Save Ferris!

Week 3:

Jon Salt’s ‘Ferris Blue-ers Day Off’ is not looking so hot in the early going. Unlike their namesake, however, they do not appear to be faking it. With just two goals, zero wins, and a -50 shot differential (ouchie) through three weeks of play, it may be best for all involved if they just stay home and get some rest on Sundays…

Girl fight!  Tiffany Fox and Melissa Busby squared off in NETS (capitalized for Melissa’s benefit) in Week Three, and the outcome was…predictable.  Fox stopped all fourteen shots she faced, while Busby managed a meager 9/12.  Glenn Pinto accounted for one of the three nicks in Busby’s numerator, and added an empty-netter to really seal the deal.  To be clear, an empty net allowed fewer goals than Busby…just want to be clear on that.  Tim Vick and Mostafa Azab provided the middle scoring layers for Pink, and Dale Stuzka collected two assists in the 4-0 win.  “I guess I am just really horrible at everything I do”, mused Busby after the loss.  Well, she’s certainly not horrible at self-assessment, and that’s…something?

Red stayed perfect in Week Three, improving to 3-0-0 with a 3-0 win over Tie Dye.  Ian Crooks accounted for the game-winner in the second, Joe Nguyen added late third period insurance, and some callous chick ‘scored’ on a poor, defenseless empty net to really rub it in Tie Dye’s innocent faces.  “It was an empty net goal…she acted like she had just won the lottery WHILE having an orgasm.  I get it…you don’t score all that often, but, I mean…have some class”, quipped Connor Miller, who assisted on the ‘big goal’.  Captain Nick Adkins collected his first shutout of the season, dropping his GAA below 1.00 in the process.  Sean Kelly took the tough loss, deflecting 19/21 real shots…the other ‘shot’ was recorded by the aforementioned female player.  To protect her identity, I will refer to her as M Busby.  No, no…that’s too obvious…Melissa B.  Phew…identity…secured.

The woes continued for Captain Chris Tran’s Purple clan.  Tran (25/28) was outstanding in NETS, flashing from post to post to stop first, second, third, and fourth chances on multiple occasions, but White wore him down and out in a 4-1 win.  Brian Sheptycki factored in all four goals for White (2 and 2), including a crucial empty netter with 1:20 remaining.  You know, people don’t get enough credit for empty net goals…it’s really not ‘easy’, folks.  Kim Hernandez was amazing in her return to SDFHL action, scoring the game-winner, and otherwise making Tran’s life a living hell.  Tom Darlington opened the scoring for White, and Danny Antonelli accounted for the lone Purple goal, as the latter sagged to 0-3-0 out of the gate.  Christian LeClair was steady, but underworked in the lopsided tilt, stopping 10/11 to collect his second win of the season. 

Orange may be the fastest and furiousest team in the league this season.  The top line of London Peters, Jet Javelet, and David Bronstein has more speed and energy then a coked up cheetah, and I’ve seen my share of coked up cheetahs, so…I would know.  That line led the way again, with Peters’ 1 and 1, Bronstein’s  2 and 0, and Javelet’s 0 and 2.  Captain Kevin Dinino snapped home the final nail in Royal’s 4-1 coffin, with the only retaliation coming from Steve Goncalo in the third.  Zach Siemer remained unbeaten in his SDFHL goalie career, stopping 6/7.  Royal falls to 0-3-0 with the loss, but the bigger loss in this one is goalie, Alex Theis.  Theis’ blocker hand was crushed by an opposing player (who shall remain nameless) after a scramble in front of the net.  He suffered significant ligament sprains, and will be out for at least a month.  Chris Tran had to abandon his stripes, and suit back up to finish the game for Theis, who exited with 4:13 remaining in the second period.  Orange continued the onslaught when play resumed, racking up 34 shots in the winning effort that leaves them as one of only two teams without a loss through three weeks of play.

