A Bigger Boat

The Sprummer 2022 season kicked off with four not-so-close games, with scores of 5-1, 6-2, 4-1, and 4-2. The Week Nine slate was packed with parity (it really satisfies), with three ties, and one two goal decision. Atomic Blue and Lime brought different records, but the same number of points to the plate. Lime was already safe from slipping into the single elimination snare, but Atomic Blue needed a point to safeguard themselves. Greg Wirth put Atomic on the board first on the power play in the first, but Captain Mark Nagy responded less than a minute later to make it 1-1 through one. It was Captain Nagy again in the second to give my odds-on Cup favorite their first lead, and time quickly became the enemy of Captain Chad Goins’ point-hungry side. Enter, soon-to-be fifty year old, Carl Vankoughnett. The old man proved he can still produce, finding twine with the game on the line at 1:38 to produce the 2-2 sister kiss with Lime. In fact, Vakoughnett has produced plenty this season, racking up 8 and 8…good enough for a tie for fifth in the scoring race. What will the next half century have in store for everyone’s second favorite SDFHL Ottawan, and what will the second season have in store for Lime, who locked in the sixth seed with the bitter pill point, or Atomic Blue, who plunged into the playoffs in style with late game point piracy?

The cops…always breaking up the party…so lame. In this case, it was ‘The Sherriff’, shutting down the Week Nine parity with another episode of undue force. Herrmann, Dinino (from Herrmann), Herrmann, Herrmann…the man has (once again) driven my recap style to Cliff’s notes format. Josh Wirt continued to wage his impressive (but futile) personal push to improve his team’s tragic trajectory, scoring twice in the final frame (the second in the waning seconds) to make the final score less lopsided, but no less loss-y, 4-2. Wirt finished the regular season with 8 and 5, good for fourth in the scoring race, while White managed just one win in a woeful campaign that landed them in dead last. Mercifully for Captain Stephanie Ann Palomo Schmidt & Company, White remains alive and kicking, ready to take on their only regular season victim, Blue, in a won or done Week One play-in game. Orange is rumored to be without secret weapon super star, David Schlatter, for all of the second season, but ‘The Sherriff’, ‘The Deputy’ and the rest of the three seed posse ride tall into a citrus clash rematch with Lime.

The tide turned back to ties in the third game of the evening, as Don Tran (16/17) and Sean Kelly (18/19) did the dazzling, and limited the damage in a 1-1 winless war. Both goalies held strong through two full, but Captain Jon Salt finally fought free and tucked one past Tran to put Pink in the pink early in the third. Flurries at both ends produced no further fruit, and the clock wound down toward a PInk win…a win which would push them into the playoff catbird seat. Well, the catbird was away, and Captain Joe Malki came out to play…spoiler, tallying the tie-maker with just three ticks left on the timer. The late let down left Pink latent in the two spot, while the point fortified Green’s claim to the four seed. It will be Salt v Salt, as Pink face Atomic Blue in a Week Seven rematch (that was bereft of the younger Salt), while Green look to reprise their Week Four triumph over Gold.

The nightcap produced another pair of parallel performances, as Captain Ryan Karns’ and a skeleton crew Blue battled Captain Heinl’s skeleton crew Gold to a 2-2 draw. Blue needed two points to avoid joining White in the play-in playoff waiting room, and the 22-9 shot count in their favor was proof of their urgency. Alan Razoky broke away, and broke through for Blue late in the second, but an own goal in early in the second (credit to Sadie Hellstrom) put Gold back on even footing. Mark DeGraffenreid worked a wrister past Nick Meglich (20/22) to give Blue back the lead midway through the third, but a bizarre, bouncing, rolling shot from Brian Sheptycki sneaked through a sea of legs and sticks, and into the back of the net to knot the score, and Blue’s stomachs, in turn. So, after a 2-0-0 season start, Blue flop to a fetid 0-5-1 finish. They will play White, with their playoff lives, and a chance to (immediately) face top seed, Grey on the line. Gold move on as the five seed, with hopes of avenging their regular season loss to Green. Dale Stuzka will make his debut in that duel, stepping in to replace injured star, Jerry Gonzales.