When the Chris Tran is away, his two team will play (against each other). Captain Shawna Hamon’s Charcoal strutted into Week Five with a 2-0-0 record, having outscored their two opponents 12-4. Captain Steph Palomo Schmidt and Aqua arrived at 1-0-1, with a very meager 4-2 goal margin. With Chris Tran out (for both teams), Aqua turned to Chuck Bender to stop the pack of remaining potent point producers on Charcoal. With the Darlington’s on the ski slopes, and John Hwang still on the shelf with a badly sprained ankle, the odds were in favor of a Charcoal cake walk. Matt Rogers had a rebuttal to that line of logic, pushing up from his defensive position to spin and fire home first blood late in the first period (from David Schlatter and Mark DeGraffenreid). Schlatter was next to play late period hero in the second (from DeGraffenreid and Rogers) to give Aqua a two goal edge heading into the third. Kalen Hunter finally struck back for Charcoal (from Captain Shawna Hamon and Owen Perks), but a (rather controversial) interference call on Hunter led to a power play that saw Aqua restore their two point padding (Schlatter from Rogers and Brian Sheptycki). Owen Perks cut the lead back to one with 1:15 to play (from Hunter and Hamon), setting up a tense finish. The nerves were settled in short order, as Schlatter launched a full court empty netter just fifteen seconds later to complete the hatter and settle the matter for good, 4-2 Aqua over Charcoal.

John Boddy was a badass trapped in the bloated, rotting body of a bad team in his first SDFHL season. While he still managed 4 and 4 in six games his rookie season, it seemed clear that he was destined to break out for real with his first ‘real’ team. Week Five was that big boom for Boddy, and it served as the backbone for a brutal 6-1 beatdown of color cousins, Purple. Boddy put Maroon in front at 5:35 in the first (from Ezra Cohen and Mark Scelfo), and Chris Malki (from Scelfo) doubled the lead to close out the period. It was Boddy, Boddy, Boddy, and Boddy in the second to build the bulge to 6-0 (assist on the second goal of the period to Papa Malki, then Cohen and Hima Joshi on the fourth). It was one of the more ridiculous single period outbursts in league history (obviously), and something of a statement that JB is absolutely a force to be reckoned with this season. In what would amount to little more than a shutout-spoiling ‘remember me’ marker, Jon Salt finally fired back from Purple (from Mark Nagy) to cap the scoring for the second period, and indeed the game. Patrick Theis (19/25) paid Boddy’s pound of flesh, downing the bitter six pack and absorbing his second lopsided loss of the season. Steve Deppensmith (11/12) was near perfect at the other end, anchoring Maroon’s second straight win in style…not bad for a 98 year old 🙂

Silas Perks…are you tired of hearing about this dude yet? Well…do something about it…score more than one (MAYBE two) goals against him…make him look like less of a well-oiled, well-programmed robogoalie. Either that, or shut up, tip your cap, and take your loss. That’s just the option that Captain Emily Bennington and Red were relegated to, after trying in vain to put one past King Silas in Week Five. A scoreless first had Nick Vacchio the (much) busier of the two goalies, as he faced eight shots to Perk’s paltry three challenges, but both backstops held the fort, and held the 0-0 line through one. Zach Salt broke through early in the second (from Alexis DaCosta), and Justin Ker followed a few minutes later (from Salt and Arnold Gonzales) to give Silver a 2-0 lead…a veritable victory death grip with Perks patrolling the pipes. It was Ker again early in the third (from super sub, Deborah Finucane, and Arnold Gonzales), and 3-0 was indeed more than enough to render Red dead at Silver’s hands. Vacchio (18/21) was impressive, and definitely did his job in the losing effort, put Perks (14/14) was perfect, and you can’t win when the opposing goalie is perfect (it’s new math, I think). The win moves Silver to 2-0-0 with just ONE goal allowed so far. The loss drops Red to 0-2-0, with just ONE goal scored so far. These are two teams with very different trajectories through two weeks of play…but, ‘it’s still early’…