Captain Kayleigh Marsolini is…kind of a bad ass.  Having never played a single minute in an SDFHL game, she eagerly volunteered to be a captain.  She kept her hand in the air, even after I explained that she was probably ‘not ready’ to draft a team.  Unseasoned captains have something of a history of being a draft table disaster, and the league had never before allowed a BRAND NEW newcomer to take the reins.  Well, it is so far, so great for the quick study, proving that confidence and determination is worth its weight in goals.   Speaking of goals, the captain herself netted the game-winner – the first of her SDFHL career – in Black’s 4-2 win over previously unbeaten Maroon.   Jim LaGrossa, Mark Nagy, and Dan Jurgens rounded out the scoring for Black, who improved to 2-1-0 on the season.  Oh…small side note…Jordan Pynn has yet to join the team.  Holy hell…maybe Kayleigh is a witch?  If not, she should definitely dress as one for Halloween.  Matt Henderson evened his personal record at 1-1-0 with the victory, stopping 17/19, while Chuck Bender suffered his first loss behind a rather dismal 7/11 line.  Justin Stege and Jerry Gonzales each scored their first goal of the season to build the hope of another miraculous Maroon finish, but it was not to be in Week Three.

REDRUM

Week 3:

Red and Maroon have taken the elevator to the top floor, having washed over their first two opponents with very different, but equally effective effectiveness. Meanwhile, all work and no goals is making Jonny a dull boy, down in the creepy basement with cousin Chris…

Footage courtesy of 1980’s ‘The Shining’ (“you don’t want to get suuuuuuuuuued” -Groundskeeper Willie).

It was Miller Time once again, as Connor matched his four-ocious first week effort with another hat trick plus tax to lead Red in a 7-1 romp over a short-staffed Green.  The SDFHL’s scoring leader (8 and 1) also added an assist on one of Joe Nguyen’s two tallies.  Incidentally, Nguyen is now number two in scoring with 2 and 5 through two games, after racking up 2 and 3 in this one to match his linemate’s five point flame job.  Captain Nick Adkins collected a ho-hum ‘W’, stopping 7/8, with his captainly counterpart, Nick Vacchio, finally breaking through for Green on the power play to spoil the shutout.  Zach Siemer (31/38) drew the unfortunate lot of filling in for the absent Melissa Busby (missing from both teams, actually), facing a relentless shooting barrage in the lopsided loss.  A loss is a loss, and this was a big one, but Green can take some solace in the fact that they were literally missing half the team (Busby, Wirt, Remple, LaVigne, Hanley).  Mind you, no one is ever really ‘missing’ Busby…she just wasn’t physically present.  Green even out to 1-1-0 with this setback, while Red improve to 2-0-0, and certainly look like a threat to the well-being of opposing goalies to come…

If Red has cornered the early market on dismantling opponents, Orange seems to have a lead in the back-and-forth-crowd-pleaser sector.  Their Week One tilt with Black went — Orange up, tie, Orange up, tie, Orange up, tie, Black up, Black up two, Black up one, tie, Orange up one, Orange up two, Orange up one….Orange holds on to win, 6-5.  There was less scoring, but the same pleasing pattern of parity against Tie Dye in Week Two — Tie Dye up (Chris Malki), tie (London Peters), Tie Dye up (Chris Malki), tie (Mark DeGraffenreid), Tie Dye up (Kamal Gill), tie (Kevin Dinino).  That’s how this one would end, a 3-3 (scintillating) sister kiss.  Zach Siemer kept his first year goalie ledger loss-free with an 11/14 performance, while Sean Kelly’s first action of the season was sharp enough (18/21) to earn Tie Dye their first point in the standings. 

