Captain Rob Gaudio’s ‘Blue Liner Bubble Boy’ took one step closer to playoff safety, capturing their first win of the season in 3-1 win over ‘Graymerica Industries’. The Blue captain led his team out of the gate with his second of the season at 6:41 in the first (from Josh Wirt and Marshall Hamon), and slammed the proverbial gate on Grey with his second of the game at 3:43 in the third (from Tim Hamon). The middle period saw an exchange of goals from either side, with John Gamm netting the game-winner for Blue at 9:05 (from Marshall Hamon), and rookie Dan Soar responding less than a minute later for Grey (from Janice Darlington). so, this game saw Soar’s first career goal (CONGRATULATIONS!), Marshall Hamon’s first career points (CONGRATULATIONS!), and, most importantly for Gaudio’s crew, their first notch in the win column, moving them out of the back pack and into a slightly safer spot in the standings at 1-2-3. Chris Tran (24/25) earned first star honors for his sparkling sheet, while Matt Henderson (11/14) suffered the loss at the other end. If you’re in an all-Hamon fantasy league, we now have Shawna at three goals, zero assists, Tim at one goal, two assists, and Marshall at zero goals, two assists. My money’s on the kid to rally to household victory. Speaking of rallying, Blue will no doubt need at least a few more points to survive the cutline, and with their next two opponents (Teal and Red) sitting at a combined 7-1-4, they will need some upset mojo, and/or a winning effort against current standing neighbors, Purple, in the final week of play if they hope to complete their playoff push. At 2-2-2, Grey is by no means all that much safer than Blue at this point, but after what should be a fun, hard-fought, middle-of-the-pack battle with Yellow this Sunday, their final two opponents (Orange and Black…a combined 1-7-4) smell like wins-to-be for Captain Zach Siemer’s crew.

With Yellow’s Captain Carl and Buddy Brennan™ away, John Boddy came out to play…and slay. The swashbuckling sniper scored (seemingly) at will, capitalizing on those key Yellow vacancies, and more than making up for the absence of fellow SDFHL demi-god, David Schlatter. It was actually Joel Gattey who would draw first blood for the lossless favorites, converting a Captain Ryan Karns assist into a power play goal at 4:53 in the first. Teal was in Boddy cruise control from there out, with JB goals at 1:10 in the first (from Karns), the unassisted game-winner at 4:32 in the second, and a pair of third period goals (from Alan Razoky and Joe Nguyen, then from Gattey to close out the scoring). That’s one man…four goals, and another victory for a team so deep they don’t miss the likes of David Schlatter. Yellow did muster (Yellow…muster…*rim shot*) two responses…the first coming in the middle frame from Jim LaGrossa (Scott Wieland and Audrey Stratton), and the second in the third period (Wieland from Mason LaGrossa). LaGrossa (the older one) is back to his usual top tier form this season, sitting atop the player stats board with fifteen points (5 and 10). Boddy’s Week Six heroics have him just below Jim at fourteen (10-4, good Boddy). Teal has bragging rights where it counts, though…on the scoreboard for this one (a 5-2 win over Yellow), and in the standings, where they still sit on a shared throne with Olive at 5-0-1 (both of whom, incidentally, have now already clinched a playoff berth). They face a determined, but not-quite-desperate-yet Blue this Sunday before the big Week Eight showdown with their standings attic rivals. The loss doesn’t do much harm to Yellow who now find themselves at 3-3-0, but a loss to Grey this Sunday would put them in some potential peril rolling into their final two games.

The Week Six middle game was not just the ‘Battle Of Cocktail Garnishes’, but a marquee matchup of unbeaten teams. While Olive’s blistering early season scoring pace had slowed to trickle mode over the previous three games, they were still finding ways to get the job done. Captain Geoff Downes’ ‘Little Cherry Seinfeld’ came in boasting no losses, half as many wins, but just three fewer goals-for than Captain Tyler Winstead & Company. By all ‘on paper’ logic, it was destined to be a very good game featuring to very good teams…and it was. Chris Tulio put Olive on top at 4:44 in the first (from Kyle Snyder), and Nick Vacchio doubled the lead early in the second (from Greg Wirth). You’re usually lucky to manage two goals against Silas Perks, and that is indeed all that Olive would manage, but Don Tran came in riding a FULL THREE GAME SHUT OUT STREAK (!), and any ideas Red had of avenging Perks was going to have to go through him. Kevin Dinino finally did snap that streak, which, at 106 minutes and 21 seconds may well be in contention for the longest in league history. Christopher Fiore and Mark Ennsmann had the assists on the Dinino marker, but it would be the only blemish on Tran’s night, as his 19/20 was good enough to give Olive their fifth win of the season, 2-1 over Red. Perks (14/16) and his Red mates absorbed their first loss of the season, but remain very much in a safe space in the standings at 2-1-3. Olive will look to embellish their already impressive record this Sunday against a rather woeful (but still playoff hopeful) Orange, but their calendars are definitely circled for a Week Eight battle with the tied-for-tops Teal. Red may or may not need another point or two to ensure a playoff berth, but with Perks in nets, and (hopefully) a healthy Jon Salt in the lineup (he was out again for this one), they will have no trouble holding their place in the playoff pool.

