Both Captain Leah Gonzales’ Maroon and Captain Wendy Enright’s Olive rolled into the final week of regular season play knowing that their playoff passports were already set and stamped, but it never hurts to have a bit of momentum going into the second season. Maroon looked to build off their Week Thirteen waltz past a beleaguered Black, while Olive looked to rebound after their six week lossless streak was pitted the week prior by a desperate Aqua side. Josh Wirt opened the scoring in the latter half of the first (from Will Heinl and Gary Peters), and doubled Olive’s lead early in the second (this time from Peters and Heinl). Joe Malki halved Olive’s edge minutes later (from Jeffrey Henderson and Ryan Karns), and Karns would go on to notch a second assist on sub Janine Ulloa’s early third period tally (first assist to Chris Malki) and the lone assist on John Boddy’s game-winner at 7:18 in the final frame. Boddy provided the helping hand on Ezra Cohen’s insurance marker at 5:11, and Steve Deppensmith (7/9) literally could not lose at that point, as Olive was credited with just one shot in the third (!). Zach Siemer (27/31) deserved better than the 4-2 loss, but continues to look very strong since coming on board full time to replace Cory Brin midway through the season. The win bolstered Maroon’s playoff position to the six spot, while Olive merely ‘stayed put’ at the four seed, in spite of the loss. It’s very important to note that Olive managed a very impressive resurgence from 0-2-0 to 5-4-1 in spite of being without their second round pick, London Peters, for all but four games this season. With London officially back on the shelf with a re-torn MCL, Patrick Walker steps in to provide some playoff punch, starting with a Week One match with Purple. Maroon will look to avenge a 5-2 Week Six loss to Royal Blue when playoff action commences this Sunday.

Without question, Captain Audrey Stratton’s Silver squad has been THE story of the regular season. A sparkling 7-0-2 record had them pulling into the final week of regular season play with the top seed already on ice, and only their lossless luster at stake against an inconsistent Purple pack looking to make a late splash, serve notice with a ‘statement’ win, and improve their second season stock. If the relatively low stakes for both sides didn’t sell tickets, the promise of another Salt Bros™ showdown would. One problem…only one Salt Bro™ was present and accounted for. Plan C…fans would surely want to see Silas Perks in action. The unquestioned occupant of the goalie iron throne would surely end his magical season with more magnificence…right? Brandon Olsen was the first to shout ‘wrong’ in response, putting Purple on the board in the first (from Mark Nagy and Weston Nawrocki), and Trice Harvey’s first career cash-in (CONGRATULATIONS!) from Nagy and Jon Salt put Silver in a very unfamiliar place…down two. Justin Ker (from Sadie Hellstrom and Matt Gottfried) and Alexis DaCosta (from the same dynamic duo) restored balance to the game and the scoreboard, but the sole Salt made his presence felt again (from Eric Willard and Nagy) to make it 3-2 Purple through two. Sadie Hellstrom leveled the ledger again early in the third (from Joel Gattey and Ker), and as the clock wound into the final minutes, it looked as though Silver would indeed complete their wire to wire L-free campaign. After all, Perks had only allowed as many as two goals (never more) in the same game three times this season, making Purple’s three bagger already ‘over quota’. Eric Willard converted a Jon Salt pass to quash that quota, and give Purple a 4-3 edge. Salt added an empty-netter (from Nagy) to make it 5-3, but Alexis DaCosta (from Kevin Dinino and Ker) kept it spicy to the bitter end with an answer at 0:02 to play. The frantic finish was a remarkable twist to Silver’s scintillating season, as their lossless run was snapped with just 2:48 to play in a ten game span. The 5-4 win for Purple pushes them to the five seed, and while the win comes with something of an asterisk (no Zach in Silver’s attack), it is still a huge hat hanger going into May play. As noted, the loss merely tarnishes Silver’s sterling record, but they maintain their catbird seat, and look to bounce back form their only loss to date in a meeting with the eighth-seeded Aqua.

