I’m really sorry, gang, I am completely out of time and energy for recaps this week. Here are the short and sweet recaps:

Nick Vacchio continued his torrid summer campaign with a goal in the first and a second in the second, but Zach Salt and Luke Wolmer scored less than a minute apart in the latter half of the third, and Salt cashed in the game-winner just :32 into OT to complete the comeback coup and send Captain Tyler Winstead’s Olive to the elimination bin, 3-2.

Knocking off the two seed was stunning enough, but Purple would not rest on their lofty laurels against top-seeded Teal. It was POTW Zach Salt again to give Purple a 1-0 lead late in the first, and (incredibly enough) that was ALL of the scoring in this one. Chris Tran (17/17) was a fill-in phenom, recording the shutout, and outdueling Sean Kelly (17/18) to make the 1-0 lead the final score and send the Cinderalla six seeds on to a date with Red in the Summer League Final.

You had to know that Captain Tyler Winstead’s Olive was going be a race car in the red in Week Three, after being (Salt) shaken off in a 4-3 OT loss to (aptly-colored) rival Red the week prior. Captain Carl Vankoughnett’s Yellow served as the first curve in Olive’s road to redemption, and the second seed took that curve at high speed, and handled like a dream. Wendy Enright (from Chris Tullio and Greg Wirth) hit the ignition for Olive at 9:22, but Mason LaGrossa brake checked matters with a solo effort three minutes later. Captain Winstead wrested the lead back for his crew on the power play (Vacchio) at 1:26, and Kyle Snyder cashed in at 0:50 to give the favorites a 3-1 lead coming out of the first. It was Snyder again on the power play late in the second to build the lead to three (from Enright), before Captain Carl cashed in at 0:23 to make it 4-2 through two. That would be the last ball past super sub Chris Tran (28/30), who did his long lost cousin, Don, proud and kept the road paved for more fast and furious Olive action in the third. Nick Vacchio continued his monster Summer 2023 campaign with his first of the playoffs at 7:21 (Snyder), and Craig Russell dissolved any remaining thread of Yellow hope with an empty-netter at 1:04 (Tullio and Winstead) to cap the 6-2 win for Olive, and send Yellow to the playoff pits. Captain Winstead’s crew must now complete a daring drive through both Purple and Teal to keep their checkered flag dreams in gear.

Captain Karns’ Teal lost just once in the regular season (a Week Nine WTF shocker to White), but a bounce back win over Olive to clinch the top seed, and a successful pair of playoff outings since had them on the verge of taking what seemed like their rightful and destined spot as the sitting team in the Summer League 2023 Final. While Teal’s roster is obviously (over) loaded, attendance has been a bit of a hitch, and the absence of Alan Razoky and John Boddy was definitely cause for concern coming into a match with a fully-staffed and steadily stout Red. Captain Geoff Downes’ had to feel good about his team’s chance of an upset, especially while taking warmups on his goalie, Silas ‘The Silencer’ Perks. If Sean Kelly (in nets at the other end) is the SDFHL goaltending GOAT, Perks is almost certainly the GOAT-to-be, having absolutely dominated in his short SDFHL span, including a .959/0.86/3 SO regular season line over the summer months. Something had to give in this titanic tilt, and Jon Salt gave his team a 1-0 lead at 5:19 in the first (from Captain Downes). Maureen Ruchhoeft doubled the lead later in the period (Salt and Justin Ker), and a 2-0 lead is typically a death sentence when facing The Silencer. A scoreless second bled into a scoreless third, as Perks did indeed punctuate that death sentence with a 21/21 shutout effort. Kelly was stellar (27/29) in his own right, allowing only the first period strikes, but you can’t win if you can’t score, and Red did all of the scoring in a tight 2-0 win for the three seed to send them on to the Final. Teal are now down, but they are far from out. Karns’ & Kompany will await the (tired and sweaty) winner of Olive v Purple, and they will be fully focused on bringing their flight to the Final to fruition, with the lure of revenge over Red providing any extra motivation they may need.