The term ‘must win’ is often inaccurate, and absolutely overused in sports…and while the Week Six game between Orange and Black was not a MUST win for either side, it was certainly close to it. It was a particularly crucial game for Captain Josh Tran’s Orange, who came in nursing an 0-4-1 record, and running out of games to make up ground on the teams (all nine teams) ahead of them in the standings. Captain Ian Crooks’ Black brought more points, but hardly much more standings stability to the table at 0-2-3. A win for Orange would put them back in the thick of the playoff hunt, and actually move them out of rock bottom for the first time. A win for Black would not only bury Orange, but would give them five points, and put them above the cut line, and in position to shore up a playoff seed with three weeks to play. Mark Nagy gave Black the lead just 1:08 into the first (from Mark DeGraffenreid and Gary Peters), but Jackson Tomaszewski responded less than a minute and a half later. DeGraffenreid wrested the lead back for Black later in the period (from Nagy and Steve Linke), but Captain Josh Tran banged home a delicious centering feed from Pat Gladstone to leave the score knotted at twos through one. Andrew Jacobsen threw a gentle lob towards net from distance that somehow made its way home at 9:21 in the second, and Andy Strathman followed at 7:13 (from Gladstone…so hot right now, Gladstone) to build a 4-2 lead for Orange. Black would find no more cracks in super sub Nick Vacchio’s pads, as he stopped 11/13 to give his surrogate team a crucial win. Tomaszewski would deposit an empty-netter with 1:27 to play (with Jacobsen collecting the most shameful of points…an empty-netter assist), bringing the final score to 5-2, boosting Orange out of their season-long hole, and driving a stake through an already half-beating Black heart. Black is still alive in the playoff hunt, and Orange is by no stretch of any imagination out of the woods yet, but that ‘must win’ mentality is vital for both teams going into the final third of the season. In a crazy twist of fate, both teams have exactly the same three remaining opponents…Olive, Grey, and White. Whichever team fares better against that trio, but particularly against White, will have the best chance of keeping hockey Sundays on the calendar into September.

The nightcap was another big game for another pair of teams that have struggled to succeed so far this season. Captain Sev Brown’s Purple entered at 1-3-1, with that one win coming against whipping boy, Orange. Captain Sean Bathgate’s team entered with an identical record, and an identical design to change the course of their season by winning a game against a standings neighbor. The energy and intensity was swirling from start to finish in this one…easily one of the best games I have witnessed all season. Luke Wolmer was the player of the game, and indeed the player of the week, and he struck first for Purple at 3:44 in the first (from Erin Plone and Zach Salt). The second period saw White rise up to even the score, then take the lead, as Chris Malki (from Emily Bennington and Joe Malki) and Jordan Pynn (from Joe Malki and Chris Malki) struck within about a minute of each other to give their team a one goal edge heading into the third. To quote Sublime, ‘that’s-when-things-got-out-of-con-trol’, with Wolmer evening the score with his second of the game at 8:05 (from Sev Brown and Jason Northrup), Ty Pereira giving Purple a 3-2 lead minutes later (from Salt), and Wolmer padding that lead to two just sixteen clicks after the Pereira strike. White would rally, though, with an unassisted Joe Malki marker making it 4-3 at 3:34, and Pynn’s second of the night bringing things all the way back level at 2:51 (from the Malkis). Purple would have the last laugh in this one, however, as Pereira potted his second of the period with just 0:42 remaining (from Salt and Wolmer) to stun White, and send them home with another tough loss around their necks, 5-4. Nick Meglich (11/16) did his best under what seemed like constant siege, but the wacky, wild, Kool-Aid style win went to Chuck Bender (22/26) in a fill-in role for Syd Costello (who…get this…’thought it was Saturday’, according to her captain, who was left scrambling to find a goalie sub after a frantic game time phone call). Much like Orange and Black, both of these teams will need at least a decent showing in their final three to lock in a playoff spot. Purple now has five points, head to head wins against both Orange and White, and reasonably challenging, but not too crazy remaining schedule (Red, Yellow, Blue). White’s next two are against Black and Orange, and they will absolutely need to win at least one of those, since their final opponent of the season is…Teal.

Two teams with two points apiece looked to double that number and skate out of cut line real estate in Week Five, with Captain Rob Gaudio’s Blue facing Captain Sean Bathgate’s White. A win for either team would work wonders, while a loss would leave the loser limp, and very much in limbo heading into the final four weeks of play. Emily Bennington got White off on the right foot with her second of the season at 6:32 (from Brandon Olsen and Ramsey Ksar), but Shawna Hamon fought female fire with female fire to even the score at ones at 2:10 (from Josh Wirt). Nick Meglich (19/20) kept Blue off the board the rest of the way, and Chris Tran (14/15) matched his macho at the other end to preserve the 1-1 tie, and send both teams home with luke warm fuzzies. With just one win between these teams in ten tries (fittingly, White does have the lone ‘W’), both teams must hunker down and bunker in for a second half fight for survival. Orange remains in dead last with just one point, but Blue and White join Black and Purple in the ‘danger zone’ just north of that nadir. This pack of playoff hopefuls will (barring more ties) begin to break up this Sunday, as White faced fellow 1-3-1’ers, Purple, and Blue looks to topple a 2-1-2 Grey.

