Hand To Gland Combat

Week 9:

Here’s hoping Blue and Gold like to watch, because they won’t be getting in on any of the hot, sweaty playoff action.  Both teams certainly flirted with playoff promise, but Navy and Burgundy proved that their desperation game was a little stronger as the ugly lights came up at closing time in da regular season club.  With all playoff holes…accounted for…these two will have to settle for some quality alone time for the coming two months.  Blue and Gold…whatever you do, don’t hang your heads.  Every team this season got a little action, and had a chance to go all the way.  Give yourselves a hand, and come…back next season relaxed and refreshed.

Navy was all but left for dead after six weeks of play, floundering along the standings floor at 1-4-1.  Their 4-2 win over Purple in Week Nine grew their win streak to three, and firmly placed the padlock on a playoff spot.  The streak matches Black’s 3-0-0 run for the best lead-up to the second season, and serves as further evidence that sports is all about getting hot at the right time.   Chris Malki was particularly hot in this one, leading the way with 2 and 1, including the game-winner.  Matt Henderson is returning to top form just in time, with his 19/21 in this game contributing to a 53/57| .929 | 1 SO line over the course of the win streak.  The win also vaulted Navy over Purple, who have taken exactly the opposite course to the playoffs, after starting the season 4-1-1.  Navy will enter the playoffs as the five seed, thanks to the head-to-head tie-breaker with Purple, who fall to the six seed.  Navy will face Pink in the early game this Sunday, while Purple will look for Pynn-aided revenge against Orange in the second slot.

Navy’s big win had to make Blue uneasy, but they still held a one point edge over Gold and Burgundy, so even a 4-0 loss to Black wasn’t a definite death knell…until it was.  Tom Darlington netted a pair, and ‘The Jons’ (Zygleman & Salt) combined for 2 and 2 to propel Black to the top spot in the final week, and leave Blue biting their collective nails.  Unfortanately for Captain Nick Vacchio and his crew, the remaining slate of games did not fall in their favor.  Nick Godinez provided some life in place of Derek Lobo, but no win, no tie, no playoffs for either blue-clad Nick.  Black’s three game surge left their final mark at 5-2-2, and Green’s loss later in the evening meant *YOINK*…top seed to Captain Rob LaVigne & Company by virtue of goal differental tie-breaker.  They will face upstart Burgundy in the third game this Sunday.

With both teams assured of a playoff berth, the Orange v Red game was strictly about playoff posturing.  Orange improved their posture with a hard-fought 2-1 win, improving their recent record to 4-0-1, and securing the three seed for the playoffs.  Carl Vankoughnett continued to produce, scoring the game-winner in the second, and assisting on Mark DeGraffenreid’s goal in the first.  Gary Peters added some late drama for Red, cutting the lead in half with 2:36 to play, and helping cut DeGraffenreid’s forehead in half with seconds to play.  Orange will look for a repeat of their regular season performance against Purple, while Red will seek redemption for their regular season loss to Green as the playoffs open this weekend.

The elections remind us that every vote counts, and Burgundy is a reminder that every goal counts.  It was win or go home for Captain Brett Cohen’s crew.  In spite of recent signs of life (a 1-1 tie with Orange, and a 6-1 embarrassment of Blue), Burgundy could not advance without a win (or at least a tie, and some creative tie-breaking).  They could not win without at least one goal.  Param Gill provided that one goal, and lifted Burgundy to the promised land with a 1-0 win over Green.  Captain Cohen himself provided the primary helper on the season-saving tally, and some chick had the second assist.  Gill’s late season heroics boosted his scoring totals to the top of the pile (7 and 7), and have granted a stay of execution for a team that most pundits had locked in the basement for life.  Green’s defeat unseats them from the top seed, but a 2-2-1 in their final five games is hardly akin to Purple’s back-in job.  They will look to prove their mettle against Red in round one, while Burgundy take on the new number one in Black.

