Neither Captain Janet Goins’ Royal Blue, nor Captain Wendy Enright’s Olive had lost a game since February 5th, and with both teams nestled in the cozy upper branches of the standings, this meeting was more about playoff posturing and pride than anything else. Olive was ‘the hottest team in the league’ coming in, having won four straight after a two loss stumble out of the gate, and they would remain hot, and cool down Royal Blue in the process in the Week Eleven opener. Tomáš Jankovic got Olive rolling with his first goal (indeed, first point) of the season at 6:25 in the first, with assists to Josh Wirt and Will Heinl. A scoreless second came courtesy of great efforts in nets from both Olive’s Zach Siemer (20/21), and Royal Blue super sub, Chris Tran (20/22). Wirt put that second blemish on Tran’s sheet early in the second, converting on the power play from Heinl and Sally Jackson to push the margin to 2-0. Erin Plone is really coming into her own, and she notched her third (!) goal of her rookie campaign less than a minute after Wirt’s strike (and ‘paid the price’ in front of the net, as a result), collecting a Carl Vankoughnett pass, and flipping a backhand past Siemer to break his shutout string, and bring Royal Blue within one. Siemer and Olive would hold on to complete the rare feat of keeping Eric Herrmann off the sheet in a ‘statement’ 2-1 win that has them knocking on the door of the standings top floor. With ten points each, both teams have officially clinched a playoff berth, and can now relax, and focus on staying healthy, padding stats, and enjoying their remaining regular season games…

The haves (Silver) faced off against the have-nots (Black) in the second game on the Week Eleven Easter slate, and the result was, well, exactly what you would expect. The heroics of Matt Henderson (23/25) in nets for Black should not be lost in the result, which was closer than a typical battle of top and bottom, thanks largely to him. Sadie Hellstrom put one past Henderson at 9:22 in the first (from Joel Gattey and Matt Gottfried), but the veteran netminder shook it off, and kept his team in it from there. A scoreless second meant that Captain Shelby Shattuck’s squad had a chance at a massive coup going into the third, but…alas…this team just CANNOT SCORE. Alexis DaCosta (from Zach Salt and Gottfried) added an insurance marker at 9:38 in the third, and a two goal lead is a death sentence for any team facing Silas ‘The Silencer’ Perks (22/22), let very much alone a team with one (wobbly) goal to their credit in six games. Make that ‘…in seven games’, as Perks kept the Black attack in the sack with his third shutout of the season in Silver’s 2-0 win. Again, I don’t want to lose site of the valiance of Henderson’s effort in this one, but I also refuse to stop peeing my pants over Perk’s sublime season to this point. He is, without question, the MVP of this team (and the entire league), with an absolutely weapons-grade line of .968/0.71/3 SO. How are you going to beat a team when you can only hope (let alone expect) to score a fraction of a goal against them? Applause to Black for giving it a strong crack, especially without the services of half their team (Alan Razoky, Rich Shane, Harsh Wanigaratne, and Mark Daquipa), but this loss should serve as the final nail in a coffin that Black has been test driving all season long. Meanwhile, there are no signs of slowing down for Captain Audrey Stratton’s team, who enter their final three games at 6-0-1…the only remaining undefeated team, and the only team with a single digit number in the ‘goals allowed’ column (FIVE!)…

Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft’s White came into Week Eleven as the only team other than Silver without a loss…in spite of two close brushes with the dreaded L, and one ULTRA close brush. The ‘press’ (me) was buzzing about how ‘unkillable’ the 3-0-3 team had proven to be week in and week out, but this week proved the undoing of that trend. Captain Kerri Sevenbergen’s Purple came into the match with perhaps the most erratic/inconsistent performance history in the league…the ‘box of chocolates’ of the Winter League 2023 season, for sure. Well, they pulled nothing but sweetness from that box this time out, with much of the sugar (ironically) coming in the form of Salt. Jon Salt, to be clear…the lesser of the Salt Bros™. He opened the scoring for Purple at 6:43 in the first (from Rob LaVigne), then soloed the game-winner at 5:15 in the second. Brandon Olsen plumped the advantage to 3-0 to close out the second…setting the stage for what would typically be an epic White comeback. The comeback started with Brennan Abel at 9:31 in the third (from Jim LaGrossa and Pat Gladstone). Unfortunately for White, that is also where this rally would end. Patrick Theis (21/22) made his HOF papa proud, holding the gates shut the rest of the way, while add-on tallies from Weston Nawrocki (from Lavigne), Olsen again (this time on the power play from Salt and Mark Nagy), and Nagy from LaVigne meant that White’s string of staving off a loss was well at an end…6-1, Purple prevails. Chuck Bender (15/21) swallowed his first loss of the season, which is back pat worthy, given that White is seven games in. They remain in the top half of the standings in spite of the loss at 3-1-3, while the win gives Purple a much needed confidence boost and some breathing room in the standings at 3-3-1. White have all but punched their playoff ticket…it’s possible they already have, if I only had the patience to do the math. Purple remain on the bubble, but a Week Twelve meeting with Black, and a Week Thirteen meeting with Red have to have them feeling pretty good about their second season odds.

Captain Emily Bennington’s Red (which is really ‘maroon’) took their agenda of desperation into Week Eleven to face Captain Leah Gonzales’ Maroon (also ‘maroon’). Coming in at 1-5-0, the ‘must win’ portion of the proceedings was officially underway for the former, while the latter looked to steady the ship, riding in on a four game winless stretch that featured three blowout losses and one gut punch tie. Mostafa Azab got Red off on the right foot late in the first (from Joe Gaudio), and a pair of Gaudio (Joe again…Rob was out) passes found Scott Wieland’s tape, and subsequently the back of the net to put the underdogs on top 3-0. Mark Scelfo found the first response for Maroon late in the second (from Ezra Cohen and Vincent Santora), but Red still carried a 3-1 lead, and the hope of a resurrected season into the final period of play. Joe Malki had ideas of his own about both Red’s 3-1 lead and that whole ‘hope’ bit, and he dashed both with a pair of goals at 7:39 (from Captain Gonzales) and 1:52 (on the power play from Papa Malki and Captain Gonzales) to bring Maroon level, and level Red’s expectations of a big springboard win. Nick Vacchio (24/27) battled hard once again, but was ultimately tagged with another non-win, while Chuck Bender (13/16) reaped the benefit of the comeback surge from Maroon, to improve his record as a sub this season to 2-2-1. The 3-3 tie leaves Red at 1-5-1, needing every point they can scrape and almost certainly a bit of help to survive into May. This Sunday’s showdown with Tropical Blue is as ‘make or break’ as it gets, and they can no longer afford to lose (nor to blow a three goal lead and tie). Maroon’s winless streak has now run to five games, and while a 2-3-3 record still finds them in cut line danger, they may look back at this salvaged point against Red as their season’s salvation. Maroon will likely need at least another point or two to guarantee playoff passage. They can take solace in seeing Black on their schedule after this Sunday’s bye, but the close out the season against and absolutely-on-a-mission Olive side.

It was another clash of close colors, and (eerily enough) two teams with nearly identical trajectories to that of Red and Maroon in the nightcap, as our cover team (led by Captain Kyra Forsyth) took their ‘must win’ mindset into battle against a 2-2-2 ‘Aqua’ side (a side that came in on a three game winless slide). With just two points to their credit coming in, and just three games left in their season, Captain Forsyth’s crew would need a win win win situation to close out the season with any hope of moving on into May. Ian Crooks took the first step toward that first win for Tropical Blue, cashing in a Luke Wolmer assist to put his team up 1-0 through one. Close set penalties early in the second to Sev Brown and Nick Vacchio gave Aqua a 5 on 3 advantage, and David Schlatter took advantage of that advantage to even the score (from Matt Rogers). Schlatter would set up Mark DeGraffenreid’s first goal of the season (CONGRATULATIONS, OLD MAN!), finishing a two on one break that was sprung by Brian Sheptycki. Aqua’s lead held into the second half of the third period, but the penalty ghost game back to haunt Captain Steph Palomo Schmidt’s side, as Chris Fiore fired home a shot from the point (from Forsyth) to knot the score at two apiece. The stage was set for a big moment, and it was POTW honoree, Kaitlyn Brusso, seizing that moment, sliding home her first career goal…a game-winner, and potential season-saver with 2:07 to play. CONGRATULATIONS, KAITLYN! Sean Kelly earned his FIRST win of the season with the 11/13 effort, while Chris Tran (12/15) shouldered another bitter loss for an Aqua team that now sits right on the cut line…just two points ahead of Tropical Blue for the final playoff ticket. Help is on the way for Aqua, as they pick up Tim Hamon to replace John Hwang, who played just one game before suffering an ankle injury, and they need all the help they can get to right their ship and make their way back to safer playoff waters. Tropical Blue has just two games remaining, and this Sunday’s showdown with Red is THE game…the loser is almost assuredly done, while the winner may well find themselves knocking on the back door to May play.

