Saving Grace

Week 13:

‘Mother Tealesa & The Pope’ had the game face of their namesake (see above…don’t F with MT, yo) on in Week Thirteen, with their playoff safety in the balance. Early goings had it looking like they would fall flat on that game face, but an inspired rally pushed them past Olive, and nearly fully clear into May play. The final postseason spot is still at stake, but Aqua now control their own fate. Tropical Blue will need a win against Charcoal, and help from Red this Sunday to snatch the last seat at the playoff table…

The postmortem plod to the regular season finish line continued for ‘Black Widow’ in Week Thirteen, with Captain Shelby Shattuck, Alan Razoky, Mike Chiaco, Harsh Wanigaratne and Justin Stege all staying safe and cool at home, away from the blazing dumpster fire that will finally (mercifully) be extinguished with this Sunday’s finale. Captain Leah Gonzales was absent, as well, as were Vinny Santora and John Boddy, but there was plenty of Malki moxie in the lineup to take care of business for Maroon. Chris Malki scored twice in the second, with Ryan Karns and sub Kaitlyn Brusso assisting on the first, and son Joe helping out on the second, and we all know that a lead (let alone a two or more goal lead) against Black is an auto win this season. Jordan Pynn’s first of the season (let that sink in) early in the third from Rich Shane and Matt DeBerry cut the lead in half, and kept things interesting for a bit, but Ezra Cohen would restore the two goal edge roughly four minutes later, and Steve Deppensmith (14/15) and the overdogs would hold on for a 3-1 win. Matt Henderson (23/26) was the whipping boy once again, keeping his team in the game from start to finish, knowing full well that his efforts would be in vain. The loss was just another on the pile for Black, who have been eliminated in spirit for a month, and officially eliminated for weeks, but the win is an important one for Maroon. At 3-3-3, they have now officially punched their playoff ticket, and can play a loose, confident game versus a tough Olive side to close out their regular season this Sunday.

Royal Blue looked to wrap their regular season with a wrinkle in Silver’s plan for standings domination. A win would move them to 6-2-2, and check Silver to 6-1-2, leaving the door open for Captain Janet Goins’ crew to snatch the top playoff seed whilst enjoying their Week Fourteen bye. Numbers don’t lie, and inertia is a thing, so handing an undefeated team their first loss in their ninth game of the season is unlikely, but…we play the games because anything is possible…right? Nope…beating Silver appears to be impossible, or as close to it as possible. Royal Blue outshot Silver FIFTEEN to four in the first period, and yet…Alexis DaCosta accounted for the lone piece of paydirt, converting a Justin Ker pass to give Silver a 1-0 edge on the power play with just 0:37 to play in the frame. If you have been paying attention at all this season, you know that a 15/15 period is just another day at the office for ‘The Silencer’ (Silas Perks) but outshooting an opponent nearly 4:1, and finding yourself behind for all of your efforts just has to break spirits. Ker doubled Silver’s edge midway through the second (from Arnold Gonzales), and DaCosta’s second of the game (from Sadie Hellstrom) to make it 3-0 came with just 0:57 left in the middle stanza. Eric Herrmann righted the Royal Blue ship a bit just eighteen seconds later, but a two goal hole with one period to play is tough to climb out of against an average team, let alone an undefeated juggernaut with a brick wall in nets. Justin Ker capped his POTG evening with his second of the game early in the third, and while Carl Vankoughnett did manage to fire a second strike past Perks, it would not be nearly enough to slay the Silver dragon…Silver over Royal Blue, 4-2. Perks’ stopped 34/36 (!) to collect his seventh win of the season, and he continues to be the iron backbone of a team that is now 7-0-2…alone, and unreachable in the top playoff spot, regardless of what happens in the final week of play. Royal Blue will sit their bye this Sunday, currently clinging to the three seed, but in danger of falling as low as the five, should both Olive and White prevail in their final matches.

The odds of surviving the regular season were very much not in favor of Captain Emily Bennington’s Red side coming into Week Thirteen. At 1-6-1 (with that one win coming at the expense of season doormats, Black), Red would need to win out, and get a fair amount of help to preserve even a faint whisper of playoff hopes. Their penultimate opponent, Purple, has been an absolute enigma all season long, shifting swiftly from world beaters to world-beaten and back again with each passing week. Two scoreless periods ticked past, filling Red with equal parts hope and despair. They would need to score to win, and they would need to win to survive the regular season, but…all it would take was one shot…one goal, and a continued stellar effort from Nick Vacchio in nets. Joe Nguyen answered the bell, providing that one goal (from Joe Gaudio and Captain Bennington) at 6:59 in the third, and Red got that stellar effort from Nick Vacchio (22/22) to cobble together the 1-0 win over Purple they so desperately needed. As noted, Red would still need a number of cookies to crumble correctly to stay alive in the playoff picture. They would first need Olive to take care of business against Aqua later in the evening, then would need to prevail over Aqua in their finale, and hope that Charcoal would dispatch Tropical Blue in the final game of the season. Some hope is better than no hope, and Red now had ‘some hope’. The loss does little to damper Purple’s position, as Patrick Theis (14/15) & Company still sit near the creamy middle of the pack at 4-4-1. They will look to wrap their season with a ‘statement’ win over a seemingly unstoppable Silver side…a win which would be more about building playoff confidence than jockeying for a better seed.