Going last has its privileges, at least as far as panicky playoff pushes go.  Gold knew that they needed a win over Pink to survive into the holidays.  Param Gill did not walk through that door for Gold, and the resulting 0-0 tie spelled doom for Captain Zach Siemer’s creation.  Both goalies deflected every shot they faced…a rather pedestrian requirement of Pink’s Elliot Hicks (8/8), and a more impressive, but sadly futile effort for Gold’s Tiffany Fox (18/18).   So, it came down to the final game of the final week, but Gold would join Blue below the cut line, and indeed (by virtue of head-to-head tie-breaker) capture the Reese’s Cup, for the team who finishes dead last in a given season.  More on that newly-minted honor some other time…Min?  Pink enter the playoffs as the four seed, having racked up four ties in nine regular season games.  There are no ties in playoff hockey, so we’ll see which way things fold for Captain Matt Drake’s mates as they begin their playoff campaign against Navy in the opener this Sunday.

Purple Mountin’

Captain Fred ‘Diva’ Fournier’s team is purple, horny, and likes it on top. After dropping their season opener to Green, Purple have gone 4-0-1, and have risen above the orgy of teams tangled atop the standings. We now move to the third leg of the long, hard season (*giggity*). Can Purple last, or have they already shot their load?

Green remained in simmer mode after a searing start, having no wins (one loss and two ties) to show for their last three outings. Rookie, Philip Burke, recorded his first career goal with just :24 to play in the first to give Green the lead. A scoreless second followed, and with more scoreless time winding past in the third, Green looked to be a lock to get back on the winning track. Tom Darlington had something to say about that, bringing Black back from the brink, and knotting the score for good at 1-1. Green remain in the lead pack in spite of this midseason funk, while this result may prove crucial for Black’s playoff hopes as we enter the final stretch of the regular season.

Purple won both the first period and the game with Gold, 2-1, and now find themselves alone atop the standings. Jordan Pynn and Tim Vick bookended Danny Antonelli’s goal in the first, and Chuck Bender (18/19) outdueled Tiffany Fox (12/14) over the remaining scoreless frames to propel Purple to victory. Gold remain in cut line danger with the loss, just two points ahead of Navy, whom they face…you guessed it…this Sunday.

Navy find themselves in their aforementioned predicament in large part due to their inability to score. A league low seven goals in six games makes winning difficult. It is impossible to win without scoring at least once, and they indeed failed to do so against Red, falling 2-0. Bill Casey’s first of the season in the second would be all Red would need, but Captain Chad Goins added an insurance marker in the third for good measure. Marc Devoe was big in nets, stopping 21/21, while a hard luck Matt Henderson suffered yet another loss with a 24/26 line. In spite of a listless season to date, Navy can jump back into the playoff picture with a win over Gold this Sunday. A loss, and they are certainly staring down the barrel…

Fresh of a rousing upset of then-top-seeded Green, and eager to enhance their playoff prospects further, Orange squeezed past Blue, 2-1. Captain Mark Boulanger shook up the Cumquat line up coming into the showdown with Green, and his plan has paid off to the tune of two crucial wins. Boulanger provided the assist on Donald Chow’s first of the season in the second period, and Steve Linke served up Mark DeGraffenreid’s game-winner on a silver platter in the third. Kris Tosczak added some drama in the late going, cutting the lead in half with :59 to play, but super sub, Andrew Lockard (25/26), would hold on to preserve the W. Both teams now stand at six points through six games, with a fair playoff outlook going into the final third of regulation play.

Pink is heating up, and Burgundy can’t seem to find their flame. Captain Brett Cohen & Company suffered yet another loss in Week Six, this time a 6-4 barn burner. Dan Jurgens, Josh Wirt, and Captain Matt Drake combined for four goals and six assists to lead the way for Pink, while both Alan Razoky and (I swear this is not a typo) Melissa Busby each netted a pair in the loss. The win keeps Pink comfortably close to the cat bird seat, while Burgundy needs wins, and they need them now. They face off against Orange this week, and Blue to close out the month. Two big wins could mean the unlikeliest of grins for Burgundy come Halloween.