Time is a fickle force…sometimes it fans your face with the cool breeze of feathery fortune, and sometimes it just fucks you with a fencepost (as the nuns say). White and Royal Blue experienced both the ‘feathery’ and the ‘fuck’ side of time in Week Five, with the former definitely left feeling fortunate, and the latter, well…you know. It all started innocently enough, with Royal Blue jumping out to a 2-0 lead in the first, courtesy of Carl Vankoughnett (from Eric Herrmann and Nik Thompson), then Herrmann (from Vankoughnett). Steve Linke answered for White at 7:00 in the second (from Brennan Abel), but it was Herrmann again (from Vankoughnett and Greg Wirth) to restore the two goal lead less than a minute later. Abel closed the gap back down to 3-2 at 6:00 in the third (from Vance Morra and Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft), but it REALLY looked like that would hold as the final score, as the clock wound down the final seconds of play. Enter…utter chaos. With White pushing furiously for the tie, and Blue back on their heels, the action packed every tick and tock remaining on the dying clock. Linke loosed a shot with less than five seconds to play…save…FOUR…ball batted about…THREE…falls to Vance Morra…TWO…Morra handles the ball and moves into shooting position…ONE…fires….ZERO? The ball is in the net. The horn is…horning. Confusion reigns. Then the decision from the refs…it’s a good goal….it’s a last second (give or take) game-tying gasp-inducer…3-3 is your final…drive home safely. Needless to say, the hackles were immediately on high for Royal Blue, pleading for a fair application of the laws of space and time, while White could only wipe their collective brows, and thank that fickle force for finding a way to keep them out of the loss column. The one point swing will not likely make or break either team, but I (for one) am looking forward to a possible playoff rematch between these two…I will have my stopwatch and video at the ready.

Captain Kyra Forsyth and Tropical Blue picked up right where they left off prior to their Week Four bye. Unfortunately for them, where they left off was on the losing end of their first two games of the season. Olive rolled in to Week Five with a matching 0-2-0 record, setting up a ‘something has to give’ scenario that both teams hope would swing in their favor. What swung in Olive’s favor was the skilled scoring sense of veteran sniper, Josh Wirt. In fact, it was literally an all-Josh opposition squash in this one, as ‘The Other’ Josh, Josh Tran, staked Olive to an early lead (from Erin Dowrey) and Josh Wirt made it 2-0 (also from Dowrey) to close out the first. A scoreless second, and an early third period Nick Vacchio tally kept the drama in this one down the stretch, but Wirt dealt the dagger at 2:20, then added a pair of empty-netters for good measure to finish with four, and to finish off Tropical Blue, 5-1. Chuck Bender (7/8) was lightly used, but solid in a sub role for the still-injured Cory Brin, and the man really deserves a standing ovation for completing three games in nets in the same night, and finishing with a 2-0-1 record! Meanwhile, the Sean Kelly (18/21) mystery grows along with Tropical Blue’s woes, as Da Kid has hit a skid that has him wallowing in the way back of the goalie pack with the worst numbers (by far) we have seen from him to this point in his SDFHL HOF career. He will need to get right, and Tropical Blue will need to put up more of a fight if they hope to keep this sinking ship afloat much longer…

Captain Shawna Hamon and ‘CoCoal Chanel’ are off to a haute start, spritzing opposing teams with a dozen goals through two games, and making winning look as effortless and elegant as their namesake. If they can bottle this momentum, the runway to the playoffs and beyond is theirs to strut.

It’s been a slow, soggy start to the season thus far, with as many rainouts as weeks played, and perhaps no team has embodied the grey, gloomy spirit of the weather to this point like Captain Shelby Shattuck’s ‘Black Widow’. A 7-0 loss to Royal Blue in their opener had them hoping for better things in an encore against Aqua, and while technically ‘better’, it was still ‘not better enough’. Chuck Bender (12/14) filled in very capably for Matt Henderson in nets for Black, stretching a scoreless duel deep into the second period before Captain Steph Palomo Schmidt finally broke through for her team with 1:25 to play in the middle frame. David Schlatter collected the primary assisted on the skipper’s scoring strike, and he would add insurance icing early in the third (from Tom Darlington) to move Aqua out to a 2-0 lead that would hold through to the final whistle. The second assist on Palomo Schmidt’s game-winner came as a nice dollop of whipped cream on Chris Tran’s 15/15 Sunday sundae, proving the man really can do it all. So, while it’s ‘still early’, an 0-2-0 hole, with 9 GA and 0 GF is certainly not the start that Black would have hoped for. Aqua have steered clear of the loss column thus far, but have not exactly proven to be a powerhouse out of the gate. They will hope to show more punch when pitted against a winless Olive in Week Four, while Black will look to get in the W column (or, at least on the scoring charts) against a tough Maroon side.