Captain Shelby Shattuck’s ‘Black Widow’ has been dead and buried for what feels like two months. After failing to score a single goal in their first five games, they clawed and crawled their way forward through the second half of the season like an extra on ‘The Walking Dead’. Their final week of play finally arrived, and at 0-8-1, with absolutely nothing to play for beyond pride and a love of the game, you had to figure they would go out the way they came in…with a whimper. Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft’s ‘White Hot Flashes’ proved ‘unkillable’ through their first six games, avoiding loses with remarkable last minute (and last second) escapes, but they finally got in touch with their mortality with two losses in the three games leading up to the final week of play. They looked to right the ship, take the ‘auto win’ over Black, and snatch the three seed and some momentum in the process. A scoreless first bled past, followed by a scoreless 6:09 in the second. Lo and behold, it was Black who struck first, with Jordan Pynn creating and finishing his own chance to put the underdogs on top. Brennan Abel answered for White a minute and change later (from Captain Ruchhoeft and Geoff Downes), setting up a third period for all the marbles (however insignificant the marbles). Matt Henderson (18/19) was great again…poor guy has been swabbing the decks and polishing the rails of the Titanic all season, and his efforts FINALLY paid off. It was Justin Stege with 2:49 (from Harsh Wanigaratne and Pynn)…his second of the season, and Black’s FIRST GAME-WINNING GOAL OF THE SEASON! Honestly, it was great to see…a team with no reason left to fight fighting to the very end, and ending a very low season on a nice high note, 2-1 Black over White. If you’re scoring at home, Stege’s goal tied him with Pynn for the team scoring lead with two. Only two other players had a goal (Matt DeBerry and Alan Razoky), for a total of six goals in ten games. While this will go down as one of the most offensively challenged teams in league history, this win buoys them above the ‘worst team ever’ waterline, for sure. Chuck Bender (11/13) absorbed his third loss in four games, and White back into the playoffs as the seventh seed at 4-3-3. They will need to switch back to ‘unkillable’ mode when they face a stout Charcoal side in their playoff opener this Sunday.

Red (AKA ‘Maroon 2: Electric Boogaloo’) trod a similar tragic trail to Black this season, but Captain Emily Bennington & Company did manage a Week Thirteen coup that gave them five points and (at the time) a chance at a last gasp playoff redemption. Captain Steph Palomo Schmidt’s Aqua promptly snuffed out that flicker of hope with a stirring comeback win over Olive in Week Thirteen, leaving Red in the same ‘already dead’ boat as Black going into the final week of play. Unlike Black, Red could still play spoiler in this one, with a win over Aqua leaving the door open for Tropical Blue to sneak into the eighth and final playoff slot. Aqua needed anything but a loss to (finally) punch their playoff ticket, and preserve any measure of momentum and confidence going into May. With the Gaudio Bros™ out of the lineup, Aqua hoped they might only need one goal to seal the deal. They got that one with 0:55 remaining in the second, as David Schlatter danced in, and juked and jived his way to a pretty breakaway goal. Brian Sheptycki had the lone assist on what would be the lone goal in the game, as Chris Tran (19/19) and Aqua’s defense kept Red’s remaining offensive threats at bay to secure the 1-0 brow-wiping win. Tran’s season has been overshadowed by Silas Perks’ heroics, but a .915/1.75/2 SO season line is, to quote Larry David, ‘pretty…pretty…good’. It was a double whammy loss for Nick Vacchio (9/10)…just another loss for Red, of course, but the Aqua win slammed the playoff door shut on his other team, Tropical Blue, as well. So…two teams…no playoffs for Vacchio, while his counterpart hogged all the playoff pride with both Aqua and Charcoal advancing. Making the playoffs is great and all, but it is certainly going to take a stronger effort than a one goal wiggler from Aqua to replicate Purple’s feat against Z Salt, ‘The Silencer’, and the rest of Silver this Sunday…

So, unlike so many seasons past, the final game of the Winter 2023 season ended up meaning absolutely nothing to either side. Tropical Blue had just watched as their playoff coffin was nailed shut, and Charcoal had no chance of moving up nor down from their seat in second place. At least there were still two stories in play at the player level…would Owen Perks rack up enough points to tie, or even topple Eric Herrmann for the scoring title, and would Melissa Busby continue to be the the stubby, superfluous appendage on the fist of fury that is Charcoal? I am sure I don’t need to tell you that the latter came to fruition…Busby has made zero impact in three games since joining the team…not a shock. Perks did get on the board in the first, but it was two minutes for hooking, which is not what he had in mind. Meanwhile, Ryan Loughran laced a wicked wrister past Sean Kelly to put Charcoal in front (from Chris Tran and Jackson Tomaszewski), and Kalen Hunter’s solo effort early in the second gave the favorites a 2-0 lead. Nick Vacchio continued to shine in the dark for Tropical Blue, notching his seventh of the season to cut the lead to one, but it was Hunter again to restore the two goal lead going into the third. Owen Perks recorded the primary on that second Hunter strike (Chris Tran had the second apple), but that would be all the scoring he would do in this one, as he finished the season with the silver in the scoring race with twenty points (13 and 7). Sean Kelly (17/21) was darting and sliding and breakdancing, and otherwise standing on his head, but alas, this game was a microcosm of a season lost for Da Kid…even when he had his best stuff, there was just not nearly enough in front of him. Captain Shawna Hamon put her stamp on the scoresheet with another sweet, sneaky wrister that slipped in near side (from Hunter), capping a comfortable 4-1 win for her team, and giving them some extra playoff steam. Don Tran (11/12) netted his sixth win of the season, and finished third in the goalie ranks with an impressive .898/1.63/2 SO line. All the pieces are there, and Charcoal look to make a deep playoff run starting with a repeat of their Week Thirteen 4-0 winning feat against White in this Sunday’s night cap. Sadly, Tropical Blue’s final game would also be the final game for Captain Kyra Forsyth, who is now off to pursue her PhD in sunny Indiana. We wish her well, and hope she comes home to play with us again at some point. Best wishes and safe travels, Kyra!

