With the usual field of eight now set, Week Two opened with half that field sitting on one loss, and half looking to remain unbeaten. Captain Joe Malki’s ‘Tranaconda’, and Captain Steph Palomo Schmidt’s ‘Pearl Chen’s Summer Tour’ found themselves in the former camp, hoping to survive their first scrap in the Losers’ Bracket trenches. It was Papa (Chris) Malki who led the way throughout, and led off the scoring for Green, accounting for the lone goal in a furious (yet, near-futile) first period that saw his side rack up FIFTEEN shots. The tide turned swiftly in favor of the underdogs in the second, as Harsh Wanigaratne and Steve Goncalo scored at 9:28 and 8:18 to move White out to a one goal edge. It was Malki again (Chris), then more Malki (Joe, on the power play) to wrest the lead back for Green later in the frame, and at this point, all signs pointed to round six of the Week One parity parade. Nope. Nick Vacchio went off script and put Green up by two early in the third, but Josh Wirt cut the lead back to the customary thinnest of margins a little over three minutes later, and the race to the finish line was on. Well, as ‘natural hat tricks’ go, this one was pretty lame (no disrespect). Vacchio’s empty netter pumped Green’s lead back to two, and his second empty netter put White down and out for good, 6-3. It certainly wasn’t the blowout that the final score made it out to be, but it did take an ultra-valiant fill-in effort from Zach Siemer (31/35) to keep it close. Don Tran (25/28) was no slouch at his end either, but the real story you can trust is that White never really managed to pose a threat to anyone but ‘Karnsma Police’ (RIP) this season. White become the second team on the playoff scrap plie, while Green live on to face the next lowest remaining seed in #7 Atomic Blue this Sunday.

The second game on the slate featured the other duo in the ‘do or die’ camp, as a (still) stunned and (now) steeled Pink faced off against the people’s champion, Lime. Knuckles whitened on both benches, as neither side could seem to solve the stellar shot-stoppers in the personages of Sean Kelly and Don Tran (subbing for legend in his own right, Alex Theis). Two scoreless periods elapsed, when Captain Mark Nagy finally broke the scoring seal on the powerplay to put Lime on top 1-0. It was Dan Jurgens who was in the box for Pink when that strike was struck, but Jurgens redeemed himself by assisting on the counterstrike from Joe Nguyen less than two minutes later to bring things level with half a period to play. All good things must come to and end…even the playoff run of my stone cold lock Cup favorite….actually, especially that…must definitely come to an end. The end took the form of…who else, Captain Jon Salt himself. The Pink captain converted a Matt Gottfried feed to build their first lead — a lead that Sean Kelly (15/16) and company would never relinquish…2-1, Pink over Lime. Don Tran (19/21) absorbed the last loss of the season for his surrogate team, who were one-two punched out of the playoffs in (very) tight losses to two of the toughest teams. ‘SubLime’ can certainly hold their heads high for their consistent level of compete from season start to finish. Local fatso and Lime super defender, Steve Linke, wistfully remarked that “this team almost made me forget about my crippling obesity, and the fact that I will be 80 next week”. Reporters quickly reminded their (super) elder that he is, indeed, very fat, and that he turned 80 a month prior…but who’s counting? Where was I…oh…Pink push forward as the highest-powered bottom in the Loses’ Bracket, and will look to sweep the leg on a Sheptycki-less Gold this week.

Captain Joel Gattey’s Orange is, well, named after a man who got away with murder. In that spirit (and, in hindsight), it can safely be said that Gattey himself ‘got away with murder’ at the draft table. Eric Herrmann is a clear first overall pick, but David Schlatter was a relative unknown…a dice roll…an x factor back on draft day. Well, if he is still a ‘relative unknown’ to you, then you haven’t played against him. The fact that this beast is on the same team, let alone the same line as Herrmann…historically sick duo from hell. Mercifully for opponents, that duo has only appeared together in five of eleven games for Orange thus far. Unfortunately for Atomic Blue, half of amazingly awesome is still either amazing or awesome, and Schlatter was one or the other for sure in a powerhouse playoff performance that pushed Orange on to the Winner’s Bracket Final. Wendy Enright had the lone assist on Schlatter’s game-winner midway through the first, Chuck Russell doubled the lead with help from Ian Crooks in the second, then it was Schlatter unassisted, and Schlatter from Enright again to cap the scoring in a 4-0 Orange roll over Atomic Blue. In the glare of all of the offensive star power, it’s easy to lose sight of the steady defense, and the netminding heroics that have brought Orange to this point. Chris Tran stopped 26/26 to stamp out any threat of a close contest, and a Hermann-less Orange moved on with relative ease to face their top-seeded rivals, Grey. Atomic Blue still have second life in the Losers’ Bracket, where they will face a team they tied 2-2 in Week Five, Green.