Black’s scoreless, winless struggles look particularly bleak against the backdrop of color cousins, Charcoal, and their cruise control crusade. Captain Shawna Hamon’s team smashed Purple 7-1 in their opener, then brute forced past their opponent and dashed to the top of the scoring charts in a pre-Super Bowl Sunday showdown. Captain Wendy Enright & Company actually looked to have the winning way primed and paved, building a 3-1 lead through two periods of play. Will Heinl got Olive going early in the first, and Josh Tran’s powerplay pay dirt eclipsed Kalen Hunter’s early power play tally to give his team back the lead, 2-1 through one. Gary Peters owned the only goal in the second period, with the first assist going to his long lost son, London, and the second to Josh Wirt, who had assisted on each of the first two Olive goals, as well. The third period was the whip crack for Charcoal, though, as Captain Hamon cut the lead to one early on, and a late trio of goals (Hunter, Owen Perks, Hunter) saw a 3-1 Olive lead become a 5-3 Charcoal comeback coup. Needless to say, averaging six goals every Sunday is a good way to win most, if not all of your games. This scoring punch would carry even the weakest of goalies to the promised land, and Don Tran (20/23) is certainly not one of ‘the weakest goalies’. Olive are winless in two tries, but have hung tough with two tough teams (the only two teams with two wins, thus far). Their starting block slowness is less like Black’s scoreless stumble, and more like getting tackled by runners in adjacent lanes. Captain Enright’s crew will look to right the ship this Sunday against Aqua, while the two aforementioned 2-0-0 teams go toe-to-toe with Charcoal taking on White in a battle of early season bigs.

The middle game was a medley of retribution and recession, as Purple and Royal Blue swapped Week One fates and evened their respective records at 1-1-0. As noted earlier, Purple was punched in the proverbial face in their opener against Charcoal, losing 7-1, while Royal Blue blanked Black 7-0 in their first go. The (micro sample size) math dictated that this one shouldn’t even be close. It wasn’t…but it also wasn’t a 14-1 Royal Blue romp. Jon Salt had one lonely assist in that lopsided leadoff loss, and losses make Jonny…something something. Go crazy he did, ripping four fists of fury past Nick Meglich (19/23) over three periods of intense…exorcise. Brandon Olsen assisted on the game-winner in the first, and Weston Nawrocki helped on the third period punctuation mark, but Salt went solo for a pair in the second, accounting for all of the scoring in a 4-0 Purple parade past Royal Blue. Rookie netminder, Patrick Theis (14/14), made his HOF papa proud with his first win, and first shutout in his two game-old career, leveling his (and Purple’s) record at 1-1-0. Captain Janet Goins and ‘Maya AngeBLUE’ will look to get back on track against a 1-0-0 Silver side this Sunday, while Jon ‘Hulk Smash’ Salt and Purple will look to make it two in a row against an 0-1-0 Red.

The season was originally set to open on January 15th. Rains pushed that plan back a week, with Red sitting out on their bye when the court was dry. Another week of rains meant that Red would not FINALLY get to play until February 5th, when Captain Emily Bennington’s eager bunch hit the court (albeit, without Captain Emily in the lineup) to face Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft and her ‘White Hot Flashes’. Vance Morra put White on the board first late in the first, with the primary assist going to Week One hero, Phil Nguyen, and the second apple to some old dude. Morra then assisted on what would ultimately stand as the game winner, as Brennan Abel put one past Nick Vacchio (15/17) late in the second to give White a 2-0 edge. Mostafa Azab struck back for Red midway through the third (from Gaudio Bros™, Rob and Joe), but Chuck Bender (15/16) would hold on to earn his second victory in as many tries (!), capturing third star of the game in the 2-1 White win. Bender has been a revelation so far this season for White, already topping his win total from the prior two seasons, combined. His team remains one of only two teams with a perfect 2-0-0 record…the other being their Week Four opponent, Charcoal. Red can shake off the rust and an opening loss with a better showing this Sunday against Purple.