A hot start to the season (2-0-1) for Aqua quickly cooled off, and it doesn’t get much colder than an 0-4-1 run. Futility begets frustration and fear, and the eleventh hour resurgence of Tropical Blue, and now Red (!) had Captain Steph Palomo Schmidt’s crew in an unhappy place coming into Week Thirteen. Facing an Olive team that was the red hot yin (5-0-1) to their ice cold yang only meant more frustration and fear. Falling down 0-2 through one period of play…palpable…downright edible frustration and fear. Not surprisingly, it was Josh Wirt who delivered not once (from Erin Dowrey and sub Janine Ulloa), but twice (from Will Heinl) to put Olive on the front foot, and send every ‘panic’ and ‘desperation’ chemical rushing through Aqua veins. David Schlatter broke in and finished a glorious scoring rush just eleven seconds into the second (from Mark DeGraffenreid and Janice Darlington), but Gary Peters was there to restore the two goal lead later in the period, and Olive moved into the third with a 3-1 lead, and Aqua’s will to live in a vice grip. It was at this point that all of that frustration and fear flowed into a ferocious fight back. Schlatter cut the lead back to one early in the third (from Tim Hamon and Janice Darlington), then threw a sweet centering feed that Mark DeGraffenreid poked home to knot the score at 3-3 with 6:12 to play. Schlatter would complete his hat trick (from DeGraffenreid) less than a minute later, accounting for the game-winner, with DeGraffenreid applying some paint and polish on the breakaway at 2:28 (from Tom Darlington). Chris Tran (17/20) was steady and strong throughout, giving the team in front of him the footing they needed to find their form, while Zach Siemer (10/15) suffered his first loss in an Olive uniform as a result of the crazy third period coup. When the smoke finally cleared on the sneak attack 5-3 win, Aqua lungs could finally draw a deep, clean breath, and rest reasonably assured that they would live to fight into May. ‘Reasonably’ is the operative word here, as a loss to Red (now officially eliminated) this Sunday, followed by a Tropical Blue miracle over Charcoal, and Aqua’s playoff air supply (fresh, or not) will be severed for good. Olive’s unbeaten streak has come to an end, but they can still rise as high as the two seed with a win against Maroon in their finale. An Olive win and a Charcoal win, and Captain Wendy Enright’s team will pull into the bronze position as we turn toward Week One of playoff action.

Two playoff bound teams met to measure themselves (and one another) in a regular season showdown with purely pride and a plum playoff perch at stake. Captain Shawna Hamon’s squad would look to shake off being ‘Herrmannated’ 3-1 in their last outing, while Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft’s White hoped to continue to bounce back from their first loss of the season to Purple (a 6-1 spanking) two weeks prior. The sub plot…Eric Herrmann’s one goal in Royal Blue’s final game of the season left the super sniper with 22 points on the season (14 and 8), with Charcoal’s Owen Perks looking to add to his already impressive total of 18 (12 and 6), close the scoring race gap, and bring us closer to a season COMPLETELY owned by The Perks Boys™. Perks would get that one goal late in the third (from Mark Ennsmann and Shawna Hamon), but that would be his only point in a rather decisive 4-0 win over White. Kalen Hunter opened the scoring early in the first (from Jackson Tomaszewski and Captain Hamon) before Captain Hamon herself scored a very pretty powerplay goal (from Chris Tran and Ryan Loughran) to double the advantage. The aforementioned Perks tally, and Ennsmann’s early second period strike (from Hunter and Hamon) accounted for the remainder of the scoring, as Don Tran (22/22) outdueled Chuck Bender (18/22) to leave White in the five spot in the standings at 4-2-3, and boost Charcoal into second place at 6-3-0. At the risk of sounding like a complete dick (would not be the first time), both White and Charcoal face little threat of loss in their final regular season games, with the former taking on the 0-8-1 Black, and the latter squaring off with a 2-5-2 Tropical Blue. The only major significance to either of these games will come if Aqua should lose to Red, which would keep Tropical Blue’s playoff hopes alive…but only with that Aqua loss and a (massive) upset win over Charcoal in the last game of the regular season slate. Lest I fail to mention it, Melissa Busby did not record a single point in this game. I realize that is not ‘news’ any more than ‘water is wet’ is ‘news’, but…I’m contractually obligated to point these things out.

Shots & Prayers

Week 12:

Captain Steph Palomo Schmidt's 'Mother Tealesa & The Pope' appear to have taken a vow of playoff poverty back in late February. That was the last time that Aqua savored a victory, improving their early season record to 2-0-1 with a 4-2 win over (of all teams) Charcoal. They have since fallen to their knees with an 0-4-1 stretch, dropping all the way out of the playoff picture with just two games to play....and two games left to pray...(if you subscribe to that nonsense).
Captain Steph Palomo Schmidt’s ‘Mother Tealesa & The Pope’ appear to have taken a vow of playoff poverty back in late February. That was the last time that Aqua savored a victory, improving their early season record to 2-0-1 with a 4-2 win over (of all teams) Charcoal. They have since fallen to their knees with an 0-4-1 stretch, dropping all the way out of the playoff picture with just two games to play….and two games left to pray…(if you subscribe to that nonsense).

Our cover team this week has been making the papers for all the wrong reasons, having dropped from moderate to strong contenders through their first three games to ‘currently out of the playoffs’ with their ineptitude since. Aqua limped into a Week Twelve meeting with White on an 0-3-1 slide, and with both top pick David Schlatter and de facto ‘engine’ Matt Rogers out of the lineup, the hopes of reversing that tragic trend were not high on Captain Steph’s bench. White had already secured their playoff passage coming in, but were looking to bounce back after getting knocked around by Purple 6-1 the week prior. Captain Maureen’s team came out very strong in the early going, dominating play from the opening faceoff, but Chris Tran’s superb form kept any damage at bay until the final tick of the first period clock. To add insult to the injury of (literal) last second timing, that opening White goal was scored by SDFHL super senior citizen, Steve Linke (from Brennan Abel and Vance Morra). The old man would return the favor on Abel’s early second period tally, which (with respect) was one of the flukier balls to find a home this season, bouncing in off Anthony Cerasuolo’s midsection. How they go in doesn’t matter, it’s how many go in, and Aqua was only able to muster one response — Mark DeGraffenreid from Brian Sheptycki and Cerasuolo midway through the third. Chuck Bender (14/15) was hardly tested, as White’s iron-clad defense kept less than half of Aqua’s meager shot total in the ‘actually a threat to score’ column, while Tran’s stellar 29/31 effort was spoiled by a drooling elder, one tick of the first period clock, and a hard luck own goal. The 2-1 win keeps White comfortably in the top half of the standings, with an outside shot at the top spot on the line in their remaining two games. Aqua will need a good result in one or both of their remaining games (Olive and Red), or they will concede their playoff place to color cousins, Tropical Blue (or possibly even Red).