Another see-saw battle saw second season seafarer, Sailboat Lewis, hoist the main and bring the pain, scoring twice to power Maroon to a 3-2 win over White.  Shawna Hamon stayed hot, but it was all for naught as Lewis’ two tallies negated her first and second period strikes, setting up Captain Brett Cohen to cash in the game-winner with just 0:47 to play.  Chuck Bender’s 14/16 pleasant surprise win was Christian LeClair’s 15/18 hard luck loss.  Oh, by the way, Week One saw Maroon win 3-2, with Lewis firing the money shot with 1:21 remaining.  So, we have another trend here…watch out for this team in the late going of a close/tie game!  Captain Cohen’s cardiac crew join their Red brethren as the only two teams to emerge from Week Two with two wins.  Would you rather have the confidence conjured from convincing wins (Red), or the poise and patience produced by close, clock-watching coups?  Tune in Week Seven for Siege v Sneak Attack. 

You can’t win if you can’t score, and Alan Razoky’s first period goal to put Purple up 1-0 in a 4-1 Week One loss to Red was the first and last non-zero output for Captain Chris Tran’s side thus far.  Pink was perfectly pleased with Purple’s poor production, of course, capitalizing with a 3-0 win to even their record at 1-1-0.  Captain Chad Goins scored the middle goal, and returned the assist favor on Tim Vick’s insurance in the third, with Dale Stuzka netting the game-winner back in the first.  Tiffany Fox had 20/20 eyes on the prize, ironically shutting out her ‘other team’ in the process.  It’s too early to freak out about an early season funk (unless we’re talking about the Sharks, then it’s panic time, for sure), but an 0-2-0 start, with one goal to show for six periods of play is nothing to shrug off.  Tran & Company will have to hope that the return of Andy Strathman in Week Four will be the turning point…they just have to hope they are not 0-3-0 by then.

Things aren’t going much better for Captain Jon Salt’s (historically purple-clad) squad…in fact, they are going a bit worse.  Baby steps, though…Royal improved from their 4-0 opening week loss to White with a 4-1 Week Two loss to Black.  Min-Soo Smith knotted the score on the power play early in the third, equalizing Ty Pereira’s last minute marker in the second, but Black proceeded to throw down a three spot to wash away any hope for a Royal redemption.  Jim LaGrossa remained white hot for Black, notching the game-winner with his fourth, and an insurance marker with his fifth on the young season.  Adam Schindler joined the team to replace the injured Troy Ohlsson, and was immediately awarded with an empty-net welcome basket.  Tiffany Fox doubled down on the Week Two wins, stopping 10/11 as a substitute for Matt Henderson.  Alex Theis is not accustomed to losing, but 14/17 is not perfect, and he clearly needs to be perfect until Royal finds their scoring punch.

Game On!

Week 1:

Disco is dead. It’s time to move past the bellbottoms and big collars, and into a new age of video arcades and synthesizers. The fixed blue line has been exposed as a communist plot to control scoring in North America, and Reagan has boldly announced that ‘our blue lines will now float free, like the people of this great nation’. So, like, totally get ready for a rad season…if we’re not all vaporized by Soviet nukes in the next few weeks.

The new season kicked off with a low-scoring struggle between Tie Dye and Green.  Captain Nick Adkins was back behind the mask, and was masterful as ever, stopping 20/21 for Tie Dye in a fill-in capacity.  The problem…he would have needed to be perfect to stave off an opening week loss for his surrogate team.  Melissa Busby, yes, THAT Melissa Busby, prevailed in her much-anticipated SDFHL goaltending debut, stopping all seven shots she faced to deliver a 1-0 win for Green.  Captain Nick Vacchio scored the only goal of the game for either side, converting at 7:47 in the second on assists from Josh Wirt, and newcomer, Matt Hanley.  It should be noted that Tie Dye was without several key players, including Captain Joe Malki, and the very rarely absent Kamal Gill.  Someone may want to check on Kamal…it’s not like him to miss games.

Busby had to strip down in a hurry (she’s well-practiced), and get on the floor (well-practiced) for her second game of the night, as Red and Purple fired up their respective fall campaigns.  Alan Razoky struck first for Purple midway through the first, on assists from Carl Vakoughnett and goalie/captain, Chris Tran, but it was all Red from that point on.  More specifically, it was all Connor ‘For Real’ Miller.  Miller evened the score minutes after Razoky’s strike, gave Red a 2-1 lead late in the second, and added two more for good measure in the third to bring the final score to 4-1, Red over Purple.  Joe Nguyen and Julie Ott each collected two assists on the evening, and Captain Nick Adkins fared much better in this game, stopping 9/10 to earn his first W of the season. 