The postmortem plod to the regular season finish line continued for ‘Black Widow’ in Week Thirteen, with Captain Shelby Shattuck, Alan Razoky, Mike Chiaco, Harsh Wanigaratne and Justin Stege all staying safe and cool at home, away from the blazing dumpster fire that will finally (mercifully) be extinguished with this Sunday’s finale. Captain Leah Gonzales was absent, as well, as were Vinny Santora and John Boddy, but there was plenty of Malki moxie in the lineup to take care of business for Maroon. Chris Malki scored twice in the second, with Ryan Karns and sub Kaitlyn Brusso assisting on the first, and son Joe helping out on the second, and we all know that a lead (let alone a two or more goal lead) against Black is an auto win this season. Jordan Pynn’s first of the season (let that sink in) early in the third from Rich Shane and Matt DeBerry cut the lead in half, and kept things interesting for a bit, but Ezra Cohen would restore the two goal edge roughly four minutes later, and Steve Deppensmith (14/15) and the overdogs would hold on for a 3-1 win. Matt Henderson (23/26) was the whipping boy once again, keeping his team in the game from start to finish, knowing full well that his efforts would be in vain. The loss was just another on the pile for Black, who have been eliminated in spirit for a month, and officially eliminated for weeks, but the win is an important one for Maroon. At 3-3-3, they have now officially punched their playoff ticket, and can play a loose, confident game versus a tough Olive side to close out their regular season this Sunday.

Royal Blue looked to wrap their regular season with a wrinkle in Silver’s plan for standings domination. A win would move them to 6-2-2, and check Silver to 6-1-2, leaving the door open for Captain Janet Goins’ crew to snatch the top playoff seed whilst enjoying their Week Fourteen bye. Numbers don’t lie, and inertia is a thing, so handing an undefeated team their first loss in their ninth game of the season is unlikely, but…we play the games because anything is possible…right? Nope…beating Silver appears to be impossible, or as close to it as possible. Royal Blue outshot Silver FIFTEEN to four in the first period, and yet…Alexis DaCosta accounted for the lone piece of paydirt, converting a Justin Ker pass to give Silver a 1-0 edge on the power play with just 0:37 to play in the frame. If you have been paying attention at all this season, you know that a 15/15 period is just another day at the office for ‘The Silencer’ (Silas Perks) but outshooting an opponent nearly 4:1, and finding yourself behind for all of your efforts just has to break spirits. Ker doubled Silver’s edge midway through the second (from Arnold Gonzales), and DaCosta’s second of the game (from Sadie Hellstrom) to make it 3-0 came with just 0:57 left in the middle stanza. Eric Herrmann righted the Royal Blue ship a bit just eighteen seconds later, but a two goal hole with one period to play is tough to climb out of against an average team, let alone an undefeated juggernaut with a brick wall in nets. Justin Ker capped his POTG evening with his second of the game early in the third, and while Carl Vankoughnett did manage to fire a second strike past Perks, it would not be nearly enough to slay the Silver dragon…Silver over Royal Blue, 4-2. Perks’ stopped 34/36 (!) to collect his seventh win of the season, and he continues to be the iron backbone of a team that is now 7-0-2…alone, and unreachable in the top playoff spot, regardless of what happens in the final week of play. Royal Blue will sit their bye this Sunday, currently clinging to the three seed, but in danger of falling as low as the five, should both Olive and White prevail in their final matches.