Charcoal and Royal Blue met in a heavyweight bout with little more than pride, playoff positioning, and scoring title stats at stake. Eric Herrmann’s 11 and 7 coming in gave him just a one point edge over a fittingly ‘OP’ Owen Perks (11 and 6). The offensive potency of both teams (well beyond the two aforementioned studs) made this match an appealing post season appetizer, and promised to be a regular season ‘great show’. It did not disappoint. THE Chad Goins (his words), rumored consort of Captain Janet, struck first for Royal Blue on the penalty kill at 6:09 in the first. Eric Herrmann collected the sole assist on that tally, and soloed a (breathtaking) goal of his own later in the period. Charcoal, in the personage of…who else…Owen Perks had responded to tie the game roughly a minute before Herrmann restored the one goal lead, and Herrmann’s second of the game (from Carl Vankoughnett and Mr. Goins) doubled the difference through two periods of play. Both Don Tran (15/18) and Nick Meglich (20/21) held up well under the weight of the two top scorers, but Meglich was a smidge surer, and Royal Blue’s super star was a mite brighter, as Royal Blue held on through a scoreless third to celebrate a big 3-1 win. I should also note that Charcoal scraped the (very) bottom of the barrel and brought in Melissa Busby to replace Nadia Connelly. Busby promptly (and not surprisingly) flailed and failed on glorious chance after glorious chance for Charcoal, begging the question ‘why not just play with four out there when Shawna needs a rest’. If you’re scoring at home, Herrmann keeps his seat on top of the scoring charts with 21 points (13 and 8), while Perks remains in striking distance with two games to play at 18 (12 and 6). The win keeps Royal Blue just two points behind standings leader, Silver, whom they will face this Sunday. A win for Royal Blue would move them into first, but that position is likely to be very temporary, with Silver holding a game in hand to close out the season. The loss drops Charcoal to 5-3-0 leading into a Week Thirteen test of their high-powered offense versus White’s shutdown defense.

The middle matchup between Tropical Blue and Red was dripping in playoff implications, with both teams desperately desperate to scrape together enough points to push past pitiful prior performances and into playoff position. At 1-5-1, a win for Captain Emily Bennington’s Red would give them five points in the standings, keeping cut line straddlers, Aqua, and at least one other team well within reach with two games to play. A win for Captain Kyra Forsyth’s 1-5-2 Topical Blue would give them two straight wins, and (miracle of miracles) would put them ahead of Aqua and out of the cellar in the final playoff position with (alas) just one game left on their schedule. If you happened to get a peek at the player of the week, you know that Nick Vacchio was the man of this match. In a twisted twist, Vacchio is actually on the roster for both teams, but Red was obligated to find a sub for him in nets, as is the way. That sub (Nick Meglich) was under siege throughout, facing persistent pressure as Tropical Blue pulled out all the stops in their late season push for a minor miracle playoff conversion. Dan Jurgens provided the first punch for Tropical Blue late in the first (from Vacchio and Christopher Fiore), then assisted on Vacchio’s game-winner just 0:31 later to improve the lead to 2-0. It was Vacchio again (from Jurgens, again) to build the lead to three in the second, and Red would muster just a lone, late response from Joe Gaudio (from brother Rob and Too Tall Tyler Winstead). Don Tran (22/23) got a taste of victory in a fill-in role, after absorbing the loss for his true team (Charcoal), and the shoe was on the other foot for Nick Meglich (29/32) who suffered a surrogate loss for Red following a win with his real roster, Royal Blue. So, with the 3-1 win, coupled with the results from the 4:00pm game, meant that Tropical Blue would move into a tie with Aqua at six points, even in the win column tie breaker, and holding the head-to-head tie breaker…but also having just one game left to play to Aqua’s two. The loss puts Red at 1-6-1, but (insanely enough) still alive in the playoff picture. They will need to beat Purple this Sunday (no small task), and will need some help (in the form of Olive beating Aqua this Sunday, and a Charcoal win over Tropical Blue in the final week of play), but if they manage to sneak past Purple, and that help does arrive, they will have their playoff fate in their own hands as they take on Aqua on April 30th.

The season long funeral procession for Captain Shelby Shattuck’s ‘Black Widow’ continued to wind through the streets of SDFHLtown, with Purple bearing the pall in Week Thirteen. The good news for Black…they scored twice as many goals in this game as they had in seven prior games combined. The bad news…Purple scored twice as many goals as Black in this game. Jon Salt put Purple in front late in the first (from Brandon Olsen and Rob LaVigne), but an Alan Razoky sighting at 3:55 in the second (from Justin Stege and Jordan Pynn) drew the underdogs level at 1-1. A pair of late second period strikes — Captain Kerri Sevenbergen from Salt and Olsen, then Olsen from Janine Ulloa abruptly upended any Black hopes for a upset win, and Eric Willard’s goal (from Olsen) at 6:16 in the third was just another shovelful of dirt on Black’s coffin (the coffin now having made its way to the cemetery plot, if you want to follow the imagery along). Matt DeBerry put a brief pause in da burial with his first of the season at 5:02 (from Mark Daquipa and Captain Shelby Shattuck), but Reverend Patrick Theis (22/24) cleared his throat, and completed his eulogy with ‘yea, and Purple laid Black to rest on that day, having scored two fold thine enemy’s two‘. The plate was then passed to collect donations for the Brotherhood Of Unsupported Goalies…a cause near and dear to Matt Henderson (20/24). RIP, Black…may winged hat tricks forever circle your shoulders in the after season. Meanwhile, back on the living plane, Purple have officially officially secured safe playoff passage with the win at 4-3-1. They will look to inter another quasi-corpse in Red this Sunday…