The nightcap featured an 0-0-1 Maroon taking on an 0-1-0 Tropical Blue, with both teams hoping to wrest a win in their second whirl. Ryan Karns channeled his inner Phil Nguyen, donning the ‘hidden hero’ cape to lead the charge for the winning side. He opened the scoring for Maroon midway through the first (from John Boddy and Chris Malki), and closed the scoring with his second of the night in the final minute of play to cap a two goal effort for the beloved bearded blueliner. Joe Malki had built the lead to two in the first (from Boddy and Captain Leah Gonzales), before Dan Jurgens struck back for Tropical Blue in the second (from Andy Strathman), then assisted on Nick Vacchio’s tying goal at 3:04 in the third. Boddy brandished the game winner just over a minute later, on Captain Leah’s second assist of the night, and Karns’ capper brought the final figures to rest at 4-2, Maroon over Tropical Blue. Steve Deppensmith (9/11) outdueled Sean Kelly (9/13) to net his first win of the season, and keep Maroon undefeated through two weeks of play. It’s not quite time to hit the panic button just yet for Captain Kyra Forsyth, but she and her mates were no doubt counting on the otherworldly awesomeness of ‘Da Kid’ in nets this season. I don’t have the record books in front of me as I type, but his 0-2-0/.769/3.00 line is almost certainly his worst season start, if not the worst two game showing in his long, storied career. Captain Kyra and her Tropical Blue crew will regroup on a bye this Sunday, and hope to come back with a renewed sense of purpose (and, hopefully, a keyed up Kid) in Week Five. Maroon will look to build on their mojo this weekend against a beleaguered, bereft Black.

Rainy days have made for a slow start to the Winter 2023 SDFHL season, but leave us with time to take a proper look back at last season’s champions, ‘JOntario’. BACK L=>R: Justin Ker, Silas Perks, Kimberly Hernandez, Kyra Forsyth, Josh Tran, Zach Siemer MIDDLE L=>R Jon Salt, Gary Peters, Jon Champine (C), Eric Willard FRONT: John Hwang. CONGRATULATIONS on an amazing season!

It has been six weeks, so my memory is a bit hazy, but here’s (more or less) how the Final went down…

Captain Luke Wolmer and ‘Celine Neon’ came strutting into the final showdown with the nothing-to-lose swagger you’d expect from a seventh seed on a hot streak with house money. A 4-2 loss to White in their playoff opener landed them in the Losers’ Bracket, but that’s where the revenge tour began. Their 4-1 regular season loss to Red…avenged with a 4-1 script flip playoff win. Their 4-3 regular season loss to Navy…3-1 smack back when it counts most. A 1-0 loss to Black back in Week One of the regular season…a 5-2 knockout response in the second season. White beat them 3-1 in Week Nine…Neon ended White’s Cup hopes to cap the stunning sweep through the 5, 4, 3, and 2 seeds…only the 1 remained…

Green had not played since dispatching White 5-1 back on November 20th…nearly a full month prior. If Neon was playing with ‘house money’, Green was the house itself…sitting pretty, powerful, and poised in the pole position. Having lost just twice all season, Neon would need to find a way to match that total in one night. Silas Perks was running a Calder/Vezina campaign for the ages, but the legend, the GOAT, Da Kid stood in nets at the other end. Something would have to give…would Neon complete the comeback coup, and check the final box on their loss revenge list (Green beat them 4-0 in Week Six), or would Green hold serve and take what seemed destined to be theirs…

The evening started with a tough, tense, tight battle. Both goalies were as advertised or better (if possible), and the shot totals (Neon 9, Green 17) underscored just how stingy the defense was as a whole on both sides. Captain Luke Wolmer put his team out front 1-0 on the power play in the first, rapping home a feed from David Schlatter, and putting a charge into the underdog bench. The game ground on, with both teams finding chances, but also finding a wall of well-oiled goalie will. The clock finally ticked its last tock, with Wolmer’s goal standing alone in a 1-0 win for the seventh seeded stunners. The stage was now set for a true winner-take-all tilt. Neon had the momentum, had the bite, had the bark, and seemed ready, willing, and able to divert ‘destiny’. Green would just need to regroup and find the game that had gotten them to this point…