The odds of surviving the regular season were very much not in favor of Captain Emily Bennington’s Red side coming into Week Thirteen. At 1-6-1 (with that one win coming at the expense of season doormats, Black), Red would need to win out, and get a fair amount of help to preserve even a faint whisper of playoff hopes. Their penultimate opponent, Purple, has been an absolute enigma all season long, shifting swiftly from world beaters to world-beaten and back again with each passing week. Two scoreless periods ticked past, filling Red with equal parts hope and despair. They would need to score to win, and they would need to win to survive the regular season, but…all it would take was one shot…one goal, and a continued stellar effort from Nick Vacchio in nets. Joe Nguyen answered the bell, providing that one goal (from Joe Gaudio and Captain Bennington) at 6:59 in the third, and Red got that stellar effort from Nick Vacchio (22/22) to cobble together the 1-0 win over Purple they so desperately needed. As noted, Red would still need a number of cookies to crumble correctly to stay alive in the playoff picture. They would first need Olive to take care of business against Aqua later in the evening, then would need to prevail over Aqua in their finale, and hope that Charcoal would dispatch Tropical Blue in the final game of the season. Some hope is better than no hope, and Red now had ‘some hope’. The loss does little to damper Purple’s position, as Patrick Theis (14/15) & Company still sit near the creamy middle of the pack at 4-4-1. They will look to wrap their season with a ‘statement’ win over a seemingly unstoppable Silver side…a win which would be more about building playoff confidence than jockeying for a better seed.

A hot start to the season (2-0-1) for Aqua quickly cooled off, and it doesn’t get much colder than an 0-4-1 run. Futility begets frustration and fear, and the eleventh hour resurgence of Tropical Blue, and now Red (!) had Captain Steph Palomo Schmidt’s crew in an unhappy place coming into Week Thirteen. Facing an Olive team that was the red hot yin (5-0-1) to their ice cold yang only meant more frustration and fear. Falling down 0-2 through one period of play…palpable…downright edible frustration and fear. Not surprisingly, it was Josh Wirt who delivered not once (from Erin Dowrey and sub Janine Ulloa), but twice (from Will Heinl) to put Olive on the front foot, and send every ‘panic’ and ‘desperation’ chemical rushing through Aqua veins. David Schlatter broke in and finished a glorious scoring rush just eleven seconds into the second (from Mark DeGraffenreid and Janice Darlington), but Gary Peters was there to restore the two goal lead later in the period, and Olive moved into the third with a 3-1 lead, and Aqua’s will to live in a vice grip. It was at this point that all of that frustration and fear flowed into a ferocious fight back. Schlatter cut the lead back to one early in the third (from Tim Hamon and Janice Darlington), then threw a sweet centering feed that Mark DeGraffenreid poked home to knot the score at 3-3 with 6:12 to play. Schlatter would complete his hat trick (from DeGraffenreid) less than a minute later, accounting for the game-winner, with DeGraffenreid applying some paint and polish on the breakaway at 2:28 (from Tom Darlington). Chris Tran (17/20) was steady and strong throughout, giving the team in front of him the footing they needed to find their form, while Zach Siemer (10/15) suffered his first loss in an Olive uniform as a result of the crazy third period coup. When the smoke finally cleared on the sneak attack 5-3 win, Aqua lungs could finally draw a deep, clean breath, and rest reasonably assured that they would live to fight into May. ‘Reasonably’ is the operative word here, as a loss to Red (now officially eliminated) this Sunday, followed by a Tropical Blue miracle over Charcoal, and Aqua’s playoff air supply (fresh, or not) will be severed for good. Olive’s unbeaten streak has come to an end, but they can still rise as high as the two seed with a win against Maroon in their finale. An Olive win and a Charcoal win, and Captain Wendy Enright’s team will pull into the bronze position as we turn toward Week One of playoff action.

Two playoff bound teams met to measure themselves (and one another) in a regular season showdown with purely pride and a plum playoff perch at stake. Captain Shawna Hamon’s squad would look to shake off being ‘Herrmannated’ 3-1 in their last outing, while Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft’s White hoped to continue to bounce back from their first loss of the season to Purple (a 6-1 spanking) two weeks prior. The sub plot…Eric Herrmann’s one goal in Royal Blue’s final game of the season left the super sniper with 22 points on the season (14 and 8), with Charcoal’s Owen Perks looking to add to his already impressive total of 18 (12 and 6), close the scoring race gap, and bring us closer to a season COMPLETELY owned by The Perks Boys™. Perks would get that one goal late in the third (from Mark Ennsmann and Shawna Hamon), but that would be his only point in a rather decisive 4-0 win over White. Kalen Hunter opened the scoring early in the first (from Jackson Tomaszewski and Captain Hamon) before Captain Hamon herself scored a very pretty powerplay goal (from Chris Tran and Ryan Loughran) to double the advantage. The aforementioned Perks tally, and Ennsmann’s early second period strike (from Hunter and Hamon) accounted for the remainder of the scoring, as Don Tran (22/22) outdueled Chuck Bender (18/22) to leave White in the five spot in the standings at 4-2-3, and boost Charcoal into second place at 6-3-0. At the risk of sounding like a complete dick (would not be the first time), both White and Charcoal face little threat of loss in their final regular season games, with the former taking on the 0-8-1 Black, and the latter squaring off with a 2-5-2 Tropical Blue. The only major significance to either of these games will come if Aqua should lose to Red, which would keep Tropical Blue’s playoff hopes alive…but only with that Aqua loss and a (massive) upset win over Charcoal in the last game of the regular season slate. Lest I fail to mention it, Melissa Busby did not record a single point in this game. I realize that is not ‘news’ any more than ‘water is wet’ is ‘news’, but…I’m contractually obligated to point these things out.

