and Captain Goins (Morra) rounded out the scoring in a 6-0 statement body slam for Grey. Morra captured POTW honors with the 3-1 display, and Chuck Bender (16/16) recorded a shutout in Jon Cima’s shoes to improve Grey to a healthy 2-2-1. Zach Siemer’s rough night with his native Teal was not helped by the lopsided loss, but his 27/33 could have been 32/33 and it wouldn’t have mattered to an anemic, incap-Abel Gold. Captain Stuzka’s crew take on White this Sunday in what has to be considered a crucial contest for the cutline dwellers. Grey face a tough challenge in undefeated Olive, but an upset win will have them very comfortable going into the playoff home stretch.