Captain Rob Gaudio’s Black and Captain Steve Linke’s Red rolled into Week Five looking to strive and stay alive in the playoff drive, with both sides sitting on one win, coming in. With two of the…less decorated goalies serving as the last line of defense for their respective sides, Vegas had the O/U set at 7.5. The offense oozed slowly at first, with a pair of Josh Tran tallies in the first (both from Sadie Hellstrom) accounting for the only score sheet accounting through one period of play, but the flood was coming, and (spoiler alert)…I hope you had the over. John Boddy matched Tran’s pair with two of his own early in the second to put Red at a four goal advantage, and Tran had the primary assist on both, with a second assist on the second goal credited to Sadie Hellstrom (her third apple of the afternoon). Just when you thought this was going to be a boat race all up in Black’s face, Jim Lagrossa (from Wendy Enright and Will Heinl) and Captain Gaudio (from The LaGrossa Boys™) cut the lead to two, and pumped some air back into a deflated Black bench. Phil Nguyen settled Red back in with a late strike to move the lead back to 5-2 (from Boddy and Captain Linke), and that was just the start of the hand-cramp-inducing fun and games for the scorekeeper in this one. Will Heinl brought Black back to within two with his first of the season at 7:10 in the third (from Kyle Snyder and Captain Gaudio), Boddy completed his hatty and pumped the lead back to three less than two minutes later (from Captain Linke), Snyder cut it back to two less than a minute later (from Jim LaGrossa), and Scott Wieland responded again for Red at 3:39 (from Tran) to make it 7-4 Red going into the final minutes of play. Alas, Black had just one live bullet left in the chamber, as Captain Gaudio found powerplay pay dirt with 1:04 to play (from Snyder) to round out the scoring in a wild and loose 7-5 win for Red. This is definitely not a game that either Jon Cima (14/19) and super sub, Chuck Bender (18/25) will want to include on their resume, but Cima & Company will certainly take the wins where they can get them. Red’s 2-2-1 first half is good enough for fourth place at the midway point. They will look to continue their high scoring swagger against a 1-1-2 Neon this Sunday, while Black will need to begin to dig their way out from below the cut line in their Week Six matchup with a 3-2-0 Brown brigade.

Another pair of teams struggling to find the start button on their season squared off in the second game on the Week Five slate. For Captain Mark Nagy’s Purple, the (sad) story coming in was a near complete lack of scoring (just ONE goal in three previous games), which (not surprisingly) meant just one point to show in the standings. Captain Sean Bathgate’s Neon had fared fairly well in the goals-for column coming in with six in three games and, unlike Purple, had actually managed a win in their first three tries, leaving them with the proverbial ‘sample platter’ start of 1-1-1. So…destined to be a close, low-scoring affair by all logic, and…at least one of those predictions came true. Jeff Henderson got the ball rolling in Purple’s favor with a powerplay strike from distance at 7:10 in the first (from Craig Russell), but David Schlatter would equalize at 1:10 (from Carl Vankoughnett and Kaity Gottfried), and twist home a 0:04 solo dagger to leave Neon on the high ground through one. The second period belonged to Purple, with Captain Nagy (from Josh Wirt) and Mark DeGraffenreid (on a sweet outlet pass from special guest sub, Kyra Forsyth) turning the tables in their team’s favor going into the final frame. The lead flipped back the other way one more time, courtesy of a 5:30 Chris Fiore strike, and an unassisted Vankoughnett goal to make it 4-3 Neon with time running low. Josh Wirt saved the day, and saved a big point in the standings for Purple with the knot-maker at 2:11 (from Ian Crooks), and that is how this one would end…in a 4-4 tie. Both Chuck Bender (15/19) and Chris Tran (14/18) split the spoils with solid efforts, and ‘a point is a point’, but Purple remain the only team without a win to this point in the season. They will need to find a way to punch their way to multiple wins if they want to remain in the playoff fight, but they face the toughest of challenges this Sunday in Orange (4-1-0). Neon have done enough to stay above the cut line in their first four games, and will look to keep it that way when they take on Red (2-2-1) in an intriguing middle ground melee.