The Week Three slate shifted smoothly from blowout, to overtime thriller, to (spoiler alert) scintillating shootout showdown, as the lowest two remaining seeds sought to stave off elimination and get glass slipper shopping in earnest. Captain Sev Brown’s sixth-seeded side survived an upstart White in Week Two, after suffering a Salty loss to Red in Week One. Captain Zach Siemer’s Grey wiggled a win out of wild one with Yellow in their opener, then succumbed in the shootout after a nil-nil nothing burger run of play against Teal. With Syd Costello in her customary ‘anywhere but in nets for my SDFHL team’ position, it would be up to super sub Chris Tran, Zach ‘The Other’ Salt, and…perhaps a surprise hero(ine) to carry the day for Purple. Grey’s bench was nearly completely bare, with Bao Nguyen, Payam Sazegar, Tom Darlington, and Eric Willard all MIA, but where there’s a Kalen Hunter, there’s a way (as they old saying goes). Lo and behold, it was Hunter exerting his will, and leading the way for Grey at 6:27 in the first (from Dan Soar and Captain Siemer). Zach Salt would respond for Purple at 3:38 (from Ty Pereira), leaving things as tied as they were at the start going into the second. Captain Brown continued his incredible playoff scoring pace with his third of the postseason to give Purple a 2-1 lead at 3:08 in the second (from Salt), and the underdogs held that one goal upper hand into the third. First year standout, Dan Soar, evened the score at two apiece at 5:57 in the third, and neither Tran (17/19) nor the considerably-less-tested Matt Henderson (7/9) would allow anything more through regulation and overtime. On to the shootout, where a fourth round lamp-lighter from Rob LaVigne looked to have things signed and sealed for Grey. Enter Erin Plone, the afore-alluded-to Purple heroine. Plone was feeling it…to to the point where she reportedly called her shot to teammates before strutting to the line, striding in, and ripping the game-saving strike past Henderson! Janice Darlington channeled her AWOL husband, Tom, failing to match Plone’s effort to ice it for Grey, and Salt would not miss his second attempt in a sudden death sixth round. Captain Siemer had one last chance to keep his team alive, but Tran was equal to the task, and Purple (once again) found a way to prevail, this time in a 3-2 shootout scrape past Grey to move on to Week Four. Captain Brown’s brood face a near impossible double dare this Sunday, facing the top two regular season teams in a back-to-back gauntlet that will take everything they have and more to survive…

The bottom seed in any playoff picture is expected to have an uphill battle just to survive an early exit, let alone make any real progress down the path to the promised (to someone else) land. That hill becomes a sheer, icy cliff when you remove the team’s biggest offensive weapon for the first two games of a double-elimination tournament. Captain Rob Gaudio’s gang fought valiantly in their playoff opener against top-seeded Teal, in spite of the absence of said scoring stalwart, Josh Wirt, but Teal’s weapons abound, and John Boddy ho-hummed a hat trick to bounce Blue to the the edge of elimination. Captain Carl Vankoughnett’s crew fell 3-2 in a fun and frantic first game, with #5 Grey producing the lone Week One upset to put Yellow in the same leaky boat as their Week Two opponent. With Wirt once again out of the lineup for Blue, and Yellow benefiting from a fairly sizeable upgrade in nets, it looked like the higher seed would be rowing on to higher seas with relative ease. Jim LaGrossa put the favorites in front late in the first (from Brennan Abel), Captain Carl doubled the lead early in the second (from Elyse Shattuck), and Abel made it 3-0 Yellow early in the third (Arnold Gonzales). All hope seemed lost for Blue, who were heavily outshot and outplayed throughout, but Captain Rob was not going down without a fight. He broke the shutout at 7:49 in the third (from Bryan Ossa), then cut the lead to one at 6:17 (Tim Hamon) to give Blue more than a glimmer of hope with ample time on the clock. Alas, Nick Meglich (7/9) did not see much from there out in his fill-in stint for Jon Cima, and Chris Tran (25/28) was too busy being bundled in goalie gear and saving sizzling shots to score a tying goal for his side (slacker). Captain Carl ultimately iced this one with an empty netter (Abel), capping a 4-2 win for his side, and popping a cap in Blue’s playoff ass in the process. Yellow must now gear up to face their first higher-seeded opponent, the highly-motivated and high-octane Olive. The regular season matchup between these two was way back in Week One, and…well…a lot of goals were scored. Olive prevailed 8-5 back in late June, but this is early October, and months matter…(I have no idea what that means…just sounded cool, I guess).