Captain Will Heinl’s maiden voyage at the helm of an SDFHL ship has been mostly smooth sailing. However, as any sailor can tell you, the seas can be rough and unpredictable, and you just have to hope that your crew stay onboard and healthy. After losing Jerry Gonzales to a knee injury at the end of the regular season, Gold was able to enlist the services of Dale Stuzka, and his presence helped the five seed overcome in a Week One thriller. Stuzka provides smarts and stability, but the man hoisting the main sail and manning the cannons is clearly Brian Sheptycki. Without him, Gold may find themselves sinking…and that was the case against the dread pirate, Grey(beard). Jordan Pynn wasted no time putting the favorites in favorable position, striking six seconds in to set a grim tone for Gold. Elliot Hicks tempered that tone later in the period, but Rob Gaudio turned it back up to make it 2-1 in favor of the one seed through one. Gaudio then assisted on Brandon Olsen’s game-winner in the second, before adding a powerplay goal early in the third, and an empty netter to complete the hat trick in the waning minutes to seal the 5-2 winning deal for Grey over Gold. Stuzka recorded his first point in a Gold shirt, providing the lone helper on Vinny Santora’s third period marker, but it was not nearly enough to get Gold near enough on the scoreboard to make this one interesting. Grey’s formidable firepower made it a long night in nets for Nick Meglich (15/19), while Parsa Mostafavi (11/13) continued to put shine on his Calder campaign with yet another win, helping his team cruise through to a Winner’s Bracket showdown for the ages with Orange. Gold will once again be without the services of their super sailor, Sheptycki, and hope not to find themselves Shep-wrecked in a life or death scrap with Pink.

The four and five seeds squared off in 3:30 showdown to kick off the Week One slate. With five games scheduled for the first time in SDFHL history, this early start time would all but guarantee that all games would wrap before lights out, even if (scoff) every game went into OT and/or shootout. The first period saw furious back and forth action, with Brian Sheptycki putting Gold up one just 0:11 in, Nick Vacchio responded just 0:26 later, then added a second at the 8:10 mark. Ezra Cohen evened matters at 2-2 minutes later, but Chris Malki snatched back the lead for Green to close out a wild first frame. A scoreless second saw Nick Meglich (36/39) add eleven saves to his impressive nightly total, and both goalies kept things clean all the way through the third, as well…well…almost clean, and almost all the way through. With just 0:05 left on the clock, Vinny Santora converted a sparkling feed from Brian Sheptycki, sending his bench into a frenzy, and sending the first game of the night into overtime. The five minutes of bonus hockey produced no winner, so it was on to the shootout. Recent Jerry Gonzales replacement, Dale Stuzka, and Chris Malki came up empty in the first round, Ezra Cohen and Nick Vacchio were sent off scoreless in the second round, then Brian Sheptycki and Captain Joe Malki matched markers in the third round. It was the regulation hero reprising his role in the fourth round, as Vinny Santora cashed in to give Gold a 2-1 edge. Tom Darlington failed to match Santora on his turn, and a blank-blank round from Sadie Hellstrom and Jeanine Stuzka meant that Gold would finally, incredibly, prevail 4-3 in a marathon thriller over Green. So much for the early start…one game in, and the 4:30 game would now be starting at about 5:05…tick tock…

The second game was much of the same…very close…too close for regulation to decide. Pat Gladstone picked the right time for her first goal of the season, and that time was 0:05 remaining in the first. ‘The Matts’ (DeBerry and Gottfried) collected assists on that goal, and ‘The Gottfrieds’ (Kaity and Matt) assisted on Captain Jon Salt’s early second period goal to make it 2-0, Pink. Carl Vankoughnett cut the lead in half minutes later, and Mostafa Azab brought Atomic Blue even early in the third. Sean Kelly (20/23), and Nick ‘The New Wayne Wong’ Vacchio (15/17) kept things level the rest of the way, and we were on to OT for the second time in as many games. Mercifully, this one didn’t stretch deep into OT and beyond, as Luke Wolmer netted the game-winner on the power play just fourteen seconds into extra time (assists to Zach Salt and Kyra Forsyth). The 3-2 overtime Atomic Blue win over Pink was certainly a stunner, and will no doubt also haunt Captain Salt’s Thanksgiving table for years to come. The two seeds now find themselves on the Loser’s Bracket side of the fence, after losing their first game since their May 1st opener. Atomic Blue stride on to the Winner’s side of the picture, and will look to topple three-seeded, Orange to continue their sneak attack on the throne this Sunday.