Cockroaches, Marvel super villains, the giant chicken on Family Guy…all things that are ‘hard to kill’. We can officially add ‘Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft’s ‘White Hot Flashes’ to that list…maybe the top of that list, after another ridiculous reversal of fortune kept her team out of the loss column and one point closer to a playoff position. A scoreless first elapsed with both teams advancing, retreating, and trying to find their form. Ezra Cohen checked in with his first of the season at 8:40 in the second to put Maroon out front (from Vinny Santora), but Young Canuck™ POTW, Brennan Abel responded minutes later to bring the ledger level. A Jeff Henderson trip to the box for tripping found Maroon short-handed, but John Boddy found a short-handed goal (from super sub, Deborah Finucane) with just 0:22 to go in the middle frame, putting Captain Leah Gonzales’ group out front, 2-1. Joe Malki struck at 8:37 in the third, then recorded the primary assist on (really super sub) Finucane’s goal-flavored contribution to build Maroon’s lead to a sturdy, sizeable 4-1 bulge. This is when White did what White does…break your back with a killer comeback. Abel drew White within two (from super sub, Sadie Hellstrom, and Geoff Downes) at 4:22, then Phil Nguyen (from Hellstrom, again) made it 4-3 with 1:27 to play. White continued to press, pulling Chuck Bender (14/18) to allow for an extra attacker. A frantic final minute saw White swarming…sparing no effort in their push to complete another cosmically confounding coup. Brennan Abel…from a long line of Abels…so named because they are able to create facts from fable…backhand snap…0:22…4-4 is your final, folks…another non-loss for White, and a tough one point pill for Maroon…incredible! White, who by all rights could/should be 2-2-1, now sit at 2-0-3, very much in the hunt for the playoff cat bird seat, and forever brimming with confidence from here out, no matter what the score, and what the time on the clock. Maroon, who had all but counted their third win of the season, now sit at a sample platter 2-2-2 in the mushy middle of the standings with four games left on their slate.

The irresistible force that is Charcoal (twenty-seven goals in five games coming into Week Nine) met the immovable object that is Silver’s Silas Perks, who had allowed just four goals in four games coming in to the showdown. The result was…what you would expect? Zach Salt gave his goalie a one goal lead with his third of the season late in the third (from Arnold Gonzales), and one is quite often all you need with King Silas suited up behind you. Charcoal pressed for the equalizer, and Silver sought insurance, but neither team did any damage in the second, leaving everything on the line going into the final ten minutes of play. Zach Siemer (15/17) was certainly solid in Don Tran’s stead, but Matt Gottfried converted a Justin Ker pass to double the lead for Silver with 5:33 to play, and a two goal lead is almost always a winning edge for Perks. Spoiler alert, it was exactly the winning edge in this one, as Perks (20/20) stuck the dismount on another monster effort, earning his fourth win on the season in Silver’s 2-0 tiptoe past the titans of twine-tickling. The win keeps Silver lossless through the first half of their season at 4-0-1, alone atop the standings pile with nine points. Perks himself remains parked in the prime spot on the goalie stats table with a gaudy .964/0.80/2 SO line. Charcoal will definitely have a possible playoff rematch with Silver circled on their calendar, and will hope that the their co-leader in goal scoring, Kalen Hunter, will be in the lineup for that one. The player who shares that goal scoring lead for Charcoal…Owen Perks! The rematch story lines (and the Thanksgiving table smack talk) is writing itself, folks…