Isn’t it just the way with life…you scratch and bite and scrape and scrimp to make it, and just when you’re walking through that door to your goal…SLAM! I mean, my recent SDFHL life has been more like standing shivering in the freezing cold, looking through a frosted window at playoff teams feasting and singing happy songs around the fire, but…I digress. Captain Sean Bathgate’s ‘Puffy White Shirts’ are the ones in the door metaphor…rising from the dead (1-5-1 with two games to go) to pull off back-to-back must-wins and make the playoffs as the seven seed. SLAM…a 5-2 opening loss to powerhouse Olive…but the door to the Cup lay still slightly ajar as they regrouped to face partners in parity, Purple. The two met in one of the wildest, most entertaining games of the season in Week Six, with a last minute Ty Pereira strike putting Purple over the top, 5-4. Captain Sev Brown’s ‘I’m An Eggplant’ experienced a more subtle, polite door closing in their opener, with Red’s Jon prevailing over Purple’s Zach 3-2 in another installment of The Salt Shaker™. So…one door…two teams…both hoping to be the slammer and not the slammee. Captain Sev Brown grabbed the knob first (TWSS) at 8:50 in the first (from Trice Harvey and Erin Plone), both teams were jambed up from their until the latter half of the third. That’s when Captain Brown struck again (Pone and Zach Salt), “a sweet backhand by Sev on a ball that found him by himself in front, top shelf over the glove” (so says my secret on-site source) to give his team a 2-0 lead and really ready the slamming hand with time running down. Chris Tran (13/13) did the other half of the slamming honors, exorcising his Blue demons in a sub shift for the ever AWOL Syd Costello, and helping Purple to a 2-0 elimination win over White. Captain Bathgate & Company…you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is…never try. When one door slams, another swings open, and Purple will hope to pilot through another portal and avenge a 5-2 Week One regular season loss to Grey this Sunday.

Week Two of the playoffs typically features at least one heavyweight matchup…and this was it. Two of the top regular season teams…tons of scoring and playmaking on both sides…two outstanding goalies…this was THE game to see. As mammoth as this matchup was, and as much as it looked to meet or exceed the on-paper hype, I’m honestly a bit weary of typing up these recaps this season, especially after another clunker campaign for my team. So…I am going to lean on the words of my secret on-site source to tell the tale of Red v Olive. Maureen Ruchhoeft (from Captain Geoff Downes) put Red in front bright and early at 8:36 with “a put-back off a rebound, after she just missed moments earlier with a wrister”. Greg Wirth (from Alexis DaCosta and Wendy Enright) equalized for the two seeds less than a minute later, with our reporter, well, reporting “I thought the second goal was Alexis, so I was surprised to see Wirth here, but…this was a wild and lengthy scramble around the net that he eventually poked in”. Mark Ennsmann opened the scoring in the middle period on “a breakaway…looked like he went five hole” (from Captain Downes). Kyle Snyder knotted things at twos later in the second (from Wirth), with a “goal that was like most…he burst by the defense, cut in to goal front, and put it by Silas”. “Alexis’ goal (from Captain Tyler Winstead and Chris Tullio) was from in close after a failed clearance. It looked like it was deflected off the defender’s stick and over Silas’ shoulder” to give Olive their first lead, 3-2. Enter, Jon Salt. “His first goal was a quick shot from inside the yellow, dead middle after a turnover at the red line by Olive while trying to carry the ball out of their zone. He beat Matt low to the stick side” to tie this thriller at three apiece with 3:18 to play. Both Matt Henderson, (20/24) in a fine fill in foray for Don Tran, and Silas Perks (17/20) kept the balls at bay through the remainder of regulation when…re-enter, Jon Salt: “His OT goal was a failed sky ball clear by Olive, dished to Salt who had a tough angle on the right side (about at the top outside of the faceoff circle) and looked like a wrister high past the glove”…that’s the game…4-3 Red in an overtime thriller that was all it was cracked up to be. I always love hearing that a great game featured great sportsmanship, and our reporter confirms that this one was a “very even game…clean…back and forth”. Both teams remain alive in the playoff picture with Red looking to punch their ticket to the final Sunday in a showdown with top bananas, Teal, and Olive hoping to stay alive and un-alive Yellow in their first Losers’ Bracket battle.

