Captain Chad Goins became the first casualty of the young season, suffering a broken left foot in the opening period of the first SDFHL action in over a year…but not before getting his team off on the right foot (*rim shot*) with a goal in the first minute of play. His counterpart, Captain Mara Bernd, evened the ledger later in the period, and her teammate, (newcomer) Rick Nelson, impressed with his first and second career goals to give his team the lead, and some leeway in Blue’s 3-1 win over Yellow. Cory Brin snatched the win with a sleepy, but solid 8/9 outing, while Chuck Bender suffered the loss, stopping 16/19.

It was as if COVID never happened (and I didn’t even have to change the musty old ‘POTW’ feature), as Jordan Pynn was in tip-top ‘Pynn for the win’ form…big shocker. Pynn dished up 2 and 2, pacing the Black attack, and helping rookies Devin Austin and Michael Blake savor their first taste of SDFHL goal glory. Mark DeGraffenreid provided the only answer with a late powerplay goal, spoiling Don Tran’s shutout bid (17/18) in the process. Black’s 4-1 Purple bashing was particularly impressive, with both Jon Salt (herpes flare up) and Glenn Pinto (tennis pinkie) out of the lineup. Captain Steph Palomo invited all other captains to the ‘shade parade’ after the win, adding ‘you thought COVID was bad, bitches…we ’bout to unleash a motherfuckin’ Pynndemic!’. Stay…classy?

The nightcap was something of a snooze fest through two, as the number of hammy stains and ankle twists outnumbered genuine scoring chances. Dale Stuzka finally found twine early in the third, and Bill Casey added an empty netter on a crazy rink-long backhand flip to seal it for White, 2-0 over Red. Rookie netminder, Jared Spencer, sparkled in his debut, stopping 14/14, including a few clean breakaways and a 4 (yes, FOUR) on 1! Melissa Busby (23/24) took the hard luck loss, but she is used to losing…loser. Speaking of losers, here’s hoping more of you losers check your email next time I send out an invite, so we can scrape together more than six teams. I would have thought people were desperate to play, but…guess I am just a fool.

The rains that washed out Week Two stayed away in Week Three, but Connor Miller rained on Purple’s parade, all the same.  The sassy sniper converted on a power play late in the first, and doubled the lead for Orange late in the second.  Joe Malki struck back for Purple early in the third, but Ty Pereira restored the two goal lead later in the frame.  Chad Goins kept things interesting with a wicked wrister on the power play with 0:28 to play, but Orange would hold on to win, 3-2.  Matt Henderson stopped 13/15 in the win, while Zach Siemer absorbed the loss in lieu of Cory Brin with a 15/18 line.  The loss has Purple sharing a basement bed with Green at 0-2-0, while Orange improve to 1-0-1 to keep pace toward the top of the early season pack. 

Andrew Jacobsen opened the scoring for Pink early in the first, and closed the game with an empty-netter in the final minute, as Pink pushed past Green, 4-2.  Jacobsen had an assist, as well, providing the lone helper on Michael Bottomley’s self-proclaimed ‘only goal of the season’ (he later added his ‘only assist of the season’ on AJ’s empty netter).  AJ is AJ…always great, but Eric Willard provide the real wow factor, and the game-winner for Captain Karns crew, dancing through several Green defenders, and snapping home the decisive strike midway through the third.  Alex Theis recorded the second assist on Willard’s wizardry, and stopped 14/16 on the ol’ day job, handing Zach Siemer (15/18) his second surrogate loss of the afternoon.

In the immortal words of Jasper from the Simpsons…”that’s a paddlin’”.  Kris Tosczak dropped a hat trick and a helper, and four other scorers got in on the act (Michael Froman, Philip Nguyen, John Gamm, and Alyce Perry), as Grey took a paddle sledgehammer to Gold, 7-2.  Captain Mark Ennsmann chalked up three assists (as did Gamm), and four other Grey players added assists to their stat totals in the beat down.  Nick Adkins was not all-too-taxed in a fill-in role for the injured Chris Tran, stopping 11/13 (with the second non-save coming with just seven seconds remaining).  Christian LeClair was saddled with the loss, and must be a bit saddle sore after a 15/22 outing. 

One good beat down deserves another, apparently, as the SDFHL’s trademark parity went out the window for a second straight game.  A Jones-less Mint was completely White washed, as Captain Jordan Pynn (2 and 2) led his team to a 6-0 win in their first game of the season.  Carl Vankoughnett chipped in 2 and 1, Bill Casey 1 and 1, and Kevin Dinino 1 and 1, while Don Tran stretched and yawned his way to a 7/7 shutout.  The shot totals were as lopsided as the score, as Chuck Bender suffered the White slings and arrows to the tune of 18/24.  The loss evens Mint’s record at 1-1-0, while White certainly look ready to rumble right out of the box with a crazy convincing inaugural performance. 