Neither Captain Janet Goins’ Royal Blue, nor Captain Wendy Enright’s Olive had lost a game since February 5th, and with both teams nestled in the cozy upper branches of the standings, this meeting was more about playoff posturing and pride than anything else. Olive was ‘the hottest team in the league’ coming in, having won four straight after a two loss stumble out of the gate, and they would remain hot, and cool down Royal Blue in the process in the Week Eleven opener. Tomáš Jankovic got Olive rolling with his first goal (indeed, first point) of the season at 6:25 in the first, with assists to Josh Wirt and Will Heinl. A scoreless second came courtesy of great efforts in nets from both Olive’s Zach Siemer (20/21), and Royal Blue super sub, Chris Tran (20/22). Wirt put that second blemish on Tran’s sheet early in the second, converting on the power play from Heinl and Sally Jackson to push the margin to 2-0. Erin Plone is really coming into her own, and she notched her third (!) goal of her rookie campaign less than a minute after Wirt’s strike (and ‘paid the price’ in front of the net, as a result), collecting a Carl Vankoughnett pass, and flipping a backhand past Siemer to break his shutout string, and bring Royal Blue within one. Siemer and Olive would hold on to complete the rare feat of keeping Eric Herrmann off the sheet in a ‘statement’ 2-1 win that has them knocking on the door of the standings top floor. With ten points each, both teams have officially clinched a playoff berth, and can now relax, and focus on staying healthy, padding stats, and enjoying their remaining regular season games…

The haves (Silver) faced off against the have-nots (Black) in the second game on the Week Eleven Easter slate, and the result was, well, exactly what you would expect. The heroics of Matt Henderson (23/25) in nets for Black should not be lost in the result, which was closer than a typical battle of top and bottom, thanks largely to him. Sadie Hellstrom put one past Henderson at 9:22 in the first (from Joel Gattey and Matt Gottfried), but the veteran netminder shook it off, and kept his team in it from there. A scoreless second meant that Captain Shelby Shattuck’s squad had a chance at a massive coup going into the third, but…alas…this team just CANNOT SCORE. Alexis DaCosta (from Zach Salt and Gottfried) added an insurance marker at 9:38 in the third, and a two goal lead is a death sentence for any team facing Silas ‘The Silencer’ Perks (22/22), let very much alone a team with one (wobbly) goal to their credit in six games. Make that ‘…in seven games’, as Perks kept the Black attack in the sack with his third shutout of the season in Silver’s 2-0 win. Again, I don’t want to lose site of the valiance of Henderson’s effort in this one, but I also refuse to stop peeing my pants over Perk’s sublime season to this point. He is, without question, the MVP of this team (and the entire league), with an absolutely weapons-grade line of .968/0.71/3 SO. How are you going to beat a team when you can only hope (let alone expect) to score a fraction of a goal against them? Applause to Black for giving it a strong crack, especially without the services of half their team (Alan Razoky, Rich Shane, Harsh Wanigaratne, and Mark Daquipa), but this loss should serve as the final nail in a coffin that Black has been test driving all season long. Meanwhile, there are no signs of slowing down for Captain Audrey Stratton’s team, who enter their final three games at 6-0-1…the only remaining undefeated team, and the only team with a single digit number in the ‘goals allowed’ column (FIVE!)…

Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft’s White came into Week Eleven as the only team other than Silver without a loss…in spite of two close brushes with the dreaded L, and one ULTRA close brush. The ‘press’ (me) was buzzing about how ‘unkillable’ the 3-0-3 team had proven to be week in and week out, but this week proved the undoing of that trend. Captain Kerri Sevenbergen’s Purple came into the match with perhaps the most erratic/inconsistent performance history in the league…the ‘box of chocolates’ of the Winter League 2023 season, for sure. Well, they pulled nothing but sweetness from that box this time out, with much of the sugar (ironically) coming in the form of Salt. Jon Salt, to be clear…the lesser of the Salt Bros™. He opened the scoring for Purple at 6:43 in the first (from Rob LaVigne), then soloed the game-winner at 5:15 in the second. Brandon Olsen plumped the advantage to 3-0 to close out the second…setting the stage for what would typically be an epic White comeback. The comeback started with Brennan Abel at 9:31 in the third (from Jim LaGrossa and Pat Gladstone). Unfortunately for White, that is also where this rally would end. Patrick Theis (21/22) made his HOF papa proud, holding the gates shut the rest of the way, while add-on tallies from Weston Nawrocki (from Lavigne), Olsen again (this time on the power play from Salt and Mark Nagy), and Nagy from LaVigne meant that White’s string of staving off a loss was well at an end…6-1, Purple prevails. Chuck Bender (15/21) swallowed his first loss of the season, which is back pat worthy, given that White is seven games in. They remain in the top half of the standings in spite of the loss at 3-1-3, while the win gives Purple a much needed confidence boost and some breathing room in the standings at 3-3-1. White have all but punched their playoff ticket…it’s possible they already have, if I only had the patience to do the math. Purple remain on the bubble, but a Week Twelve meeting with Black, and a Week Thirteen meeting with Red have to have them feeling pretty good about their second season odds.

Captain Emily Bennington’s Red (which is really ‘maroon’) took their agenda of desperation into Week Eleven to face Captain Leah Gonzales’ Maroon (also ‘maroon’). Coming in at 1-5-0, the ‘must win’ portion of the proceedings was officially underway for the former, while the latter looked to steady the ship, riding in on a four game winless stretch that featured three blowout losses and one gut punch tie. Mostafa Azab got Red off on the right foot late in the first (from Joe Gaudio), and a pair of Gaudio (Joe again…Rob was out) passes found Scott Wieland’s tape, and subsequently the back of the net to put the underdogs on top 3-0. Mark Scelfo found the first response for Maroon late in the second (from Ezra Cohen and Vincent Santora), but Red still carried a 3-1 lead, and the hope of a resurrected season into the final period of play. Joe Malki had ideas of his own about both Red’s 3-1 lead and that whole ‘hope’ bit, and he dashed both with a pair of goals at 7:39 (from Captain Gonzales) and 1:52 (on the power play from Papa Malki and Captain Gonzales) to bring Maroon level, and level Red’s expectations of a big springboard win. Nick Vacchio (24/27) battled hard once again, but was ultimately tagged with another non-win, while Chuck Bender (13/16) reaped the benefit of the comeback surge from Maroon, to improve his record as a sub this season to 2-2-1. The 3-3 tie leaves Red at 1-5-1, needing every point they can scrape and almost certainly a bit of help to survive into May. This Sunday’s showdown with Tropical Blue is as ‘make or break’ as it gets, and they can no longer afford to lose (nor to blow a three goal lead and tie). Maroon’s winless streak has now run to five games, and while a 2-3-3 record still finds them in cut line danger, they may look back at this salvaged point against Red as their season’s salvation. Maroon will likely need at least another point or two to guarantee playoff passage. They can take solace in seeing Black on their schedule after this Sunday’s bye, but the close out the season against and absolutely-on-a-mission Olive side.

It was another clash of close colors, and (eerily enough) two teams with nearly identical trajectories to that of Red and Maroon in the nightcap, as our cover team (led by Captain Kyra Forsyth) took their ‘must win’ mindset into battle against a 2-2-2 ‘Aqua’ side (a side that came in on a three game winless slide). With just two points to their credit coming in, and just three games left in their season, Captain Forsyth’s crew would need a win win win situation to close out the season with any hope of moving on into May. Ian Crooks took the first step toward that first win for Tropical Blue, cashing in a Luke Wolmer assist to put his team up 1-0 through one. Close set penalties early in the second to Sev Brown and Nick Vacchio gave Aqua a 5 on 3 advantage, and David Schlatter took advantage of that advantage to even the score (from Matt Rogers). Schlatter would set up Mark DeGraffenreid’s first goal of the season (CONGRATULATIONS, OLD MAN!), finishing a two on one break that was sprung by Brian Sheptycki. Aqua’s lead held into the second half of the third period, but the penalty ghost game back to haunt Captain Steph Palomo Schmidt’s side, as Chris Fiore fired home a shot from the point (from Forsyth) to knot the score at two apiece. The stage was set for a big moment, and it was POTW honoree, Kaitlyn Brusso, seizing that moment, sliding home her first career goal…a game-winner, and potential season-saver with 2:07 to play. CONGRATULATIONS, KAITLYN! Sean Kelly earned his FIRST win of the season with the 11/13 effort, while Chris Tran (12/15) shouldered another bitter loss for an Aqua team that now sits right on the cut line…just two points ahead of Tropical Blue for the final playoff ticket. Help is on the way for Aqua, as they pick up Tim Hamon to replace John Hwang, who played just one game before suffering an ankle injury, and they need all the help they can get to right their ship and make their way back to safer playoff waters. Tropical Blue has just two games remaining, and this Sunday’s showdown with Red is THE game…the loser is almost assuredly done, while the winner may well find themselves knocking on the back door to May play.