Captain Ryan Karns’ Teal may well be one of the biggest ’embarrassment of riches’ rosters the league has ever seen. Legendary, shutdown goalie…check. Ridonkulously swift and skilled strikers…double check. Gritty veteran defense with a Calgarian cannon ready and aimed…check. Great supporting cast…check. Captain Zach Siemer’s Grey is no sack of potatoes, either, so you figured your ticket price to this one would pay off in at least a few highlight reel goals and high fives….NOPE. It was a goalie duel from ball drop to final tick tock, with Sean Kelly (26/26) doing (surprisingly) more than twice the work at his end through regulation and overtime. Perfect is perfect, though, and Matt Henderson was half as harried, but equally flawless, stopping 12/12 to force the first shootout scenario of the Summer League 2023 playoffs. In spite of the lack of scoring, it all sounds like a great game to me. Our reporter disagrees, calling it a ‘snoozefest’, and sputtering out a few brief chunks of color such as “Grey had the most shots, but most were of the easy-to-stop variety. Sean did make some really nice saves during scrambles near the net, though”, and “Schlatter hit two pipes during regulation…it was mostly him going one on three, and he was pretty good at it, to be honest…but Grey’s defense was strong.” Whatever the opinion of the level of play through regulation and overtime, it was on to the shootout, where “Alan’s goal was low stick side corner” and “Janet’s clincher I completely missed! (though, there was a recording by Nadia)”. Really, secret reporter…you missed the best part? I’ll see if I can get that footage to share with you all, but I can confirm that Alan Razoky and Janet Goins were the only two scorers in the shootout, which meant that Teal prevailed 1-0 to advance to the Winners’ Bracket finals on the unbreakable back of POTW honoree, Sean Kelly. A matchup of Teal and Red is a surefire sizzler, especially as these teams tied 3-3 back in Week Four of regular season play. That is definitely the game to watch this Sunday, but Grey will be watching the waning moments of that one before warming up to defend their playoff lives against Purple. Two more teams will be thrown on the scrap heap this week, and one team will earn a Week Four bye and a trip to the big dance…don’t miss it!

The final week of the Summer League 2023 season kicked off with a clash between the two top teams, Olive and Teal. It’s incredible that the schedule (with some help from the lone rainout this season) saved the battle of the best for last, but it’s a bit ironic that this titanic tilt was also the only truly ‘meaningless’ match on the final Sunday slate. Both Captain Ryan Karns’ Teal and Captain Tyler Winstead’s Olive came in with a record of 6-1-1, so beyond regular season bragging rights, pride, and posturing, little more than the top playoff seed was on the line. A scoreless first was a testament to the two great goalies represented on these rosters, with both Don Tran and Sean Kelly deflecting double digit scoring chances through the first ten minutes of play. It was Captain Karns who would break through first, with assists to John Boddy and David Schlatter, to put Teal on top at 7:27 in the second. Schlatter would follow with one of his own just over a minute later (from Boddy), but Nick Vacchio gave Olive some life with just 0:33 to play in the middle frame, cashing in what has to be a career high eleventh goal to cut the lead in half (from Captain Winstead and Alexis DaCosta). Teal’s roster is so loaded that you almost forget about a veteran stalwart like Alan Razoky. He made sure Olive would remember his name, as he struck for two goals in the third (the first from Schlatter and Joe Nguyen, and the second from Vinny Santora and Captain Karns), building Teal’s lead to three with just three minutes and change to play. Kelly (24/25) would hold on to win the goalie duel, secure the 4-1 Teal win, and celebrate his team’s finish atop the regular season standings with a final record of 7-1-1. Don Tran (26/30) absorbed just his second loss of the season, but never looked off the form that found his regular season numbers right there with the ‘elite’ goalie tier (.914/2.00/3 SO). Teal will hope for a repeat defeat of eight-seeded Blue this Sunday…a team they managed to prevail over 1-0 in Week Seven, in spite of a number of key absences (Boddy, Schlatter, and Kelly…no big deal). Olive will tangle with the seven seed, White, whom they defeated 2-0 back in Week Three.