On to game three…now running over an hour behind…tick…tock. Enter Blue and White, the first ever participants in a ‘play-in’ game in league history. Blue won their first two games of the season, then slid into a deep funk to finish in the eight spot at 2-5-1. White…the only team with a worse record at 1-6-1, but also having collected their only regular season win at Blue’s expense. Alan Razoky was in his old first round form in this one, accounting for all three Blue goals (with Mark DeGraffenreid providing all three primary assists), but White had an answer for every Razoky question. Josh Wirt, Harsh Wanigaratne, and Jeff Chen each provided one of those answers to bring regulation to a close with YET ANOTHER tie. Cory Brin (17/20) was almost twice as busy as Chuck Bender (8/12), but the important number is overtime goals against. Brin won that battle, as Wirt got loose and delivered the last nail in Blue’s Sprummer coffin with 0:18 remaining, playing White into the playoffs with a 4-3 OT win. It was clearly never really meant to be for Captain Ryan Karns and ‘Karnsma Police’, while White’s ability to beat them was the key to the ‘real’ second season…starting right away against top-seeded Grey…

Shockingly (sarcasm), it was another tight, nail-biting tilt between a rested Grey, and a worn, but warm White. If you’re scoring at home, this game started closer to 8:00 than 7:30…it was originally scheduled for 7:00…tick…tock. A scoreless first bled into a scoreless second, and White had to be waiting for another wow moment to complete a staggering opening night coup. That moment never came, as Parsa Mostafavi (11/11) held the fort, and held off a hard-charging Wirt to lead Grey to a 1-0 win. It was Rob Gaudio (from Jim LaGrossa and Brandon Olsen) doing the only damage to Cory Brin’s stat line (14/15), but the lone goal would be the game-winner, as regulation finally, mercifully, produced a winner. White remain alive in the playoff picture, but face a tough challenge in Green in Week Two. Grey march on to face #5 Gold, whom they bested 3-0 in Week Seven.

TIck tock…definitely up against the clock now, as Orange and Lime wrapped warm-ups at around 8:45. Vance Morra was absolutely on a mission out of the gate for the underdogs, accounting for the only goal in the first, and snapping a second past Chris Tran to give ‘SubLime’ a 2-0 lead through two. Well…almost through two. Chuck Russell sneaked a retaliation in with 0:14 to go in the middle stanza, then brought Orange even early in the third (from Gary Peters and David Schlatter). This is going to shock you, but…that’s how regulation would end, with a 2-2 tie, and the clock hands spinning swiftly towards ‘lights out’. At approximately 9:43, Gary Peters struck to turn the lights out on Lime 3-2, with Chuck Russell on the primary assist to earn the primary star of the night with 2 and 1 totals. The loss was not without an impressive silver lining for Lime. They (somehow) managed to hold Eric ‘The Sherriff’ Herrmann to ZERO points, and David Schlatter to one measly second assist. Steve Linke earns an honorary star for having a heavy hand in that feat, and Lime will need him at his best, and a stellar sub showing from Don Tran again to survive Captain Jon Salt and a hungry-for-vengeance Pink. Chris Tran (9/11) and Orange move on to face upstart Atomic Blue in Week Two, with the their regular season 6-1 Schlatter-less smash job serving as copious confidence fuel.

For the first time in league history, nine teams set sail on playoff waters. Spoiler alert, something will likely go horribly wrong for eight of those teams. One team will find space on a life boat, float past the frozen bodies of their foes, and be rescued by the RMS Cup Winner. It’s sink or swim, starting this Sunday…

Orange squeezed Lime 3-1 in the SDFHL Citrus Bowl, all while ‘The Herrmannator’ enjoyed a much needed break after dealing a five goal death punch to Green in Week Seven. David ‘The New Deputy’ Schlatter led the way in the absence of ‘The Sherriff’ (he’s so good he has two nicknames), equalizing Eric Willard’s opening strike in the first, then potting the game-winner in the second (with primary assist to ‘The Old Deputy’). Chuck Russell added insurance in the third, but you can carry a pretty lean insurance policy when you have Sean Kelly in nets. Kelly stopped 16/17 in a fill-in roll for the ailing Chris Tran, and Alex Theis (21/24) was no slouch, but found no solace in the loss. Orange have run their win streak to three, having outscored their opponents 15-4 in that span. Their 4-2-1 record assures them no worse than a four seed, but no better than a two seed in the looming playoffs. Lime remain in the lower standings pack at 3-4-0, but should be safe from the play-in game eight and nine spots, barring some crazy math/tie breaker scenario.