Cockroaches, Marvel super villains, the giant chicken on Family Guy…all things that are ‘hard to kill’. We can officially add ‘Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft’s ‘White Hot Flashes’ to that list…maybe the top of that list, after another ridiculous reversal of fortune kept her team out of the loss column and one point closer to a playoff position. A scoreless first elapsed with both teams advancing, retreating, and trying to find their form. Ezra Cohen checked in with his first of the season at 8:40 in the second to put Maroon out front (from Vinny Santora), but Young Canuck™ POTW, Brennan Abel responded minutes later to bring the ledger level. A Jeff Henderson trip to the box for tripping found Maroon short-handed, but John Boddy found a short-handed goal (from super sub, Deborah Finucane) with just 0:22 to go in the middle frame, putting Captain Leah Gonzales’ group out front, 2-1. Joe Malki struck at 8:37 in the third, then recorded the primary assist on (really super sub) Finucane’s goal-flavored contribution to build Maroon’s lead to a sturdy, sizeable 4-1 bulge. This is when White did what White does…break your back with a killer comeback. Abel drew White within two (from super sub, Sadie Hellstrom, and Geoff Downes) at 4:22, then Phil Nguyen (from Hellstrom, again) made it 4-3 with 1:27 to play. White continued to press, pulling Chuck Bender (14/18) to allow for an extra attacker. A frantic final minute saw White swarming…sparing no effort in their push to complete another cosmically confounding coup. Brennan Abel…from a long line of Abels…so named because they are able to create facts from fable…backhand snap…0:22…4-4 is your final, folks…another non-loss for White, and a tough one point pill for Maroon…incredible! White, who by all rights could/should be 2-2-1, now sit at 2-0-3, very much in the hunt for the playoff cat bird seat, and forever brimming with confidence from here out, no matter what the score, and what the time on the clock. Maroon, who had all but counted their third win of the season, now sit at a sample platter 2-2-2 in the mushy middle of the standings with four games left on their slate.

The irresistible force that is Charcoal (twenty-seven goals in five games coming into Week Nine) met the immovable object that is Silver’s Silas Perks, who had allowed just four goals in four games coming in to the showdown. The result was…what you would expect? Zach Salt gave his goalie a one goal lead with his third of the season late in the third (from Arnold Gonzales), and one is quite often all you need with King Silas suited up behind you. Charcoal pressed for the equalizer, and Silver sought insurance, but neither team did any damage in the second, leaving everything on the line going into the final ten minutes of play. Zach Siemer (15/17) was certainly solid in Don Tran’s stead, but Matt Gottfried converted a Justin Ker pass to double the lead for Silver with 5:33 to play, and a two goal lead is almost always a winning edge for Perks. Spoiler alert, it was exactly the winning edge in this one, as Perks (20/20) stuck the dismount on another monster effort, earning his fourth win on the season in Silver’s 2-0 tiptoe past the titans of twine-tickling. The win keeps Silver lossless through the first half of their season at 4-0-1, alone atop the standings pile with nine points. Perks himself remains parked in the prime spot on the goalie stats table with a gaudy .964/0.80/2 SO line. Charcoal will definitely have a possible playoff rematch with Silver circled on their calendar, and will hope that the their co-leader in goal scoring, Kalen Hunter, will be in the lineup for that one. The player who shares that goal scoring lead for Charcoal…Owen Perks! The rematch story lines (and the Thanksgiving table smack talk) is writing itself, folks…