Second Base

Teams are beginning to feel each other out, and some are clearly getting very comfortable working up a sweat together on the floor.  Some are still a bit clumsy and awkward with one another, and have come up shy where others have had little trouble scoring.  The season is still young, and even the teams with the least game to this point could still find the right moves and get some action…

Red kept their darker-shaded counterparts at zero points in the standings, edging Burgundy, 4-3.  Param Gill recorded the rare in-vain-hat trick, scoring all three Burgundy goals in the loss.  Mark Daquipa earned first star honors from the blueline for Red, scoring twice, and assisting on Gary Peters’ game-winner in the third.  Mostafa Azab rounded out the scoring for Red, and Marc Devoe recorded his first W of the season with a 15/18 line.

Another battle of color wheel neighbors saw Navy and Blue battle to a 2-2 draw.  Blue was just fourteen seconds from starting the season 2-0-0, but Andy Strathman played hero, evening the score, and giving Navy its first point in the standings.  Strathman’s 1 and 1 evening matched that of teammate, Chris Malki, while Chris Tran assisted on both Blue goals (Derek Lobo and Kris Tosczak).  Both goalies were solid, with Matt Henderson bouncing back from a rough week one (14/16), and Cory Brin hanging tough in the near win (19/21).

Captain Joe Nguyen’s Green appears to be a scoring machine, racking up five goals in each of their first two games.  Tim Helmbrecht earned POTW honors by factoring in four of those five goals in Week Two (2 and 2), and rookie, Philip Burke, slathered on three assists in the 5-3 win over Gold.  Gold certainly threw everything they had at fill-in netminder, Fred Fournier, forcing the Frenchie to stop 39/42 to preserve the win.  Katherine Dicker scored her first career goal for Gold with just 0:07 to play, and Nick Adkins kept pace in the goal scoring race with two twine ticklers in Week Two.

Purple evened their record at 1-1-0, and kept Pink winless with a 2-1 result .  Wendy Enright opened the scoring for Purple late in the first, and Jim LaGrossa closed it late in the third, spoiling a solid effort from Elliot Hicks (18/20).  Patrick Fusco scored his first of the year for Pink, but it would be all that Chuck Bender would allow on the evening (9/10).  Staying out of the box (four penalties in two games), and generating more scoring (two goals in two games) have to be high on Pink’s to-do list as they look toward a Week Three showdown with Orange.

Speaking of Orange, they were blitzed, beleaguered, and beaten by Black, 3-1.   Jon Salt scored just thirteen seconds into play, and Kamal Gill  scored the game-winner with just ten ticks left in that same period.  Salt outdid himself with a goal at 9:53 in the third, and Orange never found much time and space to retaliate.  Rookie, Mike Muniz, snapped the lone goal home for Orange minutes after Salt’s second, but Steve Testen (17/18) remained resolute in out-dueling Alex Theis (20/23) on this night.

First Date

Our ten virgin captains took their respective dates out for an evening of ritualized courting this past Sunday.  These first encounters can often be a bit clumsy and awkward, and things clearly have not quite meshed yet for some of our couples.  Some seemed to be really hitting it off well, while others may need some hot tips, or a very good wing man (or wing woman) to step up.  The ultimate goal here is to score…whether you are just getting lucky, or you have great game.  It’s date night again this Sunday…pucker up, and make sure you’re wearing clean underwear.

Mark Ennsmann and Andrew Jacobsen each netted a pair of goals, and Mohan Krishnamoorthy scored the game-winner in the first as  Gold cruised past Burgundy, 5-0.  Captain Zach Siemer’s crew racked up sixteen shots in the third period alone, keeping Andrew Lockard very busy (26/31), while Don Tran needed just ten saves to record a shutout in his fill-in stint for rookie, Tiffany Fox.