Two teams riding lengthy unbeaten streaks met to put those streaks to the test in Week Thirteen. Captain Wendy Enright’s Olive lost their first two games of the season, but had not lost or even tied since. Captain Audrey Stratton’s Silver side had, well, never lost, and had allowed just one tie in a mid-March meeting with White. So, while both teams sat very comfortably in playoff position already, with really nothing to lose in this match, neither wanted to set their unbeaten streak aside, and both hoped for something of a ‘statement win’ to further bolster confidence heading into the final weeks of play. A scoreless first saw Silas Perks as the far busier of the two netminders, as the MVP-to-be stopped all seven shots he faced, compared with the meager pair deflected by Zach Siemer at the other end. Erin Dowrey continued his sparkling swan song season with his fourth on the campaign (from Josh Wirt) at 6:43 in the second, but Zach Salt responded with a pair of goals later in the frame (the first from Sadie Hellstrom and Matt Gottfried, and the second from Captain Stratton) to give Silver a 2-1 edge through two. The third period clock wound towards its final tick, and it certainly looked as though ‘The Silencer’ would secure another W for Silver, but Josh Tran found a will and a way to wind one home with just 0:27 to play to provide what is perhaps the most apropos final score between two teams that refuse to lose…a 2-2 point splitter. Perks (18/20) remained the busier of the goalies throughout, and ACTUALLY ALLOWED TWO GOALS for just the second time in eight games. Siemer (11/13) surrendered the pair of Salt strikes in a busy second frame (facing ten shots in that period, alone), but Olive’s defense was sublimely stingy in the first and third, forcing Zach to make just three total saves over that twenty minute span. The result keeps Silver at the top of the pile at 6-0-2, with only a few potential threats to that perch remaining, including Olive (5-2-1).

Sip & Slide

Week 11:

Captain Kyra Forsyth & ‘Tea(l) Time With Queen Vacchtoria’ took their first sip of ‘victor tea’, fattened their slim playoff hopes, and kept color cousins, Aqua, sliding down the standings into cut line peril with a stunning 3-2 come from behind win in Week Eleven. A Week Twelve showdown with Red is absolutely make or break for both sides, with the winner having a legitimate hope of finally climbing out of the basement (and over a team like Aqua, who must find their footing fast, or flame out of the playoff picture altogether)…

Neither Captain Janet Goins’ Royal Blue, nor Captain Wendy Enright’s Olive had lost a game since February 5th, and with both teams nestled in the cozy upper branches of the standings, this meeting was more about playoff posturing and pride than anything else. Olive was ‘the hottest team in the league’ coming in, having won four straight after a two loss stumble out of the gate, and they would remain hot, and cool down Royal Blue in the process in the Week Eleven opener. Tomáš Jankovic got Olive rolling with his first goal (indeed, first point) of the season at 6:25 in the first, with assists to Josh Wirt and Will Heinl. A scoreless second came courtesy of great efforts in nets from both Olive’s Zach Siemer (20/21), and Royal Blue super sub, Chris Tran (20/22). Wirt put that second blemish on Tran’s sheet early in the second, converting on the power play from Heinl and Sally Jackson to push the margin to 2-0. Erin Plone is really coming into her own, and she notched her third (!) goal of her rookie campaign less than a minute after Wirt’s strike (and ‘paid the price’ in front of the net, as a result), collecting a Carl Vankoughnett pass, and flipping a backhand past Siemer to break his shutout string, and bring Royal Blue within one. Siemer and Olive would hold on to complete the rare feat of keeping Eric Herrmann off the sheet in a ‘statement’ 2-1 win that has them knocking on the door of the standings top floor. With ten points each, both teams have officially clinched a playoff berth, and can now relax, and focus on staying healthy, padding stats, and enjoying their remaining regular season games…

The haves (Silver) faced off against the have-nots (Black) in the second game on the Week Eleven Easter slate, and the result was, well, exactly what you would expect. The heroics of Matt Henderson (23/25) in nets for Black should not be lost in the result, which was closer than a typical battle of top and bottom, thanks largely to him. Sadie Hellstrom put one past Henderson at 9:22 in the first (from Joel Gattey and Matt Gottfried), but the veteran netminder shook it off, and kept his team in it from there. A scoreless second meant that Captain Shelby Shattuck’s squad had a chance at a massive coup going into the third, but…alas…this team just CANNOT SCORE. Alexis DaCosta (from Zach Salt and Gottfried) added an insurance marker at 9:38 in the third, and a two goal lead is a death sentence for any team facing Silas ‘The Silencer’ Perks (22/22), let very much alone a team with one (wobbly) goal to their credit in six games. Make that ‘…in seven games’, as Perks kept the Black attack in the sack with his third shutout of the season in Silver’s 2-0 win. Again, I don’t want to lose site of the valiance of Henderson’s effort in this one, but I also refuse to stop peeing my pants over Perk’s sublime season to this point. He is, without question, the MVP of this team (and the entire league), with an absolutely weapons-grade line of .968/0.71/3 SO. How are you going to beat a team when you can only hope (let alone expect) to score a fraction of a goal against them? Applause to Black for giving it a strong crack, especially without the services of half their team (Alan Razoky, Rich Shane, Harsh Wanigaratne, and Mark Daquipa), but this loss should serve as the final nail in a coffin that Black has been test driving all season long. Meanwhile, there are no signs of slowing down for Captain Audrey Stratton’s team, who enter their final three games at 6-0-1…the only remaining undefeated team, and the only team with a single digit number in the ‘goals allowed’ column (FIVE!)…

Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft’s White came into Week Eleven as the only team other than Silver without a loss…in spite of two close brushes with the dreaded L, and one ULTRA close brush. The ‘press’ (me) was buzzing about how ‘unkillable’ the 3-0-3 team had proven to be week in and week out, but this week proved the undoing of that trend. Captain Kerri Sevenbergen’s Purple came into the match with perhaps the most erratic/inconsistent performance history in the league…the ‘box of chocolates’ of the Winter League 2023 season, for sure. Well, they pulled nothing but sweetness from that box this time out, with much of the sugar (ironically) coming in the form of Salt. Jon Salt, to be clear…the lesser of the Salt Bros™. He opened the scoring for Purple at 6:43 in the first (from Rob LaVigne), then soloed the game-winner at 5:15 in the second. Brandon Olsen plumped the advantage to 3-0 to close out the second…setting the stage for what would typically be an epic White comeback. The comeback started with Brennan Abel at 9:31 in the third (from Jim LaGrossa and Pat Gladstone). Unfortunately for White, that is also where this rally would end. Patrick Theis (21/22) made his HOF papa proud, holding the gates shut the rest of the way, while add-on tallies from Weston Nawrocki (from Lavigne), Olsen again (this time on the power play from Salt and Mark Nagy), and Nagy from LaVigne meant that White’s string of staving off a loss was well at an end…6-1, Purple prevails. Chuck Bender (15/21) swallowed his first loss of the season, which is back pat worthy, given that White is seven games in. They remain in the top half of the standings in spite of the loss at 3-1-3, while the win gives Purple a much needed confidence boost and some breathing room in the standings at 3-3-1. White have all but punched their playoff ticket…it’s possible they already have, if I only had the patience to do the math. Purple remain on the bubble, but a Week Twelve meeting with Black, and a Week Thirteen meeting with Red have to have them feeling pretty good about their second season odds.