The middle game finally provided some relief for the poor scorekeeping crew, as two of the stingiest teams in the league scrapped and scraped to find red light redemption over three tight periods of play. Captain Geoff Downes’ Orange rode in on a 4-0-0 high horse named ‘Hendo’…an homage to their out-of-his-fucking-mind-crushing-it-this-season goalie, Matt Henderson. The legend that is Sean Kelly was out of action for Captain Luke Wolmer’s Green, but with legend-to-be Silas ‘The Silencer’ Perks in nets in his stead, this one was definitely billed as a ‘whoever manages to score a single goal may win’ affair. Newcomer* Erick Zawislack managed just that, pushing his second of the season past Henderson to give Green a 1-0 lead at 5:10 in the first. Actual newcomer, Jason Lee, recorded his first SDFHL point on the play with the primary assist (CONGRATULATIONS!), and Shelby Shattuck collected the second. One goal…do I hear two? Anyone else? Just the one goal, then? Going once…going twice…sold to Captain Wolmer’s Green, 1-0. Yes, after TWENTY goals poured past pipe-minders in the first two games, this one was settled with one, and only one. Henderson (24/25) was the story again, although this time the story had a twist…the first loss for Orange on the season, leaving just Blue unblemished in that column. Perks would face less than a quarter of that total at the other end, stopping the whopping half dozen efforts he faced to earn a big W for his surrogate side. It’s worth mentioning that Orange was without Zach Salt for the second straight game, and were also missing second fiddle sniper, Justin Ker (who…let’s be honest…is rarely there), and defensive stalwart, Mostafa Azab. Green were without their captain, but you can be sure Luke’s eyes lit up upon seeing the group text after this one. Orange will look to bounce back from this new feeling (loss) against a desperate and determined Purple, while Green look to undue another undefeated season in a Week Six brush with Blue.

With Orange finally suffering a loss, Captain Jon Salt’s Blue was licking their chops at the chance to slip into the top spot in the standings. A win over a so-far-so-so White was all it would take, but Orange were not the only ones with a sodium shortage, and Blue would have to make do with Captain Jon off sailing the seven seas. A scoreless first bled into a scoreless second, as the goalies continued to dominate in the third and fourth games of the night. From twenty goals in six periods to just one in the ensuing five, this contest certainly had the ‘one goal could do the trick’ vibe all over again. With Captain Jon gone, it was ‘the other John’ who finally broke through for Blue, as Mr. Gamm cashed in at 5:35 (from Mark Ennsmann and Kalen Hunter) to put the undefeated favorites in a familiar position…on top (TWSS). Gary Peters would save the day and preserve an important point for White with his second of the season at 1:51 (from Jon Zygelman and Ryan Loughran), tying the tense tilt for good at one apiece. Both goalies were superb, with Silas Perks and Nick Vacchio each allowing just the one goal, and each making twenty-five saves. We have definitely come to expect this level of play from Perks, who is a perennial MVP on Cup contender after Cup contender, but Vacchio’s play has been eye-opening thus far, to say the least. His .933 is just a hair behind Perks for second overall in that category, and his 1.40 GAA is actually a touch better than that of ‘The Silencer’ (1.50)! It’s no wonder Blue is the only remaining team without a loss, when their goalie is going toe to toe with the best in the business, and the team is able to accrue three out of four points in the absence of their super star captain. It will be another juicy duel for Vacchio this week, as Captain Salt returns to lead his team against Sean Kelly and Green, while White will look to turn around their league-worst offensive numbers (four goals in four games) and climb above the cut line in a Week Six showdown with 2-2-0 Gold.