It is becoming more and more difficult to convey the depths of utter futility that Captain Shelby Shattuck’s ‘Black Widow’ have reached through the first half of their season. They limped into Week Nine with zero wins, ZERO goals, and just one point in the standings, which was, of course, the result of a ZERO-ZERO tie with basement buddies, Tropical Blue. Still, they had reason to believe that the fifth time would be the charm, as they lined up against an 0-4-0 Red team…the only team with less points in the standings….but also a team at least as desperate to change their fate. The first period…no surprises…scoreless, with a mere eight shots combined, and no sign of a clear edge for either side. Rob Gaudio finally broke the seal with his second in as many games (from Brother Joe™ and Mostafa Azab), to give Red that edge, and put Black (once again) on edge. After all, if you have failed to score though the first thirteen periods of the season, you have to start feeling like it may never happen. The 1-0 Red lead held well into the third period, with the clock steadily eroding Black’s morale, and Nick Meglich (10/10) remaining strong in a sub stint for Nick Vacchio. Brother Joe™ added the final nail in an already shut and sealed coffin with just 0:35 to play, taking any chance of a point out of play for Black, who once again failed to muster a single goal in the 2-0 soul-crushing loss. Matt Henderson (11/13) was forced to swallow another L, all while watching his team’s NOffence register their fifth straight goal-free game. Without grinding through piles of historical stats, I feel confident in stating that this is the worst scoreless stretch for any team in 25+ years of SDFHL play. You cannot win if you cannot score, and Black has now managed an entire half of a season without so much as a lucky bounce to their credit. It’s a bit too early to start with the math, but Black will almost certainly need to win four of their remaining five games if they have any hope of making the playoffs. Baby steps…they will need to score A SINGLE FUCKING GOAL against Olive this Sunday, as a start. The win gets Captain Emily Bennington’s side off the schnide, but at 1-4-0, they still have a long way to go to second season safety. A second straight win will be a major challenge, as they face an angry, overpowered Charcoal in Week Ten.

Captain Kyra Forsyth’s Tropical Blue entered Week Nine with the same sad, solitary point in the standings as Black…but with one more notch in the games played column. The bright side…they came in to their match with Royal Blue knowing that they could score the occasional goal, with half a dozen in the bank through their 0-4-1 first half. Captain Janet Biggerstaff Goins’ team had to like their chances in the Battle Of Two Blue Hues, as their roster features two players who themselves had already matched or bettered Tropical’s goal totals to that point in the season. Those two players, Eric Herrmann and Carl Vankoughnett, had to be licking their chops at the chance to perpetuate one of the most shocking storylines of the first half…that Sean Kelly appears to be mortal! A scoreless first saw both Kelly and Nick Meglich steady and focused, but Herrmann did find a way past the former in the second (from Glenn Pinto and Vankoughnett) to give Royal Blue a 1-0 lead. That lead lasted exactly forty seconds, as Andy Strathman (from Ian Crooks and Dan Jurgens) struck back for Tropical Blue at 2:17 in the second to even things at one apiece. A scoreless third meant that both Kelly (18/19) and Meglich (16/17) would tip their respective caps to one another in a 1-1 tie. Tropical is ‘trending in the right direction’ now, with points in consecutive games, but you cannot crawl your way to the podium in a foot race, and they remain very much on the outside of the playoff picture looking in now at 0-4-2. The door to May games could be all but slammed closed on Tropical’s stormy season if they can’t find a way to stun (the unkillable) ‘White Hot Flashes’ in Week Ten. The tie puts the ‘point’ in disappointment for Royal Blue, who could have matched Silver’s nine spot with a win, but there is really no doubt that this this shade of blue’s true colors will propel them to the playoffs.