Captain Emily Bennington’s Red (which is really ‘maroon’) took their agenda of desperation into Week Eleven to face Captain Leah Gonzales’ Maroon (also ‘maroon’). Coming in at 1-5-0, the ‘must win’ portion of the proceedings was officially underway for the former, while the latter looked to steady the ship, riding in on a four game winless stretch that featured three blowout losses and one gut punch tie. Mostafa Azab got Red off on the right foot late in the first (from Joe Gaudio), and a pair of Gaudio (Joe again…Rob was out) passes found Scott Wieland’s tape, and subsequently the back of the net to put the underdogs on top 3-0. Mark Scelfo found the first response for Maroon late in the second (from Ezra Cohen and Vincent Santora), but Red still carried a 3-1 lead, and the hope of a resurrected season into the final period of play. Joe Malki had ideas of his own about both Red’s 3-1 lead and that whole ‘hope’ bit, and he dashed both with a pair of goals at 7:39 (from Captain Gonzales) and 1:52 (on the power play from Papa Malki and Captain Gonzales) to bring Maroon level, and level Red’s expectations of a big springboard win. Nick Vacchio (24/27) battled hard once again, but was ultimately tagged with another non-win, while Chuck Bender (13/16) reaped the benefit of the comeback surge from Maroon, to improve his record as a sub this season to 2-2-1. The 3-3 tie leaves Red at 1-5-1, needing every point they can scrape and almost certainly a bit of help to survive into May. This Sunday’s showdown with Tropical Blue is as ‘make or break’ as it gets, and they can no longer afford to lose (nor to blow a three goal lead and tie). Maroon’s winless streak has now run to five games, and while a 2-3-3 record still finds them in cut line danger, they may look back at this salvaged point against Red as their season’s salvation. Maroon will likely need at least another point or two to guarantee playoff passage. They can take solace in seeing Black on their schedule after this Sunday’s bye, but the close out the season against and absolutely-on-a-mission Olive side.

It was another clash of close colors, and (eerily enough) two teams with nearly identical trajectories to that of Red and Maroon in the nightcap, as our cover team (led by Captain Kyra Forsyth) took their ‘must win’ mindset into battle against a 2-2-2 ‘Aqua’ side (a side that came in on a three game winless slide). With just two points to their credit coming in, and just three games left in their season, Captain Forsyth’s crew would need a win win win situation to close out the season with any hope of moving on into May. Ian Crooks took the first step toward that first win for Tropical Blue, cashing in a Luke Wolmer assist to put his team up 1-0 through one. Close set penalties early in the second to Sev Brown and Nick Vacchio gave Aqua a 5 on 3 advantage, and David Schlatter took advantage of that advantage to even the score (from Matt Rogers). Schlatter would set up Mark DeGraffenreid’s first goal of the season (CONGRATULATIONS, OLD MAN!), finishing a two on one break that was sprung by Brian Sheptycki. Aqua’s lead held into the second half of the third period, but the penalty ghost game back to haunt Captain Steph Palomo Schmidt’s side, as Chris Fiore fired home a shot from the point (from Forsyth) to knot the score at two apiece. The stage was set for a big moment, and it was POTW honoree, Kaitlyn Brusso, seizing that moment, sliding home her first career goal…a game-winner, and potential season-saver with 2:07 to play. CONGRATULATIONS, KAITLYN! Sean Kelly earned his FIRST win of the season with the 11/13 effort, while Chris Tran (12/15) shouldered another bitter loss for an Aqua team that now sits right on the cut line…just two points ahead of Tropical Blue for the final playoff ticket. Help is on the way for Aqua, as they pick up Tim Hamon to replace John Hwang, who played just one game before suffering an ankle injury, and they need all the help they can get to right their ship and make their way back to safer playoff waters. Tropical Blue has just two games remaining, and this Sunday’s showdown with Red is THE game…the loser is almost assuredly done, while the winner may well find themselves knocking on the back door to May play.

Rise & Shine

Week 10:

‘Maya AngeBLUE’ is quite the force, and this is no surprise. They haven’t reached the top just yet, but still, ‘like dust, they rise’. Captain Janet Goins and her crew relied on their leading ladies in Week Ten, as the captain herself and rookie Erin Plone accounted for two of three goals in a statement win over Aqua. The Royal Blue crew have not lost since February 5th, and remain in striking distance of the top playoff seed going into their final three games.

You’ll forgive me for sounding like a broken record in these recaps, but Silas Perks looks to be on pace to break some records this season…I’m just trying to be like him. Silver and Maroon are both good teams, but Perks makes the former great, and continues to make opponents look, well…’meh’. With the goaltender being the only player on a team who is on the court for the entire game (unless he/she gets pulled in the waning minutes), having a great one gives you a great chance of prevailing…this is simple math. So, in a matchup between the (statistically) best goalie in the league and the worst, it should probably come as no surprise that the former won…handily. You do have to score goals to win, no matter who your goalie is, and Zach Salt did the honors (with honors) in this one, opening and closing the scoring in the first period for Silver, completing his hat trick in the third, and assisting on the only two Silver goals that he didn’t score himself (Matt Gottfried’s game-winner in the first, and Sadie Hellstrom’s insurance marker in the second). That’s five total goals, which is WAY more than enough when you have King Silas behind you. Perks (19/20) collected his fifth win on the season, keeping his team at ease throughout, and keeping Silver at the top of the pile at 5-0-1. Steve Deppensmith (11/16) saw his record (and his team’s, in turn) fall below .500 with the 5-1 loss, having been afforded only a fifth the goal support of his counterpart — Chris Malki’s fourth of the season late in the second period. Silver will look to add to their already impressive win total this Sunday, when they take on Black…a team that has exactly the opposite record (0-5-1), and has scored just ONE goal all season. Maroon will look to bounce back against Red (AKA…’The Other Maroon’), who have also failed to find their footing this season at 1-5-0.