Speak of the Grey, and the Grey shall appear. Well…Grey’s defense, anyway. Both Captain Zach Siemer’s side and Captain Tyler Winstead’s crew found their scoring punch somewhere in the picket lines with the Hollywood writers, while Don Tran (20/20) and Matt Henderson (13/13) flexed their star power in a 0-0 draw that had World Cup fans drooling. The result is actually something of a coup for Grey, as they can now boast that they are the only team to avoid a loss against Olive…a team that has (for whatever reason) downshifted from ‘high octane offense’ in Weeks One & Two (seventeen goals) to ‘narrowly enough neutral’ (three goals total in three games since). The point does keep Olive perched at the pinnacle, tied with Teal at 4-0-1, in spite of their recent scoring anemia (the fewest goals of any team in the last three weeks, by far). One could (and I would) make the argument that this makes Olive even scarier…they can coast, yet still conquer. Grey are now safely tucked in the middle of the pack at 2-1-2, with three of their remaining four opponents (Orange, Black, and Blue) currently sitting on ZERO combined wins in fifteen tries. Nothing is ever truly a ‘lock’ in sports, but…Grey is a lock for locking down a healthy playoff position come September…

Captain Josh Tran’s Orange were hoping for a reversal of fortune in Week Five, after the futility in their first four forays were featured on the front page of this fine publication. The gist of last week’s recap was that (perhaps) a good chunk of the woes for ‘Pulp Can Move, Baby!’ were at least in some part (and perhaps, significantly) due to an AWOL Matt Gottfried. Matt was (finally) back in Week Five, but unfortunately for Orange, they once again found themselves pulp free against fruit circuit rivals, ‘Little Cherry Seinfeld’. Kevin Dinino shoveled home his third of the season (from Matt Rogers) to stake Red to a 1-0 lead through one, a solo Jon Salt strike in the second built the lead to two, and a second from Salt (from Captain Geoff Downes and Mark Ennsmann) and a Downes empty-netter (from Ennsmann) were the beats of the scoring drum in Red’s 4-0 win over Orange. Jimm Reifsnyder (19/22) and Silas Perks (22/22) were equally tested (at least in quantity), but Perks is peaking again (.975/0.50/2 SO), and could very well be shouldering another strong contender as we close in on the second season. For Orange, it is very much officially ‘do or die’ time. As poorly as their season has gone, a Week Six win over a very beatable Black would have ‘Pulp’ right back in the playoff mix, and (finally) out of the citrus cellar. Week Six is proving ground time for Red, as they take on top dogs, Olive. A win would push them into at least a share of the top spot, and serve as a ‘statement’ that these ‘cherries’ belong on top.

Another week, another dose of bleak for Captain Ian Crooks’ Black. After opening the season with a 5-1 loss to Teal, Crooks’ & Company tallied a trio of ties (a heartbreaking 0:07 remaining non-win against Blue, an uplifting 0:04 comeback coup against Red, and a standard issue 3-3 stalemate with Purple). So, never enough to punch through to the win column, but slow and steady one point plodding. Black would snap that three game tie streak in Week Five, but not in the way they had hoped. Brennan Abel put Yellow in front with an unassisted effort at 2:18 in the first, and Dan Jurgens responded for Black at 9:05 in the second (from Mark Nagy), only to have Abel restore the lead late in the second (from Scott Wieland and Arnold Gonzales). Nagy put Black back in that familiar, knotted position at 4:37 in the third (from Mark DeGraffenreid and Jurgens), but that knot slid into their stomachs as a VERY unfortunate turnover in their own zone turned into a VERY pretty finish for Marc Lapointe with 1:59 to play, and a 4-3 finish in favor of our cover team, Captain Carl Vankoughnett’s ‘Yellooow, Newman’. As noted in the front page image blurb, the win is the third straight for Yellow–the longest active streak in the league. That streak, and the overall Yellow mettle will be truly tested against Teal in Week Six. Black cannot live on ties alone, and they REALLY need to beat Orange this Sunday if they have any hope of surviving past Week Nine.