Team color combinations can (for me, anyway) often call to mind a season, or a holiday, or some pop culture this or that. When I think brown and grey (or brown and silver, or brown and black), a very on-theme vision comes to mind. Some of the sad, drab balloons for Kelly’s ‘It Is Your Birthday’ party were more inflated (or, less deflated) than others, and so was the case in what I am dubbing ‘The Birthday Balloon Battle™’ that served as the Week Five finale. Grey puffed up first, with Marc Lapointe’s first of the season coming courtesy of an Andy Strathman helper. It was all Brown in the second, though, with Brennen Abel leading a four goal charge that would suck the air out of the Grey ranks. Abel tied the game at 7:14 (from Janice Darlington and Dan Soar), then gave Brown the lead less than a minute later (from Soar and Hima Joshi). Vance ‘Refrigeration’ Morra was next to strike (from Jeremy Copp and…Nick Meglich!), and Harsh Wanigaratne made it 4-1 with just 0:12 to play in the middle stanza (from Janice Darlington and Soar). Jordan Pynn kept the Grey hope balloon aloft with his third of the season midway through the third, but Abel popped one more to complete the hat trick and wrap the scoring in a 5-2 Brown win. Janice ‘Clearly The Superior’ Darlington collected her third assist of the game on Abel’s third goal…good enough for second star of the game (and Darlington Manor bragging rights). Cory Brin (22/27) came back to earth after an other-worldly first game back from injury and absence in Week Four, while Nick Meglich (7/9) was (apparently) bored enough at his end that he decided to contribute to the offense! At 3-2-0, Brown sit just below the top two teams in the league, very much in the hunt for the catbird seat as we make the turn. They will look to build their win streak to three in ‘The Birthday Balloon Battle, Part Deux™’ this Sunday against Captain Gaudio’s Black, while Grey will make the tough choice of savoring their bye week by taking an hour nap, or watching an hour of TV.

Our cover team kicked off a night of close, low scoring games with a…very close, very low scoring game. Minutes after Steph Palomo Schmidt quipped ‘you better not let Gordon score, Pope’ Gordon Schmidt (naturally) scored to finally blow the literal pounds of dust off his SDFHL stat history and give White a 1-0 edge with 2:30 to play in the first (lone assist to another famous SDFHL spouse, Jeannine Stuzka). Purple poured on the pressure, and worked up a lot of quality scoring chances, but a-las…Si-las. Perks’ perfect performance (28/28) meant that Purple would be shut out for the second time in three games, with just one lonely goal to show for nine periods of play to date. Chris Tran (16/17) was heroic yet again, but had yet another L hung on him by another Silas silence job and one seeing eye shot from an washed up old man (no offense, Gordo). The 1-0 win is the first of the season for White, and an important one for their confidence and cut line comfort. Purple will look to finally generate some offense and get a first win of their own against a 1-1-1 Neon, while White will look to build back to .500 in Week Five with an upset win over 3-0-1 Blue.

Captain Luke Wolmer’s Green had visions of becoming the second 1-0 Week Four winners, after a scoreless first bled into a second period that saw Joe Malki stake his team to a 1-0 lead (from Ramsey Ksar). Those visions looked like a lock to become reality as the third period clock dripped down to the final minute, and Brown pulled Nick Meglich in a last ditch effort to salvage a 1-1 tie. Brennen Abel (from Vance Morra…Vance Refrigeration and Captain Rob LaVigne) would give them that 1-1 tie with just 0:18 to play (I think…could not read the score sheet), then shocked all involved by rattling home the ultra upset special with 0:01 to go! The 2-1 winning coup for Brown made Meglich (9/10) the brow-wiping winner, and Sean Kelly (23/25) the VERY hard luck loser, with Brown evening their record at 2-2-0, and Green dropping to 1-2-0. Brown will look to run their winning streak to three against fellow 2-2-0ers, Grey, while Green have a tough challenge in 4-0-0 Orange.