The real playoff pins and needles came into play from 5:00 on, with four games straight to decide the fate of the six teams who had yet to clinch playoff passage. Captain Zach Siemer’s team entered the week as the leader of the back pack, and it would take a loss and a lot of bad luck to land them on the playoff sideline, but…math can be a cruel mistress and ‘you never know’. Captain Ian Crooks’ Black had settled all the way to the bottom of the standings at 1-4-3, and only a win and some help would be enough for eleventh hour salvation. Kalen Hunter ripped Blacks’ hearts out before they could even beat twice, racing in off the opening faceoff and scoring NINE seconds in to give Grey what has to be a record for fastest lead in league history. Black would right the ship, and Steve Linke equalized with just three seconds to play in the first (from Mark DeGraffenreid and Stephanie Palomo Schmidt). Sadie Hellstrom flipped the script, turned the tide, and <enter third cliché of your choice>, giving Black a 2-1 lead on the power play at 9:46 in the second (from Captain Crooks and Mark DeGraffenreid). Alas, it would be just Black’s luck that Tom Darlington had just graduated from an intensive three month hockey course (taught by his wife, Janice…of course), and his new skills would translate into his first goal of the season to tie the game with 1:37 to play in the second (from Dan Soar). Soar would cash in one of his own to open the third period scoring (from Hunter) to put Grey back on top, Darlington’s second of the night (this was an advanced course, people) from Hunter pumped the lead to two, and Hunter’s empty-netter sealed the 5-2 win for Grey, and sealed Black’s fate, forever laid to rest in the crypt at the bottom of the Summer League 2023 standings. Matt Henderson (15/17) (shout out for always being the first person to ‘like’ the post announcing that new recaps are up) was strong and steady in the win, while Chuck Bender (12/16) and his mates would find consolation only in their open NFL Sundays for the coming month or so. The win moved Grey well out of harm’s way with nine points (3-3-3), but there was still one last playoff lamb to slaughter, and while this result eased tension for some, there was still wishful work to be done for others.

At 3-1-4 coming in, Captain Geoff Downe’s Red was already seated comfortably in the playoff lounge, with just their final seeding, momentum, and a possible scoring title for Jon Salt on the ‘what’s at stake’ list. Captain Rob Gaudio’s Blue had only just learned that they would survive the regular season. Black’s loss, and the fact that both Orange and White were set to clash in the nightcap (and therefor could not both win) meant that their seven point total entering warmups would be enough…if only JUST enough. It’s a good thing for Blue they didn’t need a win, because they very much did not win…they failed to even keep it close. Red smashed and grabbed their way through the first period, with goals from Mark Ennsmann (Chris Fiore), Geoff Downes, Jon Salt (Ennsmann), and Captain Downes himself (Salt and Ennsmann). The second period was still all Red, with Salt (Downes and Ennsmann), and Rogers (Ennsmann) building the lead to 6-0. Salt (from Fiore) kicked the extra point at 3:04 in the third to wrap the whipping at 7-0, locking in the three seed for Red, and dooming Blue to the bottom seed with the same seven points and two total wins that they had coming in. It’s not often that you see Chris Tran (25/32) touched up for more than two or three, but…it happens. Tran was also slated to sub in nets for both Purple at 7:00 and White at 8:00, so…this was just the start of a LONG night. A shutout can sometimes feel a bit ‘hollow’ when there is a seven spot at the other end, but Silas Perks (30/30) was just as dominant in preventing goals as his teammates were in racking them up. He finished the regular season atop the goalie stats board with a terrifying 4-1-2/.959/0.86/3 SO line…gross. In other chart-topping news, Jon Salt’s hat trick and a helper performance capped a staggering statistical season with 13 and 7 in just SIX games played! Only a handful of players (including little Salt Bro™, Zach) would have a chance to equal or eclipse that total in the final two games on the slate…