The ‘haves’ and ‘have nots’ are pretty well established by the midpoint in any SDFHL season, and the Week Five matchup between Teal (haves) and Purple (have nots) ended as you would ‘have’ expected. Captain Sev Brown’s ‘I’m An Eggplant’ had actually made a game of their last two games (a 6-5 win over Orange, and a 3-3 tie with Black), but those are two teams with no wins, and a combined point total barely better than half that of Teal’s seven points coming in. Oh, and the player responsible for five of the nine total goals in those prior two games for Purple, Zach Salt…not in the lineup, alas. So, not entirely surprising that Teal prevailed with relative ease in this one, 5-0, but Purple can definitely draw encouragement from a very strong outing from rookie netminder, Syd Costello (18/23). Costello was under duress from start to finish, but kept a severely outgunned Purple (ten shots for, more than double that against) in what should have been a lopsided game much longer than Teal might have hoped. A scoreless first saw Costello turn away eleven Teal tries, but David Schlatter finally found twine with 3:37 remaining in the second. It was Schlatter again with 0:23 in that same frame (from Chad Goins), and again to complete the hat trick at 7:33 in the third (from Vinny Santora and Captain Ryan Karns). John Boddy plumped the lead to 4-0 (from Schlatter and Joel Gattey), and Nadia Connolly netted the last straw (from Boddy and Karns) to round out the scoring and put the wraps on Teal’s fourth victory in five tries. Chuck Bender (10/10) recovered from his own team’s tough loss to complete a fine fill-in fling with no flaws, with the win keeping Teal in lock step with their big Week Eight opponent, Olive. Purple will need standard issue Salt, a stellar Syd, and a side of secondary scoring if they hope to put themselves on a winning track. Their Week Six showdown with 1-3-1 record twins, White, would be a good time to start their climb….a loss could spell the beginning of the end.

Our cover team this week is our cover team for all the wrong reasons, but a closer look at their first four games proves that they are really just getting squeezed (and not in a good way). Worse, it’s partially an inside job. Week One…a 2-2 with Blue (with no Strathman or Gottfried). Week Two…a 2-1 loss to front runners, Teal (no Gottfried). Week Three…a wild, last minute 6-5 loss to Purple (still no Gottfried). Captain Tran’s clan lined up in Week Four with no Jacobsen, no Tomaszewski, and…you’re catching on…no Gottfried. Matt sustained an ankle injury just before the season kicked off, but that ankle has been hamstringing Orange since, leaving them without their best defender, and one of their best all around players. Every team is going to have attendance dings, especially in the summer, but Orange will either need some good news from the Gottfried estate, or a replacement player ASAP if they hope to salvage this season. Yellow was without Marc Lapointe and Brennan Abel, but they still had plenty of firepower to find a win in this one. Mason LaGrossa cashed in his first career SDFHL goal at 5:12 in the first to make it 1-0, Yellow…CONGRATULATIONS! His proud papa served up the lone assist on a Scott Wieland strike a few minutes later to give Yellow a two goal edge heading into the second. Captain Josh Tran answered for his team very early in that middle stanza, kicking off a seesaw scoring streak that lasted just a few minutes….Vankoughnett unassisted…Strathman from Captain Tran….Wieland’s second from Vankoughnett and Jim LaGrossa…Andy Strathman from Justin Stege. If you’re scoring at home (which, why would you be…this has all already happened), that’s a 4-3 Yellow lead going to the third. Captain Carl gave his team some breathing room, then choked any remaining air out of Orange’s windpipe with the game-winner at 9:23 (from Jim LaGrossa), and the hat-trick-capping insurance tally at 8:51 (from Mason LaGrossa). Captain Tran represented the last gasp for Orange (from Pat Gladstone), but their was not enough time, energy, and scoring prowess in Orange’s ranks to draw any closer. Jon Cima (13/17) collected his second career win, keeping his team in it long enough for them to secure their second straight. The 6-4 result is the first Orange loss by more than one goal, but a loss is a loss, and this is their third in four tries. As noted in all of the preamble above, they will really need to find their winning juice soon, or die trying…

Captain Sev Brown’s Purple, and Captain Ian Crooks’ Black entered Week Four with two points each, and with teams piling up on top of them. It’s dog eat dog in the depths of the standings, and two hungry dogs made for a hard-fought, and very entertaining game (according to the capacity crowd of six…including refs and scorer). Captain Crooks got the ball rolling for his team late in the first with his second of the season, but Purple responded with three unanswered to take (what appeared to be) total control of the match. Fittingly, it was Captain Brown with the first response from Purple. With due respect to Sev, this was a quintessential ‘garbage goal’….but, they all count the same on the score sheet. Enter Zach Salt…who had flown in on a private jet to miss as little of this game as possible. Salt put Purple ahead with 0:45 remaining in the second (from Luke Wolmer and Erin Plone), then Plone tucked home one of her own on a nifty tic-tac-toe play from Trice Harvey to Salt to Plone to give Purple a 3-1 edge. Enter Tomáš Jankovic, who wove through traffic and delivered a sublime backhand back door pass to Rich Shane to cut the lead to one less than a minute after the Plone strike, but then tied the (scoring) knot from distance with a solo effort. That would be all the balls finding holes in Nick Meglich (21/24) and Chuck Bender (24/27) as both teams strove for two points, but settled for one a piece in the 3-3 tie. The result keeps both teams just north of the cut line, with Purple in a slightly better position with a tick in the win column. Both teams will need to find more in the tank in the second half if they expect to make the playoffs, let alone make playoff waves.