Summer teammates turned to Fall foes, as Dan Jurgens and Jon Salt exchanged goals for opposing teams within a seven second span in the first period.  That would be all the scorekeeper wrote.  The 1-1 Black v Pink tie was the lowest scoring game on opening night, a game that featured the fewest total shots, as well.  This was either a great early season match-up between two defensive juggernauts, or a yawner between to offensively-challenged squads destined to be cut line neighbors come November.  Time will tell…

Captain Joe Nguyen lead off the scoring, and lead his team by example, sparking a 5-2 Green romp over Purple.   The scoring certainly appears to be balanced for Green, with four different players scoring the remainder of the goals in the opener (Tim Helmbrecht, Nick Adkins, Stephanie Palomo Schmidt, and Steve Goncalo).  Don Tran collected the win (for his own team, this time), stopping 19/21, while Chuck Bender had a rough go against a potent attack, taking the loss with a 12/17 line.

The Mark-Mark-Mara line got off to a good start on Sunday, accounting for three of the four goals in Orange’s 4-0 win over Navy.  Mara recorded an assist on the first of two goals for Captain Mark Boulanger, while Mark DeGraffenreid scored the first goal of the game, and assisted on Boulanger’s second.  Carl Vankoughnett became the first rookie to find twine this season, adding an insurance goal from long range in the third.  Fred Fournier did Alex Theis proud in a sub role, stopping all eighteen he faced to keep Orange relaxed, and on the attack in the win.

The game of the night was the nightcap between Blue and Red…no question.  The teams battled back and forth, and entered the third period knotted at three apiece.  The seesaw continued, but Chris Tran broke a 4-4 tie on the power play late in the third to give Blue the 5-4 win.  This game really could have gone either way…not unlike Steve Linke (you didn’t hear that from me).  Steve Jones recorded just one assist in his much-anticipated return to league action, while young gun speedster, London Peters, dashed and thrashed his way to a 2 and 1 effort for Red.  Kris Tosczak picked up where he left off last season, matching Peters with 2 and 1 of his own, and Derek Lobo racked up three assists from the blueline for the victors.

One & None

Captain Joe Malki’s Navy cruised into Sunday evening with plenty of weaponry, and plenty of sailor swagger. Unfortunately, they would manage just one goal against Purple. Fortunately, one goal was enough! Unfortunately, they managed zero goals against White. Fortunately, zero goals was enough! ONE goal scored in regulation in their first game, and NONE through regulation and overtime in their second game, and yet they are on to the final against Brown this Sunday. At the risk of sliding into eye-roll-worthy poetic/philosophical blather, it goes to show the power of one. Unfortunately for White, the power of that one seed was not enough to carry them through…

Ashley Herfindahl scored the one and only (non-shootout) goal of the entire night, and super sub Chris Tran (10/10) outdueled long lost cousin, and fellow super sub, Don Tran (9/10) to seal the 1-0 win for Navy over Purple. Donald Chow and Captain Joe Malki assisted on the game-winner, which came at 8:27 in the third period. It was a rollercoaster season for Captain Jon Salt’s Purple Cobras, who went winless in their first four, before a name change and front office shakeup. Navy did not have much time to relish the narrow victory before taking on top-seeded White…

You know by now that nothing of consequence happened through three periods and overtime in the Loser’s Bracket final. What you may not know is that Cory Brin was standing on his head to hold a determined Navy at bay. Brin stopped 29/29, while Chris Tran had a much less taxing night at the other end (8/8). Still, Brin had given his team a chance to prevail in the shootout, as they had done against Green in their playoff opener. That chance went to waste, as a trio of Navy shooters (Chris Malki, Mark Nagy, and Captain Joe Malki) converted their chances, answered only by White’s captain, Jim LaGrossa. The 3-1 shootout decision meant a ticket to the final for the upstart number three seed. They will need to defeat Brown in back-to-back games this Sunday to comlete their surge and capture the Cup. The teams have met just once, with Navy handing Brown their worst loss to date, 3-1…*cue intrigue music*….