Captain Jon Salt’s ‘Fembots’ had not lost a game since their week one stumble out of the blocks against pole-sitters, Grey. They will enter the final week of play with the very same bragging rights, and a chance to move past their first week foil, who can only wait and watch from the bye week couch. Arnold Gonzales put Pink in prime position just 0:26 in, but Alijay Omar scored his first career SDFHL goal (CONGRATULATIONS!) less than two minutes later to bring Gold even. Dan Jurgens netted the game-winner just a minute or so after serving a slashing penalty (assists to Kaity & Matt Gottfried), and Captain Salt himself (from the lesser Gottfried) capped the scoring for Pink in the 3-1 win. Oh yeah, Sean Kelly (13/14) was in this game, too. His efforts ran his record to 5-1-1 with a .957/1.57…ho hum…totally human stuff here. Nick Meglich (21/24) is having another great season, albeit with not-as-great (team) results as his starring turn with last season’s ‘Sweet Child O’ Malki’. So, Pink is poised to snatch the top spot, while Gold will hope to hand Blue their sixth straight loss, and shore up their playoff positioning, in the process.

Captain Stephanie Ann Xavier Jesus Palomo Schmidt, Esq and her White side have really found a home on the corner of Skills Galore Street and Tough Luck Terrace. Their find-the-banana-peel season seemed to have FINALLY taken a turn for the better after a rousing first period that saw them take a 3-0 lead on fellow struggle bus riders, Atomic Blue. To no one’s surprise, it was Josh Wirt leading the charge, scoring the first and third goals of the period, and assisting on the second (Captain Palomo Schmidt’s second of the season) in between. The second period saw a bounce back for Atomic Blue, with Captain Chad Goins cutting the lead to two, and Zach Salt making it 3-2 half a minute later. White went to Wirt again to restore the momentum, and restore the two goal edge, making the two period total 4-2 in favor of a win-starved White. Spoiler alert…the White hunger would extend yet another week. Luke Wolmer converted a Carl Vankoughnett pass to make it 4-3, Wolmer assisted on Captain Goins’ second of the game to knot the scores at fours, then Vankoughnett broke the tie, and (once again) broke already-hurting hearts with the 5-4 game-winner, Atomic Blue over White. This is the perfect season for a ‘caged tiger’ to come roaring back to free and ferocious form, and no team is more caged, nor more tiger than White. There 1-5-1 mark assures that they will be one participant in the play-in party, but they may well be a force to reckon with if they survive. The good news is that they will likely face Blue in that showdown…the one team they have managed to manage to this point. The other good news is that they have Josh Wirt, who earned rare POTW-in-a-loss with the 3 and 1 outing. Meanwhile, the win propels Atomic Blue closer to a legitimate playoff seed, but a Week Nine loss to Lime, and a Blue win over Gold will sink them back into a play-in plight.

Grey continued their climb, and Blue continued their (precipitous) fall, as another one goal loss meant FIVE straight down the drain for Captain Ryan Karns’ and ‘Karnsma Police’. If you believe in karma, please let those of us on Blue know what we have done to deserve this fate. Brandon Olsen cashed in on the power play to break the scoreless tie at 3:30 in the second, then assisted on Jim LaGrossa’s game-winner 1:10 later. LaGrossa enters his bye week leading the scoring field with 19 points (6 and 13), with the only threat to his crown coming in the form of…who else…’The Sherriff’. Weston Nawrocki spoiled Wayne Wong’s fill-in shutout bid (16/17) with just 0:48 to play, but that would be the only goal allowed by Wong in his final SDFHL performance before heading out of town to pursue higher education. So, another week, another win for Grey, another loss for Blue…this time by a 2-1 final. Chuck Bender (18/20) has taken his lumps along with his team, who have (almost) nowhere to go but up now at 2-5-0. White may still be a rung below them on the standings ladder, but no team is colder (it doesn’t get much colder then and 0-5-0 run). Blue still have a chance at redemption if they can pull up the nose against Gold this Sunday. Grey will watch and wait to see whether or not Pink will overtake them for the top spot.