Meanwhile, just south of the cut line, Captain Sean Bathgate’s ‘Puffy White Shirts’ looked to even their record at 2-2-0, and move into a safer position in the standings with a leapfrog win over Grey. Grey proved too big a frog to leap on this day, but they were just a tad (pole) better in another great Week Four game. Chris Malki put the ‘Shirts’ on top at 9:16 in the first (from Will Heinl), and six minutes and six seconds ticked past before Kalen Hunter would respond for Grey. Emily Bennington wrested the lead back for White less than a minute later (from Brandon Olsen and Chris Malki), but the scoring seal was well and truly broken then, as Hunter brought Grey level again at 1:51 (from Dan Soar and Rob LaVigne), and LaVigne gave Grey their first lead at 1:03 (from Bao Nguyen). The second period was relatively quiet, but it started with that scoring spout still open, as Chris Malki cashed in the 3-3 equalizer at 8:58 (from Heinl, again). Captain Sean Bathgate’s first…*checking*…CAREER goal (CONGRATULATIONS!) at 9:27 in the third (from Malki and Heinl) started to look like it might also be his first game-winning goal, as the clock wound into the final minutes of play. It was Leah Gonzales who would rewrite that Hollywood ending at 3:12 (from Soar and Hunter), and it Janice Darlington (from Hunter and Soar) completing the one-two femme fatale knock out blow. The 5-4 loss was another tough result for an overworked and underrated Nick Meglich (20/25), and nothing more than a faux feather in Ian Crooks’ cap (10/14) in a fill-in role for Matt Henderson. Bathgate’s bunch will need to find the scoring punch they showed in a 7-4 win over Yellow in Week Two, or start hoping for some Meglich Magic™ to pull them out of their lower decks digs. Their faceoff with two point twins, Blue, is as big as a Week Five game gets on the playoff implication scale. The win moves Captain Zach Siemer’s Grey to 2-1-1, good enough for third place with five weeks to play.

Winning isn’t everything, but it’s all Captain Tyler Winstead’s Olive know how to do. After opening the season with two awe-inspiring wins (SEVENTEEN goals, people!), Week Three saw them shuffle quietly past White, 2-0. The scoring stayed in low gear, but the slow drive ended in the same small, seaside town…Winstead Winville. The ‘Girl Power’ spilled over from the last minutes of the middle game, as Wendy Enright broke a scoreless tie with her first of the season at 7:41 in the second. The lone assist on what would be the lone goal of the game came courtesy of Kyle Snyder. Snyder’s ridiculous scoring pace through the first two weeks of play has slowed to something approaching human. His eleven points (7 and 4) still have him sitting in second on the scoring charts, but the back to back shutouts posted by Don Tran (14/14) and his team seems a clear indication that his defensive contributions are at least as vital as his offensive prowess. The 1-0 loss was a tough one to swallow for Captain Rob Gaudio’s Blue, considering their precarious position in the standings, and considering that Olive’s one goal came on just nine shots. Chuck Bender (8/9) absorbed the loss in Chris Tran’s absence…one of THREE games Bender backstopped in Week Four! With the win, and the result in the late game (spoiler alert), Olive remain the only perfect team at 4-0-0. It will take a lot for them to miss the playoffs, and they are maybe one win away from convincing me that they are definitively the team to beat. Blue needs points…badly. A win over White this Sunday might be just the turning point they need. A loss to White, and it’s a different kind of turn, altogether…

Two of the three remaining undefeated teams in the league put that mark on the line with Captain Geoff Downes’ 1-0-2 Red taking on Captain Ryan Karns’ 2-0-1 Teal. What might have been billed as the battle of the heir apparent to the goalie throne (Silas Perks) versus the once and future king (Sean Kelly) was still a thriller with Don Tran in Perks’ place. It was Tran who would yield first, with John Boddy putting Teal in front at 1:40 in the first (from Captain Karns and Nadia Connolly). Captain Downes answered just nineteen seconds into the second (from Mark Ennsmann), but Alan Razoky responded with just four remaining in the middle third. David Schlatter solved Silas again at 9:25 in the third (from Joel Gattey and Vinny Santora), but as the old adage goes, and as the Black v Purple game earlier in the evening proves, ‘a two goal lead is the worst lead in hockey’. Christopher Fiore cut that lead to one just fifteen seconds later (from Ennsmann and Downes), but that one goal lead did not treat the leaders any better. Maureen Ruchhoeft capped what was apparently some sort of unofficial league ladies’ night, bringing Red back level with 1:52 to play (from Jon Salt and Kevin Dinino). In maybe the most bizarre bits on the score sheet for this one, Salt was booked for ‘elbowing’…a very rarely called infraction…called against a perennially PIM-less player. The 3-3 tie kept both teams lossless, and both comfortably in the top half of the league ladder. Sean Kelly (25/28) was certainly busier than Tran (15/18) in this one, but both were sharp and steady enough to see their respective teams (well, Tran’s foster team, to be accurate) through another undefeated week. Both teams will look to extend that streak against ‘lesser’ opponents, with Red taking on dead last Orange (0-3-1), and Teal tackling 1-2-1 Purple.