The only team other than Silver without a loss this season put that mark on the line against a desperate, nearly down and out for good Tropical Blue side. Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft’s squad has proven to be the most resilient and least put-away-able team this season, by far, having survived the clock against Royal Blue, a three goal deficit with four minutes to play against Maroon, and even managing a tie against the well-oiled winning machine that is Silver. In short, you’d expect a fair amount of confidence from White as they strode onto the court in Week Ten, and you would certainly expect no panic to set in when Nick Vacchio converted on the powerplay (from Ian Crooks and Luke Wolmer) to draw first blood for Tropical Blue at 2:58 in the first. You’d be very right in assuming that White would bounce right back, as Vance Morra evened the tide just 1:20 later, scoring on one of twelve (!) first period shots for the favorites. Sean Kelly (27/29) has had a shaky season (especially by his lofty standards), but he was (paradoxically) ‘The Old Kid’ in this one, keeping Tropical Blue in it from start to finish. Unfortunately for Captain Kyra Forsyth’s crew, that score at the finish was 2-1 in White’s favor, and even more unfortunately, this loss may be the one that finishes them for good. Morra came through again in the third period, as well, but this time providing the helping hand on Geoff Downes’ game-winner at 4:37, wasting Kelly’s vintage valiance, and making the ho-hum effort from Chuck Bender (9/10) at the other end good enough for another win. So…White at 3-0-3…nine points…just tuning up for the second season, at this point. Tropical Blue…0-5-2…just three games left to play with hope (against hope) that winning out may get them into the final playoff spot. That hoping starts this Sunday as they take on color cousins, Aqua, while White look to remain undefeated (and help Tropical Blue in the process, incidentally) against cut-line-adjacent Purple.

Captain Emily Bennington’s Red has shared basement accommodations with Tropical Blue and Black all season, and while they have a ‘game in hand’ on Tropical Blue, and while they have proven they are capable of…you know…actual quantifiable offense, unlike Black, they have also reached the MUST WIN phase of their dismal Winter 2023 campaign. The back door is open (TWSS) for Red (more on this in a bit), but a loss to run and gun Charcoal in Week Ten would certainly not help their chances. Spoiler alert…they lost to Charcoal. The first period was not only scoreless, but the two teams managed a combined FIVE shots…one shot for either side every two minutes…wow. The shot totals ramped up considerably in the second period, but only for Charcoal, and one of those shots found a home behind Nick Vacchio to break the scoring seal, and put Red in an all too familiar position going into the third. That second period game-winner came off the stick of Owen Perks (from Mark Ennsmann), who is really doing his all to keep pace in the press with brother, Silas. Perks rattled off his second and third goals of the game in the third, and assisted on Ennsmann’s tally at the top of the period to bring his goal total on the season to eleven (tied for first with Eric Herrmann), and his point total to seventeen (one back of Herrmann). So, basically, if you have The Perks Boys™ on the same team, you’d win every game something like 17-0…give or take. Vacchio (17/21) was very sharp, and did all he could in the losing effort, but the operative word here is ‘losing’, and that is a word with which Red can no longer afford to be associated if they want to play into May. Don Tran (7/7) returned from his whirlwind vacation and got all suited up to stop seven whole shots…not the stuff of legends, but it’s not his fault the team in front of him is that strong. So…about that backdoor (TWSS) for Red…they have four games remaining. They face a tough challenger this Sunday in Maroon, but if they can generate more than seven shots against Deppensmith, they can expect more than zero goals. They then have Tropical Blue…a very beatable team that has been very beaten this season, Purple…a team Red would need to pass, and a team that has lived as close to the cut line as any team ‘in playoff position’ has all season, then one final hurdle in Aqua to wrap the regular season. Is a Red playoff berth likely…no. Is it possible…yes. Red can at least take solace in the fact that they have a certain amount of ‘berth control’ heading into their final four games.

Our cover team, Royal Blue, are probably overdue for some attention…some hype…maybe even a little Cup buzz. Captain Janet Goins’ team has, by most standards, ‘flown under the radar’ to this point, in spite of waging an impressive march toward the tippy top of the standings ladder. Were it not for a 4-0 loss to Purple, a game in which they were without the services of Nik Thompson, Glenn Pinto, and a scrappy role player by the name of Eric Herrmann, and an absolutely last millisecond (perhaps…extra millisecond) tie with White, this team might be 6-0-1, atop the standings, and (for now, anyway), holding the high ground on their April 23rd opponent, Silver. Yes, I know, if ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have a Merry Christmas, but…my point is that this is a damn good team that is maybe not getting their due in the ‘lamestream media’ (that’s me, in this case). Aqua (one of ‘the other blues’) has held their own this season, but quite honestly have yet to earn the kind of respect and buzz as the teams at the top of the standings have proven they deserve. They entered the fray with Royal Blue at 2-1-2, with just ONE player on their roster having recorded more than one goal through five games (David Schlatter). Eric Herrmann has a lot of goals this season, and he had the first one in this tilt, converting a pass from Captain Janet Goins into a 1-0 lead at 5:33 in the first. It was the captain herself doubling the damage less than a minute later, on a fluky/bouncy passing play from Kyle Prior. Down two, with Matt Rogers headed to the box for roughing up Carl Vankoughnett at 3:25 in the second, the situation looked grim for Captain Steph Palomo Schmidt & Company. Enter the aforementioned Schlatter, racing onto an outlet pass from Anthony Cerasuolo to cut the lead in half on the penalty kill, and give life to a limp Aqua bench. It was Schlatter again early in the third, scoring from distance (from Matt Rogers and Chris Tran) to knot the score at two apiece, and bring an already heated match to a boiling point. In hindsight, I regret congratulating Erin Plone on her first career SDFHL goal before the opening faceoff. That is because Erin Plone scored her second career SDFHL goal in this one (from Herrmann and Glenn Pinto) following her own rebound to slide the game-winner past a baffled Tran to seal the deal for Royal Blue, 3-2 over Aqua. I think maybe my pat on the back was the push in the right direction (well, the wrong direction, for me) here. Were it not for Chris Tran (21/24…and, oh yeah, an assist!), this game would not have been as close as it was. Nick Meglich (18/20) was no slouch on his end of the rink, stopping a good number of quality chances, including at least one Schlatter breakaway. The win has Royal Blue at 4-1-2, tied with Charcoal at ten points, and one point behind Silver for the catbird seat. Intrigue abounds, as both Charcoal and Silver remain on Royal Blue’s regular season slate…place your bets, and bring your popcorn. Aqua, meanwhile, will lick their wounds, and look to officially punch their playoff ticket with a strong showing in their remaining four games.