Enter, Captain Jon Champine. Having scored just one goal in nine regular season games, the skipper for the top seed would not have been the obvious choice to finally solve Sean Kelly and put Green on the board for the first time in their last game. He did just that, converting a John Hwang helper into pure joy and relief for his team. The goal came at 7:17 in the first…still plenty of time for play to open up, and for Neon to find a way to bounce back and snatch the Cup from the catbird’s claws. As it went, the twenty-six total shots in the first game were a downright bonanza compared to the SEVENTEEN total in the sequel. Unfortunately for Captain Champine, his team would muster just a sliver (FOUR) of that meager total. Unfortunately for Captain Wolmer, the only numbers that really matter are goals for, and goals against. Eric Willard’s empty-netter in the final minute of play would not further blemish Sean Kelly’s 3/4 outing, but Silas Perks’ 13/13 sutdown shutout meant a 2-0 win for Green, the final ‘revenge’, the last word, and a Cup in hand. Congratulations again to both teams for two great runs, and to Captain Champine and Green for sticking the dismount.

Here are some additional photos from the champions’ celebration gathering…

After Mother Nature won all five games of the would-be Week One schedule, the take two Week One finally found dry footing, with a Black and Blue battle cutting the ribbon on the Winter 2023 season. ‘Battle’ is maybe the wrong term, but ‘black and blue’ are appropriate colors for what would turn out to be a very lopsided affair. Remember Eric Herrmann…Crusher Of Souls, King Of The Awesomites, Breaker Of Backs, and Ruler Of The Seven Kingdoms? Well, he dropped FOUR and THREE, factoring in every Blue goal in a 7-0 poster dunk on Black. It started innocently enough, with Herrmann converting the lone goal in the first (from Greg Wirth). Herrmann and Wirth actually sat overlapping penalties later in the period, but Blue’s defense, and rookie netminder and fresh-faced sub, Patrick Theis (12/12), held the fort and the 1-0 lead through one. The second period was slow and steady, as well, with just another lonely, unassisted Herrmann strike on the board to make it 2-0. The flood gates opened in the third, with Carl Vankoughnett (from Herrmann), Herrmann (from Glenn Pinto), Herrmann (from Chad Goins), Vankoughnett (from Herrmann), and Ty Pereira (from Pinto and Herrmann) to turn a close, competitive contest into a comprehensive clobbering. Matt Henderson (16/23) was often hung out to dry, but honestly, it did not look easy trying to defend the likes of Blue’s offensive front. Both teams would be wise to embrace the ‘it’s just one game’ and ‘it’s early’ mindsets, but…a touchdown/shutout result is generally a pretty telling indictor of things to come…

Maroon and Aqua (the artists formerly known as ‘Teal’) got the parity party started in the second game on the slate, battling to a 2-2 seesaw draw. Mark Scelfo put Maroon on the board first, sneaking one past Chris Tran to conclude a strange sequence of events. Captain Leah Gonzales recorded the primary assist, and John Boddy was credited with the second. Boddy was big for Maroon throughout, and his second period blueline snipe ‘curved twice…like an S!’ on its way into the netting, according to Aqua netminder, Chris Tran (19/21). That sublime strike came exactly two minutes after an early second period tally from David Schlatter, who plucked the rebound of Mark DeGraffenreid’s shot out of the air and into the back of the net. Brian Sheptycki knotted the score for good less than a minute later (from DeGraffenreid), and a scoreless third was evidence of solid shielding from Tran and Steve Deppensmith (18/20). The latter made a waning seconds breakaway save on Schlatter to preserve the 2-2 tie, and send both teams off with bittersweet backslaps.