Previously on ‘The SDFHL’, Olive racked up seventeen goals in their first two games, and had the rest of the league wondering how long this ridiculous power surge would last. Short answer/spoiler alert…not long. Captain Tyler Winstead’s gang still found a way to put up numbers, but those numbers were ‘normal’, for once. Also ‘normal’…it was enough to give them a win, keeping them in an elite company of just two, in that regard (cover team, Teal, being the other). Nick Vacchio didn’t get the ‘normal’ memo in this one, building on his impressive early season numbers with his fifth of the season at 0:50 in the first (from a freshly-arrived Alexis DaCosta), and his sixth of the season at 3:54 in the third (from Chris Tullio). He now sits tied for second in goal scoring with Brennan Abel, just one back of his teammate, Kyle Snyder. That was it folks…two Vacchio tallies for Olive…nada, nada enchilada for White. Don Tran (22/22) served that enchilada cold, like his heart, and gunky…like his lungs (seriously, Don…see a doctor, bro), while Nick Meglich (8/10) was tossed to the loss lions in his team’s second scoreless sortie of the season. So, whether they bring the thunder sticks or the tweezers, Olive seems to have what it takes to make wins. White remain right in the thick of things in the middle of the standings in spite of the loss, and will look to even their record against one of only two teams with less goals scored this season, Grey.

The backstory for Captain Carl Vankoughnett’s ‘Yellooow, Newman’ coming into Week Three was ‘consistent/solid offense…bad results’. They fell 8-5 to Olive in their season opener, then 7-4 in the encore. So…maybe adding ‘not the strongest back end’ to that backstory…maybe actually highlight that. Week Three saw a preservation of the ‘consistent/solid offense’ aspect of Yellow’s game, and a reversal of the ‘not the strongest back end’ trend. Jim LaGrossa continued to savor a clutch comeback season, opening the scoring for Yellow with his third goal in as many games (from Scott Wieland), and closing the scoring with his fourth (and Yellow’s fourth of the game…this one from Brennan Abel). Shawna Hamon had evened the score for Blue after LaGrossa’s first (from Josh Wirt), but Abel gave Yellow the lead back for good with just 0:34 to play in the first. LaGrossa and Abel (in that order) set up Scott Wieland’s second period goal, and Jon Cima (10/11) held on for his first career SDFHL win, Yellow over Blue, 4-1…CONGRATULATIONS! Chris Tran (20/24) did his best to keep his team alive, but tensions ran at least as hot as the rink surface throughout the Blue ranks, in a rather flat showing in Captain Rob Gaudio’s absence.

Two teams with equal, but opposite early season histories met in the middle game, with Captain Geoff Downe’s 1-0-1 Red meeting Captain Ian Crooks’ 0-1-1 Black. Red blistered through their Week One opponent 8-0, then survived a meeting with Grey without a loss, in spite of the absence of the bulk of their scoring trust. Black has made an early season habit of failing to capitalize on an opponent’s AWOL awesomeness, losing 5-1 to a Schlatter-less Teal in Week One, then blowing a late lead against a Josh-Wirt-and-Chris-Tran-free Blue in Week Two. Surely Crooks & Company could capitalize on a Red rendezvous sans Justin Ker and Jon Salt…right…maybe…no. Black did play well, with Janine Ulloa and Erin Plone filling in quite capably for Steph Palomo Schmidt and Sadie Hellstrom, and a hot and surly Chris Tran stepping in for Chuck Bender, but Silas Perks was (once again, for the umpteenth time in his career) the great equalizer. Captain Geoff Downes put Red on the board midway through the first with a very slick, swooping, stick-handling dance through Black’s zone, finishing with a chef’s kiss of a backhand past Tran (from Mark Ennsmann and Kevin Dinino). The game wore on from there with Black carrying most of the attack, but finding nothing to show for it. Tran (10/11) held serve, and held his foster team in it to the very end, which, mercifully for Black, was a death bed redemption courtesy of Dan Jurgens. With Tran on the bench for an extra attacker, Jurgens finally solved Perks with just four ticks left on the clock, rifling a seeing-eye shot from distance over an outstretched left pad. It was the only blemish on the day for Perks (27/28), and the only damage dealt by Black, but it was enough just enough in just enough time to produce a 1-1 tie. Red remain undefeated through three weeks, in spite of significant super star attendance issues. Black have yet to win a game, and cannot fall on the same excuse as a crutch…they will just need to be much better the rest of the way, or they will not survive to see the second season.