To say that Captain Shelby Shattuck and her ‘Black Widow’ have had a rough season is a pretty massive understatement…it’s a Hindenburg-level tragedy. With five games in the books, and zero (yes, zero) goals in that 0-4-1 span, the playoff door was already only VERY slightly ajar as Black took to the court against Olive in Week Ten, with the sense being that this might be the week that door slams shut for good. Olive came in riding a league-best three game win streak, flipping the script on what might have been their on horror story season after an 0-2-0 start. Olive’s resurgence has largely been led by Josh Kosh B’Gosh™ (Wirt and Tran), with the two accounting for the lion’s share of goals and assists over that stretch, but the hero role was played on this night by Erin Dowrey. Dowrey scored first for Olive in the first (from Wirt), assisted on Will Heinl’s game-winner later in the first, and sealed the win with an empty-netter in the final minute of play to snatch first star honors with a 2 and 1 showing. But…wait…Pope…surely I have misread the previous sentence…or, you have clearly made an error! If the second Olive goal was the ‘game-winner’, then…that would mean that Black actually scored a goal. Please explain how this is possible. Faithful reader, I do understand your confusion, but I can assure you that BLACK ACTUALLY DID SCORE A GOAL! Now, granted, I am told it was something of an odd/broken/fluky play, but Mike Chiaco (who else) finally broke the scoring curse for Black (from Justin Stege), and actually made this one a game down to the bitter end. That bitter end was a 3-1 loss…another on the pile for Black, and another in the sprint the other way for Olive. In all seriousness, congratulations on ending this historic streak, Black! Captain Shattuck and the gang will have to settle for the moral victory, as it may well be the only kind of victory they manage this season. At 0-5-1, with two of their remaining games coming against the likes of White and Silver…I feel confident in the assessment that this team is officially done. Hopefully they are able to just relax and enjoy the rest of the season…maybe score a few more goals…stay healthy, and live to fight another season. Zach Siemer (10/11) may suffer the stain of being the only goalie to have allowed a Black goal this season, but he is also now 2-0-0 with a snazzy .926/1.00 since coming on as Olive’s regular backstop. His efforts have helped to extend Olive’s win streak to four, and Captain Wendy Enright’s team is quickly becoming that ‘team you don’t want to draw’ come playoff time.

Silver Belles

Week 9:

Don't let the 'boss bitch' look fool you...Captain Audrey Stratton's Silver is clearly a band of bosses, but certainly nobody's bitch. The first half frontrunners sit poised and pretty on a throne made of other teams' broken dreams, and appear focused on expanding their empire all the way to the fabled Cuplands. It remains to be seen whether any can defeat them, let alone unseat them, as we turn to the second half of our wet, winding Winter season...
Don’t let the ‘boss bitch’ look fool you…Captain Audrey Stratton’s Silver is clearly a band of bosses, but certainly nobody’s bitch. The first half frontrunners sit poised and pretty on a throne made of other teams’ broken dreams, and appear focused on expanding their empire all the way to the fabled Cuplands. It remains to be seen whether any can defeat them, let alone unseat them, as we turn to the second half of our wet, winding Winter season…

Cockroaches, Marvel super villains, the giant chicken on Family Guy…all things that are ‘hard to kill’. We can officially add ‘Captain Maureen Ruchhoeft’s ‘White Hot Flashes’ to that list…maybe the top of that list, after another ridiculous reversal of fortune kept her team out of the loss column and one point closer to a playoff position. A scoreless first elapsed with both teams advancing, retreating, and trying to find their form. Ezra Cohen checked in with his first of the season at 8:40 in the second to put Maroon out front (from Vinny Santora), but Young Canuck™ POTW, Brennan Abel responded minutes later to bring the ledger level. A Jeff Henderson trip to the box for tripping found Maroon short-handed, but John Boddy found a short-handed goal (from super sub, Deborah Finucane) with just 0:22 to go in the middle frame, putting Captain Leah Gonzales’ group out front, 2-1. Joe Malki struck at 8:37 in the third, then recorded the primary assist on (really super sub) Finucane’s goal-flavored contribution to build Maroon’s lead to a sturdy, sizeable 4-1 bulge. This is when White did what White does…break your back with a killer comeback. Abel drew White within two (from super sub, Sadie Hellstrom, and Geoff Downes) at 4:22, then Phil Nguyen (from Hellstrom, again) made it 4-3 with 1:27 to play. White continued to press, pulling Chuck Bender (14/18) to allow for an extra attacker. A frantic final minute saw White swarming…sparing no effort in their push to complete another cosmically confounding coup. Brennan Abel…from a long line of Abels…so named because they are able to create facts from fable…backhand snap…0:22…4-4 is your final, folks…another non-loss for White, and a tough one point pill for Maroon…incredible! White, who by all rights could/should be 2-2-1, now sit at 2-0-3, very much in the hunt for the playoff cat bird seat, and forever brimming with confidence from here out, no matter what the score, and what the time on the clock. Maroon, who had all but counted their third win of the season, now sit at a sample platter 2-2-2 in the mushy middle of the standings with four games left on their slate.