John Gamm put Pink on the board in the first, and Kris Tosczak pumped the Pink lead to 2-0 early in the second, but Maroon would chip away, and ultimately notch an opening week win.  Jon Zygelman netted a pair in the second, and provided the second assist on Sailboat Lewis’ game-winner in the late going, as Maroon stranded Pink on an is-L-and, 3-2.  Shelby Shattuck racked up three assists, giving us the perhaps the first glimpse at the upside to the floating blueline for defenders, and Chuck Bender (16/18) outdueled Tiffany Fox (16/19) to get his team off to a winning start.

White was dominant from start to finish, cycling and shooting with mid-season moxie in a 4-0 takedown of Royal Blue.  Brian Sheptycki’s first period marker would stand as the game-winner, but Shawna Hamon was the real force in this one, throwing down 2 and 1 to lead White’s relentless charge.  Eric Caligiuri rounded out the goal scoring for the winning side, and Captain Mark Ennsmann amassed three assists…one in each period.  Christian LeClair, who struggled in his debut SDFHL season over the summer months, earned his first career shutout with a 9/9 line, while Alex Theis was superb as ever, but ultimately shot into submission in a 21/25 losing effort at the other end. 

The night was capped with a mad capped tennis match, with Orange holding on, and holding serve, 6-5 over Black.  Speaking of tennis, there was no love lost between quasi-newcomer, David Bronstein, and Dan Jurgens.  The two tangled, and ultimately got tossed in the second period, but not before Bronstein put Orange on the board in the first.  Jim LaGrossa evened things minutes later, then equalized Jet Javelet’s first strike in the second to bring the score to 2-2.  Javelet did not wait long to give Orange a 3-2 lead, around the time that Bronstein and Jurgens were being hauled off to jail.  It was LaGrossa AGAIN to level the score early in the third…THREE tying goals in the same game (!), and this time, Black broke the pattern and scored next (Ty Pereira).  Orange did some pattern-breaking of their own, rattling off three straight (London Peters, Gary Peters, Mara Bernd) to mount a 6-4 edge.  This game couldn’t possibly end quietly, though, and Mark Nagy kept the tension on with a goal at 0:08 remaining to make it 6-5.  Orange managed to survive the final ticks on the clock, giving Zach Siemer (12/17) a hard-earned first win in his first SDFHL game in nets. 

Twist Of Fate

Finals:

The fruit of Captain Wendy Enright’s night at the draft table certainly suffered through some sour times, but they squeezed into the playoffs with two late season wins, and the seventh seeds survived and surprised their way to a sweet, sweet victory.

Week Four playoff action saw a determined Tie Dye blank Black, 4-0. London Peters hung a hat on the opponent, while Brian Sheptycki continued to crush teams’ dreams with 1 and 3 in the elimination domination. Melissa Busby was gifted another assist on the game-winner…she’s special…let her have the point. Chris Tran stopped 19/19 as a stand in for the east bound and down Mark Boulanger, while Don Tran (13/16) suffered from a lack of support in the loss. Captain Siemer’s team was one step closer to the top with the win, but Lime was waiting at the top of the Loser’s Bracket stairs…

Malkis, Malkis, everywhere! The family affair prove too much to bear for Tie Dye, who fell 2-0 in their second game of the night to a rested and ready Lime. Joe Malki notched the game-winner early in the first, and Papa Chris Malki sealed it late to punch Lime’s ticket to the finals. Alex Theis was perfect in nets, stopping 12/12, while Chris Tran’s mojo took a dip in the nightcap, with 10/12 not enough to psave the psychedelic pside. It was on to the finals for Captain Wendy Enright, and her band of Malkis and misfits…