The ‘big blow out’ in Week Four was (much) more about the ridonkulous resurgence of Orange’s Matt Henderson than anything else. Captain Kaitlyn Brusso’s Gold outshot the favorites 26-10, but we all know it’s the ones that go in that count, and the count was once again in the favor of Captain Geoff Downes & Company. Justin Ker broke the scoreless draw with a nasty top shelf snipe with just eleven ticks remaining in the first (from Mostafa Azab), Chad Goins doubled the lead with a nifty breakaway burial at 6:21 in the second (from Captain Downes), and Glenn Pinto capped the scoring at 6:40 in the third (from Ker and first time sub, Kaela Martin). Again, though…the story here was Henderson, who stopped 26/26 to preserve the 3-0 win, improve his season line to .935/1.25/1 SO, and help Orange to their fourth straight win to start the season. It’s safe to say that Orange is already a lock for the playoffs, and they may well have what it takes to take down the Cup. Don Tran suffered his second loss of the season, as Gold dip to 2-2-0 heading into their bye week. Orange will look to stay perfect this Sunday against a tough, and triggered (see previous recap) Green side.

Two teams moving in opposite directions kept that inertia intact, as Captain Jon Salt’s Blue crew proved that they can spell ‘W’ without him in the lineup. It certainly helped Blue’s cause that Kyle Snyder was also elsewhere for this particular meeting, leaving Black with much less of a knack for attack. Kalen Hunter opened the scoring for Blue at 3:12 in the first (from Tim Hamon and Janine Ulloa), and closed the scoring with a solo shorty in the second, all while Nick Vacchio (16/16) was keeping the ‘lack’ in Black, and enjoying the Kalen Cruise Control™ . Don Tran (14/16) performed admirably in a pinch hit role for the ailing Jimm Reifsnyder (best to you, buddy), but he could not keep Captain Rob Gaudio’s group from slipping below the cut line at 1-3-0. The 2-0 win keeps Blue loss-free and still very much in striking distance of attic-dwelling Orange. They will look to keep pace (or pass) the only other undefeated team this Sunday in a showdown with White, while Black will look to put themselves on track before it’s too late against Old Man Linke’s 1-2-1 Red.

The nightcap was another tight tilt, with two middle-of-the-packers hoping to build points, momentum, and a (possible) tie breaker tipping result, as Captain Steve Linke’s Red brought their 1-1-1 record in to face Captain Kyle Prior’s 1-2-0 Grey. We had a Jordan Pynn sighting at 1:06 in the first, as the uber-skilled veteran blueliner converted a Dan Jurgens pass into paydirt to put Grey in front first. Actually, he put Grey in front first, and last, as that would be all the scoring that POTW and early ‘comeback player of the season’, Cory Brin would need to steal a win for his team. Brin was sensational in his return, stopping 24/24 while his team mustered just SEVEN shots the other way. Jon Cima (6/7) allowed just the Pynnpoint strike past him late in the first, but Leah Gonzales did add some icing with an empty netter with 0:26 remaining. The 2-0 win levels Grey’s record at 2-2-0, and they’ll look to make it two in a row before their bye as they take on Brown this Sunday. Red will look to bounce back in another pivotal match against a beleaguered Black in the Week Five early game.

Boxes are up…recaps to come…

Apologies…still a very busy time for me, so…stripped down recaps this week…back to full power next time, complete with plenty of riffs and reference to The Office…

The new season got off to a low gear start, with Captain Steven P Linke’s Red and Captain Mark Nagy’s Purple slogging to a 0-0 stalemate. This was perhaps as lopsided a draw as this league has ever seen, with Red generating twenty-six shots to Purple’s FOUR. Folks, Purple did not produce a single shot for the first two full periods! Meanwhile, Chris Tran (26/26) put on a ridiculous POTW performance, making several circus saves, and frustrating Red’s resident goal scoring machine, John Boddy. Elyse ‘Sweepy’ Shattuck was a standout for Purple’s defense, which was overworked from start to finish. A point is a point is a point, and it looks as though Purple will need to steal all the points they can get if they are going to survive the next nine encounters with their playoff pass intact.