Captain Sev Brown’s Purple took the desperation baton for the 7:00 game, needing a win to get in to the postseason through the front door, or a tie, and an Orange loss to sneak in the back door (TWSS). Captain Carl Vankoughnett’s Yellow were in the rare position of being ‘frozen’ in the standings with regular season hockey left to be played. No result could result in any movement in either direction, with Red’s win locking them in at the four seed. Further, Grey’s winning finish meant that the Yellow v Grey matchup was already set in stone for playoff Week One. So, all of the pressure fell on Purple, but Zach Salt (from Captain Brown) and Trice Harvey (Brown and Salt) lowered that PSI with a pair of pops early in the first to give the desperados a dos a cero edge. Purple knuckles whitened and throats tightened as Captain Vankoughnett (Brennan Able and Jim LaGrossa) cut the lead to one at 9:16 in the second, and LaGrossa (Abel) brought Yellow level with 2:13 to play in the middle ten. You wouldn’t think that 2:13 left in a period would be enough time for more than maybe one more goal, but…you’d be wrong. Salt’s unassisted second at 2:05, his third at 1:48 (Wollmer and Captain Brown), and Harvey’s second of the night brought the blitz to bear on Yellow, and put Purple up 5-2 going into the final third. The tides turned again in the third, as an early strike from Elyse Shattuck (LaGrossa and Abel) got Yellow back in scoring form, but all remained calm from there until late in the period, when Captain Vankoughnett’s second of the night (from Mason LaGrossa) cut the lead to one with 1:11 to play. Luke Wolmer put Purple back on top 6-4 at the 0:59 mark, but his effort would ultimately stand as the game-winner after an incredible tic (LaGrossa)-tac (Abel)-toe (Vankoughett) tally capped Vankoughnet’s hat trick at 0:32, and kept the heat on Purple down to the final buzzer. Syd sub, Chris Tran (25/30), and Purple would hold on (BARELY) to a 6-5 win, completing their transformation from ‘dead and gone’ to six seed. Yellow did find some merit to the meaningless loss, with Brennan Abel’s four assists proving just enough to share the scoring title honors with Red’s Jon Salt (CONGRATULATIONS!). Jimm Reifsnyder (11/17) was tagged with the loss, but he was also merely a stand in for this one. He would need to take a short rest, and ready himself for his real game…a winner-take-all showdown with White in the season finale…

Again…it’s as if the schedule itself has a pulse, a brain, and a wicked sense of humor. Final faceoff of the season…two teams with everything to lose and everything to gain facing off under the lights in what is essentially a ‘play-in game’…crazy. Captain Josh Tran’s Orange held a one point edge over White in the standings, with the first ‘2’ in their 2-4-2 record coming in having come off a to-be-expected win over Black in Week Six, and a WTF beatdown of Olive in Week Seven. Anything but a loss in this game would have Orange squeezing through. Captain Sean Bathgate’s White had struggled most of the season, but had pulled the nose of the plane up in Week Nine with a super stunning trashing of top tier Teal. They would still need a win (and nothing less) in this one to survive to the second season. Timing is everything, and Pat Gladstone picked the perfect time for her first of the season…weaving through three White defenders and spinning off another before shaking and baking Chris Tran and finishing with a backhand shelf job! OK…she just tucked home a loose ball that was sitting on the goal line behind Tran after a Justin Stege shot found most of the way through the five hole, but…it counts just as much as the highlight reel jobber would have. Jordan Pynn responded for White two minutes later (from Chris Malki), and Joe Malki put White up 2-1 late in the first (from Papa Malki). A scoreless second meant a tense third, with both Nick Meglich stunt double, Chris Tran (24/25), and Jimm Reifsnyder (16/19) battling hard to give both sides a chance to the bitter end. Joe Malki (from Ramsey Ksar) underscored the ‘bitter’ bit of that phrase for Orange with his second of the night early in the third to give White a 3-1 lead which they would never relinquish. So, like the phoenix from the ashes…White’s rebirth was complete…and Orange’s season turned to ash. The winning coup brought Captain Bathgate’s crew to a closing mark of 3-5-1, good enough for the seven spot. They will look to avenge a 2-0 Week Three loss to Olive when playoff action kicks off this Sunday.