The scene was set for a final dance off in the disco themed 54th season. In one corner, ‘Wissco Brinferno’…Captain Salt’s second straight entry to the final fight, having entered as the fourth seed, and scrapped their way past some tough challengers. In the other, ‘Stayin’ A-Lime’, the scrappiest of challengers, with more swagger per square inch than a seventh seed has ever shown. The evening began with a scoreless chess match, stretching past regulation and OT, and into a shoot out. The shoot out was just as scoreless as the previous stages of the game, until Captain Wendy Enright herself converted on her team’s final attempt of the first round. Alex Theis iced his 10/10 cake with a 5/5 shoot out gem to propel his team to a game two, winner-take all rematch with a wild 1-0 win. Cory Brin was the hard luck loser in this one, having stopped 27/27 before the last of five shoot out attempts found a way past his pads.

Patrick Fusco got Purple on the board early in the second game, converting on the power play to give the favorites their first lead…their first goal of the night. Joe Malki would equalize minutes later, and Emily Lincoln would reverse the lead minutes after that. Lime’s 2-1 edge held through two more periods, and Alex Theis (11/12) battened down the hatches and raised the victory flag for Lime. Lime also raised the Cup with the win, capping an improbable (seemingly impossible) run from dead last in Week Seven to champions two months later. Purple certainly deserves a round of applause for their run, as well, particularly Cory Brin, who battled back from a concussion early in the season to lead his team from the back every game. This last game was no exception, with Brin stopping 19/21 in a valiant losing effort.

Congratulations to the SDFHL Summer League 2019 Champs, ‘Stayin’ A-Lime’!
Back Row L=>R Ian Crooks, Tyler Winstead. Anthony Cerasuolo, Harsh Wanigaratne, Christian Malki, Chris Malki, Joe Malki, Justin Stege
Front Row L=>R Wendy Enright (C), Alex Theis, Emily Lincoln

Burn Notice

Playoff Week 3:

Captain Salt & ‘Wissco Brinferno’ haven’t exactly torched their last two opponents, but they find the fatal flame when the heat is on, and have flickered their way into the Final.

Tim Vick scored twice for Gold, but his second strike came in the final minute of play, and only served as window dressing in a 4-2 elimination loss to Tie Dye. London called twice for the winners, with the younger Peters scoring just :34 into the first, and adding an empty netter late in the third. Alan Razoky contributed 1 and 1, and Brian Sheptycki collected a helper on Peters’ first goal to compliment his power play game-winner in the second. Melissa Busby was credited with an assist, which was a sweet score keeping gesture for a ‘special’ player (thanks, Noceti). Elliot Hicks stood tall in nets for Tie Dye, who have been without a regular goalie since Mark Boulanger blew town. His 15/17 line was a winner to Matthew Henderson’s hard luck elimination string of 18/21. Gold’s glass slipper days have ended, while Tie Dye march on to face Black in the first of two elimination games tonight!

Captain Mark Ennsmann took matters (and his opponent’s playoffs neck) into his own hands, and squeezed tightly to the tune of two goals. That would be just enough offense to do the trick, as Black ousted Orange, 2-1. Jet Javelet put Orange on the board early in the third, but a beast mode Don Tran (26/27) was not about to let Orange come back for seconds. Andrew Jacobsen found himself in a rare supporting role in the win, assisting on both of his captain’s conversions. Orange join color cousins, Gold, on the playoff funeral pyre, while Black live on to face Tie Dye in what is sure to be an epic elimination match.

Cory Brin and Andy Strathman…the alpha and omega in Purple’s 1-0 shootout slide past Lime. Brin had 20/20 vision through regulation and OT, and his perfection persisted into the shootout phase. Alex Theis deflected all fifteen he faced through three and half periods of play, but Andy Strathman’s stick struck midnight for the seventh seeded Cinderellas, sending Purple to the promised land and Lime to limbo. Captain Enright’s team is still ‘Stayin’ A Lime’, but they will need to knock off the winner of Black v Tie Dye to earn a chance at revenge and redemption in the Final.