The dial turned back to ‘Sirius Blowout Radio’ in the middle game of the slate, as Charcoal had their way in a BIG way against Purple. Patrick Theis, who enjoyed a shoutout W worthy of papa Alex’s legacy in a fill-in role for Blue earlier in the evening, was ‘welcomed’ to the league by what looks to be a very poised and potent offense. Six different Charcoal scorers joined the punishment parade, with Ryan Loughran opening the scoring (from Kalen Hunter), then assisting on Payam Sazegar’s first career SDFHL goal (CONGRATULATIONS!). Hunter made it 3-0 going into the first break, but Purple hoped that they had stopped the bleeding when Eric Willard (from Jon Salt) cut the lead to two at 4:19 in the second. Alas, Charcoal fired another three scoring rounds past Theis to build the lead to new heights, with Nadia Connolley making her return triumphant, Mark Ennsmann joining the party, and Owen Perks notching his first of two on the night to make it 6-1 through two. Perks second of the game was assisted by Chris Tran, who matched Loughran and Hunter with two helpers in what became a 7-1 thrashing of an all-players-present Purple side. Willard’s solitary salvo was the only measurable response for Purple, and the only blemish on the sheet for Don Tran (17/18) who collected the one-sided win with his customary brand of steady play. As the scheduling gods would have it, the two ‘touchdown’ teams (Charcoal and Royal Blue) face each other right away in Week Two…something has to give.

Captain Audrey Stratton got her first taste of attendance angst right out of the gate, as half of her team did not make it to the rink to face Captain Kyra Forsyth’s Tropical Blue crew. The gang was all there for Forsyth, and with (literally) twice the players, and Sean Kelly in nets, I was writing this recap in my head before I even left the rink on Sunday. Something like ‘super short bench sends Silver to the slaughter’ was the thought, but he reality was a shockingly different story. Tropical Blue threw a dozen shots at second year stalwart, Silas Perks, in the first period, but had no goals to show for the effort. Silver managed just four shots in that frame, by comparison, and a 3:1 shot ratio, no subs, and the GOAT in goal at the other end is still a recipe for loss in any league. Dan Jurgens finally broke through, with assists to Nick Vacchio and Jon Champine, sending waves of relief through Tropical’s (full) bench, and a matching wave of ‘what are you going to do?’ through Silver’s tired hearts. Still…it was just a one goal game with one period to play, and while the shot total was now 23-8, Silver was still in it for the gold. Zach Salt greatly enhanced that winning chance in the first minute of the third, converting an assist from Captain Stratton herself to level the ledger at 1-1. Then….*cue the dramatic sports movie climax music*…Sadie Hellstrom gave Silver the lead less than two minutes later! Salt and Joel Gattey assisted on the goal, and Silver had to be feeling like they were not just playing with house money, but that they had actually broken the house. If there is a defining moment to this point in Silas Perks young career, winning the Cup in his first season may have just been eclipsed by ‘outdueling Sean Kelly, in spite of his team having zero subs, and in spite of being outshout 29-13’. Yes, Perks (28/29) and Silver managed the miraculous, and walked off with a 2-1 win over Kelly (11/13) and a shell-shocked Tropical Blue. So…I will just reword my preformulated headline to ‘WOW!’…that should cover it.

The nightcap was an intriguing blend of returning faces for Olive, and a mix of expected and unot-so-expected heroics for White. Phil Nguyen provided the latter brand of boost, opening the scoring for White less than a minute into the first, and just over a minute into the second to pace his team to a 2-1 lead. Erin Dowrey was one of the returning faces who made an impact for Olive, scoring in his first game back from a year and a half absence from league play to (very briefly) tie the score late in the first. London Peters was the second echo from the past to sound in the present for Olive, tying the score at two apiece early in the second in his first game back from knee injury/surgery. The ‘expected’ hero took over from there for White, as Brennan Abel pumped the game winner past Nick Vacchio (29/33) with just six ticks left in the second, then added insurance in the third with his second of the game (from Phil Nguyen and Pat Gladstone). Gladstone earned third star honors, having assisted on the first and final goals in White 4-2 win. The victory had to come as a MASSIVE relief to Chuck Bender (15/17) who suffered alongside yours truly and others through the two miserable, winless seasons prior. There were not enough stars to go around, but both Bender and Vance Morra (two assists) certainly earn honorable mention with their efforts. There is no question though that the top honor in this one goes to Phil…a great dude who had a great game to kick off the season right for White.