I am playing catchup, so below are the Week Six recaps, followed by the Week Seven words…

Gold and Lime came into Week Six with matching 2-2-0 records, and a similarly undefined season trajectory. Lime surprised everyone (but me) with two wins out of the gate, but came in having lost two in a row. Gold won their opener after a Week One bye, then dropped two before evening their record in Week Five. The scene was set for an interesting and intense match, but much of the buzz blunted when a late Alex Theis scratch left league officers with limited fill-in options. Chuck Bender had the unenviable task of trying to fill those HOF shoes, but acquitted himself quite well…just not well enough to win. Brian Sheptycki put Gold in front late in the first, Maureen Ruchhoeft netted the short-handed game-winner in the second (running her goal scoring streak to three games!), and Ezra Cohen added insurance late in the third after Vance Morra halved the lead near the other end of the frame. Sheptycki and Cohen finished with 1 and 1, and Nick Meglich notched the win with a 10/11 effort. The 3-1 win pushed Gold into the upper half of the standings, leaving Lime lamenting their third straight defeat.

If you’re scoring at home, Eric Herrmann is empirically the most ridiculous player in the league. Enter David Schlatter, who approaches most ridiculous player in the league levels himself. Now imagine both of these players on the same team. Now imagine them on the same line. Yeah…as the headline suggests…overkill. For only the second time in five games, the two of them were in the lineup together, and together they absolutely terrorized Blue to the tune of five and two. Schlatter opened the scoring early in the first, Herrmann followed with the GWG, and Wendy Enright got in on the act to make it 3-0 Orange through one. Schlatter kicked off the second period with his second, Gary Peters netted his first of the season, then Schlatter finished his hat trick to make it 6-0 through two. At this point, Blue’s goal was to ‘win a period’, and while they didn’t manage that, they did at least manage to tie Orange in the final frame, with Geoff Downes finally solving Don Tran (21/22) to equalize Herrmann’s second strike earlier in the third. The 7-1 smash to smithereens actually feels like a kind, gentle reflection of the level of dominance exhibited by this terrible twosome in this one. It might as well (and easily could have been) 15-0. In looking back on the schedule, I see that Schlatter and Herrmann were together in the lineup against Gold in Week Two. I have no idea how Gold survived that encounter, let alone prevailed, let alone prevailed convincingly (5-2), but we have our top scientists working on that now…

In contrast to the filthy, degrading gangbang that was game two of Week Six, game three was a slow, sensual, tantric rendezvous, with only one ‘O’ to be had. Typically, it was a man who found release, and even more typically (ask Janice), it was Tom Darlington who finished first, ‘slipping one past the goalie’, and accounting for the only offense for either side in a 1-0 win for Green over White. Chris Malki and Jeannine Stuzka recorded assists on the winning strike (ceasing and desisting with the sexual metaphors at this point), while Don Tran (15/15) recorded his first shutout of the season. Tran reported to this reporter after the game that Darlington (still referring to the lesser, here…Tom) was worthy of ‘first star’ for ‘saving a goal defensively, and scoring the only goal a few minutes later’. So, here I sit, passing on ten day old kudos to you, Tom…you heard it hear last. Cory Brin (13/14) absorbed to hard luck loss, as White continued to struggle and sag in the standings. They entered their Week Seven bye at 1-4-1, having only triumphed over the increasingly lowly Blue in Week Four. The win vaulted Green over the .500 mark, but then they faced our cover team in Week Seven, and well…their back to .500 as I type.

Two teams trending toward opposite poles in the standings capped the Week Six slate with a thriller that served as a moral, minor miracle victory for Atomic Blue, and a stinging, sour pill for Grey. The league’s leading scorer, Jim LaGrossa (stoked I still have his rookie card), led off the scoring for Grey bright and early in the first, with the current show horse in the stats race notching the primary assist. Carl Vankoughnett answered, then upped the ante with two strikes in a five minute span later in the period. Justin Stege brought Grey level with the only goal of the second, and that dynamic duo struck again (this time Gaudio from LaGrossa) to put Grey back out front 3-2. The clock wound down toward another Grey W, but Luke Wolmer found the equalizer with 0:41 to play, knotting the score for good, 3-3, blowing up the Atomic bench, and sending shock waves through Grey’s ranks. Neither goalie had a night you’d put on the mantle, with Wayne Wong stopping 9/12, and Parsa Mostafavi deflecting 14/17, but the one point, and the way that one point was produced could really propel a weak and wobbly Atomic Blue team on to better things. Meanwhile, Grey is hardly hurting after the non-win, but blowing a late lead is never any fun.