This season has been so strange…just a lot of bizarre, bloated scores, with boat race blowouts and score-keeper-wrist-cramp-inducing slugfests, sprinkled in amongst ‘normal’, close, low scoring contests. Orange v Purple fell squarely in the ‘score-keeper-wrist-cramp-inducing’ category, with the eleven goals between the two teams matching the total from all eight other teams in four other games on the night. Hima ‘Muthafuckin” Joshi opened the scoring for Orange with her second in consecutive games (from Andrew Jacobsen and Justin Stege), but Ty Pereira answered for Purple less than a minute later (from Zach Salt). The Orange floodgates opened at that point, as the next three goals in Orange’s offensive outburst (which, impressively, featured five different goal-scorers) rattled past in a two minute span. Andy Strathman from Jackson Tomaszewski and Justin Stege at 5:21, Jacobsen from Stege and Jeremy Copp at 4:13, and Captain Josh Tran from Jacobsen and Joshi at 3:21. Just like that…4-1 Orange take a commanding lead into the sec…wait…Zach Salt responds with 0:16 to play in the first to cut the lead to 4-2 (from Jason Northrup). Then…sixteen seconds of scoreless hockey to wrap the period (miracles). Salt would continue, then complete the Purple comeback in the second, with his second of the night at 9:20 (from Pereira), and a solo job at 4:29. Just like that, a 4-4 game going into the third. Trice Harvey continued his impressive sophomore campaign with his second of the season at 8:26 in the final period (although, some observers report that he may well get a SHOE deal out of this particular ‘goal’…if you follow), and that 5-4 edge would hold for Purple into the final minutes of play. Tomaszewski (from Jacobsen) awakened Orange from their twenty minute offensive nap at 1:38, knotting the game at 5-5, and sending everyone home with one poi…nope…another late goal, the FOURTH of the game for Salt (this one from Mark Scelfo), and the (*triple checking the sheet*) game-winner for Purple in a weird and winding first win for Captain Sev Brown’s side, 6-5 over Orange. Jimm Reifsnyder (12/18) slid back in the goalie stat stack with the ice cold six pack of GA Lager, while Ian Crooks (24/29) tasted victory for the first time this season, although (sadly) not with his own team. Honestly, whatever the outcome, neither of these teams looks like a real Cup contender at this point. Still, better to be in Purple’s position at 1-2-0, than Orange’s 0-2-1. There is only one way to go for Captain Josh Tran’s clan, and that is up. Well, if ‘stay right where you are in dead last’ is a direction, then…then there is that direction, as well.

Last, but ironically first (in the standings), Teal…our cover team (I mean, barely ‘cover’ team…*giggity*). Captain Kar…Sorry…we interrupt this recap with a word from our sponsor…

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OK…that was a first, but…we have to keep the lights on somehow. As eerie coincidence (if that is your real name…ALEXA) would have it, that commercial also ties directly into the remainder of this recap! Captain Karns’ led by example, and led off the scoring for Teal midway through the first (from Vinny Santora and John Boddy). Earlier in the period, Ryan TOOK A PENATLY FOR TRIPPING. He wanted to make sure I mentioned that, and we have to keep our advertisers happy here. Santora plumped the lead to 2-0 in the second (from Captain Karns), and that would be all the scoring for either side in this one. It would not, however, be all of the PIMs, as Karns WAS BOOKED FOR INTERFERENCE IN THE THIRD (again, just paying bills here, people). Sean Kelly’s return to de facto Head Ninja Goalie, and VP Of Humane Decapitation has been swift, but not at all shocking. His 17/17 shutout in this 2-0 win over Grey has his numbers at 3-0-0/.970/0.67/1 SO…the sheriff is back, and the sale of ‘Make Da Kid Great Again’ hats are now on back order. Teal looks primed and pumped to preserve their pole position through the remaining two thirds of the season, but as good as they have been, Olive is still right there with them. Tickets to the Week Eight matchup between these two titans are now fetching as much as $3500 in the secondary market. The jury is still out on whether or not Captain Zach Siemer’s Grey are contenders or pretenders. With a sample platter record through three weeks of play (1-1-1), and five of their league low six goals scored coming in a Week One thrashing of a power-compromised Purple, they will definitely need Kalen Hunter to find his tights and cape, posthaste…

Captain Carl Vankoughnett’s ‘Yellooow, Newman’ were the Week One victims of our clobbersaurus cover team, falling 8-5 in what was clearly a tight, defensive struggle. The brightly-clad clan looked to flip the script in Week Two, and maybe hold their opponent to less than an octo-spot. The good news for Yellow…they did manage just that. The bad news…they did manage JUST that. This game was wildly entertaining, and precisely-patterned through most of the first two periods of play. Joe Malki opened the scoring for White (from Mostafa Azab)…Jim LaGrossa responded for Yellow (from Elyse Shattuck and Marc Lapointe). Jordan Pynn for White (from Chris and Joe Malki)…Brennan Abel for Yellow. Papa Malki starts the second period scoring (Lil’ Malki and Emily Bennington)…Scott Wieland brings things back level (LaGrossa and Vankoughnett). Chris Malki again on the power play (Malki and Azab)…Captain Carl with the answer (Brennan and LaGrossa). It was here that the pattern petered out, with White opening a three goal edge with a trio of late second period strikes…Will Heinl at 1:26, Joe Malki at 0:36, and Chris Malki at 0:04 (from Pynn). Then, just as steady as the two period scoring spate had had been, the nets ran dry in the third, leaving White on the winning end of a 7-4 final. So…less than eight goals allowed, but barely, and now FIFTEEN goals allowed in two tries for Yellow and Jon Cima (15/22), who’s first foray into the league has been a falter, thus far. Nick Meglich (24/28) was busier and better at the other end, helping to even his team’s record after their own inauspicious debut (an 8-0 loss to Red). Joe Malki captured POTW honors with a 2 and 3 sparkler, and combined with his dear old dad for 5 and 4 in the impressive bounce back win.