Mostafa Azab finally broke the season scoring seal with 0:26 remaining in the first period (from Ryan Karns) to give Captain Geoff Downes’ Orange a 1-0 lead over Captain Sean Bathgate’s Neon. Weston Nawrocki answered on the powerplay at 2:44 in the second (from Shawna Hamon and Carl Vankoughnett), and as the clock ticked past the midway point in the third, this game looked destined to be a deja vu deadlock. Glenn Pinto had other ideas, circling behind Neon’s net and depositing a rather weak wrap around waffle past Chuck Bender to give Orange a 2-1 lead that would hold as the final score. Matt Henderson (13/14) was steady and solid as ever in the season opening win, while Chuck Bender would have little time to lick his wounds before stepping back in nets for this third game of the night…

The pace of play, intensity, and goal scoring finally hit stride in the middle match, with Captain Rob Gaudio’s Black squaring off with Captain Luke Wolmer’s Green. Both teams flashed their speed and flexed their skills throughout, with Jim LaGrossa (from Rob Gaudio) opening the scoring for Black, and Matt Rogers (from Chris Malki) responding to close the first period book at one apiece. Erick Zawislak made his (hulking) presence felt early in the second, converting a Joe Malki feed to give Green their first lead, but Kyle Snyder (speaking of hulk) responded for Black less and a minute later (from Mason LaGrossa). Both teams had their share of great plays and glowing chances, but it was Captain Luke Wolmer who found the game-winner on the power play with 5:06 to play in the second (with Rogers collecting a begged-for assist). A scoreless third was icing on the 3-2 winning cake for Sean Kelly (13/15), while a tired and tested Chuck Bender (17/20) absorbed the loss for Black at the other end in Jimm Reifsnyder’s stead.

The low scoring parity party continued into the 7:00pm showdown, with Captain Kyle Prior’s Grey grappling with Captain Kaitlyn Brusso’s Gold. This was an ugly one for all involved, with EIGHT penalties called…nearly triple the number of goals scored…yikes. Jordan Pynn had Grey in front just one minute in (from Alexis DaCosta), but Andrew Jacobsen equalized later in the first (from Alan Razoky and Zach Siemer). There were SIX penalties in that first period alone, and amazingly enough…neither of the goals was on the PP/PK. A scoreless second was also a kinder, gentler second, with just one penalty posted (super goon, Leah Gonzales, with a roughing penalty…naturally), and the third period saw one more penalty, and one more goal. The penalty belonged to Mr. Razoky (his second roughing minor of the night), and the goal belonged to Zach ‘Don’t Draft Me As A Defender’ Siemer. Siemer’s game-winner came courtesy of a Jacobsen feed with 1:32 remaining, and Don Tran (16/17) and Gold walked away from SDFHL’s best impression of WrestleMania with a 2-1 win. Nick Vacchio (15/17) battled hard, but ultimately took the hard luck loss in a fill-in roll for Cory ‘Mayor Of Halloweentown’ Brin.

The penalty box remained empty, but the offensive flood gates finally opened in the Week One finale, with Captain Jon Salt’s Blue taking on Captain Rob Lavigne’s Brown. It was Captain LaVigne himself leading the charge for Brown, notching two solo strikes in the first. Those strikes with interspliced with a pair from Kalen Hunter (the first from Captain Salt and Mark Ennsmann, and the second an unassisted effort), leaving the score knotted at 2-2 going into the middle frame. Captain Salt (from Ennsmann) gave Blue a one goal lead, and Hunter completed his hat trick and doubled that lead (from Salt and Joe Nguyen), putting Blue well in command with ten minutes to play. It was Salt again to balloon Blue’s lead to three with 9:28 to play, and a too little, too late response from Brennan Abel (LaVigne and Leah Gonzales) to bring about the 5-3 final, Blue over Brown in game that equaled the total goal scoring output from the first three games on the slate combined. Nick Vacchio (16/19) rebounded from his sub duty loss to record a win for his team, while Nick Meglich (19/24) was left digesting a very bitter, very salty meal in the debut loss for Brown.