The irresistible force that is Charcoal (twenty-seven goals in five games coming into Week Nine) met the immovable object that is Silver’s Silas Perks, who had allowed just four goals in four games coming in to the showdown. The result was…what you would expect? Zach Salt gave his goalie a one goal lead with his third of the season late in the third (from Arnold Gonzales), and one is quite often all you need with King Silas suited up behind you. Charcoal pressed for the equalizer, and Silver sought insurance, but neither team did any damage in the second, leaving everything on the line going into the final ten minutes of play. Zach Siemer (15/17) was certainly solid in Don Tran’s stead, but Matt Gottfried converted a Justin Ker pass to double the lead for Silver with 5:33 to play, and a two goal lead is almost always a winning edge for Perks. Spoiler alert, it was exactly the winning edge in this one, as Perks (20/20) stuck the dismount on another monster effort, earning his fourth win on the season in Silver’s 2-0 tiptoe past the titans of twine-tickling. The win keeps Silver lossless through the first half of their season at 4-0-1, alone atop the standings pile with nine points. Perks himself remains parked in the prime spot on the goalie stats table with a gaudy .964/0.80/2 SO line. Charcoal will definitely have a possible playoff rematch with Silver circled on their calendar, and will hope that the their co-leader in goal scoring, Kalen Hunter, will be in the lineup for that one. The player who shares that goal scoring lead for Charcoal…Owen Perks! The rematch story lines (and the Thanksgiving table smack talk) is writing itself, folks…

It is becoming more and more difficult to convey the depths of utter futility that Captain Shelby Shattuck’s ‘Black Widow’ have reached through the first half of their season. They limped into Week Nine with zero wins, ZERO goals, and just one point in the standings, which was, of course, the result of a ZERO-ZERO tie with basement buddies, Tropical Blue. Still, they had reason to believe that the fifth time would be the charm, as they lined up against an 0-4-0 Red team…the only team with less points in the standings….but also a team at least as desperate to change their fate. The first period…no surprises…scoreless, with a mere eight shots combined, and no sign of a clear edge for either side. Rob Gaudio finally broke the seal with his second in as many games (from Brother Joe™ and Mostafa Azab), to give Red that edge, and put Black (once again) on edge. After all, if you have failed to score though the first thirteen periods of the season, you have to start feeling like it may never happen. The 1-0 Red lead held well into the third period, with the clock steadily eroding Black’s morale, and Nick Meglich (10/10) remaining strong in a sub stint for Nick Vacchio. Brother Joe™ added the final nail in an already shut and sealed coffin with just 0:35 to play, taking any chance of a point out of play for Black, who once again failed to muster a single goal in the 2-0 soul-crushing loss. Matt Henderson (11/13) was forced to swallow another L, all while watching his team’s NOffence register their fifth straight goal-free game. Without grinding through piles of historical stats, I feel confident in stating that this is the worst scoreless stretch for any team in 25+ years of SDFHL play. You cannot win if you cannot score, and Black has now managed an entire half of a season without so much as a lucky bounce to their credit. It’s a bit too early to start with the math, but Black will almost certainly need to win four of their remaining five games if they have any hope of making the playoffs. Baby steps…they will need to score A SINGLE FUCKING GOAL against Olive this Sunday, as a start. The win gets Captain Emily Bennington’s side off the schnide, but at 1-4-0, they still have a long way to go to second season safety. A second straight win will be a major challenge, as they face an angry, overpowered Charcoal in Week Ten.

Captain Kyra Forsyth’s Tropical Blue entered Week Nine with the same sad, solitary point in the standings as Black…but with one more notch in the games played column. The bright side…they came in to their match with Royal Blue knowing that they could score the occasional goal, with half a dozen in the bank through their 0-4-1 first half. Captain Janet Biggerstaff Goins’ team had to like their chances in the Battle Of Two Blue Hues, as their roster features two players who themselves had already matched or bettered Tropical’s goal totals to that point in the season. Those two players, Eric Herrmann and Carl Vankoughnett, had to be licking their chops at the chance to perpetuate one of the most shocking storylines of the first half…that Sean Kelly appears to be mortal! A scoreless first saw both Kelly and Nick Meglich steady and focused, but Herrmann did find a way past the former in the second (from Glenn Pinto and Vankoughnett) to give Royal Blue a 1-0 lead. That lead lasted exactly forty seconds, as Andy Strathman (from Ian Crooks and Dan Jurgens) struck back for Tropical Blue at 2:17 in the second to even things at one apiece. A scoreless third meant that both Kelly (18/19) and Meglich (16/17) would tip their respective caps to one another in a 1-1 tie. Tropical is ‘trending in the right direction’ now, with points in consecutive games, but you cannot crawl your way to the podium in a foot race, and they remain very much on the outside of the playoff picture looking in now at 0-4-2. The door to May games could be all but slammed closed on Tropical’s stormy season if they can’t find a way to stun (the unkillable) ‘White Hot Flashes’ in Week Ten. The tie puts the ‘point’ in disappointment for Royal Blue, who could have matched Silver’s nine spot with a win, but there is really no doubt that this this shade of blue’s true colors will propel them to the playoffs.

Captain Wendy Enright’s Olive found themselves pitted in their first two games of the season, but pleasantly pimentoed (new verb the kids are all using) in their third and fourth turns, leaving them at 2-2-0, and riding a two game win streak into their first half finale. Captain Kerri Sevenbergen’s Purple took a decidedly more jagged jog into Week Nine, with blowout loss, blowout win, blowout loss, narrow win, and tepid tie their story coming into the Week Nine nightcap. Olive looked to keep their winning ways whirring, while Purple hoped to break that broken pattern, string together strong starts, and boost their confidence and playoff security in the process. Josh Tran made his opening argument for maintaining the ‘winning ways’, putting Olive on top with an unassisted strike at 8:20 in the first. Jon Salt presented his case for ‘breaking the broken pattern’ with his seventh of the season at 6:13 in the second (from Mark Nagy). The third period would be the judge, and Josh Wirt brought his robe, his gavel, and a bag full of gravel to bury Purple with a late pair of goals to keep Olive rolling confidently, and Purple rocking precariously, 3-1. Wirt’s game-winner came courtesy of a helping hand from Captain Enright at 2:13, and the empty net nail was hammered home by Josh & Josh Construction & Demolition™ (Wirt from Tran). Purple enter their bye week at 2-3-1, which would have them wringing their hands in playoff peril most any other season. This is not any other season, though, and the odds of Red or Tropical Blue closing the current three point cut off line gap while Purple sit idle are slim, at best. Meanwhile, the win pushes Olive’s record to the winning side at 3-2-0, and makes them officially the ‘hottest team in the league’, having won three straight. In fact, only one other team (front running Silver) has matched that streak at any point this season. They will hope to bump the run to four this Sunday against a beaten, beleaguered Black side.