Captain Wendy Enright’s Olive found themselves pitted in their first two games of the season, but pleasantly pimentoed (new verb the kids are all using) in their third and fourth turns, leaving them at 2-2-0, and riding a two game win streak into their first half finale. Captain Kerri Sevenbergen’s Purple took a decidedly more jagged jog into Week Nine, with blowout loss, blowout win, blowout loss, narrow win, and tepid tie their story coming into the Week Nine nightcap. Olive looked to keep their winning ways whirring, while Purple hoped to break that broken pattern, string together strong starts, and boost their confidence and playoff security in the process. Josh Tran made his opening argument for maintaining the ‘winning ways’, putting Olive on top with an unassisted strike at 8:20 in the first. Jon Salt presented his case for ‘breaking the broken pattern’ with his seventh of the season at 6:13 in the second (from Mark Nagy). The third period would be the judge, and Josh Wirt brought his robe, his gavel, and a bag full of gravel to bury Purple with a late pair of goals to keep Olive rolling confidently, and Purple rocking precariously, 3-1. Wirt’s game-winner came courtesy of a helping hand from Captain Enright at 2:13, and the empty net nail was hammered home by Josh & Josh Construction & Demolition™ (Wirt from Tran). Purple enter their bye week at 2-3-1, which would have them wringing their hands in playoff peril most any other season. This is not any other season, though, and the odds of Red or Tropical Blue closing the current three point cut off line gap while Purple sit idle are slim, at best. Meanwhile, the win pushes Olive’s record to the winning side at 3-2-0, and makes them officially the ‘hottest team in the league’, having won three straight. In fact, only one other team (front running Silver) has matched that streak at any point this season. They will hope to bump the run to four this Sunday against a beaten, beleaguered Black side.

So…another rainout, but I went back and typed up the Week Five recaps! So, fresh content (related to a stale subject)…ENJOY!

Unless you skipped the headline blurb, or have a VERY short short term memory, you know that our cover team is making the paper for all the wrong reasons. Their bout with Captain Janet Goins’ Royal Blue kicked off the Week Seven slate, and (again, in case your memory is as tragically awful as the 2022-23 San Jose Sharks) it did not go well for Captain Emily Bennington’s Red side. Scott Wieland did put the winless whelps on the board first at 8:47 in the first period, but PPOTW (the extra P is for pity), Carl Vankoughnett, called…then raised that challenge with his first two tallies of the night to give Blue the lead heading out of the first frame. A scoreless second set up a thrilling third in which we (finally) got our first Rob Gaudio sighting of the season (speaking of people who have disappeared mysteriously). Gaudio’s power play strike at 8:34 was answered just over a minute later by Old Man Vankoughnett, giving Blue back the lead. Hima Joshi entered the fray with her first of the season at 5:29 to re-knot the score at 3-3, but it was Vankoughnett again, this time with the helping hand on Eric Herrmann’s game-winner at 4:02. Nick Meglich (13/16) held strong in nets to earn the 4-3 win for Royal Blue, who improve to 3-1-1 moving into the halfway point in the season. Nick Vacchio’s valiance was once again in vain, as his 26/30 effort was not enough to prevent another hard luck loss. Needless to say, Captain Bennington and Red will need to achieve liftoff ASAP if they want to avoid being grounded for the playoffs. Their season is all but officially on a wing and a prayer as they face a tough challenge in Aqua this Sunday.

The Gift Of The Magi, Romeo & Juliet, Black v Tropical Blue…all tragic tales of ironic fate, each one sadder than the next. Two winless, desperate teams met in Week Seven, and yes, ladies and gentlemen…both teams left winless! The icing on the cake in the rain…neither team scored a single goal. If you’re scoring at home, Black has still yet to score…at all. That’s twelve full periods of scoreless hockey to start the season…not so much as a lucky bounce into the opponent’s net. Tropical Blue has six goals this so far this season, thank you very much, but what they really needed was a win. What both teams got was what the really didn’t need…another non-win. It’s perhaps the most deliciously depressing outcome in league history…mutually assured destruction by way of futility. If you subscribe to silver linings, both teams did earn their first point in the 0-0 draw, with Matt Henderson earning first AND third star honors with an applause-worthy 25/25 sparkler, and Sean Kelly returning to ‘Da Kid’ form with a 13/13 clean sheet. Both teams can also now look down at a team for the first time this season, with Red still stuck in the starting blocks at 0-4-0. There is still time for one or both of these teams to claw their way back into the playoff picture, but math is a cruel mistress, and splitting the two points in this game is really just another loss for both teams…sad.