Jon Salt tallied twice, and his second proved to be the game winner in Red’s 4-2 win over Black.  Armando Antunez had Red on the board early in the first, and Dale Stuzka netted a short-handed strike to make it 2-0.  Salt’s pair followed to make it 4-0, and third period responses from Gideon Schon and Captain Mark Nagy narrowed, but could not negate the gap.  Sean Kelly had an uncharacteristically tough night, stopping just 8/12, while Tiffany Fox was feeling it for Red at the other end, securing the win in her season debut with a 20/22 line.  Red find themselves in a tie with Grey atop the standings at 2-0-0, while Black drop to the middle of the pack with a 1-1-0 start. 

The schedule maker (apparently) saw no problem pitting the most like-shirted teams against each other in the very first week of play. It was a bit hard to tell ‘Gold’ from ‘Orange’ out there, and even the score ended up matchy-matchy. Ash Wadhwa was in a fiery mood, and he had the hot hand for Orange, as well. He put Orange on the board early in the second, tied the game with his second at 6:29 in the third, and added a good old fashion shouting match for good measure in the waning minutes. Newcomer, Michael Betsch, wasted no time scoring his first career SDFHL goal with assists to Matt Hanley and Jim LaGrossa. LaGrossa gave Gold the lead with just one tick left in the second to complete a two point night, but Wadhwa’s aforementioned third period strike made it a 2-2 tango. Christian LeClair was steadier than he has been for most of his short SDFHL career, stopping 17/19, while Matt Henderson rebounded from the sting of Final failure to preserve a point for Captain Wirth’s side with a 14/16 effort.

Continuing the hard-to-tell-apart Week One theme, it was a muddle of Red and Pink in the second game of the season. Alex Theis was other-worldly in this one for Captain Karn’s lighter shaded side (31/33), but Vance Morra found a hole and filled it to give Red a 1-0 lead in the second. Andrew Jacobsen made his return to the league, and returned the scoring favor for Pink to make it 1-1 going into the third. Theis was sharper with each passing minute, but Jon Salt peppered him with long shots, then sliced in a sneaky strike from a tough angle to put Red up for good, 2-1. Theis was saddled with the tough loss, while Matt Henderson (10/11) recorded the win in a fill-in roll for Tiffany Fox, who was out in Vegas with Captain Danny Antonelli.

Speaking of other-worldly, London Peters is some kind of bionic being created in a lab to tests the limits of speed on the human form. Captain Kayleigh Marsolini and her crew held strong while he drag raced them up and down the court, but the young gun finally broke through on a long wrister to give Black a 1-0 lead at 3:53 in the third. Brian Sheptycki answered two minutes later to make it 1-1 and set up a fight to the finish. It was deja vu all over again for Melissa Busby (9/11), as Peters (who else) snapped a shot from just inside the blue line…off her body…over her head…in behind her…game over, 2-1 Black over Green. Busby battled, but was bitten again, while Alex Theis recorded the win he deserved in his own team’s game, stopping 17/18 to spell the absent Sean Kelly.

Grey and Purple squared off, and produced yet another low-scoring game decided by one goal. In fact, the two teams combined for one goal in this one. That one goal belonged to Captain Mark Ennsmann, who spoiled Cory Brin’s night at 3:54 in the first, with assists to Alyce Perry and Jeremy Zillmer. Brin (6/7) was by far the less busy of the two goalies in this one, as Nick Adkins stopped 24/24 to steal a win in Chris Tran’s absence. Considering that Grey was without the services of Kris Tosczak, Michael Froman, John Gamm, and Philip Nguyen, this 1-0 win over a fully-staffed Purple is certainly the Crazy Coup Of The Week (new feature I am trying out).

Well, it took all five games, but Week One finally saw a ‘decisive win’. By ‘decisive’, I mean a huge, two goal takedown, of course. Steve Jones is back (pardon the pun), and still doing damage with his stick (pardon the pun). Jones scored late in the first, and late in the third to lead the charge for Captain Zach Siemer’s Mint side. Mark Daquipa collected two assists, and both Dan Jurgens and Julie Ott each had a helper in the 2-0 win over Blue. Captain Nick Adkins would have liked the result he had as Chris Tran’s surrogate in the prior game, but he got a 10/12 loss, instead. Chuck Bender stopped 12/12 the other way, keeping the vaunted returning veteran, Jeff Anderson, at bay on the way to a nice, fat Week One win.