It is becoming more and more difficult to convey the depths of utter futility that Captain Shelby Shattuck’s ‘Black Widow’ have reached through the first half of their season. They limped into Week Nine with zero wins, ZERO goals, and just one point in the standings, which was, of course, the result of a ZERO-ZERO tie with basement buddies, Tropical Blue. Still, they had reason to believe that the fifth time would be the charm, as they lined up against an 0-4-0 Red team…the only team with less points in the standings….but also a team at least as desperate to change their fate. The first period…no surprises…scoreless, with a mere eight shots combined, and no sign of a clear edge for either side. Rob Gaudio finally broke the seal with his second in as many games (from Brother Joe™ and Mostafa Azab), to give Red that edge, and put Black (once again) on edge. After all, if you have failed to score though the first thirteen periods of the season, you have to start feeling like it may never happen. The 1-0 Red lead held well into the third period, with the clock steadily eroding Black’s morale, and Nick Meglich (10/10) remaining strong in a sub stint for Nick Vacchio. Brother Joe™ added the final nail in an already shut and sealed coffin with just 0:35 to play, taking any chance of a point out of play for Black, who once again failed to muster a single goal in the 2-0 soul-crushing loss. Matt Henderson (11/13) was forced to swallow another L, all while watching his team’s NOffence register their fifth straight goal-free game. Without grinding through piles of historical stats, I feel confident in stating that this is the worst scoreless stretch for any team in 25+ years of SDFHL play. You cannot win if you cannot score, and Black has now managed an entire half of a season without so much as a lucky bounce to their credit. It’s a bit too early to start with the math, but Black will almost certainly need to win four of their remaining five games if they have any hope of making the playoffs. Baby steps…they will need to score A SINGLE FUCKING GOAL against Olive this Sunday, as a start. The win gets Captain Emily Bennington’s side off the schnide, but at 1-4-0, they still have a long way to go to second season safety. A second straight win will be a major challenge, as they face an angry, overpowered Charcoal in Week Ten.

Captain Kyra Forsyth’s Tropical Blue entered Week Nine with the same sad, solitary point in the standings as Black…but with one more notch in the games played column. The bright side…they came in to their match with Royal Blue knowing that they could score the occasional goal, with half a dozen in the bank through their 0-4-1 first half. Captain Janet Biggerstaff Goins’ team had to like their chances in the Battle Of Two Blue Hues, as their roster features two players who themselves had already matched or bettered Tropical’s goal totals to that point in the season. Those two players, Eric Herrmann and Carl Vankoughnett, had to be licking their chops at the chance to perpetuate one of the most shocking storylines of the first half…that Sean Kelly appears to be mortal! A scoreless first saw both Kelly and Nick Meglich steady and focused, but Herrmann did find a way past the former in the second (from Glenn Pinto and Vankoughnett) to give Royal Blue a 1-0 lead. That lead lasted exactly forty seconds, as Andy Strathman (from Ian Crooks and Dan Jurgens) struck back for Tropical Blue at 2:17 in the second to even things at one apiece. A scoreless third meant that both Kelly (18/19) and Meglich (16/17) would tip their respective caps to one another in a 1-1 tie. Tropical is ‘trending in the right direction’ now, with points in consecutive games, but you cannot crawl your way to the podium in a foot race, and they remain very much on the outside of the playoff picture looking in now at 0-4-2. The door to May games could be all but slammed closed on Tropical’s stormy season if they can’t find a way to stun (the unkillable) ‘White Hot Flashes’ in Week Ten. The tie puts the ‘point’ in disappointment for Royal Blue, who could have matched Silver’s nine spot with a win, but there is really no doubt that this this shade of blue’s true colors will propel them to the playoffs.

Captain Wendy Enright’s Olive found themselves pitted in their first two games of the season, but pleasantly pimentoed (new verb the kids are all using) in their third and fourth turns, leaving them at 2-2-0, and riding a two game win streak into their first half finale. Captain Kerri Sevenbergen’s Purple took a decidedly more jagged jog into Week Nine, with blowout loss, blowout win, blowout loss, narrow win, and tepid tie their story coming into the Week Nine nightcap. Olive looked to keep their winning ways whirring, while Purple hoped to break that broken pattern, string together strong starts, and boost their confidence and playoff security in the process. Josh Tran made his opening argument for maintaining the ‘winning ways’, putting Olive on top with an unassisted strike at 8:20 in the first. Jon Salt presented his case for ‘breaking the broken pattern’ with his seventh of the season at 6:13 in the second (from Mark Nagy). The third period would be the judge, and Josh Wirt brought his robe, his gavel, and a bag full of gravel to bury Purple with a late pair of goals to keep Olive rolling confidently, and Purple rocking precariously, 3-1. Wirt’s game-winner came courtesy of a helping hand from Captain Enright at 2:13, and the empty net nail was hammered home by Josh & Josh Construction & Demolition™ (Wirt from Tran). Purple enter their bye week at 2-3-1, which would have them wringing their hands in playoff peril most any other season. This is not any other season, though, and the odds of Red or Tropical Blue closing the current three point cut off line gap while Purple sit idle are slim, at best. Meanwhile, the win pushes Olive’s record to the winning side at 3-2-0, and makes them officially the ‘hottest team in the league’, having won three straight. In fact, only one other team (front running Silver) has matched that streak at any point this season. They will hope to bump the run to four this Sunday against a beaten, beleaguered Black side.

So…another rainout, but I went back and typed up the Week Five recaps! So, fresh content (related to a stale subject)…ENJOY!