From have-nots, to haves, the evening shifted to a battle of unbeatens, with Captain Audrey Stratton’s surprisingly stout Silver side taking on Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft’s well-rounded White. Just to complete the ‘opposite side of the coin’ comparison completely, both lossless teams left lossless! Sadie Hellstrom put Silver in front at 6:54 in the first with her third of the season (from Arnold Gonzales and Ramsey Ksar), but Young Canuck™ super stud, Brennan Abel, responded for White early in the second (from Old Man Linke) to put the teams on even footing through two. Ramsey Ksar would notch a second assist on Justin Ker’s go ahead marker for Silver at 7:32 in the third, but Abel was not done contributing for White, this time providing the helper on Geoff Downes’ power play leveler with 3:02 to play. The 2-2 tie was a strong result for both sides (as opposed to the bitter back breaker a one point result was for Black and Tropical Blue). Both teams are now firmly entrenched in the upper half of the standings, and both hold a game in hand over every other team with five points or more. All of that is well and good, but what was GREAT was (once again) the play of Silas Perks in nets for Silver. Perks turned aside 28/30 to remain unbeaten on the season, and untouched at the top of the goalie stats stacks (that one’s for you, Chris). Chuck Bender (12/14) turned in a fine performance at the other end as well, in what continues to be a statement season for the seasoned statesman. His 2-0-2/.871/2.00 line has him third in the goalie parade this season, and he has been a reliable last line of defense so far for a clear contender.

Parity is great and all, but three draws in one night is down right FIFA-riffic. The nil-nil Black/Tropical Blue fixture (love that this is somehow the term for ‘game’ in Britspeak), then the 2-2 Silver/White sister kiss (more fun with slang), then Aqua and Purple completing the tepid trilogy with a 1-1 grinder. If you read the front page last week, or were lucky enough to bear live witness, Janice Darlington scored an absolutely world class goal, wristing home a roof job past Silas Perks (current king of goalie kings) to the jaw-dropped joy of everyone in eye shot. Fast forward to Week Seven, and it was lesser Darlington half, Tom, doing to the sniping, burying a centering feed from Mark DeGraffenreid past Patrick Theis to give Aqua a 1-0 edge late in the first. Seriously, I don’t know what is in the water at the Darlington Manor, but…I need some of that scoring punch. They’re both smart cookies, so they’re probably just watching educational videos on the subject. Whatever the case, it’s working…and working wonders for my assist numbers (which are the only numbers I have). Brandon Olsen would settle the score (for good) in the second, finishing a feed from Jon Salt who had his work boots on for a fair stretch below the goal line to make something out of nothing. Chris Tran (17/18) was sharp as ever, despite coming off a personal two week hiatus to treat his addiction to popping bubble wrap (or vacation or something…I don’t pry), and Patrick Theis made his SDFHL HOF father proud with a brilliant 28/29 outing. Much like Silver and White, the 1-1 tie keeps both teams purring along out of harm’s way, running at the point-or-so per game clip needed to secure a playoff position come late April.

Leave it to Captain Shawna Hamon and ‘CoCoal Chanel’ to call the cops on the raging parity party that was Week Seven. Captain Leah Gonzales and Maroon came into the match looking like confident contenders, but Charcoal has a habit of playing ‘to the pain‘, and making mighty look meek. They added seven goals to their gaudy season stash of TWENTY SEVEN in this one, and have once again forced me into recapping this game with a comma separated list of accomplishments in lieu of my signature flowery prose. Kalen Hunter (unassisted), Kalen Hunter (from Chris Tran), Owen Perks (from Tran and Mark Ennsmann), Perks (unassisted), Ennsmann (from Parsa Mostafavi), Chris Tran (unassisted), and Mark Ennsmann (from Perks). Two in the first, three in the second, and two more in the third to dispatch Maroon with sickening ease, 7-2. Maroon did keep it a game through the first half of the proceedings, as Chris Malki found twine at 0:59 in the first, and John Boddy’s hot hand tied things (VERY) temporarily at 2-2 early in the second. Don Tran (12/14) turned in another winning performance, while Steve Deppensmith (11/17) felt the full sting of a seven spot in the loss. Maroon will have bounce back on the brain this Sunday, as they line up against a 2-2-0 Olive, while Sean Kelly will have to be in full Sean Kelly mode for Tropical Blue to keep Charcoal from hitting the mid 30’s in goals scored through six games…scary stuff, people!