It is very well documented that I left the Sprummer 2022 draft knowing (and professing loudly) that Captain Mark Nagy’s ‘SubLime’ lineup was destined for greatness. I sat unsurprised as they cruised to a convincing victory in their season opener, and I loved watching my fellow pundits eat crow as they repeated the feat, and strode out to a 2-0-0 start. Even the great teams falter, though, and while both Lime and Blue began the season with twin two win spins, they had both suffered a trio of fizzles since. Something had to give…one of these sleeping giants would have to prevail, and regain their winning form. Unless…I mean….unless they tied. They could have tied. They didn’t. Captain Nagy drew first blood late in the first, and a scoreless second had Blue talking to themselves, and believing in bad mojo. Blue carried the majority of the play, but could not solve Alex Theis (17/18) – not until Shawna Hamon finally flicked a bad angle bullet through the armor early in the third to draw things to…a draw. Each tick brought this one closer to a hard fought tie, but instead it was another hard luck loss for Chuck Bender (13/15) and a woebegone Blue. Steve Linke, a player known for his penchant for jumping up in the play and grinding near the opposition’s goal crease, stayed true to his power forward nature, parked in front, and tucked the game-winner between Bender’s pads with 0:28 to play….2-1 Lime over Blue. Blue have now lost four straight, and while ‘every team makes the playoffs’ this season, it’s definitely looking like an uphill climb for Captain Karn’s crew.

Captain Will Heinl’s ‘Gold Will Hunting’ (incidentally, Pope-le’s Choice award for best team name this season) rolled into Week Seven on…well…on a roll. Their two game win streak started with a steamrolling of league doormats, White, in Week Five, followed by a shocking 3-1 upset of juggernaut, Lime in Week Six. Captain Hima Joshi’s Grey came lolling in off a listless two game stretch that started with a 1-0 sleepy stunner over top gunners, Lime, and a 3-3 tie with a not-so-hot Atomic Blue. The league’s deadliest duo (when Herrmann and Schlatter aren’t around) paced Grey to a plodding 3-0 win, with Gaudio in the first (from Andrew Wong), Gaudio in the second (from LaGrossa), and LaGrossa in the third (from Gaudio) serving as the steady beats of the victory drum. Parsa Mostafavi kept his rally for rookie of the year going with the second shutout of his nascent career (12/12), and kept his record lossless in the process at an impressive 4-0-2. Nick Meglich was sharp, but slowly, steadily, subdued, keeping Gold in position to pounce throughout with a 16/19 line.

Fans who bought tickets to the Pink v Atomic Blue match before the season started, hoping to catch another Salt v Salt showdown, were disappointed to learn that this one would be a one Salt affair. Captain Chad Goins’ struggling squad was disappointed to find that the one Salt was not a zest of resident super star, Zach, but rather a pinch of Pink captain, Jon. It was another Jon that opened the scoring for the non-Captain-Jon side, as Zygelman converted a Carl Vankoughnett pass into pay dirt in the first. Captain Jon would respond early in the second (with assists to Mr. and Mrs. Gottfried), but Vankoughnett made every minute count with a late goal to wrest back a one goal lead for Atomic Blue through two. The third period was almost all Gottfried, with Matt from Kaity making it 2-2, then Kaity from Captain Jon capping the 3-2 comeback win for Pink. The shot count seemed shockingly steep to this humble scribe, but the scorekeeper of record swears by his scorekeeping record, and apparently Wayne Wong stopped 32/35 in the loss, while Sean Kelly swatted 26/28 in the win. It may not have been the game that fans were clamoring for, but as one out of two Salt games go, this one was at least three and a half out of five stars.

It’s back to our cover team to close out the not-so-current coverage, and it’s going to be easier for me to just do the scoring recap like so: Herrmann (David Schlatter)-Herrmann-[Vacchio fucking up the flow, with assist from Malki, Joe]-Herrmann(Schlatter/Josh Tran)-Herrmann(Schlatter)-Herrmann(Schlatter)-[Vacchio twize as nize from a pair of Malki guys]. That’s the ‘from concentrate’ tale of another romp and stomp win for Orange, 5-2 over Green. Seriously, folks, you want no part of this two-headed monster from the depths of hat trick hell! Word on the street is that Schlatter may miss most/all of the playoffs…consider that your team’s saving August grace, if so. The loss finds Green bouncing into their bye week at an even-as-can-be 3-3-1, while back-to-back wins (while outscoring their opponent 12-3), has Orange perching in the high branches of the standings at 3-2-1.