Big numbers and blowouts are already proving commonplace this season, but the Orange v Teal matchup brought us back to a simpler time when Linke was under 60, and the SDFHL draft produced profound parity. Orange was a part of the only such close contest in Week One (a 2-2 tie with Blue), and they continued their trend of tight tilts in Week Two. John Boddy picked up where he left off in a POTW Week One effort (a 5-1 win over Black), putting the first mark on the score sheet with his fourth of the season at 3:11 in the first. David Schlatter followed with his first of the season (he missed Week One with an injury), and Teal carried a 2-0 lead out of the first on the strength of two solo efforts from their super stars. We’ve established that Orange likes a close game, and Hima Joshi cut the lead to one with (by all accounts) a sweet second period slicer past Sean Kelly (from Mike Chiaco and Captain Josh Tran). Joshi is good for about a goal a season, and this one not only looked pretty, but looked to be perfectly timed to prime an Orange comeback charge. Nope…that would be the only offensive juice for ‘Pulp Can Move, Baby!’, as Kelly (21/22) and company shut the door and sealed the 2-1 win to remain perfect at 2-0-0. Jimm Reifnsyder (19/21) remains quite impressive in his big return to league play, ranking just behind big boys Perks and Kelly amongst goalies through two weeks of play.

The proceedings remained plump with parity in the middle match, as two 1-0-0 teams looked to start the season off with a pluses in the win column. Red was hot off an 8-0 thrashing of White, while Grey was pumped after a 5-2 punking of Purple. The hot hands cooled significantly in this one, with even the shot totals meager for both sides. Still, it’s not always about quantity, but quality, and both Matt Henderson (6/7) and Silas Perks (13/14) made the saves they needed to make to keep either side from prevailing in what was ultimately a 1-1 stalemate. Kevin Dinino put Red on the board early in the first (from Mark Ennsmann), and Rob LaVigne struck back for Grey late in the frame (from Bao Nguyen). That’s all she wrote…two goals for two teams who combined for thirteen in their opener. If you’re looking for the obvious explanation for the offensive offset, it’s worth noting that Jon Salt (5 and 3 in Week One) was out for Red, while Kalen Hunter (2 an 0 in Week One) was out for Grey. That’s the typical summer story…absences make the wins grow founder. Sometimes, managing a tie (or better) with your stars on the shelf is what separates contenders from pretenders…

Leave it to our Week Two cover team to bring back the bludgeoning. Olive can now boast back-to-back monster mashes after serving the other nine teams in the league with a second helping of shock and awe. There is actually too much scoring in this one to recap in a traditional manner, so…Kyle Snyder with one goal in each period and a helper on Chris Tullio’s second of the night…Tullio with a hat trick of his own with two in the first and one in the second…Alexis DaCosta with the game-winner and a powerplay insurance marker in the first to go with two assists…Nick Vacchio with one and one…Craig Russell with three apples…and both Wendy Enright and Captain Tyler Winstead making the sheet with a helper apiece. That was just the Olive scoring…nine goals scored, on the heals of scoring eight in their opener…gross. Purple had very little punch back, but did manage to solve Don Tran (8/10) early in the second (Captain Sev Brown from Erin Plone and Trice Harvey), and very late in the third (Mark Scelfo from Harvey). Tran collected his second win of the season in the 9-2 romp, and it would be hard not to, with the ostentatious offensive output in front of him. Syd Costello (14/23) continued her early SDFHL career struggles, now straddled with a 7.00 GAA through her first two games. While it’s extremely unlikely that Olive can maintain this torrid scoring pace, all eyes will be on their Week Three meeting with White (who are hoping Meglich eats an extra helping of Wheaties Sunday morning). Purple’s poor start has them sharing a basement bed with Yellow at 0-2-0. They will need to squeeze past Orange this week, or find themselves in a hole that is too deep for comfort.

The nightcap was whacky, wild, Koolaid style, with a rather sloppy slosh ending in a shocking 4-4 wash. Sadie Hellstrom’s first of the season broke a scoreless standoff at 5:28 in the second (from Mark DeGraffenreid and Dan Jurgens), and DeGraffenreid built the lead to two with a crazy double deflection deposit just thirteen ticks later (Hellstrom and Mark Nagy). Shawna Hamon converted a Rob Gaudio pass into pay dirt to cut the lead in half and set up a tight, tense third. Jurgens’ first of the night had Black breathing easy early in the final frame (DeGraffenreid and Nagy) and his second of the night had Black exhaling after strikes from Tim Hamon (John Gamm) and Rob Gaudio (Tim Hamon) had brought Blue all the way back to even at 3-3. The 4-3 edge looked a lock to hold with the seconds ticking past and Syd Costello out of the net for an extra attacker for her surrogate side. Every second counts, and Janine Ulloa made her chance count (from Gaudio)…batting home a bouncing ball to complete a furious final push from Blue to stave off a loss and produce their second tie in two tries. The lone point is as bitter for Black as it is sweet for Blue, as Captain Ian Crooks’s Crew now find themselves sitting just above the cut line at 0-1-1. Of course, it’s way too early to really consider the cut line crucial, but wasting a win with seconds to play is proven to be playing with fire, no matter when in the season it falls.